posted February 21, 2016 11:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
the other thread was probably containing too much and brilliant information, so it started glitching.

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posted February 21, 2016 11:20 AM            

This is about the comment I made last month and his EVC with my comment.
And the second one is the EVC of him when he posted the smileys.

[/URL]

posted February 21, 2016 11:21 AM            

You said
"Oh God, tough one!
Not the orderly type here. To be honest most of it is stored in the back of my mind, I seem to have a good memory of these things. And if it is not stored there, it probably was not so important to begin with.
But of course I do have my little chaotic files on my computer as well "

posted February 21, 2016 11:28 AM            

So seeing the composite of him with the moment he did his post made me laugh.

Mercury EXACT on the ASC, and while it is most exactly conjunct his Sun/Moon-mp and one degree off his Moon-MC, it ALSO is only one degree conjunct my natal Sun!!!

And in the first one, for when I did the comment (and therefore apparently initiated some response. lol)

That Sun-Venus-MC falling onto my pr ASC on 12°16 Capricorn.

The Mars-Vertex conjunct my n Pluto on 9 Libra.

The Moon on the other hand exactly conjuncts his Vertex and in orb of conjunct his DESc.
'And as you can see in the second chart the MC is on the same spot as the Moon was in the first chart (0°16)
And in the second chart of his response the Venus had JUST passed over my pr ASC, but still very close in orb, seems like two very reactive and somehow interconnected charts. lol

posted February 21, 2016 11:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
The question is am I delusional or was that really intended as a response for me? (well it most likely was, but a last bit of doubt always remains. )

So seeing the composite of him with the moment he did his post made me laugh.

Mercury EXACT on the ASC, and while it is most exactly conjunct his Sun/Moon-mp and one degree off his Moon-MC, it ALSO is only one degree conjunct my natal Sun!!!

And in the first one, for when I did the comment (and therefore apparently initiated some response. lol)

That Sun-Venus-MC falling onto my pr ASC on 12°16 Capricorn.

The Mars-Vertex conjunct my n Pluto on 9 Libra.

The Moon on the other hand exactly conjuncts his Vertex and in orb of conjunct his DESc.
'And as you can see in the second chart the MC is on the same spot as the Moon was in the first chart (0°16)
And in the second chart of his response the Venus had JUST passed over my pr ASC, but still very close in orb, seems like two very reactive and somehow interconnected charts. lol

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posted February 21, 2016 11:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yes, I can actually see no other way than this response being to me, and believe me, I have been searching my brain through for a loophole.

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"loophole"
LOOOL

posted February 21, 2016 11:46 AM            

I think this is major!!!
My eye is starting to get more comfortable with your charts, so I even understand your midpoint aspects faster! I am really glad!

And this one too!!!
"'And as you can see in the second chart the MC is on the same spot as the Moon was in the first chart (0°16)
"
I love these aspects! I think they are the key-factors that confirm it! Or maybe I skipped sth lol

posted February 21, 2016 11:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
the other thread was probably containing too much and brilliant information, so it started glitching.

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I forgot to comment on that "too much and brilliant information" lol
I cannot thank you enough Ceri and Faith for your valuable information!!!! Many many thanks! I really appreciate it!

posted February 21, 2016 12:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mar1982delta:
What about this vertex-dsc (opp Merc) in his event compo? Is it hitting something?

Oh, his Merc-Asc is opposite your event-compo Merc!!! And your merc therefore on his anti-vx!!! Isn't this important?

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No, it is both times HIS event compo, just the first is with the time I made the comment, and the second the one when he responded.

However my n Mercury is on 25 Sag, so yes, that`s important.

posted February 21, 2016 12:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:

No, it is both times HIS event compo, just the first is with the time I made the comment, and the second the one when he responded.

However my n Mercury is on 25 Sag, so yes, that`s important.

as for his compos Vertex-DESC, it falls right onto his n IC on 28 Gemini (and my n Nessus - but I don`t think I ever abused him in any way).
BTW my Circe and reiki are on 27 Sag too. lol

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Oh, yes, lol, I got confused, sorry

"as for his compos Vertex-DESC, it falls right onto his n IC on 28 Gemini "

This is major again!!! What possible doubt has been still left in you, lol???
Although, I really get it, I also get anxious about the slightest possibility of being delusional!

