posted August 19, 2015 03:28 AM            

I feel if i don't know why i love him,why out of all people did i have to feel so strongly for him(and i don't fall in love often..or at all and even if i did it was never this strong)that i won't get over him.And i've tired..i've tired for years to get over him yet i keep 'feeling' him around me.(boy do i have an imagination :rolls eyes .

I posted a request in another forum but didn't get much answers in terms of intuition.

I was hoping someone with astrology knowledge could help me out here.

I'll post the charts below in a bit.

posted August 19, 2015 04:33 AM            

My natal chart(birth time known)

Synastry(i'm on the inside-blue)

posted August 19, 2015 04:48 AM            

IMO, letting go of someone from the past or an unrequited love is a matter of your own natal, not the synastry. It's something all of us are supposed to learn, part of the lessons of life, let's call it "universal karma"

I saw your post in PR and people tried to tell pretty much the same thing.

Karma is that thing we are supposed to work on and integrate the lesson. We come in this life with nothing we can't handle; on the contrary, we pretty much incarnate because we want to learn those lessons, we asked for them because it is our time to learn them. So whatever is karmic in your life, is that thing you have the strongest power to work with and release the lesson.

What happened here? What was your relationship?

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 19, 2015 05:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Hi,

IMO, letting go of someone from the past or an unrequited love is a matter of your own natal, not the synastry. It's something all of us are supposed to learn, part of the lessons of life, let's call it "universal karma"

I saw your post in PR and people tried to tell pretty much the same thing.

Karma is that thing we are supposed to work on and integrate the lesson. We come in this life with nothing we can't handle; on the contrary, we pretty much incarnate because we want to learn those lessons, we asked for them because it is our time to learn them. So whatever is karmic in your life, is that thing you have the strongest power to work with and release the lesson.

What happened here? What was your relationship?

---

Well whatever is it,how do i let go-that's my main question really.I've tried and tried and nothing works.Hence the posts in the PR and here.

We were what you'd say online friends with benefits.Long story short,as you must have read what i wrote in the other thread,he says he doesn't feel the same about me like i do for him.

posted August 19, 2015 05:11 AM            

You are prone to obsession/compulsion in general, but particularly in relationships. It will be a lesson in this life for you, in love matters, to turn this square into its positive energy: intensity, focus and investments into worthwhile pursuits where love given is equal to love received.

With your configuration, there will probably be many instances in your love life when you will be forced to face your tendency for obsession and fixity in love and relationships, in order for you to learn to let go and have a balanced approach. With the square and so tight on angles and NN, you have great chances to integrate this lesson pretty soon.

But you need to consciously act on your own mind and behavior patterns, once you realize the need to channel this powerful configuration into something dynamic and balanced.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 19, 2015 05:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aurora_girl1990:
Well whatever is it,how do i let go-that's my main question really.I've tried and tried and nothing works.Hence the posts in the PR and here.

We were what you'd say online friends with benefits.Long story short,as you must have read what i wrote in the other thread,he says he doesn't feel the same about me like i do for him.

And i'm just trying very badly to move on.So good advice whether on karma or whatever is appreciated.

---

You let go by an act of will.
It's the only way for everyone.

You help yourself with spending your day, your energy, with a variety of interests you are passionate about. You organize yourself to do so and you banish compulsive behavior from your manner of acting. You use self-restraint and diversity in your daily life. Results will be seen pretty soon

I have no idea what online FWB means, how can this happen?/ with webcams or what? that's a new term for me. Anyway, no. FWB in general is a disaster, that's not a relationship based on mutual love and respect, and online FWB sounds even worse.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 19, 2015 05:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Soltze:
I'm not surprised you're having an hard time letting go with that 8th house interaction going on :-D

Plus the Venus/Alma conjunction.

---

What's the 8th house interaction? She doesn't even know where his Moon is.

What matters is that she is an 8th house and everything happening there is her own lesson with herself.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 19, 2015 06:00 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:

It will be a lesson in this life for you, in love matters, to turn this square into its positive energy: intensity, focus and investments into worthwhile pursuits where love given is equal to love received.

---

posted August 19, 2015 07:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
You have fixed Venus conj NN exact sq Pluto/Valentine on angles, with Pluto on IC in Scorpio.

You are prone to obsession/compulsion in general, but particularly in relationships. It will be a lesson in this life for you, in love matters, to turn this square into its positive energy: intensity, focus and investments into worthwhile pursuits where love given is equal to love received.

With your configuration, there will probably be many instances in your love life when you will be forced to face your tendency for obsession and fixity in love and relationships, in order for you to learn to let go and have a balanced approach. With the square and so tight on angles and NN, you have great chances to integrate this lesson pretty soon.

But you need to consciously act on your own mind and behavior patterns, once you realize the need to channel this powerful configuration into something dynamic and balanced.

