posted May 19, 2015 04:11 PM
Hi Moonfish It's been a while since I last saw you on here!
Thanks for posting the link to that thread, LeeLoo.
I actually wrote quite a few things on there.
It's interesting to read it all again and see how things have changed.
Funny thing - I talk about a great love/infatuation I had a few years ago while I was in high-school, for someone whose Venus fell in my 12H, and how I still had dreams about them (back in 2014, after years of not seeing them).
Well, get this: I had a dream about them last night, where we were walking side by side, and it's like we both acknowledged that we were once in love and that the love never truly died. At the end of the dream, we faced each other as we were about to go our separate ways, and smiled at each other, and then I told him, "You will always be... special, to me" and hugged him. In my dream he was quite smaller than me (shorter and more frail) and he commented on that, saying something along the lines of, "You are quite tall actually" and I replied, "Love doesn't take into account the looks" or something to that effect. His smile was radiant and genuine, and then he left and I woke up.
Last time we saw each other was 4 years ago, and last time we had any contact was 3 years ago or so. We didn't say goodbye to each other, and actually stopped talking to each other on a rather cold, confused note.
Most of my dreams about him reflected his coldness and distancing; I would dream of him pretending not to see me, or hiding himself from me. And that dream last night was so... liberating. It was like finally, parting ways in a positive way, while not completely "ending" our connection, either. I feel like I will always feel some sort of love or care for that person, regardless if we see each other again or not, and that dream reflected that. I'm glad he was so receptive to it in my dream as well, it's like he and I both "freed" ourselves from the complexity of the feelings we used to have for each other and are now free to go on about our lives, without necessarily having to forget about each other or pretend that we never cared or don't care.
Phew, that is quite a story.
Anyway...
There is now someone else in my life who puts their Venus in my 12H, again, though the aspects aren't the same.
In the case I talked about above, his Venus opposed my Sun and trined my Uranus/Neptune. Things never "materialized".
In my current situation, the person I'm seeing has their Venus squaring my Saturn (*gasp* Yes, big ol' Saturn!) and opposing my Pluto (and widely opposing my Mars).
My feelings for him were rather hazy at first, because we got close very fast and didn't really take the time to get to know each other. The connection was primarily physical in nature, and the emotional and mental parts came later (and are still developing).
There seems to be no unrequited love here, and the feelings are expressed openly; there is little doubt about how each of us feels about the other. However, there is definitely insecurity on my part (I am the 12H person) and sometimes on his part, about how "real" this love is and I am very sensitive to any threats that could undermine our connection (that's probably my Saturn and Pluto being all defensive).
However he also puts his Sun, Mercury, and Mars in my 12H, not only his Venus. It may sound like a disaster, but so far it's been very helpful and healing. (As I said in that thread LeeLoo posted, I am fundamentally very scared of emotional intimacy and all things related to trusting another person with my heart; and here it's like this person is the "push" I needed to move forward and create a bond with someone despite my fears and insecurities.)