posted March 06, 2016 06:09 PM            

My bf and I broke up today. I am posting our synastry and composite and I would like to see what astrology has to offer about this break up. We broke up on nicer terms, and we had a conversation about it after, but he was the one that felt like he feels he can't give this relationship the responsibilities it deserves, and he sees my needs and he feels that I'm not happy since he couldn't give the things an exclusive relationship needs: compromise, care, attention, etc. He says he doesn't want to sound cheesy or anything but he still feels very strongly for me..love, affection, all that stuff. But he is doing it because of me as well...he says he hates saying that because it sounds so bad, but it is true, however I want to take it. We had a nasty month of February and it was very bad, we had a very bad argument and it kind of dragged onto 3 weeks. We came back a little bit towards the end of the month and into March, where we both had a nice "hi honey how are you doing" type of vibe...but two days ago, everything kind of stopped and he stopped reaching out to me. He stopped initiating texting me too, so I had to reach out to him the first time and said I was concerned. The next day, we both didn't talk to each other and I felt a bit frustrated and reached out to him. He was very held back in affection and warmth. Today, we finally talked it through and as our conversation led on and on, he has told me that it was best for both of us if we just ended our relationship..and he doesn't put it lightly because he did give it some thought.

PS - Both birth times are correct, source was both of our birth certificates.

Our Synastry (I'm on inside)

Our Composite (with Today's Transits)

posted March 07, 2016 12:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Starry~*:
Thank you angel, please let me know what you think Anything will help. Most of all, I need something to kind of give me pointers about myself, because I want to see this more of a learning experience than a bitter heartbreaking one.

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of course! I'm interested knowing about the connection also for the synastry who is on the outside and the inside? i will check more on it tmrw i've been studying for my midterm like crazy ughhhh

posted March 07, 2016 02:37 AM            

Here is my natal chart:

posted March 07, 2016 02:35 PM            

His Jupiter heavily aspected kept enough good feelings going to keep things afloat--he truly does appreciate your beautiful qualities and the communication is often no doubt full of good will and optimism... but Sun square Mars is a terrible doozy especially when it's isolated like this... explains the battles.. the ego just can't thrive under that kind of pressure, Mars always bristling at you for just being you.

With Mars conjunct moon and moon conjunct South Node in Libra in your natal you can really sublimate your basic needs to those of others, meanwhile perhaps criticizing and blaming them for the inequality between you or possibly pedestalizing them to the point where you don't see anything clearly *neptune square*.. You need to take charge of your own experiences in relationship and, remaining aware of how easily you can be affected by other people, and your need for sincerity and fair kind equitable behaviour, move into a place where you are calling the shots more often in terms of what's best for you. Find somebody who is going to appreciate you and value your strengths. Don't get together with anybody before you get to know them somewhat well. You need to know and appreciate them for who THEY really are too. What are they bringing to the table? Do you care for them emotionally? Are you in touch with them on a real caring level?

You can still be nice but be firm. Your Mercury-Venus in 1st house Scorpio can be very charming, very approachable, and you're probably quite beautiful and compelling. You have a lot going for you so you might attract people who want to get something out of the relationship with you without first ascertaining that they value who you are heart and soul on a deeper level... and vice versa. Don't go for superficial attraction. Go for depth.

posted March 07, 2016 02:52 PM            

Neptune on the AC can forecast a lot of confusion in a relationship. It is an extremely prominent position for Neptune to be, ESPECIALLY being in the 1H - it's basically the most powerful aspect I see in this chart. While Neptune CAN indicate some spirituality/ fatedness, More often I think it shows a level of confusion/deception. One partner thinking "this is it" while the other feels love, but not really anything that powerful.

12House Venus also indicates the relationship may be particularly hidden. Not really outward, behind the scenes, or even feeling like it's something to cover up.

posted March 07, 2016 02:59 PM            

I hadn't even looked at the composite but those are good observations, Cappi.

posted March 07, 2016 06:48 PM            

Here is his natal as requested. He is a very broken man, and I can see that he has alot of childhood baggage and old relationship baggage that he is still carrying around with him. it's very hard for him to let go of hurt. I can see that. He stays stuck, tense up, he freezes and goes into his shell. I have been with another scorpio men, but never like this one. This one is a special case. Really.

posted March 07, 2016 08:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Yeah the unaspected planets reduce his emotional involvement a good deal... or rather they might increase it but there's nowhere for it to anchor... he feels unseen on a basic level, needs unmet somehow. Your Moon aspecting his Mars gave physical attraction and a certain emotional compatibility in terms of what motivated you two but it seems like your heart wasnt deeply involved either? I'm sorry if so... break ups are really hard .
...