posted February 21, 2016 12:53 PM            

So that was a good sign for me to resign myself to the thought I had been delusional after all, and I was accepting thta and everything was good, until the concert he seemed to be so glued to me (though I did not understand why or that I was the reason he messed up several songs. lol) escalating into him blurting out I was driving him crazy, which I think his soon-to-be-wife was anything but amused about. He is a joker, but he did not react like it was a joke afterwards, he hardly could even meet either my nor her gaze for many minutes afterwards.
Me? I was completely shocked. I was unable to react to that in anyway, I mean I had sensed this in the way he was singing that line before to me, a 7 seconds line or so and never taking his look from me : "The vision who was not quite real."
It had felt so much like a confession of the truth, like that was what I had been to him, and it was after that extended eyecontact between us, that he started to pretty much stumble around on stage, messing up songs, forgetting to sing, instead just staring into the distance (well wher ei was sitting), almost like the moment he sang it, he realized it himself. And I realized it. Though I still thought I was delusional, and then an hour later or so it all led to the crazy-comment.

And even then, after that I was telling myself it was a joke (though if not, it worked inside of me: When was our chance? When did we missed our train? ), but then 2 months later I happened to be on that solo concert of him (I thought I was safe in the crowd and he woldn`t take notice of me anyway - delusional, remember?)
I was wrong. He was jumping off his stage once again, wading through the crowd towards me asking me for my name and well informing the crowd that he already knew because we knew each other (Oh we do?) and then started talking to the man who was sitting beside me (he knows by now that ther eis only so much attention and spotlight I can take before I get all defensive, too). But anyway so him picking that man beside me as his victim for the evening resulted in him standing beside me pretty much all the time. It was insane, especially with his wife in the background and their little son. and it has been like this ever since, well he tries to block me out occasionally and ignore me, but somehow relapses.
We had a very good meeting on his fanmeeting last august, surprisingly so, well he was caught by others staring at me so I suppose he HAD to say something to me.
well he was sitting behind me, but I had not taken notice of him, until the woman before me was asking him over my head if he was wanting something sweet as well (I had ordered pancakes) and when I turned around - of course i turned around, it was reactive- he was leaning much too close already and it resulted in that moment just looking at each other, and then I remember thinking that one of us had to say something or it would get really really awkward (unless he wanted to kiss me, as he was actually looking like the thought had actually crossed his mind. lol). But he did speak, luckily, asking me about my pancakes, I gave him a silly answer, and from that moment on he was referring to me all the time during the whole meeting leading up to him complaining when I left early. lol

It was just fun of course, and after that, well he got married, well he was married before, but I guess that was the church-thing they did, and I disappeared, and he disappeared from his own facebook as well (I needed to somehow adjust once again), but then I started posting again, and he did so, too, coincidentally.

But he is a married man with almost 2 children, and if he had realy wanted to be with me, he probably would have found a way to be, but he didn`t (well I was a tough nut and totally closed up, I must confess - besides it probably changed things a little that I lost so much weight. lol I am looking better than ever and I am feeling more comfortable in my skin than ever before, and I guess that matters, too).

Anyway whatever this is, he chose her, and he chose her for a reason I guess. So whatever he might have felt for me, it simply wasn`t enough.
I get that. Realistically speaking.
What i donīt get is the way he keeps on staring at me whenever I am there, or how he keeps on being in my physical proximity, it sometimes almost feels like a mutual compulsion.
Like the famous red button you KNOW you should not push, really you should not, but you do everytime. lol We are both Sags, we can`t help pushing the button.

But this does not change anything, he is married, he has a family, his wife hates me probably, I feel guilty, and donīt even know what it is I am guilty of. He feels guilty, too, apparently, and like I did the disappearance-resurfacing thing before, he facillitates, too, now.

He`s not even a player, and I believe he really wants to make his marriage work. And he probably loves her, I guess he would not have married her otherwise. But especially lately, since the wedding curiousy, pretty much every picture he posts of himself, he looks just so withdrawn and even sad on it, and he never was like that before.

Anyway it`s nothing that is even really my business, yet, strangely enough, I do feel that there is a mutual attraction between us, and it is just since a few months, that it dawned on both of us, or is dawning on both of us, that there actually was something.
I can even name the exact moment he realized that I probably liked him a bit mroe than I should, and not just because he was doing a good job on stage.
And actually the comment I did last month probably was unintentionally confirming that even more, it was only later that I realized that I never before have ever referred to his looks in anyway, and was pretty unresponsive on personal level, too (playing my cards very close to the chest, too close).

So it feels like at least one of us (me, but maybe a bit both) are processing the past failed chances, and while things get clearer, they are also getting more muddled and sometimes I feel like I have to be REALLY careful to not let it slip into morally shady grounds, which I would not want. But I donīt want to pretend I don`t care anymore either, you know?

