posted January 18, 2016 08:59 AM            

I've known my "friend" for 11 years.

Nothing sexual has happened between us, but I've told him how I feel about him and he hasn't been very forthcoming in recent times. That said, over the years, he has sent me so many different messages - it's unreal. From 'I don't want to ruin the friendship' to 'something stops us from being together' to 'I don't like you' - I've heard it all.

So, we've decided to be friends. Unfortunately, our relationship is often blurry and I feel like he will send me random pics and I find this strange.. Especially when we have a 'I kind of like you' (from me to him) history.

He will call me around the same time everyday for a week. Then, not for a few days and then he will repeat the same pattern. Yesterday, he said to me point blank that he knew I would make him my first choice (date wise) if I was ever asked to a function (now that I'm currently single).

I often feel like he wants to be the centre of my world, but then DOESN'T want to take it any further. He will talk to me about all the typical looking girls he likes and that's fine because I've detached from my emotions ALOT over the years; but then, the next minute he will send me pics of him, his sisters - getting me involved in his life.

He likes the attention, basically. Even if there is something deeper than that (on his side), I get the feeling that he runs from it because I don't look like his ideal type; and that's fine... But then, I don't want us to constantly be in contact because it throws me off abit. Even if I rationalise the situation by telling myself that he is not interested and I come off detached, he will find a way to UP the ante and get my attention.

It all sounds so far fetched, but I swear... It's always the same. WELP!!!

QUESTIONS

I can see how Pluto/Venus plays a part in this relationship and I also see that my sun is in his 11th house; but is this ONLY a friendship looking at the synastry between us? (On his side) Or does he just affect me more than I affect him?

Synastry

Composite

posted January 18, 2016 09:31 AM            

He also keeps mirroring your own feelings for him back at you - I don't see this as his way of getting an ego boost, but actually just being honest. He's not saying anything that isn't true, afterall. You adore him and want more than friendship, and he does not reciprocate that, but clearly does care for your friendship.

It is easy for us to read into things or claim someone is trying to boost his ego when really, he's probably just trying to manage a friendship between you two after so much time.

That being said, I believe the synastry reflects this (and I think running a composite is unnecessary since you are not in a relationship).

What I see is your Sun in his 11th, which yes, I do think resonates strongly as friendship for him.

I also see that his moon is in your 8th house, which means that you receive his emotions and translate them to something quite deep, which may not be how they are intended (although depth is necessary in any long term friendship). Your moon is in his 9th, which shows more as a house of travel than romance. Have you two traveled together, or plan to?

Your Venus is also in his 10th house- the house of career. He may see you as someone he respects very much and wants to keep in his life as a colleague and friend.

His venus laying in your 4th house and near the IC explains why you feel SO strongly that there is something more there. You feel home with him - you really see him as a potential partner for life. But that's not resonating on both sides.

Aside from those aspects, I see a crazy amount of conjunctions: Neptunes conjunct, Urani (teehee) conjunct, True Nodes conjunct, and Plutos conjunct. I see this as working fine for a friendship or partnership (non romantic) because it gives a level of concreteness between you that can't easily fall to the wayside throughout the years, but I do not see these aspects as being easy for any relationship. There would need to be a bit more flowing energy going on there. You guys are quite similar, but in a way where you would potentially not grow with one another if you attempted a relationship beyond what you have. When I see the chart, I get a sense of finality: this is the relationship that is meant to be.

posted January 18, 2016 12:57 PM            

I really wouldn't even keep in contact with someone the way he does me. Just to ensure that they don't get the wrong idea. I definitely wouldn't send them pics of myself. I don't send him pics of myself! Then again, he is a Leo rising (I'm sure)... So I'm convinced it's to make himself feel better. I mean, i was in a similar situation with a libra man and I had to cut him off because it wasn't right to me. He kept asking me to meet up and be on the phone; and I couldn't because I was scared of this guy liking me and the feeling being one sided.

posted January 18, 2016 01:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaceyLeigh:
His Venus and Mars in Pisces makes him extremely elusive. In all honesty, it sounds like this guy is only in it for an ego boost. I think you need to lay it down one more time and see how he responds. If he doesn't feel the same way, then you need to pack it up and move on. It's been 11 years, girl. It's now or most likely never. Quit letting him string you along.

