posted November 23, 2015 03:26 PM            

The synastry chart (I'm the 8/23/1978 inner circle):

The composite chart:

Basically we've talked off and on. She does have a boyfriend and two kids to him though, though it sounds like she's not happy in the whole deal. Yet it's her kids' dad.

Oftentimes when I leave for the night she'll come from behind the counter and give me a hug, I chalked it up to just being friendly, but I've developed feelings for her, and it's been hitting me since at least August, probably before. She shares personal stuff with me at times (like stuff she does with her kids).

I did ask her out for a coffee once, that's when she told me she still had the guy (She hadn't really mentioned him in the months we were talking but would talk about her kids a bit, hence my taking a chance and not thinking about it too much, but also in the back of my mind I wasn't sure).

I haven't been able to shake it. The other night I was in one of the cooks said about her having a new boyfriend, and he didn't know what the deal was with the original guy. I didn't directly question her about it, though I was able to find out from her that she still has her original guy. I also overheard her say along the lines before the cook told me "new boyfriend" that he said "she had a thing for the one other cook" and I overhear only part of it and she says "as a good friend." It's well known I like this girl, and yes I've been keeping my eyes open elsewhere.

I had offered earlier to do some synastry charts for her and her guy a month or so ago and she said sure, as we have a common interest in astrology. (and then didn't actually get to see her for a month, though I emailed a couple of the findings and she never replied but later said she read part of it and did tell me it was insightful. They have some good aspects but also a few red flag aspects). I had the printouts of the composite chart and was waiting to give them to her (figured it'd be more reliable than email) when I heard this boyfriend/good friend thing. (I think this other cook may be exaggerating but I'm not sure). How I asked if she had the guy was "the charts I did IS still relevant, right? You still have your guy, right?" She said yes.

I also am planning on moving at least a half hour away or more within the next month to be closer to my work as the commute is murder right now. Even if she were to be free and we started dating, it'd be at least an hour drive between our homes at that point.

She barely has time to check email and I don't have her number to text, perhaps it's best I don't have her number. And she's always exhausted from everything going on. She knows she can talk to me about anything, and she's pretty much summarized "a lot's going on in my life right now" without really explaining much.

I do tend to tip her heavily too. While a lot of it is me liking her a lot, I've told her I'm helping her out from losing a couple hours of work the one day she had car trouble, and to help her afford things for her kids. (That and she floated her guy for a few months when he was between jobs so I like helping her out with that too).

I guess ultimately my question is:
- Is this just a chart of a couple good friends?
- Is there more to this?
- If more came, would it be to our mutual benefit or could it even work?
- Should I just move on and lose touch?

My impulse right now is, bury my feelings and just go in and talk to her as a friend at least until my move, and see if she'll stay in touch with me for whatever reason (I'm waiting until right before my move to even think of asking her number). Clearly even if anything happens in the future, it won't be for now. And I do feel like I need more experience before I could even think of being a proper boyfriend if it came anyways (my longest anything has been one month, and next longest was three days, and I can count the number of women I've done anything with beyond just hang out on one hand).

Transit-wise she and her guy are both two years from their Saturn Returns, and right now transit Nessus is opposing my sun which is kiting a Thor's Hammer by transit from my Libra Stellium square my natal Nessus/Sirius, both semisquare my Sun and sesquiquadrate transit Nessus. So it's sounding like and feeling like this isn't the right time for either of us anyways IF we were to ever get together anyhow. My sun and saturn are also conjunct and square my Ascendant/Descendant so I've got a brutal Grand Cross by transit beginning to open up (again, Neptune just crossed over the last couple years!)

Also, my progressed midheaven JUST entered Scorpio last month, I'm not finding a lot on that either. So I'm in a transitional period regardless.

So half the people I've asked said go for it if she opens up, and another half of the respondents are like "this wouldn't work, although there could be fun at first" (that's the general feeling).

posted November 23, 2015 03:57 PM            

What is the urgency? Where do you think it's coming from? I've noticed there's a dual SUN-MOON thing going on, with the Taurus being in orb, and the Virgo one being ambient, and only by-sign. So there's a definite earthy simpatico.

But what's up with her SUN on your MOON/CHIRON, eh? What dark demons has she been excavating in your psyche? Is your VENUS/MARS=PLUTO actually quincunx your MOON/CHIRON?

posted November 23, 2015 04:31 PM            

I've been wired lately in general. I'm not sure if it's my progressed midheaven just having changed signs.

I did leave out that when I asked her out for the coffee, she did say she'd be willing to go for a coffee as a friend "if she could ever get away from the kids." (that was without me asking for that either). Hasn't happened yet and given her work schedule I doubt it will. That was a few months ago.

Physically it could be I'm tired of being alone.

I will say during this whole time, I did have an encounter with a random stranger about a couple months ago (actually at the tail end of the last Solar Eclipse). Neither me or this random expected this (I do carry precautions just in case). I haven't said anything to her about this, though I'm sure her one coworker who was at the one bar in question said something as he was at the same place. She hasn't confronted me about it or really changed how she interacts with me, so if she was disappointed, she hasn't shown it.

Doesn't sound like she's particularly invested in me now that I think about it.

I do know that one coworker my friend too and wouldn't mind being with her (as would almost all of the guys in that place except maybe the one gay server... and interestingly enough the gay coworker had a crisis with his boyfriend that she, I and the other coworker counseled him through that same night earlier (the same night with me and the random). Lots of strange stuff going on that night).

