posted May 31, 2015 05:22 PM            

He is being so sweet on the phone and we're both being up front about things. .. I've made a commitment to be friends before getting deep in emotionally and I told him so... keeping things above board (see Pluto square Mars and composite sun in the 12th)

I feel conflicted and have been feeling nauseous... I attribute this to my past negative experiences with relationships and I am seeing this relationship as a karmic opportunity to learn about true responsibility to myself and other in relationship no matter whether it manifests as a sexual one. . i am worried about feeling pressure in that area and hoping we are both "evolved" conscious and caring enough to avoid harming each other.

What do you think?

synastry
http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_61gw_02_35_k_p_t_w_hp.76493.14554.gif&res=100

posted May 31, 2015 05:47 PM            

synastry

http://tinypic.com/r/348t83k/8

posted May 31, 2015 06:06 PM            

He says this birth time is the best he can get, his mom was induced and says he came into this world at noon...

posted May 31, 2015 06:10 PM            

thing is I'm on the fence about whether to get romantic with him... I've never taken a relationship slowly at the beginning, it's always all or nothing.

posted May 31, 2015 07:04 PM            

Welcome to LL, for starters.

I'm going to be honest, because I feel that forewarned is forearmed.

Your CHIRON is conjunct his MOON; and thus, this is what we call a 'Chirotic relationship'. It's VERY important to pay attention here now, as I've discovered this can absolutely determine the overall course of a synastry. It doesn't even matter how stellar the other influences are; this can dominate everything.

There's something powerful, magical, even faerie-tale-esque about these interactions. They're instantaneous. The bonding is sudden. There's a 'where have you been all of my life?' kindred spirit vibe. The tendency isn't just to bond quickly; it's almost compulsive. You don't even question it at the time. It just happens!

Alas, midnight does strike. The coach is a pumpkin once more. We awaken from a fever dream to find they've unfriended us and blocked our number. Moved house. And all we had was one tiny spat -- or an argument we thought was fleeting. People fight. It happens. It's normal, actually.

So why have they suddenly cut us completely out of their life? Usually within the span of 24 hours?

Easy come ... easy go? What IS going on with these relationships? But the more important question: MUST it happen? Does it ALWAYS?

Well ...

Unfortunately, the sample size is very small, and the research new, but there's a 90% failure rate of Chirotic relationships, based upon data collected from 8 synastries, in which 7 had bonded immediately (within hours) and ended in estrangement -- also within hours. (Technically, one of the synastries did feature a relationship that lasted approximately 6 months, but resumed years later. It's an outlier, but still somewhat included in the sample.)

So I've become something of a 'believer' in the theory of the Chirotic relationship. I'm not, however, so fatalistic that I believe it MUST end this way, regardless. Perhaps forewarned IS forearmed after all?

That being said, please take care in understanding the nature of this relationship. It can lead to phenomenal healing or terrible heartbreak. They all can, but for the Chirotic relationship, ohh, the wounds are deep.

I'm tempted to combine my two talents in this area -- karmic astrology and psychotherapy -- to write a book on Chirotic relationships. We'll see. The truth is, I'd LOVE to see these survive the intense storms that befall them; to develop the right communication and levels of empathy necessary to weather them.

Perhaps it's a kind of mutual delusion that you've stumbled into a perpetual paradise -- and you both fuel the dream together. We know the old adage 'if it's too good to be true', but we ignore the reality when we're in the throes of it. Oh, we want to believe so desperately we've found it: our bestest bestie; the love of our lives; the kindred spirit for whom we've been searching forever.

But there's always something wrong with the picture, and we don't catch it until it's too late.

It's only after they've made their way into our hearts that we see they're full of self-loathing and don't know how to love us; that they sabotage every friendship and relationship they've ever known, drifting from place to place. They're pathological liars, psychopaths, or just deeply damaged.

But they present themselves as together, even the perfect combination of everything we've ever wanted and needed. Wish-fulfillment. Well, of course they do! How else would we fall so hard or come to love or need them so much? What we need most in these moments, however, is our sense, and we become so bereft of just that!

Anyhow. You get the gist. Take off the rose-coloured glasses and view everything realistically. Be the harshest critic you can be. Find all of the holes; the inconsistencies; everything that doesn't add up or could become a problem. Sounds terribly paranoid, I know, but I can't help but wonder if this could be the best thing in the long run.

Just keep your eyes open. GO SLOW. Rage against the impulse to move as quickly as you want to. I won't say that it isn't as wonderful as it feels. I WILL say that that feeling doesn't last. It's crucial to know that now and approach things with wisdom, caution, and understanding.

posted May 31, 2015 09:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by page one:
You're making a generalisation on Chiron based on 7 synastries?

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Considering most astrologers will make solid declarations based on less than that, my approach is downright cautious. We rarely have the luxury of appropriate sample sizes and have to begin with what we can get.

I highly suggest the research be undertaken, and I have begun it.

posted May 31, 2015 09:08 PM            

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posted May 31, 2015 11:31 PM            

i certainly see him being A++ perfect and am perfectly Scorpio in mercury-y aware of it's fallacy... And I've already identified many of his pitfalls! But as I acknowledge them I acknowledge my own and grow in humility and gentleness--that's the idea anyway. (I hope this is giving you hope re: chironic possibilities of working out).

His South node is definitely conjunct my sun, I think it's one degree off...

I got out of a chironic relationship last year--that was North Node conjunct Chiron and as Ami Anne has written on her website, pain was certainly a theme... It was horrible. I am not going to make the same mistake, being blinded by love and infatuation and believing him to be perfect--he was indeed (in my mind) selfish, awful, immature, and abusive... We are badly matched, anyway... I think he is also wonderful... deserves happiness and gentleness...

I myself am somewhat chironic, perhaps. I have a grand trine in the fire houses involving chiron, if I'm not mistaken? (Do correct me if I'm wrong!) I have tendencies towards going to the depths and coming up with my hands full, so to speak.

posted May 31, 2015 11:44 PM            

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posted June 01, 2015 01:09 AM            

Vajra, you were so helpful and I'm just re reading your wonderful advice here...

quote:

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On the timing question: Taking it slow is actually a very good idea IMO and doesn't have to ruin anything whatsoever. If the connection is for real, he will stick around no matter whether you're friends or lovers, and maybe even value you all the more for first wanting to get to know each other as friends only. What's the need to rush it? The more you see of each other before jumping into a love relationship, the better the chances you can actually build something of lasting value (says someone who used to jump into everything much too quickly earlier and has learned patience over the years). No wonder good things are happening for you, with that Jupiter transit over MC and through the 10th house. Enjoy it! And best of luck with the guy! Gotta go for today.

*edit* Haha, did you see that? It's your composite chart's Saturn return! Some coincidence...

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