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Thank you for your kind words. Just to be clear for everyone here, I did not want to rush into this relationship too fast or too seriously. He did alot of the pursuing, whereas I told myself to keep it casual, a good pace, I am hesitant to rush into another relationship at the first place because I had a long term relationship that didn't work out before this, and that kind of waned off. However, this man was pursuing me, we had great conversations (when we are not upset or hurt or have some issues). He has always told me that he sees the future very clearly with me, and that he wants to get there, to a better place, and he wants to get there with me. He was the one that officialized us, I did not. He was very serious about me, he was very committed. We talked everyday at first during a time when he had a huge downturn in his life, and I guess I offered him genuine goodness....and I do possess that. However, it is very clear that he has alot of issues..personal ones, ones where he isn't completely over about his past..and he is carrying alot of baggage. Although he was not in a relationship for 2-3 years before me, he said there was a reason why. With all the stuff he had to do, he always thought he was better off alone..and now I guess he has finally realized it.

He is a very hard person to understand, he has depth, and he has emotions...passions..and I can see it, however, he tries very hard to control it and it is to the point where you wonder if it's any good anymore.

With Neptune on the Composite ASC, yes, I have heard this is not a great aspect. Someone is bound to be disillusioned, and I think that's holds true for the both of us. However, this relationship was very intimate in the sense that we have really been vulnerable with each other and we really opened up for each other.

When we broke up that day he said "You know..it's not about how long a relationship is..it's more about how deep it goes. I am very grateful to have you open up to me, be vulnerable and I was able to do the same. We really went deep together.."

I guess when he said that, we both had a pause. We did. It was a very good thing, nobody ever wants to be vulnerable or expose themselves..that stuff is never easy. However, with such a short amount of time, we were able to with each other. I guess this relationship was really a psychotherapy for us..and our path/wants to become spiritual more than anything else. I think at the end of the day, we will move on learning more about ourselves.

I do believe him in him saying that he has alot of love, affection, fondness and all those strong feelings for me. He said it's the truth. However, I don't think he was ready for a committed relationship. He holds onto hurt and I can see he is still carrying alot of wounds and baggage around with him. He doesn't want to be jealous, but he really flared up. I was understanding of why, however, for him, he caught himself doing that stuff that he would do before and he said it's not ok for him to fly off the handle like that...if he can't control that type of raw unpleasant emotion..it'll only be bad for the both of us.

However, He was a musician. We both went to the same music school 8 years ago, shared a year together, but somehow we didn't really recognize or remember each other. During our time together, although brief and short, he really encouraged me to be creative again..to go back to playing the piano, to write, to draw, to do all the things that I've neglected from myself for a long time. He was very encouraging.

Also, we had alot of uncanny coincidences, such as, always knowing/saying the same thing the other person says at the same time. Sometimes it would be as uncanny as me texting him "text me when you're downstairs" to which exact moment he would say "i'm downstairs." It felt fated and it felt like the universe dropped alot of signs for the both of us that we were destined to meet and spend this time together. However long or short. I only see this as a learning experience.

posted March 07, 2016 09:09 PM            

quote:

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I did not want to rush into this relationship too fast or too seriously. He did alot of the pursuing, whereas I told myself to keep it casual, a good pace,
..
He was the one that officialized us, I did not. He was very serious about me, he was very committed.

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Starry.. I'm genuinely curious about this ^ as I was in somehow the same situation.
It sounds a bit one-sided, as if it's all coming from his side?
I mean, I broke up with mine because he had too much of an attitude like yours (keep it casual and see what comes from it etc.). But I want (emotionally) full-in (being a Leo-Sun/Scorp-Moon) and feel that also from the other party. After all, it's not A) being physically affectionate/intimate and then B) let's see when/if more of an emotional investment/involvement follows (< yea I thought about that a lot hehe).
It literally needs to be verbalized that *I* am the one, for now and ever. When I don't get that feeling I miss the very core of what I need.

posted March 07, 2016 11:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Starry~*:
Thank you for your kind words. Just to be clear for everyone here, I did not want to rush into this relationship too fast or too seriously. He did alot of the pursuing, whereas I told myself to keep it casual, a good pace, I am hesitant to rush into another relationship at the first place because I had a long term relationship that didn't work out before this, and that kind of waned off. However, this man was pursuing me, we had great conversations (when we are not upset or hurt or have some issues). He has always told me that he sees the future very clearly with me, and that he wants to get there, to a better place, and he wants to get there with me. He was the one that officialized us, I did not. He was very serious about me, he was very committed. We talked everyday at first during a time when he had a huge downturn in his life, and I guess I offered him genuine goodness....and I do possess that. However, it is very clear that he has alot of issues..personal ones, ones where he isn't completely over about his past..and he is carrying alot of baggage. Although he was not in a relationship for 2-3 years before me, he said there was a reason why. With all the stuff he had to do, he always thought he was better off alone..and now I guess he has finally realized it.

