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Author Topic:   Highly draining friendship
Selenite
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From: Lyra
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 14, 2015 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selenite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, I would like to know what exactly is apparent in the astrology of my friendship with this girl, that affects me so negatively.

My feelings are that she is an energy vampire (I can't really sugarcoat it anymore), has slowly incorporated all of my tastes, hobbies and life goals as her own, and befriended all of my friends to the point where I can't hang out with any of them without her or she'll be upset. If I set boundaries, she takes it personally. I thought that distance would fix the issue, but it goes right back to square one once we catch up.
I've never dealt with anything like this before, and I feel so tied to her, but our time together completely drains me without fail. It drains me just to type this out. I apologize if this post drains anyone else, I'm just very curious:

Is there something in this synastry / composite that can indicate this energy exchange (or lack thereof)?
I would love to pinpoint specific aspects to protect myself in the future :/


Composite:

Synastry (I'm on inside):

Please don't quote

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Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6727
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 14, 2015 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, dear.

Do the words 'karmic payback' resonate?

Purely from an intuitive stance (we'll have to investigate further) I'm sensing that this (very lost) soul adored you, and was either abandoned or severely rejected. Something unfortunate was likely to follow, as those who are this lost, that they can't find their own ego, tend to have 'abandoned ship' in the past, if you follow.

I'll look more closely into this. But I find the NODES square DSC to be very powerful.

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Selenite
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From: Lyra
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 14, 2015 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selenite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh wow. Yeah, I'd say 'karmic payback' has pretty much been the main theme of my life. It's odd - I feel like your intuition is correct, I just also feel like whatever happened was not my doing.

She did do a past life regression with a psychic that revealed something horrible, having a lot to do with her retrograde Saturn in the 8th. I think we might have been siblings. When she channeled her higher self with the psychic, her spirit said that the two of us had a 'past life' on another planet, and we were of a strange androgynous alien race (Lumerians?).

Lol, whatever our past was, seems to have stuck in this life, because I don't think she has a realistic view of me - or respect for my needs - at all.

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Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6727
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 14, 2015 08:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's exaaaaactly what I was getting from things. There's a lot of 'sisterly' activity in this synastry, especially at the Lilith level. And you could be absolutely right. It may even have been something as innocent as marrying and moving far away, which would have felt like a betrayal to a younger sibling who idolised the older.

The androgyny is an interesting aspect, too.

You're probably 'together' again to help her find her actual self, and allow you to institute real, healthy boundaries. It feels very much like a karmic sibling relationship, even before you supplied other details. And the truth is, no one has right to dominate, monopolise, or drain our energy -- regardless of what was.

I feel diplomacy is what's going to matter most here. Sometimes we have to downright 'claim our space' as it were. Things will probably change once you are properly 'defending' your boundaries, but helping her to discover her own identity.

We all want a friend, with complementary values, experiences, hobbies, and traits. But nobody wants a clone. Curiously enough, you may have been twin sisters -- as identical twins are constantly battling the conflict of ego separation, what is theirs versus their sibling's.

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Aurora_girl1990
Knowflake

Posts: 1479
From: kuala lumpur,malaysia
Registered: Feb 2013

posted August 15, 2015 07:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aurora_girl1990     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry to OP for derailling the thread slightly.

Aubyanne,what can you tell from these charts i posted up here http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/003209.html..Thanks

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Selenite
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From: Lyra
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 15, 2015 07:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selenite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
That's exaaaaactly what I was getting from things. There's a lot of 'sisterly' activity in this synastry, especially at the Lilith level. And you could be absolutely right. It may even have been something as innocent as marrying and moving far away, which would have felt like a betrayal to a younger sibling who idolised the older.

The androgyny is an interesting aspect, too.

You're probably 'together' again to help her find her actual self, and allow you to institute real, healthy boundaries. It feels very much like a karmic sibling relationship, even before you supplied other details. And the truth is, no one has right to dominate, monopolise, or drain our energy -- regardless of what was.

I feel diplomacy is what's going to matter most here. Sometimes we have to downright 'claim our space' as it were. Things will probably change once you are properly 'defending' your boundaries, but helping her to discover her own identity.

We all want a friend, with complementary values, experiences, hobbies, and traits. But nobody wants a clone. Curiously enough, you may have been twin sisters -- as identical twins are constantly battling the conflict of ego separation, what is theirs versus their sibling's.


Lol, the thought of us being twin sisters has a part of me screaming 'Nooo!!!'
It's so visceral, it's weird. Maybe it's because I didn't see it coming until it was too late, and now any little thing that pertains to us being alike makes me want to run. The thing is, I'm not going to be very good at helping her, because I am just learning how to help myself. I hurt her a lot, but she wouldn't be hurt if she had healthy expectations.. (Mars square moon!) I don't even like to put the blame on her, but that's exactly what it is ^ and feels a little too close to abusive relationships of my past.

Wow. I guess this is destined to be a continually bumpy ride. I've been giving myself space, as in not talking to her, and I still feel her trying to infiltrate my psyche, it feels emotionally manipulative. (Or, psychically manipulative.) I also know that she is not above using witchcraft to invade peoples' dreams, make them come to her, etc. The ironic thing is that I taught her how to do spells and basically everything I know about astrology.

Well now I'm just being a downer, and I feel bad because I 'love' her. Off to meditate somewhere..

I don't know how I could let it get to this point. Are there any other aspects that jump out at you? Should I post the natals?

Thanks for your responses

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Selenite
Knowflake

Posts: 1765
From: Lyra
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 15, 2015 07:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selenite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moon-BML seems important, now that I think about it. Especially because her Uranus-Neptune squares the conjunction. I have it natally, but she doesn't. Could this mean that she probably doesn't take well to my emotional needs, or needs for space and independence, and it brings out her BML side?

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kani
Knowflake

Posts: 363
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted February 02, 2019 04:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Any update on this connection?

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 106936
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 07, 2019 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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