posted March 09, 2015 11:35 PM            

He only the other hand, has been reaching out to me, even more.

He didn't call me at all today, and I didn't call him either.
Then just a few minutes ago, I get a call from a weird #.

I answer it, it's him, I asked where r you calling me from, he said the Fax machine line.. Lol..
I said why, he said idk. I just wanted to say hi. I said ok.
We spoke briefly, he sounded sad, he said, ok, I'll call you later.. It was kinda weird.. Idk..

The only thing I know, is he has just as hard of a time letting me go, as I do.

Here's synastry I'm on the inside.

Composite.

posted March 10, 2015 12:56 AM            

My Saturn 18'02
His Nn 17'35

posted March 10, 2015 11:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
My Saturn is his Node skipped step. Could that be causing this mess?

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If it IS your SATURN square his NODES that's keeping you two embroiled in this, then his ambivalence could stem from the fact that he has nothing that allows him to relate to it. You know how men freak out when an emotion feels more powerful than they do? That the unknown is what's ultimately most terrifying?

SATURN square one's NODES, without anything to 'shield' the Midpoint from direct contact, can feel like anything from the IRS coming for an audit to the Reaper knocking on the door. It can fill the NODES with dread -- seemingly from nowhere. Of course, the IRS doesn't come to you because they have nothing better to do. It's because you owe. And they're there to collect.

Trouble is, this may be an old, old debt, whose prevalence barely even means anything on the conscious level anymore. And yet, souls are bound in contracts, and debts must be paid in order to allow each other to move on.

Your NNODE is disturbingly close to his PSYCHE/EROS without being in orb. Outside of being frustrating as all get out, I can't help but feel that you might be building rather than ending. Perhaps, you're changing phase. The romantic dynamics haven't solidified just yet, and so you're in this stuck position.

Closest thing that's hitting your SNODE -- kinda -- is his JUPITER. Not a bad thing to have, but in the SNODE spot ... ugh ... you're just wrapping up a lot of lifelines where mirth and merriment was the order of the day. Kinda like partying in college, and suddenly realising you forgot to study one time too many, and you're failing out.

SATURN can be a rude awakening to reality that the party's over, and it just can't last forever.

But you notice how his NNODE is close to your PSYCHE, too? That's a resonance. Your EROS is kinda close to his SNODE, too. I've found I'm not a fan of this. 'Wrapping up sexual karma' without something erotic, romantic, and otherwise binding for the NNODE to latch onto just feels like having to remember the great times you and your spouse had in bed whilst sitting across from each other in the attorney's office undergoing divorce proceedings. Yeeeugh.

Plus, he's carrying VALENTINE and ANGEL, which is conjunct your PSYCHE, which has a NNODE resonance.

Maybe you guys are done with Earth for awhile. You're transitioning. Which means ... paying the piper.

Whenever the ASC/DSC overlays the NODES, it's a deep soul connexion obtained over many, many lifelines -- if not close soul-family. But take my word for it -- that's never a guarantee. In fact, that don't have to mean a hill o' beans in the here and now. And, MAN, that's a HARD lesson.

So what's up with your SATURN? I think we'd have to take a look at the Draco and sidereal synastry to get a better idea of what's owed, as it's just not showing up in the tropical. Bear in mind, that means it may not need to be paid HERE and NOW.

Some things are just ... deeper, or more hidden. And others, we just ... have to learn to let go.

posted March 10, 2015 11:46 PM            

It seems like we can't let go of the bond, even though it's the best thing.

It's always me, who ends it, it's usually me who goes back, but this time it was him.

posted March 10, 2015 11:55 PM            

Do you thin in trop. Synastry his a BMl is causing the obsession?

posted March 11, 2015 12:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Thank you, quick correction, this has/is a romantic relationship. We have Ben on and off for 5 of 6 years. He's been in my life for 11 years.

It seems like we can't let go of the bond, even though it's the best thing.

It's always me, who ends it, it's usually me who goes back, but this time it was him.

I'll post the Dr and side. Give me a few. If I can clear this up at least in my head, I would be in a better place.

---

Well, it's that the romantic dynamics haven't solidified or found proper footing. Hence I think the reason why the expected NNODE contacts for it are missing.

posted March 11, 2015 12:11 AM            

Notice the DW Venus/Juno in sidereal?
Notice in sidereal he goes to Leo I go to cap.

Not sure what it is, but our life's are so similar, and we think exactly alike, even though the synastry doesn't really reflect that.

On a reading I had before, it was said our auras are so intertwined.

posted March 11, 2015 12:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
Do you think in trop. Synastry his a BML is causing the obsession?