He is a very hard person to understand, he has depth, and he has emotions...passions..and I can see it, however, he tries very hard to control it and it is to the point where you wonder if it's any good anymore.

With Neptune on the Composite ASC, yes, I have heard this is not a great aspect. Someone is bound to be disillusioned, and I think that's holds true for the both of us. However, this relationship was very intimate in the sense that we have really been vulnerable with each other and we really opened up for each other.

When we broke up that day he said "You know..it's not about how long a relationship is..it's more about how deep it goes. I am very grateful to have you open up to me, be vulnerable and I was able to do the same. We really went deep together.."

I guess when he said that, we both had a pause. We did. It was a very good thing, nobody ever wants to be vulnerable or expose themselves..that stuff is never easy. However, with such a short amount of time, we were able to with each other. I guess this relationship was really a psychotherapy for us..and our path/wants to become spiritual more than anything else. I think at the end of the day, we will move on learning more about ourselves.

I do believe him in him saying that he has alot of love, affection, fondness and all those strong feelings for me. He said it's the truth. However, I don't think he was ready for a committed relationship. He holds onto hurt and I can see he is still carrying alot of wounds and baggage around with him. He doesn't want to be jealous, but he really flared up. I was understanding of why, however, for him, he caught himself doing that stuff that he would do before and he said it's not ok for him to fly off the handle like that...if he can't control that type of raw unpleasant emotion..it'll only be bad for the both of us.

However, He was a musician. We both went to the same music school 8 years ago, shared a year together, but somehow we didn't really recognize or remember each other. During our time together, although brief and short, he really encouraged me to be creative again..to go back to playing the piano, to write, to draw, to do all the things that I've neglected from myself for a long time. He was very encouraging.

Also, we had alot of uncanny coincidences, such as, always knowing/saying the same thing the other person says at the same time. Sometimes it would be as uncanny as me texting him "text me when you're downstairs" to which exact moment he would say "i'm downstairs." It felt fated and it felt like the universe dropped alot of signs for the both of us that we were destined to meet and spend this time together. However long or short. I only see this as a learning experience.

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Starry,

I know this may sound very strange to you, but i' am actually with a man that has a similar NATAL CHART as him. So i can DEFENTLY understand where this man is coming from. At least, I know some stuff about him maybe not everything because he is slightly different from the man I'm crazy for at the moment or actually for the past year now.

Me and Him are also musicians. We both go to the same University for school of Music. We met at University about 1.5 years ago. So this is very strange and very similar to m situation currently. However, we are not dating at the moment.

Anyways, i don't want to talk about my relations with this man but let me just go ahead and tell you what i can relate to your composite and what you just described now.

the man i like is also BROKEN like yours let's just put it that way. He is very handsome and i mean very handsome i had no idea this man would pursue me, i honestly felt this man was out of my league but i was wrong, he wanted me but there was a lot of miscommunication between us, A LOT OF MIND GAMES and he is also a Scorpio and rising in Aquarius this man seems so detached and HARD to figure out. i' m not sure if your guy is the same? first of all he is also a sun in scorpio in the 9th house. I believe this man that I'm crazy about is more manipulative and plays mind games MORE then your guy because he has a full loud stellium in scorpio in the 9th house sun/mercury/venus/pluto conjunction and this all opposing his taurus moon and squaring his jupiter. anyways.....

i can understand that you two had a psychic/telepathic link like that fated feeling you were talking about towards the end there because you two do have a strong 12th house composite and that really can make the couple very open spiritually to one another especially with neptune on the ASCENDANT THERE. i' m surprised that you both don't have a rising in sag in the composite if you both met at school?

i can see how he was very serious with you in the beginning because his 8th house pluto is RIGHT on your ASCENDANT EXACT which tells me he was very sexually attracted to your looks that with sextile your 5th ruler neptune in the 3rd house which tells me he was very fond of your creativity and possibly your voice or way of speaking and possibly even writing also liked the way you moved in return you were attracted to his intensity in a harmonious way. his 7th ruler however is unaspected MAJORLY, its aspected MINORLY with your uranus semi sextillig it which could have made him feel you were detached OR possibly not as invested in it as him etc. the 7th ruler OR 7th house planets HAVE TO BE ASPECTED i think it would've been okay to see a trine or sextile or possibly a major aspect form his 7th ruler or 7th house planet to either your angle's, angle rulers or personal planets to feel at least MORE responsibility to have a commitment with you. but it does depend on the rest of the synastry. but that's one that comes out that is not good especially if your looking for a long committed relationship or marriage you have to have the 7th ruler or 7th house planets in ASPECT or in a geometric figuration for both parties to feel they can have a commitment with you or that you SUIT what there 7th ruler or 7th house planet is looking for also the DESC. so i do see a lack of the 7th ruler on his part which isn't good, to be honest. his saturn is also unaspected which IS his CO RULER since he is an AQUA rising PLUS its good to see saturn in synastry of longterm relationships because saturn brings responsibility. your saturn squares his vertex which tells me that he was intrigued by your way of speaking or writing, he liked that you had a serious tone or a serious approach to things. its nice to see that his vertex was aspected but its not necessarily a requirement to have in longterm relationships it just shows that he felt VERY fated with you, with his vertex squaring your 3rd ruler in the 2nd house (saturn).

