posted February 17, 2015 12:00 AM            

This song is for the rats,
Who hurled themselves into the ocean,
When they saw that the explosives in the cargo hold,
Were just about to blow.

This song is for the soil;
That's toxic clear down to the bedrock,
Where no thing of consequence can grow.
Drop your seeds there.

Let them go.

Let them all go.
Let 'em all go.

And once there was a desk,
And now it's in a storage locker somewhere.
And this song is for the stick pins and the cottons,
I left in the top drawer.

Let 'em all go.

I saw you waiting by the roadside.
You didn't know that I was watching ...
Now you know.

Let it all go.

-

That little tune is Cotton by The Mountain Goats. Strangely, it's the song that comes to me at the oddest moments when I think of him. Yet, I'm sure I know why.

You see, once there was a man who loved a woman more dearly than anything else in his world. Unfortunately, he couldn't love. At all. Any attempt he made to show her his appreciation was immediately stifled by his own hand. Alas, over time, she felt unloved, and ... left.

Oh, you've heard this story before? I wouldn't be surprised.

The way theirs differs is that she couldn't leave. Not really. They were Twin Flames, and had important, monumental, world-saving calibre things to do. And he showed her by his unwillingness to let her go that it wasn't just because they were Twins. ... Kind of. It took awhile. In the meantime, they fought and made up, and fought worse, and were called 'the worst Twin Flames ever' by the actual worst Twin Flames ever -- and everybody had a laugh. And bonded more tightly together. They lost some battles, and they won some. At the end of the day, they saved each other. And the world.

We think he told her he loved her. Maybe. She told him before she left that she loved him, so the onus was really on him. But we don't know for sure. We know that he wanted to.

Fade to black.
Roll credits.
Lights go up.
Everybody goes home.

And once there was a man who loved a woman more than he'd loved any other woman (but his mother, and his favourite sister; so, more than any other woman to whom he wasn't in some way related). Unfortunately, he couldn't love. He didn't know how. Instead, he would be sarcastic, or snarky, or dry-witted, when all she wanted was a little appreciation, and acknowledgement of their relationship.

Over many difficult years, they created a world together, and populated it with many people who brought joy to others. Alas, over time, she felt unloved ... and left.

You've heard this one, too?

Well, the trouble was, that she couldn't leave. Not really. They were Twin Flames, and had to share that world and meet a higher calling, and had important, monumental things to accomplish. He was unwilling to let her leave because of their mutual responsibility, or being 'soulmates', or maybe some combination of the two. And so they resumed their work, and fought, and made up, and fought worse, and were called 'the worst Twin Flames ever' by those who knew much more capable, cooperative, and effective Twin Flames. Nobody was really laughing, though, despite the merriment that had been an intrinsic feature of their relationship.

They lost some major battles, but won a few. At the end of the day, they lost each other. And their world crumbled -- at the very least became relegated to development hell.

He once told her he loved her, but denies it ever happening, and no record exists of the event, so it's lost to history. She told him before she left that she loved him, so the onus was really on him. Popular opinion is that he wanted to, but was too afraid of losing her, and failing to recover from it.

One foot in front of the other.
No credits.
Lights go down.

Finit.

Done.

I like to believe that we had a good run, and the present is the process of letting go; of being able to release each other from whatever earthly bonds we've had, or karma we've collected together.

Astrologically speaking, the way my SNODE hits dead-on three of his very crucial midpoints -- VENUS/MARS, EROS/PSYCHE, and AURA/ANUBIS -- seems a very clear indication of the connexion we've had; the things we've done, the experiences we've shared together.

It's further emphasised by my MOON/ANGEL/URA on his SNODE/SATURN/KARMA. We've run the races together. And, who knows? Maybe we did save the day a few times, and each other, plenty.

But now, rather than dedicating chapters and volumes, we're a footnote; the link to a greater work of much import and significant value. But this isn't that work.

