posted May 30, 2015 04:59 PM            

I've only calculated a few so I don't know if there are even more of them, but there's:

his Mars quindecile my North Node which is exactly conjunct Proserpina
his Moon quindecile my NN/Proserpina
his Pluto quindecile my Chiron
his Nessus quindecile my Dejanira

The Nessus/Dejanira one struck me as a red flag. And furthermore, he is the same person I mentioned in another thread as having his Algol conjunct my MC (exact) and his Pluto square my Dejanira (exact).

He also has at least two exact quindeciles in his natal chart - Pluto quindecile asteroid Lilith and Saturn quindecile Chiron. (I read somewhere that natal quindeciles activate quindeciles in synastry… or something like that.)

posted May 30, 2015 05:26 PM            

Do you have a relationship that incorporates BDSM or dominance / submission activities? It DOES NOT have to involve sex, by the way. At all. These dynamics simply help build intimacy, trust, and create an emotional bond of a powerful nature, when explored properly.

posted May 30, 2015 07:07 PM            

I'd think that a quindecile between one's DEJA and another's NESSUS would create a powerful -- even profound -- obsession in underlying sexual dynamics.

I'm encouraged that you feel he could earn your submission. That's a step in the right direction.

posted May 31, 2015 06:04 PM            

I suppose this one is so maddening because it's so hard to understand and explain away. I tend to be drawn to individuals who are kind, gentle, and good. Any sign of cruelty or injustice is a major turn-off; I dislike all 'bad boy' archetypes. This man isn't any macho 'bad boy' either, and I'm not saying he's cruel or unjust either. In fact, he may be the sweetest man ever, under his facade: I just don't know him well enough! But something about him seems cold and calculating. Selfish and shallow. He's intelligent and creative, so I know he can't be all shallow, but he seems to have a carefully constructed facade which seems - to me - pretentious, conscious of trying to appear 'cool', and completely ingenuine.

In short, I'm not drawn to his personality at all, and I'm reasonably sure I could never love him, which is why I'm intrigued by my own response to him: it's like my brain says no, my emotional side says no, my romantic/desire nature says no, but something in me on a some inexplicable primal level says YES YES OH GOD YES. And the submissive side he's strongly triggering in me is a complete surprise because, like I said, I could never imagine wanting to be dominated by any other man.

And that's why, intrigued, I turned into astrology to seek an explanation I've been reading up on things and trying to find if there are any 'markers' for this kind of thing in the synastry, because I certainly can't explain it by any rational means.

posted May 31, 2015 09:03 PM            

I think I can explain the attraction. Awful, isn't it? I had a terrible 'primal' attraction to a homicidal personality back in my youth. Alas, the sense to refuse his romantic advances, even at sixteen, but -- whew! There are some dreams back there I'd rather not've had! (And I don't have those sort of dreams besides!)

So let's play l'advocate du diable for the moment, and make the bold assertion that Dejanira, for all her protestations, was nursing a rather bothersome, inappropriate attraction, which Nessus, hardly one for decorum or ethical considerations, latched right onto before either had a chance to even blink.

Ohhh, yes. Primal, indeed. Primality is the best word for it, as it cuts through the social fabric right into the dark heart of sexuality. I once wrote (in college, I believe) how eroticism has no morality; at its most carnal, it cares nothing for a man's relationship with his mother, whether he has a wife, or if he's earning a steady living.

Oh, but we hate to acknowledge that, don't we? That, should we listen to the rhythm of that dark heart, we'd find it beats within the construct of something of a psychopath? Indeed; love is another thing entirely. As is friendship, frankly. Decency, even!

For these, I've found a strong correlation to PRIAPUS (h22) and NYMPHE (875). Now, we can't blame the young god, born of an illicit coupling, for his perpetual, erm ... 'readiness'. Ceridwen once brilliantly brought our attention to his relationship to the Moon's perigee -- when it's closest to the earth and looms the largest. So PRIAPUS, astrologically, is a point of an almost overwhelming desire; an urge to merge in sexual ecstasy. It can be just as emotional as it is sexual -- which is why 'primal' is a good word. When it becomes almost inexplicable; something about them incites something within you, and their hairstyle, eye colour, tone of voice or occupation is meaningless. Physical attraction? No. Emotional? Not that, either. Psychological? Not exactly, but it's closer; almost unconscious. Lurking deep within a place we just don't traverse.

That, to me, is PRIAPUS.

I've found when prominent in men, they're hypersexual. Even deeply emotional, but typically seek to satisfy their overwhelming emotional needs with powerful sexual urges. I've oddly found that PRIAPUS is, on a spectrum, the submissive end, with BML being the dominant.

NYMPHE, on the other hand, is free-spirited, no-holds-barred, sex-positive sexuality. Nothing dark, foreboding, or even intense here. If both are relatively secure in their sexual expression, they can have a lovely time together -- so long as they both know it's just sex. NYMPHE doesn't mind engaging in casual sex; a riveting romp for its own sake. It's not looking for love -- just pleasure.

Where we have NYMPHE, we can freely enjoy sex without 'strings attached', or guilt for doing so. Note that I've said can. Whether or not we do is a horse of a different colour.

posted June 01, 2015 10:28 AM            

Interesting what you say about the dreams you had about the 'homicidal personality', because I first became aware of my strange feelings when this man entered my dreams. I won't go into details for fear of TMI, but let's just say those dreams are very rough, sometimes even to the point of being scary and extreme, and yet they're so intensely satisfying I can't even put it in words. Simply put, they're dreams about a complete loss of control, agency, and identity. So unlike my conscious self that it's laughable. I wonder if it was the same for you.

(Apart from this, I never have 'those sort of dreams', either.)

Anyway, it almost feels like in this dreams the man represents a shadow side of my own mind, but I can't help but be curious. Because I can't help wondering, did my unconscious choose him randomly? Just because he's handsome (but why not any other handsome man that I've had a crush on)? Or is there something 'there', an existing dynamic that would play out in a similar way in real life, if given the chance?

And I wonder if I really do pick up a 'Dom vibe' from him, but there doesn't seem to be any way to verify that, unless I ask him outright, which might be a bit odd Looking at his natal chart, there seems to be a rather interesting merry-go-round involving BML and Priapus: mean BML conjunct Ascendant (exact), Moon square BML/Ascendant (1 degree), Pluto quindecile BML/Ascendant (exact), Pluto conjunct Priapus (a bit over 1 degree), Pluto square Mars (3 degrees). With Nessus square Saturn (1 degree) thrown in, could that mix be why he gives off a 'Dom vibe', even if he has no such inclinations in reality, which I obviously don't know?

(And I suspect he just might, as one of his all-time favourite films is The Night Porter… hmm.)

I didn't even realise it until now, but there's something going on with Priapus in synastry as well. My Priapus is opposite his Moon (exact) and square his Ascendant/BML (exact). His Priapus squares my Dejanira (1 degree), and is quindecile my Chiron (1 degree) and quindecile my Moon (2 degrees, too wide?).

So, going by your theory above, wouldn't that BML-Priapus square be similarly suggestive of dominance/submission as the Nessus-Dejanira quindecile?

posted June 01, 2015 10:32 AM            

I'm curious if 'our kind' really do relate in a different way to each other… being on a similar wavelength. I suspect the man I'm talking about might be an Aspie as well, or at least have some tries. Not only does he give me an 'Aspie vibe' (I seem to be getting a whole lot of vibes from him!) but what I've heard about his childhood is pretty much textbook Asperger's, complete with meltdowns.