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Author
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Topic: Connection I cannot seem to get over!
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MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 05, 2015 06:30 PM
  
Maybe it is Venus entering shadow or I am plain crazy, but for the past couple of weeks I have been obsessing over one of my exes (more so than usual). I cannot seem to be able to forget about him.
I've tried everything. I've even moved countries, made new friends, had huge crush on/flirted with an amazing Leo man, but nope ... as soon as I wake up in the morning/go to bed at night, he's the first and last thing on my mind. This is driving me nuts because I'm not even contemplating contacting him. We haven't spoken in ages and I'm perfectly fine! Yet, I'm still obsessed with him. I check his FB daily and I always smile whenever I hear or see his name somewhere. My friend calls him the "benchmark" because I judge other guys based on him! It's as though he cast a spell on me. I never had a single problem forgetting guys before and after him. But he is something else  I hate it. Truly because he's stuck in my memory against my will. What on earth is it with this connection that makes it so "unforgettable"? I wonder if I should see a shrink! What could have been the extent of his interest towards me? Was it unrequited love? Dude was so wishy washy, it was confusing. I want to close this chapter by getting an understanding of what's going on ... I've tried everything, I'm so desperate to forget about him He's been haunting my brain for two years and a half. Thank you! He is on the outside. 
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LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 13175
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted July 05, 2015 06:34 PM
Hi 
I believe this is actually due to your natal chart, and not a certain person, and I am not saying this for you to take it wrongly, I am a Plutonian myself. The truth is it is us who need to fight and balance our tendency to obsess over things or people, the other doesn't play a major role in this; actually, the other could be anyone. I suspect you will get over this guy when you meet someone new ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala Summer Readings IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 05, 2015 06:53 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Hi
I believe this is actually due to your natal chart, and not a certain person, and I am not saying this for you to take it wrongly, I am a Plutonian myself. The truth is it is us who need to fight and balance our tendency to obsess over things or people, the other doesn't play a major role in this; actually, the other could be anyone. I suspect you will get over this guy when you meet someone new [/QUOTE) Thanks LeeLoo. I actually did meet someone new and as soon as he left the picture I reverted back to obsessing over this guy. The new guy was much better on every aspect; I can't even compare him to this man. A thousand times better but I kept thinking of this past flame. I've met plenty of other guys. The connection I had with him was unique though even though he was a terrible individual. I'm not interested in being with him in any way but I still obsess. It makes no sense. It's not like he ditched me 6 months ago. We're getting close to two years and it wasn't even a full blown relationship. Sure I obsess over things but I get bored easily due to my Gemini placements so I move on after 6 months tops regardless of what happened. I cut people off easily and never look back. This is annoying to be honest. I know he didn't like me so I am certainly not trying to fish for anything. He said he was only interested in my body so I have my answer right there. Its more about potential placements for unrequited love and such. Face wall ... IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 13175
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted July 05, 2015 07:44 PM
This synastry is what I call a focal synastry. It has two-three very tight conjunctions, but no connections aside from those. It's not relational, it is mostly event-oriented, a rite of passage synastry. It usually points to transitory relationships in our lives, people facilitating a certain event/ a rite of passage or a certain lesson in our life. Here, with Venus conj NN tightly in the 8th house in Aqua, one of the possible lessons for you is learning to let go of things/people no longer useful for you, holding you back. Learning to love in a different way. In the 8th house, we burn everything unnecessary in our psyche, everything preventing us from experiencing true intimacy and sharing. 8th house in Aqua in connection to Venus points to learning the lesson of detachment in love, learning to have an orientation towards the future in one's emotional attachments, burning obsession out. It is a Phoenix house, the 8th. As a heavy Scorpio, this is one of your life's major challenges in general ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala Summer Readings IP: Logged |
theunknown
Knowflake Posts: 2105
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 06, 2015 02:05 AM
Saturn conjunct desc might be another reason.... IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 02:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by theunknown:
Saturn conjunct desc might be another reason....
