Lindaland
  Interpersonal Astrology
  Is this a marriage-worthy composite?

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Is this a marriage-worthy composite?
margym0o
Knowflake

Posts: 589
From: Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted November 26, 2015 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
These two are talking about getting engaged in the new year, been together almost 2 years already. Would it be a long/happy marriage or is there trouble on the horizon?

IP: Logged

thegrinning_cat
Knowflake

Posts: 88
From:
Registered: Jun 2015

posted November 26, 2015 07:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thegrinning_cat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Looks very promising to me.

Love Stellium in Cancer for stability, Moon trine Pluto for intensity, Neptune on the DC for romance.

Not sure about the Uranus/Mars thing, which is unaspected.
Could be some unresolved troubles there or ruptures.
And Mars should be aspected by other planets aswell…

Still, I'm jealous of them.

IP: Logged

Soltze
Knowflake

Posts: 1073
From:
Registered: Mar 2015

posted November 26, 2015 07:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Soltze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It looks good to me. Ruler of the 7th in 5th, means they will manage to build a family while staying in love/having fun together.

I'm usually wary of Neptune on the DSC but it's not badly aspected.

Moon in the 8th is very intense emotionally but since it's not badly aspected either, it's fine.

Chiron on the North Node means they have a life mission together. It's opposite the Mars/SN conjunction in the 6th. There might be some anger flare ups, but I think the chart overall is positive.

Psyche trine Eros is likely to be a soulmate sign but I'm not sure if it's as relevant as the conjunction.

I tend to Forget what I've seen in the chart while writing the answer.

IP: Logged

angel4845
Knowflake

Posts: 2012
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 26, 2015 10:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel4845     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
loving that isis conjunct osiris in the composite in the 7th house, it does look quite promising i do have to say. and I'm quite jealous that saturn is being friendly in this composite grrrr jelloooo. and I'm honestly been noticing so many conjunctions to the south node as indicators of a marriage NO JOKE have no idea why. guess it gives the couple a strong feeling of familiarity of relation to one another in the relationship, a spiritual fated feeling i must say.

------------------
Sun Capricorn, Moon Aries, Libra Rising

IP: Logged

margym0o
Knowflake

Posts: 589
From: Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted November 27, 2015 05:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds promising!

IP: Logged

todd
Knowflake

Posts: 381
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted November 27, 2015 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the sun/Venus/mercury stelliums gives a spontaneous affection with a joyoius demeanor between them..l.ots of fun and laughter.the opposition to Jupiter bodes feeling of a marriage as it adds support in caring. the sextile /trine of Saturn to this opposition suggests a stable relationship.
the the mars/south node/uranus stellium opposed to the chiron/north node conjunction is extremely problematic.
as a friend , I believe this aspect is what makes you ask about the potential marriage as she is totally head over heels with this personal magnetism and does not have the objectivity that you have as the moon is opposed to psyche showing here idealistic love of him.
he is extremely independent and quirky or unusual.what she sees as his singular attractive traits ,other may see has selfishness, bombast or edgy as he is not the type of guy your friend is usually attracted to.
with Neptune conjunct he vertex ,there can be a feeling that there are hidden dynamics at play, though this can also show a sensitive and spiritual bent. and with the Jupiter/Uranus midpoint conjunct to the vertex ,there is a indication of a divorce if marriage is consummated. The Jupiter/juno midpoint is conjunct Neptune, so again some veil seems to be over the marriage. with Neptune added ,there could be hidden financial problems.
the mars/pluto midpoint is square to the moon/psyche opposition so there is some question as to whether he feels and respects the idealistic affection that she has for him .
the moon/Saturn midpoint is also conjunct to Neptune and the descendant . this is a aspect of devotion, but with Neptune there is again a sense of duplicity. Though if he is a sensitive and "spiritual" type the augury might not be unfavorable. but with the mars/Uranus/chiron/node pattern, I think him more materialistic than spiritual.

but major problematic aspect is that the sun/moon midpoint is opposed to pluto. the sun/moon midpoint shows the base on which the relationship rest. here, opposed to pluto , their is no intimacy or love but pure selfishness. this is a very unfavorable aspect because relationships and marriage are based on(hopefully) a merging of the souls. but here it is base on selfishness. Simply put ,there is no "We" in this composite.
todd

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6129
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 27, 2015 07:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by angel4845:
loving that isis conjunct osiris in the composite in the 7th house.

It's out of orb. We like to cap it at 3º in a composite, and 3º30 for synastry -- within reason. This is about 3º20. So, I wouldn't hang my hat on it.