We've both cleared our Saturn Returns now, and seen each other every opportunity we've had. But what to DO with each other always becomes the larger, glaring question. It's hard to be filming in the same studio as a former costar, and not think of the time you lit up the screen together. So, you don't. Or you try not to.

Instead, my Guardian Soulmate's VENUS/KARMA is a perfect lock to my ISIS/OSIRIS, which is part of my NNODE stellium. So, ISIS/NNODE, really. And what could be better for a Twin Flame to learn how to unlock the beauty and power of her ISIS?

Some Twins aren't here to be together. Some are here to let each other go; to clear the karma they've amassed as a unit, release it, and then release each other.

Who knows how long this process can take? One thing's for certain. It can be painful sometimes; enlightening, and fulfilling at others.

Let 'em all go.

I'm blessed with the love that I have. It can be troubling to 'remember' the past, or entertain feelings from another timeline / eigenstate / lifetime. What's been worst is the feeling of failure. Maybe one day, we'll be able to succeed in what we're here to do, and then we can release each other without resentment, pain, or sadness.

Until then ...

This one is for the stick pins and the cottons I left in the top drawer.

(A meditation upon tVENUS/MARS and tEROS/PSYCHE conjunct cAMOR (1º).)

And enjoy one of the best photobombs ever, thanks to the kiddo.

< / emo >

How was that, huh? Just rips your heart out, right? Well, I thought so, too. A few weeks later, I'd delve more deeply with one of our own foremost expert, iQ, to try and understand this phenomenon better. And, damned if it wouldn't lead to something far more useful.

So that up there, ladies and gents, is my karmic soulmate. One of them, at least. As to why I was 'fooled' ... well, let's just say that sometimes the earlier stages of working out a theory are downright embarrassing.

These days, I'm pretty meh about the whole twin flame anything. It never felt right to me; I was always searching for anything to make sense of my 'nonsensical life'.

posted February 17, 2015 06:16 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Astrologically speaking, the way my SNODE hits dead-on three of his very crucial midpoints -- VENUS/MARS, EROS/PSYCHE, and AURA/ANUBIS -- seems a very clear indication of the connexion we've had; the things we've done, the experiences we've shared together.

It's further emphasised by my MOON/ANGEL/URA on his SNODE/SATURN/KARMA. We've run the races together. And, who knows? Maybe we did save the day a few times, and each other, plenty.

(A meditation upon tVENUS/MARS and tEROS/PSYCHE conjunct cAMOR (1º).)

---

Still a lot of story-spinning compared to astro-substance for my tastes but one tries to catch you where one can, and what astro pointers you do mention seem to spin me in other directions. Or to bring up other questions, as on the other thread I bumped a while ago. Not sure where to put this so it ends up here since it was triggered by this, for me to remember if nothing else.

Point: Not sure if I considered SN hitting someone's midpoints a valid contact with people's complaints about the Nodes not being this or that or the other and/or MPs needing "tangible" hits (planets?) to work... but good to see you noted Ve/Ma =SN for synastry. It's also DC/Vertex = Ve/Ma = Sun in one chart, so the South Node does have something tangible to touch even if the midpoint/tangible-contact is to the person's own chart more so.

I think you listed DC/VX as a fated relationship in Peluches' karmic points thread. That with the added Venus/Mars= Sun conj an SN, square (Karma= Eros/Psyche MP), seems to add some of your "connexion we've had; the things we've done, the experiences we've shared together" potential to things. Not a TF anything, just past vibes. Karma-person's Sun also 2 deg square the Ve/Ma = DC/Vx=Sun MP to the SN but that's wide where Eros/Psyche=Karma is exact to the whole lot.

Ve/Ma =Karma in syn, Karma trine Venus, other Karma conj Venus.

It's Angel 2 conj NN here though, Angelica-NN opposite the Ve/Ma=Sun. Other Ve/Ma is 1 conj the other person's Angel.

