posted June 01, 2015 07:13 PM            

Of course I'm little better; also an asexual schizoid, but I embarked upon a formal education in human sexual psychology early, so that my NYMPHE (875) conjunct MENTOR (3451) in my 11H is understandable. Especially also conjunct NESSUS-CERES, as I've developed a forceful but nurturing approach as a sex therapist, dealing with everything from trauma to alternative sexuality (kink). My specialisation has been BDSM and consensual kink since 2009. (Considering I'm also a trained criminal profiler and studied non consensual sexual behaviours and paraphilias, it's a useful distinction.)

But then I stumbled upon his MENTOR conjunct ALGOL, and took note of a stellium of SCIENTIA-FANATICA conjunct JUNO on REGULUS. As this is conjunct my ISIS (1°) and our composite SUN, I can't help but take notice. We also have MENTOR-NNODE on BETELGEUSE in the 8H.

It just seems to be ... unfolding somehow. But I feel as if I've located a key, but there's no actual door in sight. I'm bewildered.

Our sexual relationship has followed no conventional course, as, frankly, asexuals engaging in sexual relationship have no guide, no precedent, no ... instruction or means of mentorship. There are no books, no classes, no lectures or workshoppes; no TED talk or YouTube videos. There's just ... nothing. Some days, I feel I'm Sisyphus; others, that I'm swimming in shark-infested, uncharted waters. Here be dragons.

And, hey, I put some lines in there this time! For those who like 'em.

Your insight is appreciated. I'm just flummoxed as to the approach to take here. I fear that I'm potentially missing something crucial, even a pivotal turning point, and I need objectivity. I'm far too close to it.

I am not being intentionally cagey with details. I will gladly provide them for those who enquire.

posted June 02, 2015 02:42 PM            

Or perhaps it isn't so OT, after all. There may be a deeper connection between people who share these traits - a deeper level of familiarity and understanding. I don't know anything about most asteroids (and even of those I've read anything about, I know precious little), but I was immediately struck by your boyfriend's Klio/Eros being in conjunction with your Pallas.

This might just be because Pallas Athena has always been my favourite Greek goddess, ever since I was a history nerd as a small child But I thought of everything she represents… war, yes, but *contained* violence, used with wisdom, justice, and rational thought. A civilising, educating and educated force: a goddess who directs your courage towards rational heroism, not recklessness.

posted June 02, 2015 03:44 PM            

And are you conducting the research? Because I would gladly put my relationship chart up here for that as well

posted June 02, 2015 06:36 PM            

I agree. It does seem like a unique opportunity, given the fact we're both statistical outliers. We both suspect that we even have a different sexual response cycle than sexually-oriented individuals do. God, I'd love to know if this falls in line with other asexual schizoids, but, erm, we tend to be few and far between. Of the 1% that are asexual, I'm going to gather a high per centage are also kinky, given the preliminary research I've done (all self-report, anonymous, but with verifiable age, gender, and location). And then I have to ask, what's the likelihood that the differences are due to being schizophrenic-spectrum rather than asexual? Sometimes, I can't figure if we're such a tiny sliver of the population as to be completely statistically insignificant, or if the fact that no research has been done in this area at all is already unfathomable.

And I do agree that my PALLAS conjunct his EROS/KLIO is almost eerie.

He had been completely celibate for 20 years. He 'dated' a voice-actress for 3 months in the latter '90s. He described the relationship as his essentially taking her to dinner, shows, and events. Never so much as a kiss. 3 months. Good lord, man! I understand that he 'didn't want to be forward', but I had to explain that a sexual woman is going to make her intentions known in less than a month! He was very disappointed to overhear her tell a man in whom she was interested romantically, that 'they were just friends'. Ohhh, dear. I can certainly see why he'd not bothered with dating before that, nor after it.

We both have PALLAS in each other's 8H as well -- and in each other's NYMPHE signs, which I find interesting as well.

But KLIO conjunct EROS?

William-bloody-Masters had KLIO conjunct FANATICA, parallel PRIAPUS-PANACEA. Indeed, he became known as a fanatical medical researcher whose area of focus was human sexuality. (All 5H, by the bye.) That stellium was conjunct Johnson's LUST. She had her own KLIO conjunction -- with DIONYSUS. (His LUST was conjunct her EUREKA -- 8H. Gotta love that.)

Perhaps I should simply study EROS in greater depth here. It's tricky, though, being in a stellium with his MOON-BML and NYMPHE, in his 5H, overlaying into my 8H. Then, of course, with my PALLAS right there.

Not to mention his VERTEX-MERC falling on my NESSUS-CERES-NYMPHE-MENTOR.