---

I won't deny that i'm prone to that,to be fair i've 'obsessed' quite a bit about a few guys but never this level of intensity and with all of them i've also managed to let go sooner or later.

I was never afraid that if i didn't do anything to consciously let them go,i'd never get over them.I feel this way about him though and it's strange.

Plus obsession and love are two different things and you might disagree on whether it was love or not,and in a sense you might be right -it wasn't love as in terms of it being mutual etc but as far as feelings go i've only felt love for him.Hence i've only ever truly being in love with him.

posted August 19, 2015 07:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
You let go by an act of will.
It's the only way for everyone.

You help yourself with spending your day, your energy, with a variety of interests you are passionate about. You organize yourself to do so and you banish compulsive behavior from your manner of acting. You use self-restraint and diversity in your daily life. Results will be seen pretty soon

I have no idea what online FWB means, how can this happen?/ with webcams or what? that's a new term for me. Anyway, no. FWB in general is a disaster, that's not a relationship based on mutual love and respect, and online FWB sounds even worse.

---

Or you just let things run it's course :P.It worked pretty well for me so far.I always felt that the harder you try not to think about something,the bigger it's hold on you will be.So i generally let whatever catches my fancy run it's course.But then again i've never been in love with these people aside from attraction and like,so it's not the same.

Another hard part of letting go of him is letting go of the emotions i feel for him.For the first time in my whole life i've felt unconditional love for another being.Yes i act like a selfish person sometimes when i'm with him but it's less frequent that it is with others and ...

Have you ever felt something so beautiful that you just wanted to hold onto it and never let it go?Ever?I don't want a relationship so much as i want to be able to live in the love i feel for him.But i can't because he doesn't feel the same way about me and so i'm trying to move on as a result.

And i've learnt so much from my feelings for him that i can't help but feel that it's something more,something sent to 'wake' me up.It's heartbreaking that to think that it isn't mutual.

posted August 19, 2015 07:22 AM            

It all started when we met online and i was chatting with him.Then suddenly he told me a word and i felt like someone somewhere had said it to me before though i couldn't remember who or when.And i felt deep affection for him.

A day later(less than 20 hours to be exact)and i remember the exact moment when i knew i have fallen for him.It's undeniable.Almost like some past life thing and the word was just a trigger.

In my defense,although i've felt that familiar feeling of 'falling' for someone i've never fell in love with anyone since him.Not that way.Don't get me wrong,i've loved people even in romantic manner but fallen in love in that magical way..never.

I guess you could say i'm too 'controlled' to give up control that falling in love requires.The feeling of being helpless,tied to another person because you love them-i hate that..i don't ever love someone unless i Know they love me first.That's why what i feel for him is so strange,so unusual.I didn't know back then if he loved me or not yet i loved him fiercely.

Other strange things are the feeling of not being able to look at his picture because it was too 'intense' to look it,almost like looking at the sun,not being able to listen to his voice because it pierced right into my heart when i did and the feeling that all of what i feel for him is unreal,that HE himself is Unreal,that if we ever met it'd all fall apart and i'd be left with the shattered pieces of my dream.

Furthermore,one night i saw this being of light,a being made up of light that was in my room and strangely i wasn't afraid or anything.Instead i felt comforted by His presence..or it's presence.I say his because i felt it was him,the guy i love.I dunno why i felt that way i just did.

Before you jump the gun and say i was merely wanting it to be him,here's a fun fact for you.Months later whenever i used to think about that being to comfort myself i used to think it was my guide(i soon discovered about guides and ascension and the like the year after meeting him).Then one night it came back to me,the fact that i thought it was him.Besides i couldn't have thought it was my guide because i didn't know about guides back then you see.Yet i conveniently forgot about that and thought it was my guide.That proves something doesn't it?

I was in a very bad place before i met him and my love for him was the light that lit my way out of the darkness.

I used to feel i was a bad person,that i didn't deserve this or that etc but my love for him proved to me that if i could love someone as deeply and selflessly as i love him then there must be some good in me or else that wouldn't be possible.

With other people if i got mad at them i would stay mad for a long time but with him i couldn't stay mad at him for more than a couple of hours because the love i feel for him would 'win' so to speak.And because i finally understood that feelings like angry,hatred etc makes one separate from another person and i couldn't bear that separation from him.

I also learnt through analysizing my emotions and thoughts that there's a love that comes from the ego and there's a love that comes from something else,something deeper,possibly my soul.I've also learnt that ego is separation and love is what unifies us all.I've actually experienced it emotionally and through analayzing my emotions rather than just mentally.

Also my love for him is stronger than my ego,that i know.Which is why trying to get over him is torturing me.

Whenever i 'love' anyone,when i got mad at them i'd forgot /wouldn't be able to feel love for them.But with him,i knew i still loved him even when i was angry at him,which was rarely and briefly.

