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Author Topic:   My newly married friends + their sex life! Help please Lotus White, Ceridwen, Auby?
EmGem
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posted August 15, 2015 01:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My best friend married her partner in November. I'm so happy for her, however there is something missing - so she says. She used to be quite the flirt in her single days. She would often galavant around town and not be partial to taking a gentleman (or two) home for the night. She LOVED sex and experimenting in all sorts of ways.
Then she met her future hubsand. Great bond, similar interests, lots of humour and exciting travel companions. BUT..... as she admitted to me the other day, they only have sex once every couple weeks and can often go longer without it. She used to be quite forward with her sexual encounters with men and now feels like she has no libido to make her moves on her husband. Right when they are wanting to have a child. So there's a massive block there. He feels like he has no libido too.

They have never really had a great sexual spark. I'm hoping you can help me and take a look at their charts to see whether there is potential for sexual opening and relating. Tell me what you see. They really want to have a baby.

thank you!

synastry. she is inside, he is out.

composite

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Rosalind
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posted August 15, 2015 03:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Rosalind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NN conjunct ASC gives a nice and positive karmic bond. Uranus is aso nice over the ASC. Makes the individual feel more free and eccentric.
Don’t like that Mars over IC. A very bad aspect to have in synastry. IMHO
Sun over 5th house is fun and exciting. Positive thing to have but for romances not long term relationships.
Valentine exactly conjunct Vertex can make the relationship and the individuals feel fated for a romantic relationship but Venus over 6h house isn’t ideal to have in synastry and in this case in composite. Make the relationship feel like a great burden, a chore, a responsability. In composite, Venus conjunct Vertex and Sun is great but not so great in the 6th house.
Thee is no emphasis over 8th house. Neither in synastry nor composite. She doesn’t feel very sexually attracted to him and the relationship itself isn’t based much of intimacy and sex. I think it’s based on other things. They have other priorities which isn’t bad but not good either.
His Moon over her 12th house makes her feel frustrated. She cannot express fully her emotions. She feels kinda restricted. He gives her emotional security but she cannot enjoy it. She feel insecure.
That Mars in 12th house in composite is another trigger for their sexual frustrations. Mars in 12th house becomes passive not active. Something that is not fully developed. That is kept hidden. They might feel fear that if they tell each other about their sexual fantasies might start thinking bad about each other. Like they are some pervs or something. Not sure how to explain it but anyway.. its gonna hurt their relationship. Uranus is also in 12th house. Their freedom of doing things in general feels limitating.
To be honest with you and God, this isn’t a match made in Heaven. They might share a great bond, similar interests and so on, but is not enough to have a full and healthy relationship. I advice them to not have children. Not until they start working to solve their sexual and intimacy problems.

They didn't get married during Venus RX, did they?

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Aubyanne
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posted August 15, 2015 04:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay, we've got some things missing, for one, and I'd need to see them:

LUST (4386)
PRIAPUS (h22)
OSC. LILITH (h13) (to evaluate true Priapus, too)
LILITH (1181)
NYMPHE (875)
SAPPHO (80)
PAN (4450)
APHRODITE (1388)
CUPIDO (763)

You've got some good ones here, but it's not as focussed as I need it to be.

And, hey, if my husband and I can work through our sexual problems in our marriage, and my boyfriend and I can begin to overcome the issues of asexuality in our own sexual relationship -- I'm sure this couple can have a baby with some dedicated work on behalf of both.

The issue is always intimacy, and, as Rosalind had mentioned, shame and conflict regarding sexual attitudes. Always huge barriers to intimacy. That's why I love to see what NYMPHE is doing, too. Extremely useful.

PECKER (1629) also helps when erectile issues are a feature.

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Aubyanne
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posted August 15, 2015 04:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Frankly, they've both got MARS in 12H natally. As they're both used to stuffing down their own needs, or letting others take the initiative, or both, when this becomes the SOP for the relationship, individual problems are compounded. I also see this in the case where both are more submissively oriented, and always 'waiting for the other one' to 'make the move'.

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Ceridwen
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posted August 15, 2015 05:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry, EmGem for butting into your thread, but Auby had mentioned something that interests me personally, so I thought I`d put my question to her here, if you don´t mind.