So this is not easy. I actually want us to be able to deal with each other like normal aquaitances or even fan-performer, but sometimes it feels a bit difficult to do so, when he is staring at me like he sometimes does.
I mean if it had been only me approaching him all the time - well I could categorize myself as a fan, pure and simple.
But I guess if I counted, he was more often approaching me than the other way round.

posted February 21, 2016 01:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Well, yes, it just, i mean, he is an actor/ singer for God`s sake!!
They are suposed to stay on their pedestal, aren`t they?
Granted he is different than most, not famous, but just a local performer, but I remember when I first met him, even then he was looking at me like, well, a woman I guess.
Which I had my doubts about that I were (I mean I had tried my best to hide it).
In fact that short meeting shocked me so much, I disappeared for 2 years. planning to never see him again, then resurfaced, he apparently recognized me, which I coiuld not believe either, and on and on it went, with me disappearing, then resurfacing, him being just so attentitve to me, and then me disappearing again, becuase I could not get overy myself or something I guess.
IT is ironically that only when I sort of had started to work on my issues int his regard and was capable and wanting to somehow make that a normal connection (fan-performer-base of course), well just the month we reconnected in that way (because I approached him for once, trying to be a bit more grown up about it. lol) and just that month his girlfriend got pregnant. lol
I know now, well people told me a few months ago, that he was anything but enthusiastic about that unexpected pregnancy, but well he totally loves his son now and they will have a second one soon, too.

So that was a good sign for me to resign myself to the thought I had been delusional after all, and I was accepting thta and everything was good, until the concert he seemed to be so glued to me (though I did not understand why or that I was the reason he messed up several songs. lol) escalating into him blurting out I was driving him crazy, which I think his soon-to-be-wife was anything but amused about. He is a joker, but he did not react like it was a joke afterwards, he hardly could even meet either my nor her gaze for many minutes afterwards.
Me? I was completely shocked. I was unable to react to that in anyway, I mean I had sensed this in the way he was singing that line before to me, a 7 seconds line or so and never taking his look from me : "The vision who was not quite real."
It had felt so much like a confession of the truth, like that was what I had been to him, and it was after that extended eyecontact between us, that he started to pretty much stumble around on stage, messing up songs, forgetting to sing, instead just staring into the distance (well wher ei was sitting), almost like the moment he sang it, he realized it himself. And I realized it. Though I still thought I was delusional, and then an hour later or so it all led to the crazy-comment.

And even then, after that I was telling myself it was a joke (though if not, it worked inside of me: When was our chance? When did we missed our train? ), but then 2 months later I happened to be on that solo concert of him (I thought I was safe in the crowd and he woldn`t take notice of me anyway - delusional, remember?)
I was wrong. He was jumping off his stage once again, wading through the crowd towards me asking me for my name and well informing the crowd that he already knew because we knew each other (Oh we do?) and then started talking to the man who was sitting beside me (he knows by now that ther eis only so much attention and spotlight I can take before I get all defensive, too). But anyway so him picking that man beside me as his victim for the evening resulted in him standing beside me pretty much all the time. It was insane, especially with his wife in the background and their little son. and it has been like this ever since, well he tries to block me out occasionally and ignore me, but somehow relapses.
We had a very good meeting on his fanmeeting last august, surprisingly so, well he was caught by others staring at me so I suppose he HAD to say something to me.
well he was sitting behind me, but I had not taken notice of him, until the woman before me was asking him over my head if he was wanting something sweet as well (I had ordered pancakes) and when I turned around - of course i turned around, it was reactive- he was leaning much too close already and it resulted in that moment just looking at each other, and then I remember thinking that one of us had to say something or it would get really really awkward (unless he wanted to kiss me, as he was actually looking like the thought had actually crossed his mind. lol). But he did speak, luckily, asking me about my pancakes, I gave him a silly answer, and from that moment on he was referring to me all the time during the whole meeting leading up to him complaining when I left early. lol

It was just fun of course, and after that, well he got married, well he was married before, but I guess that was the church-thing they did, and I disappeared, and he disappeared from his own facebook as well (I needed to somehow adjust once again), but then I started posting again, and he did so, too, coincidentally.

But he is a married man with almost 2 children, and if he had realy wanted to be with me, he probably would have found a way to be, but he didn`t (well I was a tough nut and totally closed up, I must confess - besides it probably changed things a little that I lost so much weight. lol I am looking better than ever and I am feeling more comfortable in my skin than ever before, and I guess that matters, too).