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Honestly, while I can tell that his BML conjunct your SUN/MOON is clearly a valid aspect, it's not activated without sexual dynamics. Active interactions. The only way they might be perpetuated through fantasy would be if he were replaying things in his head, and cast you in 'the bad girl' role. Typically, these are obsessions stemming from taboo relationships and partners of some manner of inappropriate nature.

Plus, a man's BML is a fascinating thing. He's far more likely to be obsessed when one of his masculine points contacts her BML (or LILITH). Otherwise, men seem more readily obsessed with their PRIAPUS involved. Women can be, too, it just depends upon how comfortable one is with their sexuality. (Accepting my PRIAPUS was so not easy!)

So while BML can certainly be a component of obsession, in men it tends to act with more of a Plutonian vibe; the smoldering distance. God, I hate to reference that damned property, but it's the Christian Grey type -- erm, minus the crazy stalking. (Because, seriously -- crazy stalking!) BML is so terrified of losing its independence, overall, that in men it operates easily at a distance, tapping into the man's principle of feminine sexuality -- which means he doesn't pursue unless the 'hunter' instinct kicks in. BML seeks to dominate and nothing less. If that isn't possible, then the man in possession of it will redirect his energies elsewhere.

posted March 11, 2015 12:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Ok. I think you mean this one.

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posted March 11, 2015 01:00 AM            

You guys have an exact dVENUS conjunct dMARS. That means it's permeating your dynamics, but there's nothing undone in the VENUS/MARS category, so to speak. You've been there, done that, got many tee-shirts. Now, this is Draco, so it's an ongoing thing, and kind of setting up for (again) future stuff.

But there's nothing in Draco-to-tropical that's pulling it into the here and now. So, simply put, no outstanding karma in the VENUS/MARS department means it's not going to be high on our souls' agenda.

Now, remember, you've got dVENUS conjunct dMARS. There's no way on Earth that the two of you wouldn't at least be visiting a sexual relationship for a period of time here.

However ...

When we look at dJUNO ...

Sure, it's the Draco, which means that the NODES aren't going to move, but there's a reason why you guys are going to pick charts with dJUNO so near to the NODES. In this case, the SNODE.

At this point in your souls' history, the lessons of JUNO are not outstanding, as indicated by dJUNO conjunct dSNODE. If anything, you likely chose to revisit a relationship out of comfort and familiarity. Because, deep down, (and you know this) you guys love each other.

Ah, but souls ... it's not like humanity. There's a schedule; an agenda that must be satisfied. The stronger the soul connexion, the deeper that bond, the more likely you'll choose to have SOME time together, but without a binding aspect like dJUNO conjunct nNNODE -- a committed relationship was likely to be of short duration, for the purpose of being together again, just because you missed that feeling.

posted March 11, 2015 01:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
Haha,,, actually I think you nailed BML, I couldn't stop laughing..

As for the earth moon/mars
Yes, that's a good description, we bond so closely, maybe even to much at times, that it becomes over powering, that we end up in an argument (pushed on by me) that it explodes. But as crazy as it sounds we have reasonable arguments, meaning. We never ever disrespect or curse, we just disagree strongly! Lol

---

I'm glad! I've done a lot of research into BML, as well as PRIAPUS.

Never being disrespectful and 'hitting below the belt' is key to treating each other with the level of care we deserve. Well done.

posted March 11, 2015 01:27 AM            

Prob 1 is we work together.

First we talk, here and there, not much. Once or twice a week.
Gradual we talk more and more, than talking to each other becomes an obsession. We text/talk all day 7days a week. About anything and everything.. We bond emotionally durning these conversations.

Then the sexual tension builds and builds, and the attraction gets stronger and stronger.

Then we start talking about making this work, but going slow. So we go out, get together, and then these intense feelings take over.
We both become obsessed, and it turns into possession, and the power struggle (Pluto stuff)
The intense feelings become so overwhelming, and out of control, he says he can't do this. I get really upset, and I react emotionally. Then we end up giving each other some space, which ends up feeding the obsession fuel. I usually pick a fight, and I walk away, or force him to. Which he does.

Usually a month or so later, we start talking again, and start the exact same pattern over..

We are stuck in this pattern for 6 years like this.

For me, honestly I feel I'm "better" with out him, but I find it impossible to resist the strong pull to him. I feel like I have no control over it.

I feel I'm being help hostage by these feelings /him.
It starts to bother me so deeply, that I get to a point where I just can't handle it.

posted March 11, 2015 01:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
Here is our pattern which explains the why. The best way to describe it is by explaining the pattern.

Prob 1 is we work together.

First we talk, here and there, not much. Once or twice a week.
Gradual we talk more and more, than talking to each other becomes an obsession. We text/talk all day 7days a week. About anything and everything.. We bond emotionally durning these conversations.

