Lindaland
  Interpersonal Astrology
  BF asks the same question on repeat. What placement causes this?

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   BF asks the same question on repeat. What placement causes this?
Cappi112
Knowflake

Posts: 141
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015

posted October 07, 2015 04:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cappi112     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a little quirky, but I am curious:

My SO is extremely intelligent, and has a memory of steel. He's high up in his field, a mathematician, went to an Ivy League, and has deep sensitivities for the people in his life. He remembers everything I've done to him, but he plays an interesting game of 'playing dumb....'

Since early on, I noticed he will ask certain questions on repeat with me. Usually they are about things I think he's somewhat insecure over. I have gotten the question: "Have you always had a high sex drive?", for instance, about 350 times. He's asked many times if I have ever hooked up with a certain type of guy I know he's intimidated by. He asks the same question about previous relationships again and again. He asks the question, usually in the midst of a flirtatious kinda convo, I always answer the same thing, and he's satisfied.

I *think* this might be a way of testing me. I used to be nervous he had a really bad memory, until I noticed the pattern haha. It never turns into a big convo, it's sort of just sneakily thrown into conversation and then once I answer he says nothing. My hunch is he may be trying to make sure the answer never changes (meaning I've lied or something in the past about it). Or he still can't believe the answer.

He has saturn, mercury and uranus on top of each other in his 1st house,squaring his mars.

His quirky testing pattern could also be part of his scorpio venus, but I was wondering what kinds of placements would give this to a person? It's sort of a cute insecurity pattern - doesn't bug me. But his slip is showing, so to speak...

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 5496
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2015 05:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mine does the same thing. I also used to buy into the 'terrible memory' theory. Ohhhh, no. He's just a very practised manipulator, and actual psychological operator when -- or if -- he wants to be. However, in the few cases it seems legitimately so:

We've found it related to emotion. If there's a certain investment, then it's very likely to be strongly encoded. Whereas if he wasn't 'invested' in the experience (conversation, relaying of information, etcetera) it may never have left his short term memory. Salience is what makes or breaks it.

He's an 8H water MERC. Retro. It's also in a T-Square with his MOON and MARS, interestingly enough. 8H SUN, too.

IP: Logged

Cappi112
Knowflake

Posts: 141
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015

posted October 07, 2015 05:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cappi112     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Mine does the same thing. I also used to buy into the 'terrible memory' theory. Ohhhh, no. He's just a very practised manipulator, and actual psychological operator when -- or if -- he wants to be. However, in the few cases it seems legitimately so:

We've found it related to emotion. If there's a certain investment, then it's very likely to be strongly encoded. Whereas if he wasn't 'invested' in the experience (conversation, relaying of information, etcetera) it may never have left his short term memory. Salience is what makes or breaks it.

He's an 8H water MERC. Retro. It's also in a T-Square with his MOON and MARS, interestingly enough. 8H SUN, too.


Perfect description - strongly encoded yes. It is kind of like a certain convo we have together triggers this - usually the ones where we're um, lovin on each other in a more lusty way. It's kinda like "I love when you do this" and then he has this knee jerk "Yeah that's always been great. So, like, have you ever done that with any other guy..?"

MMmmhmmm yes I are onto you sir.

8H I had not thought of - fears, sexuality.. duh. Hahaha. I am the one of the two of us with a crapload of 8H - he has a bit more 12H.

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 5496
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2015 11:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ahh, that's interesting.

Mine's all Scorp, his is 8H.

We do have some interesting 12H overlays as well. We've both got a bit of 12H energy; my VENUS, his NEPTUNE.

Does your boyfriend's involve his IC or 4H? Interesting enough, in mine, NEP is his 4R, too. With an 0° conjunction with his CHIRON. Yeah.

IP: Logged

Cappi112
Knowflake

Posts: 141
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015

posted October 08, 2015 02:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cappi112     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Ahh, that's interesting.

Mine's all Scorp, his is 8H.

We do have some interesting 12H overlays as well. We've both got a bit of 12H energy; my VENUS, his NEPTUNE.

Does your boyfriend's involve his IC or 4H? Interesting enough, in mine, NEP is his 4R, too. With an 0° conjunction with his CHIRON. Yeah.


Ohhh Auby that makes sense to me - the Neptune conjunction with Chiron would cause a lot of fogginess with his words, I would imagine.