I natally have my EUREKA with SAPIENTA-BML-DEJANIRA. Further intriguing, his PREY is conjunct this.

posted June 02, 2015 06:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Selenite:
I am a little confused - do you want the relationship's charts to be used for studying BDSM and therapeutic sex in astrology?

And are you conducting the research? Because I would gladly put my relationship chart up here for that as well

Also- I think since you already specialize in this, then you would be prime research material. And your husband does too?

---

Sorry about the confusion. At the time, I was strictly trying to understand whether or not my synastry really denotes a successful research relationship -- of a certain kind.

My husband is an entrepreneur. I've taught him a great deal in the field of alternative sexuality, and he's assisted my educational efforts, but this is the synastry of myself and my boyfriend.

When we began a sexual relationship (after lengthy consideration) in December 2013, it quickly became a deconstruction of sexual intercourse. There were just so many questions we had, for which there weren't any answers. Trying to figure it out together, in realtime, so to speak, seemed the only way. It was great for the first year. But then things became ... complicated.

My husband couldn't really understand what we're doing -- or why we even bother. He'd describe us 'two aliens trying to be human'. After that year, we didn't feel too successful. I don't think either of us wanted to stop the sexual relationship -- but we couldn't find a legitimate reason to continue it, either. It's ... well ... complicated.

The longer we don't engage in any kind of physical or sexual intimacy, the greater impact it has on our interactions. We can feel the difference; the distance that grows, despite our politesse and friendly warmth. Hard to describe, but it's there.

I think the 'sexual chemistry' we have is of that truly primal, goes to the depths of everything, and isn't at all superficial nature.

And yet, when you have two people who are unable to express themselves in any 'normal' sexual manner ... it becomes extremely frustrating.

Anyhow. I've been trying to decide how, and what sort of design, I'd use for this type of research.

posted June 02, 2015 11:06 PM            

For starters, I have primary vaginismus. When I first attempted sexual intercourse at age 22, it was completely unsuccessful. I wouldn't experience full penetrative sex until age 26. It was exciting! But, as of yet, unfulfilling. It was more as if I was eager to no longer be a virgin than I was really enjoying sex. While there's been a few instances of sex I enjoyed (one with my husband) it's, on the whole, dissatisfying.

At 32, my costar and I had become close friends since our meeting (for the show in developing) in 2010. We attempted dating before I got married (pragmatic reasons) and, after a hiatus (in which I tried to resolve my outstanding karma with my twin ray) of a couple of years, resumed our relationship in 2013. As he's been close with my family since the beginning, (he and my stepdaughter have a wonderful rapport) he attended Thanksgiving with my husband and I to his ex-girlfriend's family, whom we thoroughly enjoy, and spend some holidays.

Let's just say my boyfriend and I (whom I was only newly dating then) were strangely hot gossip. My husband relayed that his ex -- and her family! -- were commenting on how we make a lovely match, but we're almost plucked from an Austen novel, or the Victorian era. She later told me directly that I ought to give up any notion of our having a sexual relationship. Funny, as at that particular time, it was not a can of worms I wanted opened.

Moral of the story? Don't 'dare' an Aries MOON-EROS.

In his usual matter-of-fact way, he suggested we begin a sexual relationship. I'd not been too explicit about my issue, and so he was only vaguely aware. Not to mention his own great inexperience and our both being asexual. So I feel the circumstances really did lend themselves to our undertaking things in such a straightforward, rather clinical manner. Not that we didn't have plenty of fun; we did. If you can't laugh, then what are you doing?

While we learnt quite a lot, we never got the memo on that whole 'passion' thing. My husband would always trifle with us over the terminology. He'd call it sex, (or 'worse' -- you can imagine; it's vulgar) we'd call it intercourse. We were engaging in a kind of therapeutic relationship together; he ... couldn't grasp that.

Also, it begs mentioning that I don't think the lack of passion or 'feeling of sex' is intentional. Being asexual, he's never gotten the gist or seen the point of having sex. He's often felt shut out of some grand thing the whole world is in on but him. And, well, he came to learn, me. Though my issues are different. I feel anxiety to the point of avoidance and 'lock down', whereas he just can't quite feel in it. Or about it.

posted June 03, 2015 12:43 PM            

Here's a method that might work for you.

Generate both your PRIAPUS (or any other asteroid you feel relates more to the issue) Persona Charts, make a composite out of them and compare its VERTEX Chart version to each natal. Why ? The VX positions will show what, in your sexual relationship, struck you both in an unexpected way, and how they did. If you want to know what it's teaching you, for instance, which would probably be more appropriate than the VX energies to answer your question concerning therapeutic sex research, the same thing can be done with a, say, MENTOR Chart. (Move the cMENTOR to 0°00' Aries and the whole chart along with it.)

