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Author
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Topic: Compatibility
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Bango13
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 02:31 PM
  
Hi, I am new here to these forums and I am trying to understand these charts. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me and a week later moved to Philadelphia and started living with a guy she has known since high school. I personally think she is moving way to fast and going strictly off lust. He was her first crush. He had feeling for her to but he chose another girl before going to college. It is driving me crazy because I don't think they will make a good couple and he will eventually hurt her. I checked cafe astrology compatibility for both of them at it came out to be a 36%. From many years of observation I can say cafe astrology's compatibility calculator is pretty accurate and gives a good estimate what a relationship will be like. Having said that, I wanted to ask another source just to see how accurate that number really is. Please tell me if they are good together based off each of their natal aspects and the synastry between them. I also put my chart to see if I am a better match and to see if she will even start missing me based off of it. These are all based off unknown times so I know it wont be 100% accurate but I just need a good estimate. I would really appreciate the help from any of you, Thank you.Hers
His
Mine
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starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1702
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 19, 2015 04:53 PM
i'd say she obviously has a type and picks men who match her quite well, actually. both you and the old/new bf have placements that would be strong for romance/relationships. all three of you are quite similar, and definitely earth-influenced. you and her are slightly more similar, however, and perhaps he offers a bit more for her in terms of growth. the thing that stands out in his natal is the taurus mars, it works well with her own sun and venus. with you having venus in aqua, paired with the sag mars she might not feel as stable with you as this guy could maker her feel. if she was looking for marriage and commitment i'd pair her with that guy first. since you don't know his birth time they could also have house overlays that would add to what they have going on. just imo.IP: Logged |
Bango13
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 05:31 PM
So there is no hope? Will she ever miss me? Cafe astrology says that they have mars square pluto and double mercury square mars. I have been reading those are really bad aspects. Is this true going based off these charts? Sorry I am really hurting that I lost her and trying to make sense of everything. Also, is there another way to get a more accurate reading without the times?IP: Logged |
BeTrue77
Newflake Posts: 21
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted July 19, 2015 05:31 PM
Hi Banjo,I am sorry to hear about your breakup. It sounds as though it has been a very painful experience for you, which is certainly understandable since you were together for three years. I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question that may be a bit off-topic. Looking at your chart, I couldn't help but notice that transiting Pluto is currently conjunct your natal Sun and opposite your natal Chiron. Have you researched that particular transit and the effect that it is having on your life? My understanding is that, given your natal horoscope, transiting Pluto is bound to shake things up in your life. Perhaps the break up of your relationship is a part of that larger pattern? Just a thought to consider. Sometimes for me, recognizing these larger archetypal energies at work in my life can help me to take difficult events a bit less personally. (((( HUGS )))) IP: Logged |
Vajra
Moderator Posts: 1141
From: Europe
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 19, 2015 06:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bango13:
So there is no hope? Will she ever miss me? Cafe astrology says that they have mars square pluto and double mercury square mars. I have been reading those are really bad aspects. Is this true going based off these charts? Sorry I am really hurting that I lost her and trying to make sense of everything. Also, is there another way to get a more accurate reading without the times?
Hi Bango13, welcome! Regarding your inquiry - look….I'm sorry you're hurting, it's very understandable that you're trying to make sense of this with the help of astrology, and if it helps you cope, that's of course a good thing. But given the fact that she already moved on to the next relationship, and that she knows the guy from high school and he's thus not some new fling…I'd say it would perhaps be wise for you to accept for now the reality that she's indeed gone by her own choice, and not to cling to the idea that she might one day come back, for your own sake. There is no logic or mathematical formula in existence that can tell you with certainty that someone will be back, or when, or that two people are indeed a better match than two others and realize it too, and act on it. It's not so rare that people will even choose the person who is objectively speaking not the better partner for them, for various psychological reasons, immaturity not the least important. Looking back, many people in my age range (late 30s to mid-40s) say they were completely unable to choose good partners in their early dating career and had to learn it through trial and error. So, unfortunately, it's not as easy as calculating the best compatibility score and expecting reality to conform to that. I'm truly sorry but that's how it seems to be very often.  The problem with not accepting her departure is that it can be very draining and damaging to one's health to kinda sit around waiting for someone to return when that person has no intention to do so, and to fix one's thoughts upon the new couple and watching their every move on social media etc., as many people do in such situations. If you were my friend in RL, I would strongly advise you to force your mind away from her, to cut your losses, and encourage you to try and start something new and interesting in your life that will occupy your mind, no matter what it is - maybe even date around a bit and meet new people, so that if and when she should indeed return one day, you will be in a balanced state (instead of longing for her presence like a junkie on cold turkey) and able to make an informed decision whether you even want her back in your life or not. If you continue doing what you seem to be doing now, however (mining astro data for clues, that is) you will not be able to move on as easily, and likely stay hooked much longer than is actually good for you. Just my 2 cents, of course. I see from the charts you're all still rather young, so please believe a middle-aged person that no matter how awful you might feel right now over this whole thing, it's very likely that this feeling won't last forever, and by actively taking steps to help your heart and mind recover by withdrawing your attention from her and the new guy, you can overcome it. The sooner you do that, the better for you. In any case, best wishes IP: Logged |