Not sure if I'd count a Sun/Moon=Venus synastry contact to Chiron when it's likewise 2 deg away from the MP, 1 conj the Venus. Uranus opp Sun/Moon is exact. Just interested in the Chiron since the synastry is DC conj Chiron-Pholus and Chiron conj DC-ruler Venus. DC-ruler Uranus opp DC-ruler Venus likewise in with the lot. Also, Venus's Eros/Psyche squares their Chiron-Pholus, so the other's ASC/DC = (Eros/Psyche=Chiron) or something.

Also have Sun/Chiron = other person's SN, tho by 1-1,5. The other's Sun/Chiron MP is 1 conj their Moon and the other's MC.

posted February 17, 2015 01:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peluches:
Auby, you actually look so much like me ! o.O

Very nice pic

---

Well. C'est ne pas trop folie, est-il?

VIRGO rising, VENUS sharing the sign, SUN in LIBRA, MERC in SCO ... quite a lot, really, considering MERC is the chartruler.

posted February 17, 2015 01:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by twinflame1914:
That was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

*hugs*

---

Thanks, TF. These little meditations bubble up when they do, and I've learnt to accept and move through, rather than avoid and stuff them down.

posted February 17, 2015 02:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Well. C'est ne pas trop folie, est-il?

VIRGO rising, VENUS sharing the sign, SUN in LIBRA, MERC in SCO ... quite a lot, really, considering MERC is the chartruler.

Not to mention, I've never looked my age.

---

Non, ce n'est pas étonnant ! Venus sharing the degree

posted February 17, 2015 05:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peluches:
Non, ce n'est pas étonnant ! Venus sharing the degree

No, really, I used to think it was all genetics, but now...

---

posted February 18, 2015 01:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Je sais. Sure, my mother -- but we also have the 08º VIR connexion. My stepdaughter even has physical resemblance to me. 08º VIR degree again (and 10º VIR, too.) C'est extraordinaire!

---

Oui ! Venus looks important ; the only thing my parents and I have in common there is Venus conjunct Ceres. Strangely, the only places where I don't look like you are the nose, that I got from my dad, and eyebrows from my mom. Like two little details coming from Venus cj Ceres, whereas the rest is indicated by the precise placement of Venus. C'est très étrange !

posted September 30, 2015 06:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Empty Spaces:
He is indeed your twin..you two look so much alike hehe WOW! that is crazy!

---

Heh. That's the false twin, actually, or 'the karmic soulmate', as it were. It becomes quite confusing after awhile. Enough to make your head spin, and just throw your hands up and say, 'I give!'

But that's the overall feeling that led me to talking seriously to iQ about it; asking if I was right about the whole thing. If my theory -- that we just met up with each other for the purpose of driving each other crazy to the point where I'd leave -- was correct. If some twins are simply here to teach the other to love themselves so that they go on, solo, to do 'the great work'.

posted September 30, 2015 06:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Heh. That's the false twin, actually, or 'the karmic soulmate', as it were. It becomes quite confusing after awhile. Enough to make your head spin, and just throw your hands up and say, 'I give!'

But that's the overall feeling that led me to talking seriously to iQ about it; asking if I was right about the whole thing. If my theory -- that we just met up with each other for the purpose of driving each other crazy to the point where I'd leave -- was correct. If some twins are simply here to teach the other to love themselves so that they go on, solo, to do 'the great work'.

It got me wondering a lot about what the whole point even was, if that's the case. That's what caused iQ to reevaluate, or consider a novel 'triplet flame' theory. In either case, he determined that he is clearly my karmic soulmate, 'masquerading' as a twin flame, for some greater lesson.

---

posted October 01, 2015 09:05 AM            

The key to acceptance of that Twin Soul is self acceptance.

You deal with your relationship with your Twin by dealing with your relationship with yourself. Embrace yourself, you hold your Twin, I think.

