posted February 17, 2016 08:30 PM            

------ If you've had this in synastry or composite... let me know if you can relate to what I'm saying here... Was this the sort of dynamic you experienced? -----

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The Neptune person puts the Sun person on a huge pedestal. They think the Sun person is perfect in every which way and that they will always be there and make all of Neptune's problems go away.
They think the Sun person can wave a magic wand - or play "God".. and somehow miraculously turn Neptune's entire life around.

The Sun person cares about Neptune. There is affection going both ways.

It's not just some narcissistic thing where each person is selfish and trying to get something from the other. It's true that there is some "using each other" going on ... but there is also genuine affection. So there is a bit of both things.

But the Sun person has their own ego, their life, their energy. They have things to do.. They care for *themselves* and put themselves first.
It's in the nature of the Sun as a planet... and especially so if the Sun is well-placed and well-aspected - to have high self-esteem and to *care* about themselves.

The Sun is a planet who understands the concept of fitting your own oxygen-mask first (in the event of a plane crash) .. before you try to fit someone else's - including one's own child.

Neptune is a planet that has no understanding of this whatsoever .. no understanding of boundaries.. or the significance of survival vs death.. or the importance of self-esteem vs selflessness.
Neptune just wants to merge and become one with the Sun.

The Sun however wants to assert their individuality and for their individuality to be not only accepted but also loved and "supported" within the relationship.
The expectation of the Sun person is that Neptune should be *supportive*... not energy-sapping.

As much as the Sun would like to warm Neptune's life and shine their light on Neptune... They can't be there for Neptune 24/7, 100% ... as this would be very draining.
The kind of love Neptune desires and expects here - could only work in a very unrealistic fairytale scenario... where the people can be together all the time, forever after... while the entire world outside them fades to grey.

The Sun feels like he/she is there to shine for *all*.. not just for Neptune..
The Sun is someone's inner vitality and life-force.. and each person wants to shine their light on the world around them in their own way (depending on the Sun placement)...

Neptune wants the Sun *all* to themselves in a sense... Not in a possessive Plutonian sense.
They don't want to "own" the Sun.

However.. what they do want is even worse - and much scarier for the Sun individual... Because what they want is to become *one* with the Sun - to an extent where lines are blurred.. and noone can tell where one person ends and the other begins.

For this reason - this aspect has the potential to become very co-dependent.

When Neptune realises that the Sun wants their independence and they are not willingly open to "merge" - they can go into a panic.. as any co-dependent would... because they think they can't "live" without the Sun.

At this point Neptune tries to emotionally manipulate... by withdrawing affection, love.. and the things they know the Sun was enjoying in the relationships.

The Sun person... can initially feel like they have their ego stroked in this relationship. The compliments go on and on and on... and of course the Sun thinks: "Oh wow.. it's so nice to be so loved by this person for all of my qualities!"

The Sun is usually not "dependent" ^ on Neptune... but they can feel a bit "addicted" to this amount of attention... to all of the compliments and the seemingly unconditional love from Neptune...

So when Neptune pulls away (out of insecurity) - the Sun can get hurt. It's kind of like missing a drug that was putting you on a nice sort of "high" for a while.

....

posted February 17, 2016 09:20 PM            

In general, we're pretty accepting of each other's short comings. Treat each other gently (most of the time lol). Mostly because we know we're both trying our best. I don't think he's perfect, but his faults are few compared to his good points. After some years of being together and having already seen him at his lows, if there ever was some idealization, it sure has faded and given place to understanding.

Sometimes there is that feeling of wanting to isolate ourselves from the "world", but it doesn't get overwhelming.

Oh yes, the "forever after" is quite appealing to me. While I'm not obsessed with this idea, sometimes I fantasize and think it'd be quite grand to defy the rules and just *exist* with my loved one. The universe may reduce to nothingness. But still we'd be there, two slivers of shadow whispering to each other.

The idea of "merging"/completely erasing the boundaries/I am you and you are me, hmm it's not really appealing. We like to be "linked", rather than "dissolved" into each other. Two different people, connected. Still have our own problems that we have to face alone, and decisions that we have to make on our own. Idk, I like it this way.