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Ceridwen
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posted August 15, 2015 05:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Auby,

you mentioned Mars in 12th house, which I share with both people here and certainly your interpretation resonates a lot with me as well. In my case it is also conjunct Neptune, so I think a lot of the sexual energy in my case might be simply sublimated or channelled into fantasies, creativity, spirituality or plain ignorance.

Incidentally I JUST realized that he has Mars in the 6th house. lol

Anyway my question actually was about the asteroids:
Are these the asteroids you would use to analyze specifically the sexual dimension of a relationship?
(personally I would add Eros to this, but maybe you did not mention him, cause he was already in the charts?)


What would you expect to find?

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EmGem
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posted August 15, 2015 05:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh dear....i really hope they can figure things out. Do they have any hope?? This doesn't sound so good. thanks for your input guys. I guess the truth hurts.

the charts are updated here with what you need Auby. I had to take out a few to fit them in as I could only input 10 asteroids.

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EmGem
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posted August 15, 2015 05:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Sorry, EmGem for butting into your thread, but Auby had mentioned something that interests me personally, so I thought I`d put my question to her here, if you don´t mind.


absolutely fine hun we're all learning so any questions are good!

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Aunt Anomalia
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posted August 15, 2015 06:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aunt Anomalia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Shouldn't Jupiter in the 8th bring sexual abundance or something? Especially since it's the ASC ruler, squares Pluto and trines Scorpio Uranus. Maybe the Saturn conjunction to the 8HR causes issues. Mars square Saturn is shady too.

In synastry her Moon in his 8th and Jupiter in the 8th DW, 8HR Venus trine Pluto, Venus opposite Mars, ehh...And look at that composite Pan trine Nypmhe exact. I'd say it's is a sexual asteroid pairing.
------------------
Anomaling around since 1911.

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page one
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posted August 15, 2015 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for page one     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It looks like his Moon on her Saturn is putting stress on her Venus/Saturn square, that's all I've got.

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Gabby
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posted August 15, 2015 11:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars in 12th and it's only aspect is a square to Saturn....I'm sorry but that's not good AT ALL!!
Saturn restricts even in positive aspects, the square?? Forget it! Then Mars doesn't make any other aspect the only way it connects to the chart is though the restrictions of Saturn...plus it's in the 12th house.
That Mars doesn't not conjunct either of them personally so no one is bringing the composite mars personally into the the relationship...it's already an isolated mars so it's just not connecting to either of them in any way.

Is there lack of libido caused by work or work related?

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LeeLoo2014
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posted August 15, 2015 01:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This part was at least interesting: "taking a gentleman (or two) home for the night"
Unless it shows some personal sexual issues? Not necessarily - the best reason: sexual freedom and experimentation; another option: it comes from intimacy issues in need of solving. So which was it?

Her Mars is good for his Venus, her Venus is not ideal for his Mars (he is compatible with Virgo/Pisces, especially Pisces; but maybe her mutability can help)
The possible problem I see in this synastry is a strong platonic vibe; this could kill the libido (but it's a strong synastry).

The main problem, the platonic, comes from a lack of Yin/Yang aspects (masculine on feminine); you have only 2 such aspects, Venus opp Mars, and Moon/Saturn - they are quite strong though; but the rest is feminine on feminine, masculine on masculine; this is good for friendships, normally yin/yangs should prevail, for best results with sex and romance. To this, you add classic platonic placements such as 12th Mars, Venus opp Neptune, Sun/Venus etc. and you have a problem.

Someone, I guess your friend, since you say she has so much experience already, should try a more "dirty", animalistic, instinctual approach. Games, role-playing and fantasies is their best path.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

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hypatia238
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posted August 15, 2015 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Frankly, they've both got MARS in 12H natally. As they're both used to stuffing down their own needs, or letting others take the initiative, or both, when this becomes the SOP for the relationship, individual problems are compounded. I also see this in the case where both are more submissively oriented, and always 'waiting for the other one' to 'make the move'.

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Aubyanne
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posted August 15, 2015 03:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Right, so to paraphrase Tim Curry in 'Clue', sex is just a red-herring. Their marriage is karmic, and sex has a unique karmic relationship to death, and, especially, homicide.

I missed it initially, with the lack of SNODE being added back in. Always add the SNODE, folks!

He's got a SNODE-CHIRON natally, and his SUN's on her SNODE. Say it with me now: what's his skipped step?