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I agree with you about the ego boost thing. I think I need to accept the we can't be "friends" because he is always going to do stuff that is either too much for any friend, or that I misinterpret. I've got male friends who DO NOT behave in the way that he does. I know everyone is different, but I still banter with another friend I've known for about 8 years and talk to him for like hours (maybe once a week) and we are fine. I guess the synastry between two people is always different, but for some reason... THIS one isn't working for me. We always get to a stage like this, where I feel it's too much. Then, when I try and lay it out... He gets offended like he hasn't done anything at all.

posted January 18, 2016 03:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:

What I see is your Sun in his 11th, which yes, I do think resonates strongly as friendship for him.

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Well, he has an Aquarius DSC (if birth times are correct), so technically his 11th house could be his secondary DSC house, in which case there could be some "partnership" attraction there, but the rest of the synastry may not be enough to stir any strong romantic feelings. My girlfriend's fiance puts 3 planets in her 11th house including his Sun and she too has an Aquarius DSC.

He is also a very emotional person, having 3 strong water planets, one of which being a Cancer Moon (his soul). This is a very sensitive, emotional (almost overly so for a man) placement to have and the sign of Cancer is nostalgic and sentimental. He probably treasures your long time friendship and this can be seen in his routine phone calls and sharing the family photos. Coupled with a Taurus Sun which is known for stability and loyalty in the best cases he is probably a very warm and caring individual. This sign combination can also produce someone very clingy though as Cancers hang on to things that are safe and familiar, and Taurus can be very possessive. Both crave comfort and security.

The Pisces side of it I have to admit can also explain some of his behaviour. I have experience with a man who is a triple Pisces (Sun, Venus and Mars) and to say he is a "hopeless romantic" is putting it lightly. He thinks anyone he makes a connection with is "the one." I spent a week travelling with him and his girlfriend (my best friend) and by the end of the week he was telling me he wanted to date me etc. because he had never met anyone like me before...um hello! We're on a trip with your girlfriend/my best friend! Sometimes they get so wrapped up in their fantasies the lines get blurry and their imagination takes over. It's the same with someone who is heavily Neptunian. You never always know what you're getting with these folks because THEY'RE not even sure how they really feel at times.

posted January 19, 2016 04:21 AM            

So Your Sun in his 11th house means that you have a way of making him feel special. I suspect that he maintains a connection with you because of how you make him feel validated or wanted in some fashion. He may, or may not be consciously doing this. But this is the way your attention makes him feel.

He is a Taurus, same sign as on your 7th house cusp, and his Moon is in your 8th house. He really attracts you. On the other hand you don't do much to his relationship houses... Except the your Sun is in his secondary 7th house. An Aqua Dsc makes the 11th house his secondary 7th house (because Aquarius is the 11th sign of the zodiac). Apart from this though there is not much else (synastry-wise) that would attract him romantically to you.

Here's how I suspect this is playing out. Your Sun in his 11th house makes him feel good about himself, and because his 11th house is his secondary 7th house, he also quite enjoys your company and personality. He likes you in general, and probably feels some affection for you. However, since you don't connect very well to his 5th and 8th houses the romantic side of the pull is not so strong from his side. It's like part of your personality is appeals to him, but other parts don't match the romantic 'profile' he has inside his head. This is not your fault or his. It's just something that is.

I say you should try to move on, and find someone who has the capacity to fully appreciate you. And yes there are guys like that. I guy with Sag rising, for instance, is likely to have Gemini on the 7th (partnership) and Aries on the 5th (romance). Since you are a strong Gem/Aries type, such a guy is likely to be attracted to you. Of course this is not your only option. I'm just throwing possibilities out there.