I think part of it was seeing the more positive aspects in our synastry, especially her Mars and Venus trining my Libra Stellium (and most women I've interacted with in the past have had very hard aspects to either that stellium or my sun, and this I've noticed in retrospect months or years after the fact). That and I saw a potential for major trouble in the charts I did for her and her man. I did alert her of this and to be vigilant as a precaution as I would for any other couple that I would do a chart for.

So part of it I think is... probably some insecurity on my part, and part of it is me worrying about her. When I should be working on myself. I'm very bad at this patience thing, and previous women I've liked it's... I'm noticing I'm repeating mistakes. In fact, I actually just asked a woman I'm still a friend with (who was one of my previous requiteds) her advice. (Hers was don't pursue, largely because of the her kids and their dad thing. She did ask if there was any abuse going on, which my friend hasn't alluded to).

posted November 23, 2015 04:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BlackSeraph:
Doesn't sound like she's particularly invested in me now that I think about it.

... probably some insecurity on my part, and part of it is me worrying about her. When I should be working on myself.

---

Nail on the head. I think the scattered energy is diverting you from where it should really be focussed -- upon you. Definitely take this time to do some soul-searching. It's usually these complicated 'at a distance' things, which tend to be mostly fuelled by us -- rather than the other person -- that are karmic soulmates popping through, a bit like 'single serving soulmates', to redirect our focus and get us more back in touch with us.

So, you're tired of being alone, but not yet truly ready for a Relationship, due to some wounds that still need to heal.

posted November 23, 2015 04:57 PM            

Not sure what's best for my healing process at this point, and at the same time it seems she needs a friend too. Honestly it feels like I shouldn't cut ALL contact for some reason.

posted November 23, 2015 05:29 PM            

I haven't read through your feedback intensively yet as like to interpret a chart with the minimum of preconceived notions.
your composite is very striking as it shows the north node conjunct the ascendant and Neptune with destiny conjunct the south node and the descendant.

reality to the side, this shows a specific spiritual connection between you. node on the ascendant gives a strong psychic/telepathic connection between you. with Neptune on the node, this psychic connection has spiritual content and can show a previous life connection.
the psychic connection shows you know each other thoughts and feelings intuitively. But the caution necessary with this aspect is that you may feel the need to control or direct her thoughts and ideas. often this aspect will lead to conflict if both partners are head strong and independent.
juno is square the node so there is strong impulse for a formal long term relationship .
this node ascendant/Neptune clearly shows karmic thread between you and this is accentuated by destiny on the descendant.

clearly this is an important relationship for both of you spiritually and you should not think of the mundane aspects of the relationship as much as you should strive to remain in good graces with her.

posted November 23, 2015 09:22 PM            

I know in a month I hadn't seen anything from her I felt what could be described as "pings" from her. I'm fairly certain it was her (though I don't believe she's consciously aware of it, at least she hasn't indicated it). She did say at one point that her "subconscious was playing tricks on [her]".

posted November 24, 2015 07:00 PM            

I did check a few other asteroids and noticed something in the composite when I compared it to my chart and hers as well.

In composite itself:
Composite 1582 Martir conjunct Composite Midheaven
Composite 2031 BAM square Composite Vertex (just over 1 deg orb)
Composite 1866 Sisyphus Opposite Composite Mars

Composite 2063 Bacchus conjunct My Sun/Regulus
Composite 3671 Dionysus conjunct My Descendant
Composite 1896 Beer conjunct My Neptune

In synastry:
Her 1896 Beer conjunct My Pluto
Her 3671 Dionysus/Mercury conjunct My 9795 Deprez in Taurus, and Apex a yod from my Pluto/Venus (and by extension Mars) in Libra and my Neptune in Sagittarius. My 666 Desdemona kites this in Scorpio (~2 degree orb).

My 1896 Beer conjunct Her Mars (~2 degree orb)
My 2063 Bacchus conjunct Her Midheaven
My 3671 Dionysus conjunct Her Venus
My 2031 BAM conjunct Her Pluto, opposite her Jupiter

Practically all of our interaction has been at her place of work (where she's a bartender) or the other local bar where she sometimes goes after work if she has time (and which I routinely pop in from time to time since I've moved out here in June 2014, long before I knew she went there at all).

She has also told me she wants to open her own bar someday. One of her coworkers told me about that too. (I did tell her coworker if I had a million dollars I'd invest, and the coworker was like "really?!"). My feelings regardless, I know she'd do very well as she knows what she's doing.

Since moving out here I've found I like the selection of craft beers in the region. (I considered starting a blog giving my own perspective reviews on the brews, but don't have the time at this moment to really start one as I'm barely keeping up with another astrology blog I started).

posted December 26, 2015 07:15 AM            

It was confirmed she started seeing another guy she worked with (and overlapped that with her now ex-boyfriend).

This angered me and I sent a parting text, basically "thanks for helping me with my decision to move elsewhere. Be nice if you could have said something. Good luck. See ya.". My intention wasn't "have a nice life" but two people who I've talked about this to said that's effectively what it sounded like.

Two weeks later, while I was on checking my gmail, she blocked me on Google+/Hangouts. (Literally, it switched from "Add to Circles" to "Restricted" in two page loads.) Why she waited I have no idea.

I wasn't going to go back in and watch her with the new guy, and I was angered and hurt that she couldn't say anything to me.

Though I tried to send a mea culpa for my reaction, I doubt she got that as I think she blocked my cell number too (and we finally exchanged numbers that night).

Screw it. I move after I wake up.