On another note, it's amazing how much love and satisfaction soul mates can bring into your life...even after possibly meeting your Twin, but again I think that's possible when we focus on self-work.

posted October 01, 2015 12:19 PM            

You and your twin are a beautiful couple! Thanks for the pic.

He's really hot.

posted October 01, 2015 12:33 PM            

Ohhhhhh, boy.

And just when you think you're ready to move on from dealing with your karmic soulmate, you finish writing the final scene of the series you were going to do together, and someone necroposts on a thread you made early in the year.

And here I was beginning to question a lot about the Universe, because it didn't seem as if it was bloody listening anymore.

Well played, Universe. Well played.

The above photo is of my 'karmic soulmate', for lack of better, and myself from around his 30th birthday. My stepdaughter is photobombing us; my husband snapped the photo. We were driving through, and we always try and have lunch and say hello.

And of course, he's hot. I don't cast unattractive leading men. What, you think I'm a moron?

Instead, I'm pretty convinced I have no twin flame. I'm kind of growing tired of the whole concept, to be honest. Everyone's an expert, and nobody knows anything. That bothers a scientist like me, and I don't think it's what I'm here for.

Faith: honey, my boyfriend and I cleared the VENUSRx, so, I am quite pleased to say that, while our schedules blew into smithereens shortly thereafter, he and I are as strong as ever. No worries there -- outside of the ones I have when I'm feeling insecure, that is.

posted October 01, 2015 12:52 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
:I'm kind of growing tired of the whole concept, to be honest. Everyone's an expert, and nobody knows anything. That bothers a scientist like me,.

---

Oh yeah, I hear you.

posted October 01, 2015 12:53 PM            

I'm so glad he's your karmic soulmate, to be honest...he does not look like he would be your TF.

posted October 01, 2015 12:56 PM            

how would her TF look like? What do you think?

posted October 01, 2015 01:20 PM            

Whereas here, he's giving off one vibe, and hers is quite different, and I just can't imagine how those emotional trajectories would OVERLAP. Criss-cross yes, or maybe run parallel. But not conjoin.

Just my dreamy little hunch.

posted October 01, 2015 01:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Oh yeah, I hear you.

Still you look vibrant together. Sorry to that, but that is how I feel seeing the picture.

---

That's the Arizona sun, Ceri. Just kidding. Kinda.

I think we did. I think he really believed then, you know? He believed something. Like we were going to get out, and make it big, and do grand things. He was at the end of his rope, and I was in love and happy. Plus, you can't discount the kiddo. She's such a light. That girl illuminates anything.

But, no, I do. I do think so. If I recall, he wrote me a very powerful email a few weeks later, apologising for a lot. That's when he made it clear he was 'waiting for me to save us'. I wanted to! He's brilliant! We could've lit up the screen, and, in another eigenstate, I've no doubt we did.

Thing is, my boyfriend and I can't be in the same space -- or even on the same plane -- for long without binding together. And, for all his solitary nature and distance, he lets it happen. My ex / producing partner never did.

I couldn't live in the reality where 'he was my twin flame' anymore. I just couldn't. We were just tearing each other apart here, and it was obvious that wouldn't stop until I left, or he got a clue -- whichever came first, as they say.

posted October 01, 2015 01:40 PM            

BTW - just randomly - I stumbled across old family pictures, among them some rare ones with both my parents.

I don`t know what these two are, but they have been setting the bar in terms of love-relationships pretty high for me.

(Auby, I know this is your thread, and I will take down the pictures here again, just wanted to share those for a short moment. I just feel privileged to grow up in midst of so much love and devotion - and heated discussions. lol)

posted October 01, 2015 01:43 PM            

I had no idea who posted them. I had no idea who were in them.

But I knew, 'that's Ceri's parents. Wow; even though her mother seems to be 'driving' the energy, she's not. They're connected right there. At what would be considered the heart-level, or 'heart chakra'. Hmmmmm.'