... That's right. MARS.

Intriguing enough, while it's not conjunct, Ceri got me to see that oppositions will hit as well, perhaps due to the nature of Midpoints. And so, we've got her SUN opposite his MARS, which takes on a WHOLE new dimension when you see the pattern. Ah, but we're not done; his NYMPHE is on her SUN, which activates the pattern, despite the orb.

Now, they've got a curious thing I noticed immediately: 19° Libra EROS in the composite. This is the degree most configured with homicide -- whether on the criminal or investigative side. He's brought in a deep pain with that SNODE-CHIRON; healing he failed to accomplish elsewhere. Her SUN is lighting up his skipped step (MARS) along with both of their MERCURIES. Not much there; his MERC-ruled houses are intercepted, but her SUN is her 8R -- curiously conjunct her MERC.

And, let's not forget that it's his SUN on her SNODE, which is his 12R.

The karma here is pretty deep.

Interestingly, with her having been a very free-spirited sexual person, iQ's theory is that these are souls that were warriors. Sex is a way to 'give back life', and those who are promiscuous -- or simply liberated in their sexuality -- may be trying to restore the balance.

Intriguing most of all is the purpose with which their sex is now laden: giving life. That's what the male part of the equation is; the ovum cannot be fertilised in lieu of the material supplied by the testes. It's quite a synchronised little operation, reproduction.

I'll hazard that the 12H MARSES denote a shared karmic influence that's pervading the present, and further complicating proper relating here. Naturally, it's front and centre in the composite, as it MUST be handled now, in order to achieve the mutual goal (MARS).

But his MARS is deeply wounded, and her SUN illuminates his NYMPHE with echoes of innocent sexuality -- free of shame and restraint. His SUN lights up her karmic past as well, which we now see has CUPIDO conjunct; along with his PSYCHE-MOON, he carries both parts of the soulmate relationship in his psyche and karmic composition. Her MOON-EROS further completes the complementary dynamic which leans ever-so-slightly towards the soulful masculine: as both contain EROS / CUPIDO energy, but only he has PSYCHE so prominent.

Nothing is coincidence. Especially with a VERTEX/VENUS DW, with overlay of SAPPHO and VALENTINE -- sex and love. Specifically sex for the purpose of deep, creative bonding -- sex that springs forth from creative energy and powerful friendship. VALENTINE, of course, is incredible unconditional love -- the panacea -- if we utilise it properly.

They're karmic soulmates. A wound had occurred -- a powerful betrayal which still resonates in his psyche: likely where he was the female partner, or they were both women. (This is another possibility with SAPPHO.)

The relationship between death and sexuality should be explored: through roleplay and fantasy. He is unconsciously and literally withholding from her what she needs and desires, as a form of 'punishment' for this betrayal -- whether abandonment or crime of passion. (That 19° Libra is a potent degree.)

When a karmic relationship begins between such soulmates, the former betrayal comes to the fore and resonates. Especially once one objective has been achieved -- typically marriage or similar commitment. The urgency is lessened, but the work may not be done. In the case of murder karma, the past victim will engage in a complicated dynamic of intimacy versus distance; the unconscious fear is rising. Trust and a sense of safety and comfort is shaken. It will seem inexplicable and cause both partners great confusion and frustration. This often leads to the unintended desired consequence of distance and the aborted or disrupted sexual relationship -- especially if sexual violence was also part of the unresolved karma. Now. Why? We can explore this further in terms of how the fantasy nature changes, and the individual's attitude towards orgasm.

Fascinating thing about orgasm is its physiological relationship to trauma; the 'controlled epileptic seizure' that it provides. This is why profound intimacy can result from sharing this literally out-of-control experience with another, if emotionally invested and present in their body, rather than dissociating. But trauma victims dissociate, and it doesn't matter where the trauma occurred. In fact, it becomes most unnerving when it wasn't here; i.e. 'in another life'.

Typically, the prior victim will either become anorgasmic, lose libido, or both. Interesting enough, the one who perpetrated the violence or betrayal will begin to disengage as well, in response to their partner's sudden distress, but independently. In other words, they won't be longing for sexual expression outside of their partner -- pornography, infidelity, etc. The desire nature also gets 'shut off' in a sense.