Besides, even an exact ISIS-OSIRIS can be a dud.

IP: Logged

angel4845
Knowflake

Posts: 2012
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 27, 2015 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel4845     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
It's out of orb. We like to cap it at 3º in a composite, and 3º30 for synastry -- within reason. This is about 3º20. So, I wouldn't hang my hat on it.

Besides, even an exact ISIS-OSIRIS can be a dud.


Okay then im interested in knowing why wouldn't you be impressed with an ISIS and Osiris conjunction in the 7th house? I understand it's out of orb but it is nice to see these two asteroids in the same sign in such a beautiful house in the sign capricorn.

------------------
Sun Capricorn, Moon Aries, Libra Rising

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6129
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 27, 2015 09:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
Would it be a long/happy marriage or is there trouble on the horizon?

After barely 2 years, there's no way to know.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and probably draw quite a bit of ire. I don't think we should be using astrology to definitely answer these types of questions -- such as, 'should these two people get engaged?' and, 'would it be a good marriage?'

There is simply no way to know.

Truth is, we all go into a marriage with the best of intentions, and banish any thoughts of dissolution. We also tend to lie to ourselves -- a lot -- ignoring mismatched expectations in favour of being seduced by the honeymoon period. Glaring incompatibilities are worn down to minor compromises, and the first difficult tSATURN is going to blow the doors off of anything that's been minimised or disregarded. And, the other truth is, we all have our reasons for doing so.

Most marriages come together as a result of proper timing, practical decision-making (such as the desire to raise a family) and having decided that our partner is good enough, and preferable to being alone, drawing the criticism of ageing family, kindly judgement of peers, and, the resolution to not muddle through another Valentine's Day or Christmas solo.

But, as most averagely-married folk will tell you, having been on the merry-go-round themselves: good enough is not necessarily enough. Something that the members of the AAMFT have been saying for ages. But, ahhhhh, l'amour. We all want to believe the DeBeers' adverts: that it's forever. Sometimes, it is. Many times, it's not.

So, this is a better measure of predicting marital happiness than astrology alone, and, is best to be undertaken after the couple has been in a committed, romantic cohabitation for the past 5 years:

1) Are they both satisfied with their sexual relationship and its frequency?
This is where it's crucial that the partner that isn't (and, stereotypes aside, it is most often the woman, or, to be politically-correct here, the partner most oriented towards a feminine expression) is up front about the incompatibility, because what was working in the first 18 months is usually a FAR cry from what's needed after it. Left unchecked with a silently growing mismatch, this can prove sufficient cause of a 'no-fault' grounds for divorce. It's insidious, too. Gotta watch that one very closely, and approach it with complete honesty. In the majority of marriages (we'll say here in the western world, just to maintain sharper accuracy) there's a disparity of libido with need for compromises to be made in the bedroom. That's normal up to a point. When compromises are made to the extreme, resentment will build and erode the couple's overall marital satisfaction over time.

Crudely, 'it's the f*cking you're getting, versus the f*cking you're getting'. Indeed, many sins are forgiven under the banner of an exceptional -- not average -- sexual compatibility.

2) Mismatched expectations don't only lead to sexual disparity, but also a conflict of values.
Marriage is sold to us as 'until death do us part', meaning that prepared couples enter into it having done actuarial-levels of research in order to predict how aligned each are with the other's basic system of values. (Who knew The Newlywed Game was actually so helpful?) The diciest areas are going to involve shared resources, of course. Most don't care too much about what a partner does with their own finances. But what their partner does with their joint finances? Ohhh, that can be very, very telling. Couples can also find great disparity in what they consider of value, and even 'appraise' these values very differently. And, unless it crosses into 'against the other's morals' territory, it's usually not a deal-breaker -- just an area of stress of which to be mindful.

3) In-laws.
Believe it or not, but there's a reason why the neighbours called the cops on otherwise mild-mannered Paul Simon and his wife of decades, Edie Brickell for a domestic violence dispute. Edie's parents were in town, and things escalated very quickly. So, before tying the knot, all hopeful spouses should ensure that all instances in which they'll be interacting with their 'new family' are -- not just cordial -- but pleasant. Another major cause of marital dissolution in the first ten years is one spouse having a closely bonded relationship with their parents, who have an antagonistic one with their spouse. It grates.