Thanks! I don't have his exact birth time, so this chart is to be taken with a grain of salt. So there was no "real" connection at all? Was it all in my head? Wow. IP: Logged |
theunknown
Knowflake Posts: 2105
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 06, 2015 02:32 AM
His Saturn conjunct your descendant ... Unless your birth time is wrong too..,, but Saturn doesn't make aspects otherwise so.... you are kinda overly identifying with the Venus-node and the trine between your Scorpio stellium and his sunIP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 02:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by theunknown:
His Saturn conjunct your descendant ... Unless your birth time is wrong too..,, but Saturn doesn't make aspects otherwise so.... you are kinda overly identifying with the Venus-node and the trine between your Scorpio stellium and his sun
My birth time is correct (obviously). I used 12 pm for his. IP: Logged |
bumblebee
Knowflake Posts: 248
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 06, 2015 04:21 AM
I think you should contact him. Just to say hello. I think current transtits - Jupiter and venus Rx in leo and square to Saturn RX in scorpio - perfect time to reconnect with him with purpose to conclude everything and move on. Remember me from you "soul uninon" thread? I did contacted my scorpio - it seem he wanted it and I made a move. I think it's time to clean up all the dust left from burning feelings, tr. Saturn in last degrees in scorpio - perfect. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5017
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted July 06, 2015 05:01 AM
Wow, a lot of Karmic aspects!
His Sun conjuncts your Karma for one, and course your destinn/NN conjuncting his Venus which was already pointed out. But here's the big one to me...your Sun/Venus/Pluto stellium in 5H trines his Sun will naturally make him an ideal romantic interest.
Oh, and that Chiron-ASC aspect.. I'm experiencing the same thing with someone right now (his Chiron squaring my ASC) and to ME it means that this person is able to tap into your very soul and expose your most painful wounds and heal them. Painful process, but is there a happy ending? I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
Again! I'm experiencing Moon-Ceres with the same person (My moon trines his Ceres), you feel safe in his presence which definitely creates that clingy effect.
His Mars and Saturn in your 7H - a very stifling attraction on your part.
Oh and of course his Venus in your 8H - i think it's like Venus conjunct Pluto but only (or mostly) the 8H person feels it.IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 05:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonfish:
Wow, a lot of Karmic aspects!
His Sun conjuncts your Karma for one, and course your destinn/NN conjuncting his Venus which was already pointed out. But here's the big one to me...your Sun/Venus/Pluto stellium in 5H trines his Sun will naturally make him an ideal romantic interest.
Oh, and that Chiron-ASC aspect.. I'm experiencing the same thing with someone right now (his Chiron squaring my ASC) and to ME it means that this person is able to tap into your very soul and expose your most painful wounds and heal them. Painful process, but is there a happy ending? I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
Again! I'm experiencing Moon-Ceres with the same person (My moon trines his Ceres), you feel safe in his presence which definitely creates that clingy effect..so far it seems more so from the moon person.
Wow! Thank you very much! At the time, I indeed thought he was my "ideal" match. Now, not so much. I've met so many guys since, this "ideal" has faded and I no longer have one (also because he crushed my expectations of this "ideal"). He sure did expose the flaws I didn't even know I had ... It was raw and painful. I feel as though this "encounter" helped me grow in a major way. I'm a completely different individual as a result of this "short lived fling". I also view romantic encounters in a different light, lighter. He told me he was only interested in me physically but not "emotionally/mentally", is this accurate? Or was he just being mean because I didn't feel ready to sleep with him?
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Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5017
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted July 06, 2015 05:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MineAgain:
Wow! Thank you very much!At the time, I indeed thought he was my "ideal" match. Now, not so much. I've met so many guys since, this "ideal" has faded and I no longer have one (also because he crushed my expectations of this "ideal"). He sure did expose the flaws I didn't even know I had ... It was raw and painful. I feel as though this "encounter" helped me grow in a major way. I'm a completely different individual as a result of this "short lived fling". He told me he was only interested in me physically but not "emotionally/mentally", is this accurate? Or was he just being mean because I didn't feel ready to sleep with him?
Oh sorry, I edited more in just in case you wanna take a look.
Hmm, I think his cmt came from his lilith conjuncting your Sun/Venus/Pluto. That would make him sexually attracted to you..but in a primal, animalistic way. So is it accurate? Yes. But was he also just doing it to be mean? I think so.