Both find themselves in a holding pattern. The way out is deep, complicated honesty. Meditation and tantra can be explored to delve into the greater issues. The relationship to the experience of orgasm and its association must be healed, so that, eventually, they are able to FULLY engage in orgasmic response, with complete presence in the moment with their partner -- even at the height of fear, in which their being is inexplicably identifying a source of danger. A kind of traumatic reenactment must then take place in the sexual relationship, allowing the prior victim to heal in the presence of the one who wounded them.

Their composite CHIRON-SUN-VENUS-VERTEX is no mystery. The nature of their marriage is karmic. Once the wound has been healed for them both -- he is able to free his MARS, and she her SUN -- the return of the animus should take hold, and I think they'll be fine.

I do. But they have to handle these deep, pervasive issues. Sex is not the cause -- only the casualty.

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EmGem
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posted August 15, 2015 09:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Right, so to paraphrase Tim Curry in 'Clue', sex is just a red-herring. Their marriage is karmic, and sex has a unique karmic relationship to death, and, especially, homicide.

I missed it initially, with the lack of SNODE being added back in. Always add the SNODE, folks!

He's got a SNODE-CHIRON natally, and his SUN's on her SNODE. Say it with me now: what's his skipped step?

... That's right. MARS.

Intriguing enough, while it's not conjunct, Ceri got me to see that oppositions will hit as well, perhaps due to the nature of Midpoints. And so, we've got her SUN opposite his MARS, which takes on a WHOLE new dimension when you see the pattern. Ah, but we're not done; his NYMPHE is on her SUN, which activates the pattern, despite the orb.

Now, they've got a curious thing I noticed immediately: 19° Libra EROS in the composite. This is the degree most configured with homicide -- whether on the criminal or investigative side. He's brought in a deep pain with that SNODE-CHIRON; healing he failed to accomplish elsewhere. Her SUN is lighting up his skipped step (MARS) along with both of their MERCURIES. Not much there; his MERC-ruled houses are intercepted, but her SUN is her 8R -- curiously conjunct her MERC.

And, let's not forget that it's his SUN on her SNODE, which is his 12R.

The karma here is pretty deep.

Interestingly, with her having been a very free-spirited sexual person, iQ's theory is that these are souls that were warriors. Sex is a way to 'give back life', and those who are promiscuous -- or simply liberated in their sexuality -- may be trying to restore the balance.

Intriguing most of all is the purpose with which their sex is now laden: giving [b]life. That's what the male part of the equation is; the ovum cannot be fertilised in lieu of the material supplied by the testes. It's quite a synchronised little operation, reproduction.

I'll hazard that the 12H MARSES denote a shared karmic influence that's pervading the present, and further complicating proper relating here. Naturally, it's front and centre in the composite, as it MUST be handled now, in order to achieve the mutual goal (MARS).

But his MARS is deeply wounded, and her SUN illuminates his NYMPHE with echoes of innocent sexuality -- free of shame and restraint. His SUN lights up her karmic past as well, which we now see has CUPIDO conjunct; along with his PSYCHE-MOON, he carries both parts of the soulmate relationship in his psyche and karmic composition. Her MOON-EROS further completes the complementary dynamic which leans ever-so-slightly towards the soulful masculine: as both contain EROS / CUPIDO energy, but only he has PSYCHE so prominent.

Nothing is coincidence. Especially with a VERTEX/VENUS DW, with overlay of SAPPHO and VALENTINE -- sex and love. Specifically sex for the purpose of deep, creative bonding -- sex that springs forth from creative energy and powerful friendship. VALENTINE, of course, is incredible unconditional love -- the panacea -- if we utilise it properly.

They're karmic soulmates. A wound had occurred -- a powerful betrayal which still resonates in his psyche: likely where he was the female partner, or they were both women. (This is another possibility with SAPPHO.)

The relationship between death and sexuality should be explored: through roleplay and fantasy. He is unconsciously and literally withholding from her what she needs and desires, as a form of 'punishment' for this betrayal -- whether abandonment or crime of passion. (That 19° Libra is a potent degree.)