4) Whether they are mutually decided upon being co-parents, committed to staying childless together, or equally undecided in which it's not a priority for either.
For young couples looking to kickstart their future, 'settling down' often involves baby making three -- or more. Generally-speaking, they're both on board one way or the other. Problems arise where one has independently determined parenting to be a part of their ultimate destiny, and the other has not. Marrying then, under the banner of 'they'll change' or the other will come around to the other's perspective -- Danger, Will Robinson! Many an otherwise compatible marriage has dissolved over the mismatched expectation of family-creation, with the tacit belief that one would simply match the other's over time. No.

5) Last, but not leas -- if this is a second-marriage, (or even 'second marriage') and kids from a prior coupling are involved, is the relationship between the potential spouse and the other's child a good one?
Is it decent but not great? Is it antagonistic? Even the most troubled marriages, wracked with issues from the aforementioned four domains can withstand the impact in the face of an exemplary stepparent-stepchild relationship. Though, beware, this can lead to the child being utilised as a pawn in times of trouble, and children are not chess pieces. Nonetheless, it tends to fall under the category of 'staying together for the kids', and can be surprisingly effective.

Some particulars.

As the average infatuational period resolves around 18 months, the union must be carefully reconsidered post a a very hot toddy, indeed: the dopamine-serotonin-oxytocin cocktail is seductive and powerfully intoxicating.

Real love, the likes of which romance novels boast, and self-help manuals approve will shine brightest after this gestation period, proving that a genuine attachment has been formed, and is likely to be based in shared values, compatible sexuality, and mutually-conducive lifestyles -- even cosmologies.

Where it really does become a serious issue leading to lawyers getting involved, is when HONESTY is not at the forefront and welcomed into every major decision. This is where each have to realise they are ultimately damaging -- not sparing -- their partner from the uncomfortable truth that will paint them in a less-than-ideal light.

I always advise my clients to DO IT. Be bold. Be courageous. BE who they are -- not who they believe their partner is most desiring them to be. They will be exceedingly grateful in the long-term, when their marriage is working. Because they were brave enough to keep a personal high standard -- even in the face of scarcity, and fearing they would never find anyone. And, they went into it with total honesty, presenting themselves as they really are -- and their partner did the same.

When the above is in place, we can begin evaluating the composite in terms of what KIND of marriage the two might have, and, yes, its strengths and weaknesses. But to rest such a thing as whether or not it will be successful or fail is too much upon the shoulders of a composite. That's not what it was intended to do.

Instead, run the commonsense checks, and then approach the astrology.

That's my best advice -- as an astrologer of 25 years, and a therapist for the last several (with training since '99). Not to mention as one who is married. (All mileage will vary, but it may help in terms of empathy and experience.)

IP: Logged

angel4845
Knowflake

Posts: 2012
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 27, 2015 09:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel4845     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@ aubyanne "staying together for the kids" what a good excuse for a married couple to be together and being under pressure of the thought of "tradition"....i can understand that one for sure. Nice Analysis!

------------------
Sun Capricorn, Moon Aries, Libra Rising

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6129
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 28, 2015 12:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by angel4845:
@ aubyanne "staying together for the kids" what a good excuse for a married couple to be together and being under pressure of the thought of "tradition"....i can understand that one for sure. Nice Analysis!

Thanks, Angel.

Yeah, I hope my overall take-home message didn't get lost in the muddle of an INSANE 48 hours.

Most marriages happen because they don't want to be alone. The non-schizoid crowd are genuinely social, and companion-needing individuals. Humanity, as a whole, seeks to pair-bond. (Something 'we Vulcans' basically shake our head at, going ' ... well, okay, if you must ... ' but that's neither here nor there.) Then, most marriages are maintained out of established habit. That's why the American (or, western, at this point) system of legal separation prior to divorce is smart. It takes care of the habituation part of the equation.

But the greater problem is the reticence to be alone, thus, a willingness to marry a spouse who isn't really well suited; just 'good enough' -- which, as we've all seen, many times just isn't.

IP: Logged

angel4845
Knowflake

Posts: 2012
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 28, 2015 02:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel4845     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Thanks, Angel.

Yeah, I hope my overall take-home message didn't get lost in the muddle of an INSANE 48 hours.

Most marriages happen because [b]they don't want to be alone. The non-schizoid crowd are genuinely social, and companion-needing individuals. Humanity, as a whole, seeks to pair-bond. (Something 'we Vulcans' basically shake our head at, going ' ... well, okay, if you must ... ' but that's neither here nor there.) Then, most marriages are maintained out of established habit. That's why the American (or, western, at this point) system of legal separation prior to divorce is smart. It takes care of the habituation part of the equation.