Then the sexual tension builds and builds, and the attraction gets stronger and stronger.

Then we start talking about making this work, but going slow. So we go out, get together, and then these intense feelings take over.
We both become obsessed, and it turns into possession, and the power struggle (Pluto stuff)
The intense feelings become so overwhelming, and out of control, he says he can't do this. I get really upset, and I react emotionally. Then we end up giving each other some space, which ends up feeding the obsession fuel. I usually pick a fight, and I walk away, or force him to. Which he does.

Usually a month or so later, we start talking again, and start the exact same pattern over..

We are stuck in this pattern for 6 years like this.

For me, honestly I feel I'm "better" with out him, but I find it impossible to resist the strong pull to him. I feel like I have no control over it.

I feel I'm being help hostage by these feelings /him.
It starts to bother me so deeply, that I get to a point where I just can't handle it.

This time is different though. I'm stronger this time, (yeah right) well sort of. Lol

---

That sounds EXACTLY like the relationship I had with my Twin. 9 years. Yeah. I know it hurts like hell, but you've got to both learn how to disconnect. It'll take time. And it'll be very hard. But I've found that it's 'freed' me up to be able to devote my time more productively and build better relationships.

Relationships that don't implode because the second things start getting serious again, he freaks out and heads for the hills.

posted March 11, 2015 01:38 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
So, THIS is interesting.

You guys have an exact dVENUS conjunct dMARS. That means it's permeating your dynamics, but there's nothing undone in the VENUS/MARS category, so to speak. You've been there, done that, got many tee-shirts. Now, this is Draco, so it's an ongoing thing, and kind of setting up for (again) future stuff.

But there's nothing in Draco-to-tropical that's pulling it into the here and now. So, simply put, no outstanding karma in the VENUS/MARS department means it's not going to be high on our souls' agenda.

Now, remember, you've got dVENUS conjunct dMARS. There's no way on Earth that the two of you wouldn't at least be visiting a sexual relationship for a period of time here.

However ...

When we look at dJUNO ...

Sure, it's the Draco, which means that the NODES aren't going to move, but there's a reason why you guys are going to pick charts with dJUNO so near to the NODES. In this case, the SNODE.

At this point in your souls' history, the lessons of JUNO are not outstanding, as indicated by dJUNO conjunct dSNODE. If anything, you likely chose to revisit a relationship out of comfort and familiarity. Because, deep down, (and you know this) you guys love each other.

Ah, but souls ... it's not like humanity. There's a schedule; an agenda that must be satisfied. The stronger the soul connexion, the deeper that bond, the more likely you'll choose to have SOME time together, but without a binding aspect like dJUNO conjunct nNNODE -- a committed relationship was likely to be of short duration, for the purpose of being together again, just because you missed that feeling.

And then ... you move on.

---

It would have been so much easier, if this was just a short term relationship.

He considers us a LTR, with "breaks" I don't consider us a LTR, I think we are just refusing to let it go. Honestly, I think I can let it go easier than him.

He told me, how hurt he felt when we stopped talking, me on the other hand was better.

When we talk I get obsessed, when we don't talk he gets obsessed.
Mars opps mars??

posted March 11, 2015 01:44 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
That sounds EXACTLY like the relationship I had with my Twin. 9 years. Yeah. I know it hurts like hell, but you've got to both learn how to disconnect. It'll take time. And it'll be very hard. But I've found that it's 'freed' me up to be able to devote my time more productively and build better relationships.

Relationships that don't implode because the second things start getting serious again, he freaks out and heads for the hills.

Be strong, Lioness. I know you can. You're a lioness, after all.

---

posted March 11, 2015 02:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
I'm stronger this time around.. He has stood up and taken notice. I've been distant, and a lil cold to him, which kinda makes him come on stronger.
He's very passive/aggressive.
Lately his aggressive side has been showing through. I actually like his passive side better..

---

posted March 13, 2015 09:02 PM            

We got into a disagreement, his fault btw.. He texted me he was sorry, and to please forgive him.
I didn't reply to his texts, nor answer the phone when he called..
The next day, we had it out, he said why do I always do this to him ( disappear) I told him, cause you hurt my feelings, and I didn't want to talk to you at the moment.

Later he called me, he said, he doesn't want to do this anymore. Basically said he didn't want anything to do with me, I said ok. We hung up.

The next dat ( today) he texts me. Tells me how messed up I am, that he tries to give me support but, I won't hold on to it. That I take off.

I explained, sometimes I just need time and space to deal with my feelings, just be patient. I'm trying to deal with all these feelings I have for you. I said I don't want to lose you, but at times I need to separate my self.
He said you will never lose me.