Mine has a rough chart for self-expression. Something my friends all disapproved of when they've met him is he averts eye contact and can be very stand offish - he is really shy and insecure at heart. (my friends are all socially savvy extroverts. I know how to play that game, but secretly am so introverted it hurts and BF and I have bonded over that a lot in life).

His chiron is in his 7th (retrograding), almost exactly opposite his mercury in the 1st. There's also a ton of square/ conjunction aspect going on with his mercury in his chart.

Jupiter is right on his IC, but Mars is also right there next to that. Jupiter squares saturn, so his IC is hit with that Saturn square basically. Heaviness.

IP: Logged

bansheequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 1363
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012

posted October 08, 2015 08:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bansheequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh my god. My boyfriend does this hardcore. And hes got the whole clueless pisces sun going for him haha. But underneath that is a hard driving aries moon and aqua venus that approaches love methodically and cerebrally...

I think they want validation. Like they want you to tell you wan to hear, but also they kind of are hoping you will slip up and reveal the truth. The more they ask and hear the "right" answer, the more they feel secure that you are telling the truth.

He always asks if Ive done this with someone before. It is when it comes to sexual things, relationship things and even just random things Id never expect like shopping at home depot. The worst thing is he knows that my ex is the certain type of guy he is intimidated by.... but I think he just wants to hear me say how much worse he is in every way.

Its gotten to the point where I am simply not flirtatious or sexual with him unless he instigates it heavily. I get really upset when he shows this kind of mistrust so Id rathe just avoid it. Even clothes Ive just thrown away because Im tired of him asking "you wore THAT when you were single?" I dont even own a ******* bikini anymore. But no matter because we dont go swimming since its just gonna be a headache.

He doesnt really have much going on in his 8th or 12 houses. His chiron opposes my sun and mercury and squares my mars. Im not too knowlegable on chiron.. My chiron squares his moon and mercury. Opposite his north node. In synastry most of my cap stellium is in his 12th house. his jupiter in my 12. My MC lines up with this 6th house cusp and IC with his 12th. Oh and my chiron falls in his 6th. His north node in my 6th. Oh and my mars in right on his IC.

Sorry that was a LOT

IP: Logged

Cappi112
Knowflake

Posts: 141
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015

posted October 08, 2015 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cappi112     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
oh my god. My boyfriend does this hardcore. And hes got the whole clueless pisces sun going for him haha. But underneath that is a hard driving aries moon and aqua venus that approaches love methodically and cerebrally...

I think they want validation. Like they want you to tell you wan to hear, but also they kind of are hoping you will slip up and reveal the truth. The more they ask and hear the "right" answer, the more they feel secure that you are telling the truth.

He always asks if Ive done this with someone before. It is when it comes to sexual things, relationship things and even just random things Id never expect like shopping at home depot. The worst thing is he knows that my ex is the certain type of guy he is intimidated by.... but I think he just wants to hear me say how much worse he is in every way.

Its gotten to the point where I am simply not flirtatious or sexual with him unless he instigates it heavily. I get really upset when he shows this kind of mistrust so Id rathe just avoid it. Even clothes Ive just thrown away because Im tired of him asking "you wore THAT when you were single?" I dont even own a ******* bikini anymore. But no matter because we dont go swimming since its just gonna be a headache.

He doesnt really have much going on in his 8th or 12 houses. His chiron opposes my sun and mercury and squares my mars. Im not too knowlegable on chiron.. My chiron squares his moon and mercury. Opposite his north node. In synastry most of my cap stellium is in his 12th house. his jupiter in my 12. My MC lines up with this 6th house cusp and IC with his 12th. Oh and my chiron falls in his 6th. His north node in my 6th. Oh and my mars in right on his IC.

Sorry that was a LOT


Ohh bummer, yeah this can definitely get out of control - this insecurity. But he shouldn't be making you feel bad about your past;that is too far. You should be able to own a bikini, dammit! haha.

The questions sound similar, but usually my guy stops once I answer and he doesn't press in a way that bothers me - I just noticed it was a little quirky and realized it wasn't his memory being fuzzy; it was actually just the way you described - needing to hear me say the same thing again and again so he is 'satisfied' ha.

In your case, that's a jealousy thing he needs to keep in check.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2015

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a