EmGem
Knowflake Posts: 577
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 07:46 PM
Bango13, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup 
I personally believe that the only way to deal with the pain of a loss like this is to honour what you feel and go through it, accepting what you feel, giving yourself time. That will be the only way to actually get 'through' the pain and realise that you won't die - as dramatic as that sounds. It will strengthen you. I don't believe in forcing your mind away. Yes distractions are good, in terms of those whereby you do things that sustain and nourish your life, however small they may be. E.g. having a cup of coffee with a friend. But I would look at why this is affecting you so much, possibly even seek counselling if that is an option for you. Then once you are stronger and working on nourishing yourself and your life, you will attract people that deserve to be with you.IP: Logged |
Bango13
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 09:03 PM
I completely understand what you all are saying and it is helping. I have been all over the internet these past couple of weeks trying to make sense of it all. I mean she was my best friend, the girl I was going to ask to marry. And finally when I get a good job to help support her she ditches me for someone better. It is absolutely devastating to my soul and have been trying to pick up the pieces of who I am. Nothing interests me anymore and it all feels so empty. Every morning is battle to get up because it is just a rush of memories of our time together. Work is no picnic with stressful 12 hour days in a lab. It just seems like I am in a constant loop of bad feelings. I guess you all are right when saying I am trying to find hope in the relationship through astrology. I have always been interested in synastry and thought we matched well. I thought with some luck she will see that I was better for her even though I don't give the impression of stability. I really am very hard working. Having said that, I am not starting to see that this is all final and she will never love me again. Even though I might be a better match, it doesn't matter, she has made her decision. I just wish she could have seen how much I tried for her towards the end. What I am doing now is trying stay completely away with no contact, and deactivated all my social media. I guess I need more soul searching. Also, BeTrue77, what does that pluto transit mean? Is it currently a bad point in my life?IP: Logged |
BeTrue77
Newflake Posts: 21
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted July 19, 2015 09:30 PM
Dear Banjo,Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship, and, in the meantime, please be gentle with yourself. What you are experiencing in the wake of this breakup is actually quite normal, and as hard as it may be to believe right now, the dark emotions will eventually subside. Here is a link to an article on the five stages of grief. You are still in the early stages, so allow yourself time to grieve: http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ From what I understand, transiting Pluto conjunct your Sun will bring about a period of intense change and inner transformation. For you, this will probably be exacerbated by your Chiron/Sun opposition. It is a good time to explore your internal landscape and to spend time working on personal growth and healing from childhood emotional wounds, etc. Also, if you have issues with power and/or control, now is a good time to explore those and learn to relinquish unhealthy patterns. For more information, I recommend googling "Natal Sun conjunct transiting Pluto." In the meantime, I copied this snippet from http://astrologyking.com/pluto-conjunct-sun-transit/ "Pluto transits herald major life changing experiences and this is especially so with the Pluto conjunct Sun transit. The Sun is the life force, the power and the whole identity and there is an eighteen month period of deep and lasting change in the life direction. Pluto has a reputation of stripping away things to the bare bone in order to facilitate soul evolution, however this does not have to be the case with this conjunction. There may be events which result in loss or separation, but only if those things are standing in the way of being true to yourself." Good luck with your journey of healing and transformation!
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Bango13
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 10:39 PM
Thanks I guess I am going through those stages. What hurts the most is that she said if I asked her to marry her before going to philidelphia she would have stayed with me. That is what gets to me the most. It is the fact that I waited to long and didn't take the chance. As I am right now, I hope to work my way to acceptance and find my purpose in life. Also, the whole pluto transit kind of puts things into a little more perspective. What scares me the most is her trying to get into contact with me again whether it be for friendship or more...IP: Logged |
EmGem
Knowflake Posts: 577
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted July 19, 2015 11:36 PM
Banjo, whatever you do please don't blame yourself. This is no fault of your own. I believe that you are being tested and these kinds of crises are exactly the result of Pluto teaching you a lesson. You sound so much like my ex husband after I left him. He's very saturnian. He said his soul was destroyed among other things.Don't turn away from this. As hard as it is, you will absolutley get through it I promise. If you can learn what Pluto is trying to teach you then you have a great advantage and this will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. Seek things that will comfort you and if you find astrology helps you gain clarity then I think that's great. Give yourself the time you need to heal. I would say you may probably still be in shock asking all sorts of questions. Everyone has their own timing with grief. Don't let anyone tell you "you should be over her by now" etc. Best of luck. IP: Logged |
Empty Spaces
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted July 20, 2015 12:47 AM
After everything you've been through you have the right to be mourning over this relationship but please dont close you heart for new people and possibilities. If you really not prepared for it yet ,focus 100% on your spiritual growth.
Perhaps the best is yet to come! I BELIEVE 
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Bango13
Newflake Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted July 20, 2015 01:29 AM
Thank you for the encourgement everyone. After this I wasn't sure I could trust anymore. I won't go into details but they way she dumped me was really harsh and quick over the phone. She didn't even have the courage to tell me she was dating someone else so fast. I found that out a week later on social media. Being able to open myself to someone on a deeper level seems so much harder now. Although, I am going to really try and talk to other people but without being so gulliable. Sorry that I have turned this thread into me expressing my thoughts. I needed to get some of this stuff off my chest and seing as I am in a new city with barely any friends and no one to talk to. It is helping greatly.IP: Logged | |
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