One could also say i had my 'spiritual awakening' after meeting him-i came across healing methods,topics on spirit guides,higher selves and ascension etc.And they resonate deeply with me even though i've spent 20 years trying to 'pray'.

I also learnt that sex can be very spiritual,that it can be a way of merging with someone,a way of expressing love.This is huge coming from someone who thought sex was 'dirty' etc.When i allow myself to feel it ,i feel that i want to merge with him..that close isn't close enough until we're one being.

Thing is when we're cybering online i can't allow myself to feel that because he says he doesn't feel anything for me aside from a good friend.

I've also felt that i'd recognize his energy signature anywhere and that the only difference between our energy signature is a 0.01% difference,a very small difference.Virtually identical.

Mind you ,all of what i describe above was before i even read about similar experiences by other people.True maybe i tapped into the collective unconscious and experienced it through there but it's also possible these are my experiences,all and only mine.

Although to be fair,the 'feeling' him around me part is after (and not before like the rest above)i read about it online and was wondering why i never felt it and i wanted to.Perhaps me wanting to open the 'gates' to feeling him or perhaps it's just a fulfilling thing.

I can't let go of what i feel for him.I can't unless i know there's something better-something that incorporates all that i feel for him and adds to it,making me realize that he was just a stepping stone preparing me for this something better.

Until then ,i don't think i can truly move on.

Ps.I've also felt that and these are the specific words "this won't work now,because we aren't suppose to meet now.The meeting was pushed forward because i needed to met him now".That was 5 years ago,a week after i met him.

Back then i didn't know why i needed to met him then.In hindsight i see that it's because i was in a bad place and needed love(even if it was my love for him) to get me out of that place.

I've also felt that "this isn't the first time i'm loving him,nor will it be the last" a few days after meeting him.Unusual for me as i've never felt that about anyone else-not with that certainty.

posted August 19, 2015 07:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aurora_girl1990:
Or you just let things run it's course :P.It worked pretty well for me so far.

---

How did it work, considering your OP?

Years and years obsessing over a guy online who is not part of your life loving you is just an unhealthy obsession. Period. Hence your request for guidance about this.

Of course I understand everything you say, that's why I stepped in here. I am a highly Plutonian myself, all personals except Moon in the 8th house, including Mars Pluto stellium in there.

There is a lower and higher vibration of every aspect. Its energy can be used for purposes taking us down; or up.

I understand what you say about feeling "alive" and awakened by what you feel for this person. This is a typical Venus sq Pluto line (and other hard Venus/Pluto aspects as well). However, the trick here is not to become imprisoned by those (unrequited/not based on reality) feelings to the point of preventing you to seek or find real life love someplace else. There is also the touch of "the one who got away" to Venus/Pluto, usually amplifying feelings where they aren't as strong as they seem. This too, is part of the lower vibration of this combination. "Unconditional love" is a dangerous argument for lingering into unrealistic connections.

The higher vibration of your powerful aspect is to acknowledge, get in touch for the first time with the kind of intensity you can feel and immediately apply it to other pursuits, while waiting or seeking a partner worthy of this intensity, one present in your life, and equally invested.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 19, 2015 07:48 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
How did it work, considering your OP?

Years and years obsessing over a guy online who is not part of your life loving you is just an unhealthy obsession. Period. Hence your request for guidance about this.

Of course I understand everything you say, that's why I stepped in here. I am a highly Plutonian myself, all personals except Moon in the 8th house, including Mars Pluto stellium in there.

There is a lower and higher vibration of every aspect. Its energy can be used for purposes taking us down; or up.

I understand what you say about feeling "alive" and awakened by what you feel for this person. This is a typical Venus sq Pluto line (and other hard aspects as well). However, the trick here is not to become imprisoned by those (unrequited/not based on reality) feelings to the point of preventing you to seek or find real life love someplace else. There is also the touch of "the one who got away" to Venus/Pluto, usually amplifying feelings where they aren't as strong as they seem. This too, is part of the lower vibration of this combination. "Unconditional love" is a dangerous argument for lingering into unrealistic connections.

The higher vibration of your powerful aspect is to acknowledge, get in touch for the first time with the kind of intensity you can feel and immediately apply it to other pursuits, while waiting or seeking a partner worthy of this intensity, one present in your life, and equally invested.

---

Strangely it didn't work with him because i never did it.I did the complete opposite of what i'd normal do and tried to suppress it.Trust me,if i was doing what i normally did,i wouldn't have posted here trying to get over him.Anyways you give good advice about applying the intensity to something else in life and then waiting for the right partner.

I'll do that and see what comes of it.