Look for real hits to the natals, and lots of them. Perhaps connections to the NNODEs will be especially telling in your case, too. If you don't find that many hits, try using different asteroids in your charts (for Personas and for APs). I've found that this method works just like a regular synastry comparison between tropical geocentric composites and their corresponding separate natals : the more hits to either of the natals, the more that person is affected by the relationship (and, in this case, strongly influenced by the asteroids' energies).

It works, trust me. I was amazed by the number of exact conjunctions I had with the VX Chart version of our cVALENTINE Personas. (Huge stellium in LEO-VIR-LIB, just to give you an idea.)

posted June 04, 2015 01:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Sorry about the confusion. At the time, I was strictly trying to understand whether or not my synastry really denotes a successful research relationship -- of a certain kind.

My husband is an entrepreneur. I've taught him a great deal in the field of alternative sexuality, and he's assisted my educational efforts, but this is the synastry of myself and my boyfriend.

When we began a sexual relationship (after lengthy consideration) in December 2013, it quickly became a deconstruction of sexual intercourse. There were just so many questions we had, for which there weren't any answers. Trying to figure it out together, in realtime, so to speak, seemed the only way. It was great for the first year. But then things became ... complicated.

My husband couldn't really understand what we're doing -- or why we even bother. He'd describe us 'two aliens trying to be human'. After that year, we didn't feel too successful. I don't think either of us wanted to stop the sexual relationship -- but we couldn't find a legitimate reason to continue it, either. It's ... well ... complicated.

The longer we don't engage in any kind of physical or sexual intimacy, the greater impact it has on our interactions. We can feel the difference; the distance that grows, despite our politesse and friendly warmth. Hard to describe, but it's there.

I think the 'sexual chemistry' we have is of that truly primal, goes to the depths of everything, and isn't at all superficial nature.

And yet, when you have two people who are unable to express themselves in any 'normal' sexual manner ... it becomes extremely frustrating.

Anyhow. I've been trying to decide how, and what sort of design, I'd use for this type of research.

But as an astrologer, I'm always curious, so feel free to post yours, Selenite.

---

Ohh ok, I think I see now. You want to figure out where to start with the research? I think Chiron has a lot to do with it, at least in my personal experience. But that may already be obvious to you.

posted June 04, 2015 01:34 PM            

I think BDSM became a feature due to our being intensely intellectual. (I'm an alternative sex therapist besides.) Due to my particular issues, I feel he correctly identified that issues with trust were most outstanding, and you find yourself very quickly in that arena when exploring such dynamics.

@astra7, indeed. What's rather funny is how masochists fall into a few different categories. There are those who swear that it IS pleasure, as you've said, as well as plenty who have their psychological reasons for the experience of the pain, and others still who engage in it for the endorphin release. I've had clients from all walks, you might say. Male and female. It's fascinating.

posted June 04, 2015 01:38 PM            

I know! I love Athena, to be honest. I had an aunt Athena long ago. I wonder if it was just a traditional naming convention or she really 'lived up to her name'.

It took me awhile to decide to identify as asexual. Just too much of a headache otherwise, always explaining myself, or feeling as if I have to justify why I don't feel X or want Y. It's just easier. Plus, when you have a husband and a boyfriend, and that bit of information gets revealed, it becomes interpreted as 'I'm available' rather than being in a very specific arrangement that is NOT accepting 'further applicants' thank-you!

posted June 04, 2015 04:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Thanks, Pel. Not a bad idea.

I think BDSM became a feature due to our being intensely intellectual. (I'm an alternative sex therapist besides.) Due to my particular issues, I feel he correctly identified that issues with trust were most outstanding, and you find yourself very quickly in that arena when exploring such dynamics.

@astra7, indeed. What's rather funny is how masochists fall into a few different categories. There are those who swear that it IS pleasure, as you've said, as well as plenty who have their psychological reasons for the experience of the pain, and others still who engage in it for the endorphin release. I've had clients from all walks, you might say. Male and female. It's fascinating.

The most interesting thus far must be the 'crossed-wires' explanation for masochism, which neurologically lends the normally painful stimulus to be interpreted as pleasure. Talking with such a masochist, you'd swear it MUST be at the neurological level. It's really fascinating.

---

posted June 04, 2015 10:34 PM            

PRIAPUS PERSONAE

posted June 04, 2015 10:48 PM            

SUN/MOON=PRIAPUS (07° SCORPIO)
VENUS/MARS=SUN (19° ARIES)

posted June 07, 2015 01:04 PM            

Can you post his VX placement, or his place of birth please ?