Here's the thing, when your important planets/asteroids are making all the aspects to the person's Sun, the most the Sun person can do is appreciate it since all they're really able to provide you is there ego. While you the planet/asteroid person are stuck with all the love (Venus), obsession (Pluto), drive (Mars), and Karma that this person can not give you in return. So just something to look at in future Synastry charts IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 13175
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted July 06, 2015 06:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MineAgain:
He told me he was only interested in me physically but not "emotionally/mentally", is this accurate? Or was he just being mean because I didn't feel ready to sleep with him?
That's an ugly thing to say to someone, I hope you are aware of it and never accept someone who tells you this.
Based on the synastry, he was probably honest it is a very weak synastry, apart from what I said, the focal contacts.
There are I think 7 unaspected planets in this synastry, and those that receive aspects receive only 1 or 2, such as your Mars sq his Sun, which was probably an aspect of physical attraction, but mostly on your side. His Mars probably likes an Aries or Libra Venus.
The Sun/Mars sq and the Venus/Lilith conjunction show it was probably a carnal fascination for him. These two aspects are hot when there is an actual synastry, connections, otherwise, they give only the desire to sleep with the person (man's Lilith on woman's Venus) ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala Summer Readings IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 06:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
That's an ugly thing to say to someone, I hope you are aware of it and never accept someone who tells you this.
Based on the synastry, he was probably honest it is a very weak synastry, apart from what I said, the focal contacts.
Thank you all your help LeeLoo You're right. I deserve better than this. It took me a year and a half to realize: "Girl, he told you: The only thing that's reciprocated is the physical attraction". I got some kind of odd wake up call during last week's full moon. I had completely forgotten about this episode until last week. I was so into him, it didn't even hurt me when he said it. I suddenly got reminded of it and I believe it was the cataclyst that is going to help me move on for good. At least he was honest even if it was mean and I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Men! (tripe facepalm). IP: Logged |
Septembergirl
Knowflake Posts: 327
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted July 06, 2015 10:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
That's an ugly thing to say to someone, I hope you are aware of it and never accept someone who tells you this.
Based on the synastry, he was probably honest it is a very weak synastry, apart from what I said, the focal contacts.
There are I think 7 unaspected planets in this synastry, and those that receive aspects receive only 1 or 2, such as his Mars sq your Sun, which was probably an aspect of physical attraction, but mostly on your side. His Mars probably likes an Aries or Libra Venus.
The Sun/Mars sq and the Venus/Lilith conjunction show it was probably a carnal fascination for him. These two aspects are hot when there is an actual synastry, connections, otherwise, they give only the desire to sleep with the person (man's Lilith on woman's Venus)
Is his mars squaring her sun or vice versa? His chart is on the outside. I'm new at reading charts, but it looks to me like it's her Mars squaring his sun. Correct me if I'm wrong because I probably don't know what I'm doing. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 13175
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted July 06, 2015 10:43 AM
no, you're right, it's her Mars, it's just a typo...my explanation was for girl mars squaring guy's sun ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala Summer Readings IP: Logged |
ail221
Moderator Posts: 6191
From: Hanging Gardens of Babylon
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted July 06, 2015 10:47 AM
You probably feel comforted by him based on your moon on his ceres, I think I see a your Venus/Sun/Pluto on his vesta trine that could be where the devotion is coming from.I would like to see where lilith 1181, true lilith and lust are located in this synastry. IP: Logged |
Septembergirl
Knowflake Posts: 327
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted July 06, 2015 11:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
no, you're right, it's her Mars, it's just a typo...my explanation was for girl mars squaring guy's sun
The only reason I even looked closer was because I have an issue with a guy and his Mars squares my sun. His sun is trine my Mars, though. I was worried what you said may apply to my situation, that was why I looked closer to examine it. lol
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sunflower-moon
Knowflake Posts: 235
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 06, 2015 01:59 PM
I think it may be that you saw him as an "ideal mate" at some point in time and he never seemed to reciprocate those sentiments. I think it's natural to wonder why a relationship/connection didn't work out or last, especially if there wasn't any closure. I've noticed that seems to be the case a lot more with people who have fixed sign placements and with your stellium in Scorpio, it's no wonder you've fixated on that specific connection! My best friend has all her personal planets in Taurus and Leo and she 100% obsesses over relationships if there's no "end of relationship" conversation. If she gets the conversation, she's absolutely fine, she just needs to really understand/process the ending. Plus, I think Pluto has been transiting around your DSC for the last couple years and will continue to for a couple more, so perhaps that has something to do with it as well? IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 02:34 PM
