posted February 09, 2015 10:13 AM            

His nessus conjuncts mercury which are both intercepted and this conjunction conjuncts my Sun very tightly and my sun is ruled by mercury which is retro natally.

Whether consciously or unconsciously he used communication or in this case the absence of it strategically to hurt my ego and this had deep effect.

The sun is such a sensitive point that I think is better to have jupiter conjunct Sun in synastry which uplifts your ego but nessus conjunct sun can make you sensitive to your ego been hurt over and over again via the relationship even if is not the other person's intention.

Its like with holding communication becomes about hurting the other; he is not been verbally abusive but it stings just as much..

Hope this helps...

Just check what Nessus is aspecting natally to see how nessus will play out is my advice.

posted February 09, 2015 01:52 PM            

http://youtu.be/ZUQJKMngrYo

That was the crux of our initial argument, too. He worried about ratings, and I wanted to do GOOD TV, as opposed to the tripe you see on most broadcast (if not all) networks. And, of course, though McAvoy's a news anchor, and he was a stand up comic, both have the issue of needing a large group of strangers to 'love' them.

All in all, we shelved our own show, barring the very likelihood of outbreaks like this one ...

http://youtu.be/SQ1EmYonDjk

(Of which a mini-version already occurred in 2012.) I do recall I actually said, 'Jesus Christ, how much do you hate me?' and don't remember if it's just what I'd normally say, or if I had the scene pop into my head. (Ohhh, life in Hollyweird.)

This is the one that always sticks in my mind, though, even more than all of the others.

http://youtu.be/1qnZPXBOWU0

Which I recall as 'say what you want to say to me.' Which ends up going about as you might expect, with characters who have such a history.

Maybe it all hits home really hard to me because I'm both a TV writer and created similar characters with him back in 2005. Nonetheless ... hard it does hit.

At the end of the day, it was too much. Unlike being borne of Sorkin's pen, I was in charge of my own happy ending or tragic one. The series ended a year after we shelved our own show, and we watched it together from a distance 'til the end. Sometimes very awkwardly. Other times, weird isolated bits of truth would sneak through his cynical exterior -- and vanish just as suddenly, leaving me with the confusion as to whether or not they were ever there to begin with.

So I moved on. Looking back, I can't believe how much of it I took. How I withstood it for almost a decade. Day in, day out. His barbs -- his endless, wounding barbs. If I stop to reflect upon it, I either ball up my fists or cry.

No happy ending there. Just moving on.

As usual, if someone's evolved, their NESSUS will act in a transcending, taboo-breaking, barrier-busting fashion. They won't seek to harm you; they won't be ruthless -- or ruthless against you.

They'll be more akin to my boyfriend, whose NESSUS squares my ASC/VENUS. Bringing a bouquet of white roses, in apology (for having to end our relationship years ago), before a crowd of friends completely not in-the-know of anything, and still entirely unabashed. He cared, but he didn't; the only thing in that moment that mattered was that I knew how much he loves me, and how much pain he was truly in.

Frankly, that's the reason he is the one to whom I always returned. Who's NEVER treated me with anything but respect, and conducts himself with total honesty.

I gave my Twin a chance. Many, many chances. At the end of the day, I wanted to be loved. He can't do that.

For me, it feels like that NESSUS conjunct NNODE (0º40).