When a karmic relationship begins between such soulmates, the former betrayal comes to the fore and resonates. Especially once one objective has been achieved -- typically marriage or similar commitment. The urgency is lessened, but the work may not be done. In the case of murder karma, the past victim will engage in a complicated dynamic of intimacy versus distance; the unconscious fear is rising. Trust and a sense of safety and comfort is shaken. It will seem inexplicable and cause both partners great confusion and frustration. This often leads to the unintended desired consequence of distance and the aborted or disrupted sexual relationship -- especially if sexual violence was also part of the unresolved karma. Now. Why? We can explore this further in terms of how the fantasy nature changes, and the individual's attitude towards orgasm.

Fascinating thing about orgasm is its physiological relationship to trauma; the 'controlled epileptic seizure' that it provides. This is why profound intimacy can result from sharing this literally out-of-control experience with another, if emotionally invested and present in their body, rather than dissociating. But trauma victims dissociate, and it doesn't matter where the trauma occurred. In fact, it becomes most unnerving when it wasn't here; i.e. 'in another life'.

Typically, the prior victim will either become anorgasmic, lose libido, or both. Interesting enough, the one who perpetrated the violence or betrayal will begin to disengage as well, in response to their partner's sudden distress, but independently. In other words, they won't be longing for sexual expression outside of their partner -- pornography, infidelity, etc. The desire nature also gets 'shut off' in a sense.

Both find themselves in a holding pattern. The way out is deep, complicated honesty. Meditation and tantra can be explored to delve into the greater issues. The relationship to the experience of orgasm and its association must be healed, so that, eventually, they are able to FULLY engage in orgasmic response, with complete presence in the moment with their partner -- even at the height of fear, in which their being is inexplicably identifying a source of danger. A kind of traumatic reenactment must then take place in the sexual relationship, allowing the prior victim to heal in the presence of the one who wounded them.

Their composite CHIRON-SUN-VENUS-VERTEX is no mystery. The nature of their marriage is karmic. Once the wound has been healed for them both -- he is able to free his MARS, and she her SUN -- the return of the animus should take hold, and I think they'll be fine.

I do. But they have to handle these deep, pervasive issues. Sex is not the cause -- only the casualty.


A-mazing Auby!
I felt shivers when reading this. Something resonates and I just had a feeling that there was some very deep healing that needed to take place between the two.

Yes, I can see how he holds back from her which is awful because she was so sexually free. It makes her withdraw and both are left sitting on opposite sides of the fence. She is really quite repressed at the moment and it saddens me. She told me recently that she doesn't want it to get to the stage where her husband goes on a business trip and she's off having an affair. But it's in her. She would do that I can see it. So the time is now for healing.

quote:
Both find themselves in a holding pattern. The way out is deep, complicated honesty. Meditation and tantra can be explored to delve into the greater issues. The relationship to the experience of orgasm and its association must be healed, so that, eventually, they are able to FULLY engage in orgasmic response, with complete presence in the moment with their partner -- even at the height of fear, in which their being is inexplicably identifying a source of danger. A kind of traumatic reenactment must then take place in the sexual relationship, allowing the prior victim to heal in the presence of the one who wounded them.

beautiful. however I just don't know how open they are to all this. To really go into the depths, especially him. I have a not so great feeling about this marriage and it scares me to say that.

Do you think that this type of relationship is short lived due to its karmic nature? or do they have the potential to be lifelong partners?

She's expecting answers now and if I go on about karma and past unresolved hurts she may look at me strangely. I need to broach this appropriately.

Any advice?

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EmGem
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posted August 15, 2015 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Fascinating thing about orgasm is its physiological relationship to trauma; the 'controlled epileptic seizure' that it provides. This is why profound intimacy can result from sharing this literally out-of-control experience with another, if emotionally invested and present in their body, rather than dissociating. But trauma victims dissociate, and it doesn't matter where the trauma occurred. In fact, it becomes most unnerving when it wasn't here; i.e. 'in another life'.

this is really interesting. I can relate this to my situation with my soulmate. He couldn't physically ejaculate since he experienced a trauma in his life until he met me. It's so nice to know you have indirectly helped someone trust again and learn to let go.

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Lotis White
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posted August 16, 2015 07:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lotis White     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
EmGem,

I guess I'm sort of old fashioned but I'm one of those that takes marriage very seriously. And barring dangerous abusive behavior, I think a marriage is always worth fighting for. I won’t go into any of my rants about marriage being taken too lightly, or people being too much into instant gratification these days, but I think you get the point. Marriage is a challenge to develop patience and tolerance because lets face it nobody out there is perfect.