If anyone feels like chiming in after this post because of some insight or intuition ,or have thoughts to share,please feel free to do so.I'd like to hear them thoughts.

posted August 19, 2015 09:57 AM            

three things ive noticed in your birthchart:

1. You have your NN in the 7th house. you a serious karma about relationship to clear in this lifetime
2. Your Saturn is unaspected. You had some serious problems in your past life regarding authorities and people older than you. You were kind of rebel and this will be a problem in this lifetime too because Saturn energy is not functioning as it should. Its weak and cannot work well. You will struggle a lot. You will refuse to grow up, to embrace responsabilities and so on because of this aspect.
3. Venus square Pluto. This aspect is gonna bring you even more problems. I have it too and its not easy. NN in 7th house is gonna bring into your life all your past life karmic lovers to clear your karma with them. But with the Venus square Pluto, it will not be easy for you to love them as they are but to be obssesed about having them for your own needs. Venus square Pluto aspect is about obsession and tragic love. Its a very karmic and heavy aspect to deal with. Balance is what you need. Maturity is what you need to learn. To understand that love is a shared feeling. An equal emotion.

In the synastry with your boy, I see a Sun/NN conjunction. You are Sun and he is NN. You had a karma with him from a previous life. He learned the karmic lesson, you apparently... did not. In the composite you have all the karmic planets clustered together. More and more karma. Negative one. Necessary one.

Now, you feel like you loved him because of the karmic intensity but your encounter was not about love but about learning a lesson. In the past he was hurt badly by you and by other people close to you. Your love story did not end well but that wasnt because you were meant to love each other but because there were other things that matter back then.

posted August 20, 2015 05:35 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rosalind:
Lets talk a bit about you first.

three things ive noticed in your birthchart:

1. You have your NN in the 7th house. you a serious karma about relationship to clear in this lifetime
2. Your Saturn is unaspected. You had some serious problems in your past life regarding authorities and people older than you. You were kind of rebel and this will be a problem in this lifetime too because Saturn energy is not functioning as it should. Its weak and cannot work well. You will struggle a lot. You will refuse to grow up, to embrace responsabilities and so on because of this aspect.
3. Venus square Pluto. This aspect is gonna bring you even more problems. I have it too and its not easy. NN in 7th house is gonna bring into your life all your past life karmic lovers to clear your karma with them. But with the Venus square Pluto, it will not be easy for you to love them as they are but to be obssesed about having them for your own needs. Venus square Pluto aspect is about obsession and tragic love. Its a very karmic and heavy aspect to deal with. Balance is what you need. Maturity is what you need to learn. To understand that love is a shared feeling. An equal emotion.

In the synastry with your boy, I see a Sun/NN conjunction. You are Sun and he is NN. You had a karma with him from a previous life. He learned the karmic lesson, you apparently... did not. In the composite you have all the karmic planets clustered together. More and more karma. Negative one. Necessary one.

Now, you feel like you loved him because of the karmic intensity but your encounter was not about love but about learning a lesson. In the past he was hurt badly by you and by other people close to you. Your love story did not end well but that wasnt because you were meant to love each other but because there were other things that matter back then.

Move on. The karmic lesson for you will go on but with other people. For him, it was learned.

---

I've been reading and re-reading your post and i think you're right.

After all karmic partners can be felt very deeply as well-karma is a strong bond.That must be it.

Besides i've always felt that i hurt him in another life,funny you should mention that.

I'll move on and learn my lessons in other relationships as well.

posted August 21, 2015 07:04 AM            

I have natal saturn exactly conjunct composite Venus.
He has natal saturn exactly conjunct composite Saturn.

This would mean i would feel restricted in the 'love' department and him restricted in the 'sex' department which i feel is true from my point of view about being restricted in the 'love' department.

Also his natal neptune conjunct both of the Composite Saturn-Uranus conjunction and my natal Uranus conjunct the composite saturn-neptune conjunction.

Interestingly his venus-neptune conjunction in the natal chart(orb 4 a tad bit wide i know) is exactly on the Composite saturn-uranus conjunction,with nNeptune on cSaturn and nVenus on composite uranus.
To add to this it is interesting about our natal planets to composite chiron aspects.

I have natal sun square cChiron and nMoon quincnix cChiron while he has nVenus opposite cChiron and nMars trine cChiron.

Now when i put in the asteroids it gets even more interesting.

We have a nAngel square nAngel(exact) and a nValentine square nValentine(orb 3).

So in the composite,Angel is square valentine exact.When compared to our natal charts:

His nAngel is opposite cValentine(exact) and square cAngel(exact).

My nAngel is conjunct cValentine(exact) and square cAngel(exact).

His nValentine is conjunct cAngel(orb 2.5) and square cValentine(exact).

posted August 21, 2015 02:51 PM            

Or it isn't there.

I'll look and see if you're on the tropical-to-sidereal thread, as it seems as if your case might be classic for that kind of investigation.

If, however, you find that you're the only one 'carrying the torch', you have to ask why, and learn to set it down. The burden -- and onus -- isn't on anyone but you.