posted August 16, 2015 03:19 PM
Oh, dear. Must we do this again? Evidently, yes. Yes, we must.Forgive me, but, in my experience, I have found there are certain mandatory principles of conduct which must be observed in order to have a pleasant, productive, enlightening, and joyous time. I will outline and describe them in further detail here now for your perusal and consideration.
1. WE MUST ALL BE RESPECTFUL. WE NEED NOT ALL AGREE.
Astrologers, like scientists, have our own theories, approaches, perspectives, individual training, experiences, and process for doing our astrology.
However:
The majority rules.
In the event of a disagreement, we should all be respectful and free enough of our egos to consider the majority perspective. LL is comprised of a wide variety of astrologers from many walks of life; we vary in age, experience, and approach. In the event of a hot debate, let us always give preference to the opinions of our veterans. We can safely presume that the sheer bounty of their experience is enough to teach us a thing or two.
Often, we will find, upon taking their perspective into serious consideration, that there are sound reasons for their approach or 'hard-and-fast rules'. We should at least offer them the respect to take that into account. We can all, always, learn something new.
2. ABUSE OF ANY KIND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. EVER.
While the definition of abuse may vary and even be a matter of perspective, we can presume the dictionary definition is sufficient for necessary clarity:
a) to misuse for a bad purpose
b) treat one with cruelty or violence
c) repeatedly hurt or injure by maltreatment
In the online world, the form of abuse that is most prevalent is verbal abuse. We will take a moment now to explore what this is and how one whom is victimised by it is affected.
VERBAL ABUSE:
a) is blatantly offensive language designed to humiliate or gain power over another person.
b) creates confusion, causing the victim to doubt reality, i.e. 'gaslighting', by deflecting accountability and shifting blame from themselves onto their victim.
Ergo in brevis:
Verbal abuse is the usage of language which seeks to coerce its victim to doubt their perceptions or their abilities, subjugating themselves to the abuser.*
When we resort to name-calling, declare superiority over another, and refuse them the respect they deserve, we are being abusive.
The insidious nature of abuse quickly degenerates into a cycle, but one always provokes the other initially. We are all guilty of this at times, flying off the handle in a moment of anger, saying what we don't mean, reacting from a place of pure agitated emotion. As such, it can be useful to have greater awareness of our own behaviour in the event of an abusive cycle, flame-war, or 'hate thread' starting. We can prevent the entire thing from even occurring.
Helpful checklist to determine if you are perpetrating verbal abuse:
1) Have I used a derogatory term to refer to this person, i.e., name-calling, which was intended to do harm to the other?
2) Have I called into question their competence, basic human dignity, or suitability to engage on this forum?
3) Have they directly stated that they feel attacked by me?
WHAT TO DO WHEN AN ABUSIVE INCIDENT IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS:
1) Don't make it worse! We all must resist the temptation to be drawn into a negative person's abusive intentions, but it's best if we don't. Try to extricate from the situation as quickly and respectfully as possible.
2) Alert a Moderator of the forum, unless the problem is already known.
3) Leave the thread if the desire to engage becomes irresistible. Ego can certainly get the better of us, with the noble intention to vindicate others who may be victimised as well as ourselves.
4) Once you have extricated yourself from the matter, stay away until the matter is resolved. Abusive, argumentative people with a history of poor behaviour often suffer from mental illness and emotional problems. We are not going to fix them; that's best left to professionals suited to the work. The smartest thing that we can do is to remove ourselves from their destructive path.
3. WE ARE TO CONDUCT OURSELVES ACCORDINGLY AT ALL TIMES:
1) With dignity and respect for others.
2) With respect for our elders and an appreciation for the generations coming up underneath us.
3) With tolerance for methods that are different from ours, theories that even directly oppose or preclude our own work, and approaches, perceptions, and practises which do not align with our own experiences and 'cosmic conduct'.
4) With the understanding that we are a melting-pot; a collaboration of attitudes, philosophies, perspectives and positions, and none of them are sacrosanct, absolute, or infallible.
5) With the acknowledgement that, in the event the above are disregarded and blatantly broken, warnings will be issued, with Randall (the webmaster) notified for ultimate determination over handling the situation.
It hardly seems much to ask that we treat each other with respect, appreciation, the agreement to disagree, and to never forget that we are all bound by our love of astrology. We should be here to learn amongst each other, trading advice, exchanging experiences and growing as astrologers as well as people.
I appreciate your taking the time to read this, and, further, to consider its implementation. I feel that it could help get everyone onto the same page, and, hopefully, prevent further incidents of abuse and threads becoming wrecked by senseless hatred.
--
*(Patricia Evans, expert on interpersonal dynamics, and author of several related books and texts; a worthwhile source, in my opinion.)
Lindaland
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posted August 16, 2015 03:19 PM
posted August 17, 2015 12:34 PM