From what I can see, your friend and this guy are legitimately into each other. Firstly, there are some house related indicators that each is the others ‘type’…

From her side… His Sun is in her 5th house (The house of romantic chemistry), and his Mars is conjunct her 5th house cusp. His Mercury is in the 4th house but close to the 5th house cusp and in the same sign as the 5th house cusp. Saturn in Virgo rules her 5th house cusp, and so her 5th house ruler is close to his Moon in Virgo. She has Aries on the 7th house cusp (the house of partnership) and he has Venus in that sign. Plus, her 7th house ruler Mars in Libra is opposite his Venus. So I’d say that he is really her type and that she is attracted. The Venus/Mars aspect is positive sign for physical attraction. The opposition can sometimes indicate different libido levels but the fact that a Venus/Mars aspect exists in the synastry at all means that they can probably work it out.

From his side… He has both his Dsc and 8th house cusp in Leo, and her Moon falls into Leo right on top of his 8th house cusp. You’d think that for him this would be a big turn on for intimacy on his part. However the 8th house is also about more then just physical intimacy. It’s also about trust, and sharing private info about each other together. His 7th /8th house ruler is the Sun in Aquarius which is trine her Venus in Gemini. On top of that, her Venus in Gemini falls into his 5th house. All of this is really good for romantic chemistry. I can’t find her Cancer sun anywhere in his attraction pattern, although the rest of her chart is a good match. One possible link is that he has Moon in Virgo, and Cancer is on the 6th house cusp (the 6th house is ruled by Virgo). This could give a lunar type of attraction to Cancer women. Going back to the Venus/Mars opposition, his Venus is his 5th house ruler so having that opposite her Mars adds to the romantic chemistry.

Funnily enough, they both have Jupiter the planet of abundance in each other’s 8th house (the house of intimacy), so this at least indicates hope a happy union in terms of what they share in private. From what I can see they really like each other and are taken with each other. It is possible to fall for someone that you do have a few incompatibilities with though. One thing to consider is that his Mars does not appear to be strongly aspected in the synastry. Mars is all about raw passion so maybe that’s part of the issue. Mars does aspect her Sun by opposition but it’s looks a bit wide on the chart. However, his Sun trine her Venus is a nice good yin/yang aspect, and will allow him to assert himself around her in general.

One really impressive thing about their synastry is that they each have the other person’s Venus on their Vertex. This means that there are things about the relationship that feel very meaningful to both of them. As they got to know each other they discovered and saw things in each other that created a new image of the ’ideal mate’ for each of them. There are areas of compatibility unrelated to just physical expression that are very strong for both of them. It’s not hopeless. A little compromise goes a long way.

The composite in overall is actually quite positive, apart from the Saturn square Mars thing. Sun and Venus in Taurus are both trine that Virgo Moon. In the composite the Moon is the 8th house ruler so the trines are a good sign for intimacy in general. About the Mars/Saturn square, squares are dynamic and can imply improvement as a result of hard work and compromise.

Is she worried about their routine, has she brought up her concerns to him? He might think that things are normal and have no idea that she is concerned unless she brings it up. It’s possible that a temporary transit of some kind is causing a block if it wasn’t there before. Is either one of them stressed out or prone to health issues?

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EmGem
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posted August 16, 2015 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lotis White:
EmGem,

I guess I'm sort of old fashioned but I'm one of those that takes marriage very seriously. And barring dangerous abusive behavior, I think a marriage is always worth fighting for. I won’t go into any of my rants about marriage being taken too lightly, or people being too much into instant gratification these days, but I think you get the point. Marriage is a challenge to develop patience and tolerance because lets face it nobody out there is perfect.

From what I can see, your friend and this guy are legitimately into each other. Firstly, there are some house related indicators that each is the others ‘type’…

From her side… His Sun is in her 5th house (The house of romantic chemistry), and his Mars is conjunct her 5th house cusp. His Mercury is in the 4th house but close to the 5th house cusp and in the same sign as the 5th house cusp. Saturn in Virgo rules her 5th house cusp, and so her 5th house ruler is close to his Moon in Virgo. She has Aries on the 7th house cusp (the house of partnership) and he has Venus in that sign. Plus, her 7th house ruler Mars in Libra is opposite his Venus. So I’d say that he is really her type and that she is attracted. The Venus/Mars aspect is positive sign for physical attraction. The opposition can sometimes indicate different libido levels but the fact that a Venus/Mars aspect exists in the synastry at all means that they can probably work it out.