But the greater problem is the reticence to be alone, thus, a willingness to marry a spouse who isn't really well suited; just 'good enough' -- which, as we've all seen, many times just isn't.[/B]


oh no! of course not! i actually loved your analysis and how you were able to break down the issue of knowing if astrology can give the answer of "what" is a compatible marriage composite supposed to look like? etc. and what is even marriage and why two people end up being together i just loved what you wrote it was amazing! and i basically agree about everything you wrote above.

------------------
Sun Capricorn, Moon Aries, Libra Rising

IP: Logged

margym0o
Knowflake

Posts: 589
From: Canada
Registered: Jul 2014

posted November 29, 2015 08:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by todd:
the sun/Venus/mercury stelliums gives a spontaneous affection with a joyoius demeanor between them..l.ots of fun and laughter.the opposition to Jupiter bodes feeling of a marriage as it adds support in caring. the sextile /trine of Saturn to this opposition suggests a stable relationship.
the the mars/south node/uranus stellium opposed to the chiron/north node conjunction is extremely problematic.
as a friend , I believe this aspect is what makes you ask about the potential marriage as she is totally head over heels with this personal magnetism and does not have the objectivity that you have as the moon is opposed to psyche showing here idealistic love of him.
he is extremely independent and quirky or unusual.what she sees as his singular attractive traits ,other may see has selfishness, bombast or edgy as he is not the type of guy your friend is usually attracted to.
with Neptune conjunct he vertex ,there can be a feeling that there are hidden dynamics at play, though this can also show a sensitive and spiritual bent. and with the Jupiter/Uranus midpoint conjunct to the vertex ,there is a indication of a divorce if marriage is consummated. The Jupiter/juno midpoint is conjunct Neptune, so again some veil seems to be over the marriage. with Neptune added ,there could be hidden financial problems.
the mars/pluto midpoint is square to the moon/psyche opposition so there is some question as to whether he feels and respects the idealistic affection that she has for him .
the moon/Saturn midpoint is also conjunct to Neptune and the descendant . this is a aspect of devotion, but with Neptune there is again a sense of duplicity. Though if he is a sensitive and "spiritual" type the augury might not be unfavorable. but with the mars/Uranus/chiron/node pattern, I think him more materialistic than spiritual.

but major problematic aspect is that the sun/moon midpoint is opposed to pluto. the sun/moon midpoint shows the base on which the relationship rest. here, opposed to pluto , their is no intimacy or love but pure selfishness. this is a very unfavorable aspect because relationships and marriage are based on(hopefully) a merging of the souls. but here it is base on selfishness. Simply put ,there is no "We" in this composite.
todd

Wow, thank you todd! Just curious, how can you tell who is the "she" and "he" when reading this?

IP: Logged

todd
Knowflake

Posts: 381
From:
Registered: Jun 2009

posted November 29, 2015 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
Wow, thank you todd! Just curious, how can you tell who is the "she" and "he" when reading this?

I have found that in a composite the gender of the symbols hold if it is opposite sex composite. with same sex then it is necessary to check the natals to see which partner is more likely to resemble the aspect described.
there is an exception to opposite sex charts. if the woman takes the initiative in the relationship from the beginning or is noticeably more outgoing, then the "male" symbols will tend to apply to her. but otherwise the genders tend to hold up.i realize some writers state that gender disappears in composites but I find that erroneous most of the time
rahu

IP: Logged

ScorpieScorp
Knowflake

Posts: 571
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2013

posted November 29, 2015 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpieScorp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Aubyanne--fantastic analysis and writeup. With your knowledge of both psychology and astrology--you must be a powerhouse of knowledge and wisdom.

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6129
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 29, 2015 10:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by todd:
i realize some writers state that gender disappears in composites but I find that erroneous most of the time

Yep, and I am indeed one of them.

But then I've done too many charts between same-sex couples to rely too much upon archaic symbology as holding hard-and-fast in the modern world. Especially in relationship to abstract concepts that are manifesting physically. We have no idea how they're going to until we run synastry between the composite and the natals.

It's useful to employ the multidimensional method, too.

IP: Logged

Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 6129
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 29, 2015 10:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ScorpieScorp:
@Aubyanne--fantastic analysis and writeup. With your knowledge of both psychology and astrology--you must be a powerhouse of knowledge and wisdom.


Thanks, Scorpie. I appreciate that immensely. I've been practising astrology professionally for over 20 years, and doing sex therapy (as well as psychotherapy) for many years. Branching out into publishing very soon, so this is a vote of confidence that was much needed!

The past month has been insane. It all boils down to:

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2015

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a