Thank you all for your help, truly!It opened my eyes to the reality of a situation I was looking at with rose-tinted glasses. Wishful thinking, I suppose. Yes, he was indeed someone I regarded as "my ideal mate". That's literally what crossed my mind when I first met him. For years and years, I had been picturing my "perfect soulmate" and for whatever reason, this "soulmate" looked and had the same interests/background as this guy. He treated me poorly (cancelled dates on me by sending unapologetic texts in the middle of the night, disappeared, reappared, called me "slow" and "ghetto", told me he was only physically interested in me and then disappeared). The worst part of it all is this liar told me he had never clicked with someone the way we did (our first dated lasted 8-9 hours, we initially went for drinks). Then he switched his tone completely when I declined sex and told me my only asset is that I "so damn hot". Then he disappeared on me and I never heard from him again. He wasn't looking beyond my "body" and I was a fool to believe his smooth talker speech. I thought he liked me too. I didn't date for about a year after this and I met this amazing Leo man (he's such a catch) but I was so cold to him to due my experience with this Pisces. He scared me for good. If only I had never met him The worst part is when someone "pretends" to be interested and then drops you the way he did me. Not to mention he had told me he believed in love for the both of us two days prior. This is why I can't move on from this nightmare. IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 4381
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 06, 2015 03:07 PM
I can relate and feel for you because I went through the same thing. I was helplessly in love with a guy for a long time and spent three years crying at night and wishing he would be with me all the time.. It was pretty bad. But now it has been 8 years since we met, and what helped me to get over him was meeting my ex bf who I met 5 years ago. I didn't instantly fall in love with my ex bf but it took about two months to realize we were in love with each other and spent two years together and those two years are enough to fill an lifetime due to the true uncondional love that manifested between us. I realized that my ex bf was much better than the other guy in looks and emotional development and that the other guy was just not capable of true love like I am. That was the simple case. It turns out that he was a learning experience that I had been rewarded for later and it was a true test. Before I met my ex bf I prayed for like two hours for God to bring someone into my life and he did! And he got jealous of my ex bf and he knew that he and I were in love. But he still couldn't be in a real relationship due to his own issues.So looking back I still will always care about the original guy and we still talk here and there, but it wasn't meant to be. It was just past life karma and I owed him! Always remember that this energy you feel for this guy didn't just develop out of nowhere. It came from someplace and one day he is going to feel the same thing you have.. Because you have karma with him and until it is healed and released it will keep following you both. IP: Logged |
page one
Knowflake Posts: 523
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted July 06, 2015 03:17 PM
Plus check out the notorious Moon-Venus opp, with his Venus on your NN and his Moon on your SN and Chiron. Ouch.IP: Logged |
MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 03:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by page one:
Plus check out the notorious Moon-Venus opp, with his Venus on your NN and his Moon on your SN and Chiron. Ouch.
What does this mean in less technical terms? I'm terrible at this IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 2373
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 06, 2015 03:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MineAgain:
What does this mean in less technical terms? I'm terrible at this
Moon- Venus hard aspect in a man is the Madonna- Wh*re syndrome. Men with this aspect can never find all the qualities they are looking in one woman.
If they like a girl for their personality, they are not attracted to them sexually. If they want them sexually, then they are not attracted to their personality. It is complicated.
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MineAgain
Knowflake Posts: 1635
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted July 06, 2015 03:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
Moon- Venus hard aspect in a man is the Madonna- Wh*re syndrome. Men with this aspect can never find all the qualities they are looking in one woman.
If they like a girl for their personality, they are not attracted to them sexually. If they want them sexually, then they are not attracted to their personality. It is complicated.
Thank you! I remember him telling me this. He told me he dated girls he wasn't attracted to because he liked their personalities and dumped them later on. He dated attractive girls he wasn't interested in. Shallow individual. He admitted to it on our first date. But how does it relate to my placements (Venus, NN and Chiron)? IP: Logged |
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