From his side… He has both his Dsc and 8th house cusp in Leo, and her Moon falls into Leo right on top of his 8th house cusp. You’d think that for him this would be a big turn on for intimacy on his part. However the 8th house is also about more then just physical intimacy. It’s also about trust, and sharing private info about each other together. His 7th /8th house ruler is the Sun in Aquarius which is trine her Venus in Gemini. On top of that, her Venus in Gemini falls into his 5th house. All of this is really good for romantic chemistry. I can’t find her Cancer sun anywhere in his attraction pattern, although the rest of her chart is a good match. One possible link is that he has Moon in Virgo, and Cancer is on the 6th house cusp (the 6th house is ruled by Virgo). This could give a lunar type of attraction to Cancer women. Going back to the Venus/Mars opposition, his Venus is his 5th house ruler so having that opposite her Mars adds to the romantic chemistry.

Funnily enough, they both have Jupiter the planet of abundance in each other’s 8th house (the house of intimacy), so this at least indicates hope a happy union in terms of what they share in private. From what I can see they really like each other and are taken with each other. It is possible to fall for someone that you do have a few incompatibilities with though. One thing to consider is that his Mars does not appear to be strongly aspected in the synastry. Mars is all about raw passion so maybe that’s part of the issue. Mars does aspect her Sun by opposition but it’s looks a bit wide on the chart. However, his Sun trine her Venus is a nice good yin/yang aspect, and will allow him to assert himself around her in general.

One really impressive thing about their synastry is that they each have the other person’s Venus on their Vertex. This means that there are things about the relationship that feel very meaningful to both of them. As they got to know each other they discovered and saw things in each other that created a new image of the ’ideal mate’ for each of them. There are areas of compatibility unrelated to just physical expression that are very strong for both of them. It’s not hopeless. A little compromise goes a long way.

The composite in overall is actually quite positive, apart from the Saturn square Mars thing. Sun and Venus in Taurus are both trine that Virgo Moon. In the composite the Moon is the 8th house ruler so the trines are a good sign for intimacy in general. About the Mars/Saturn square, squares are dynamic and can imply improvement as a result of hard work and compromise.

Is she worried about their routine, has she brought up her concerns to him? He might think that things are normal and have no idea that she is concerned unless she brings it up. It’s possible that a temporary transit of some kind is causing a block if it wasn’t there before. Is either one of them stressed out or prone to health issues?


thank you so much Lotus I'm really happy to see a positive take on their synastry. They are both such good people and the way they laugh together and carry on just shows how drawn to one another they are. However, the sexual attraction has not been a big hit at any time in their relationship. The only time they can let go and 'get it on' is when they are both drunk or wasted on something. Which tells me it really is about emotional intimacy. Letting their guards down. So, I will attempt to explain that where the work is, is in their emotional relating to one another. I think she will understand.

She has brought it up with him, the whole 'we need to do something about our sex life'. So he is well aware of that. It's a start at least.

Funny you should ask about any illnesses. She has MS (but very manageable) and he has insulin dependent diabetes. Their profiles were matched on a dating site with this as a common thread.

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted August 16, 2015 10:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree. There's potential for a strong marriage, but certain things must be worked through and cleared. Therapy is a very good option here.

And, as to what we were discussing prior, Em, I'm in the process of writing a book on the subject. I deal with clients in various capacities in this area, and I rarely ever get to play the karma card. Heh. Nonetheless it can't be disregarded, so I do find ways around it.

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EmGem
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posted August 16, 2015 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I agree. There's potential for a strong marriage, but certain things must be worked through and cleared. Therapy is a very good option here.

And, as to what we were discussing prior, Em, I'm in the process of writing a book on the subject. I deal with clients in various capacities in this area, and I rarely ever get to play the karma card. Heh. Nonetheless it can't be disregarded, so I do find ways around it.


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HoodBlaze
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From: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
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posted August 16, 2015 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for HoodBlaze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am seeing a prophecy in the ether and channelling it. I foresee, no blowjobs in his future..... Lol 😱

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