Anyway whatever this is, he chose her, and he chose her for a reason I guess. So whatever he might have felt for me, it simply wasn`t enough.
I get that. Realistically speaking.
What i donīt get is the way he keeps on staring at me whenever I am there, or how he keeps on being in my physical proximity, it sometimes almost feels like a mutual compulsion.
Like the famous red button you KNOW you should not push, really you should not, but you do everytime. lol We are both Sags, we can`t help pushing the button.

But this does not change anything, he is married, he has a family, his wife hates me probably, I feel guilty, and donīt even know what it is I am guilty of. He feels guilty, too, apparently, and like I did the disappearance-resurfacing thing before, he facillitates, too, now.

He`s not even a player, and I believe he really wants to make his marriage work. And he probably loves her, I guess he would not have married her otherwise. But especially lately, since the wedding curiousy, pretty much every picture he posts of himself, he looks just so withdrawn and even sad on it, and he never was like that before.

Anyway it`s nothing that is even really my business, yet, strangely enough, I do feel that there is a mutual attraction between us, and it is just since a few months, that it dawned on both of us, or is dawning on both of us, that there actually was something.
I can even name the exact moment he realized that I probably liked him a bit mroe than I should, and not just because he was doing a good job on stage.
And actually the comment I did last month probably was unintentionally confirming that even more, it was only later that I realized that I never before have ever referred to his looks in anyway, and was pretty unresponsive on personal level, too (playing my cards very close to the chest, too close).

So it feels like at least one of us (me, but maybe a bit both) are processing the past failed chances, and while things get clearer, they are also getting more muddled and sometimes I feel like I have to be REALLY careful to not let it slip into morally shady grounds, which I would not want. But I donīt want to pretend I don`t care anymore either, you know?

So this is not easy. I actually want us to be able to deal with each other like normal aquaitances or even fan-performer, but sometimes it feels a bit difficult to do so, when he is staring at me like he sometimes does.
I mean if it had been only me approaching him all the time - well I could categorize myself as a fan, pure and simple.
But I guess if I counted, he was more often approaching me than the other way round.

Yet, well, the situation is as it is, and it is pretty much crap. or actually like a soap opera. I love my own soap opera though It is entertaining, just as much as it is confusing and sometimes a little painful. but my Aqua Moon can find value even in that. lol

---

posted February 21, 2016 01:23 PM            

And whereever that path is taking me? I donīt know, but whereever it might be, it will be where I am supposed to be. I am sure of that.

posted February 21, 2016 01:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yes, I totally can see this, and that is why I am actually happy with how things are, as strange that may sound.
The thing is I do not have just a crush on him, but I do like him, and I think and hope that there is a way to somehow make it work in a way that will hurt noone in the process. I don`t know, well actually I do not think so much about the future (which is unwritten anyway, or in the process of being written with every turn at present).
I am for once in my life just living in the present, not in the past (even though I am still trying to make sense of it, cause I feel that is helpful for my current development), not in some possible future. It`s just now and here today that matters.
And through the experiences with him I learn a lot, and as weird as that feels, from the start I`ve felt valued by him, or through him I felt my own value. I wonder if his Venus in my 2nd house is contributing to that?

And whereever that path is taking me? I donīt know, but whereever it might be, it will be where I am supposed to be. I am sure of that.

But for now I simply love dissecting those charts, partly to understand the impact on him, yes, but also to learn how astrology works in different ways but consistently. lol
I am sort of using him or our connection to learn astrology

---

" I am actually happy with how things are, as strange that may sound. "
It doesn't sound strange at all. It is actually how I feel, too, in my case!

"and hope that there is a way to somehow make it work in a way that will hurt noone in the process."
I really wish that for you!

"It`s just now and here today that matters. "
Yes, it does and I think that we all constantly forget it!

"I wonder if his Venus in my 2nd house is contributing to that?"

Maybe, I have that in synastry, too, DW!!!

"but also to learn how astrology works in different ways but consistently. lol "
Consistently. YES. That is the word and what fascinates me, too!!!

"I am sort of using him or our connection to learn astrology "

posted February 21, 2016 01:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yes to all you said. And yes, there`s the thing with hope....
Anyway however if I learned one thing in the past years is that what I think is impossible, often might not be impossible at all. It`s just my mind that is too narrow to include the possible options.

Keeping an open mind and heart, that`s important I think. And not always easy.

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"my mind that is too narrow to include the possible options"
I think it is the very nature of the human mind! Not your mind specifically! I don't consider you narrow-minded at all anyway lol!

posted February 21, 2016 01:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
okay, back to the astrology then.

I find it interesting that the EVC for when he responded, has a Moon-Mars-conjunction AGAIN, as well as a Sun-Venus conjunction, and so Moon squares Sun and Venus squares Mars. Must have been quite some energy pushing him to do that. lol

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