I will look at more.

posted March 08, 2016 04:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mir:
Starry.. I'm genuinely curious about this ^ as I was in somehow the same situation.
It sounds a bit one-sided, as if it's all coming from his side?
I mean, I broke up with mine because he had too much of an attitude like yours (keep it casual and see what comes from it etc.). But I want (emotionally) full-in (being a Leo-Sun/Scorp-Moon) and feel that also from the other party. After all, it's not A) being physically affectionate/intimate and then B) let's see when/if more of an emotional investment/involvement follows (< yea I thought about that a lot hehe).
It literally needs to be verbalized that *I* am the one, for now and ever. When I don't get that feeling I miss the very core of what I need.

Do you think Starry, that this might have been a reason also, that he broke up? A lack of 'spirit' from your side. Somewhere somehow..

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Hi mir, I have certainly thought about things from all angles. You are right, of course it's not completely his doing, it is very obvious that I like this person enough to let it turn official as well when we had the talk. At the beginning, my attitude has always been "well, I don't want to rush into another relationship..I've been doing that way too fast and have always been doing that. This time around I wanna do something that's right." and when we first met, it was a very good feeling. He was an attractive man but he was also very much of an eccentric and unique in terms of thinking. I very much appreciated his ability to vocalize his opinions and his passions outwardly, no matter how "outer worldly" it seems. He was very sweet, I can see through the core of his goodness -- He's very caring but only to a few, and that is his family and those he lets in his life, one of them being me. However, I do see that he has alot of childhood baggage and issues that span from previous relationships to childhood "mommy issues" (that he coins it) that really is screwing up with him right now. However, I knew all this but I was always readily there when we opened up and spoke about vulnerable unpleasantries.

posted March 08, 2016 04:47 AM            

He admits he has "mommy issues" and he's been trying hard to quite smoking..something that really throws him off if he's not on the right track in progress. He also admitted that he picked up smoking, almost like a way to be closer to his own mother.
He is also not your typical "human being" I guess. I have tried, very hard, to ask him questions, but he has a very passive and indirect way...or roundabout way of answering them. My questions can be something as important as "hey, what are some of your needs in a relationship? What do you look for in a partner?" and his reply would be a very obtuse one, such as, "well, I guess it's stuff that anyone would want right? I mean, what does anyone want from a relationship? And is it healthy to always want from another like that, without first having some of that love and acceptance yourself?" -- and although he has very good points (thank god I am able to see some of them in an objective manner) he can come off as very VERY confusing in his explanations and answers to things. He even admitted himself, that his brother told him this many times -- "Dude, sometimes when you explain things...it's like...what??? huh??? and instead of the person being more clear and understanding, you really leave them with a bigger fog." He said he is very "aware" of this about himself, so he always tries to make himself clear. However, I really do see that he has a "special" thing with that going on. It is VERY easy for people to take him the wrong way and I genuinely think it is very difficult for people to understand him. A lot of things he says is very roundabout and elusive. Of course, he has very passionate rants about his opinions, but when it comes to voicing his own needs/concerns...it was always very difficult (Mars in 12th?). He never directly approaches the question and answers it head-on. I'm not an idiot either and I certainly can have a philosophical mentality....but it's very frustrating sometimes when you have a question you just wished he'd answer honestly and directly, and to the point.

I think he understands too that he is very "special" and not alot of people can handle him. I also get the sense that he finds self worth through servicing others. He has been in previous relationships with girls who had pretty bad issues who were really more broken than he was (alcoholism, and all that nasty stuff..), and I guess since they depended on him SO MUCH he was able to feel like a savior - and thus feeding his self esteem. However, it always turns out the same - at some point the co-dependency turns toxic, and he breaks up with them anyways..and the relationship by that time has soured out and turned out to be VERY bad. I guess he was sparing us from that, by ending it a bit "abruptly" recently. He said so himself that he doesn't want things to get worse and that he genuinely feels alot for me and cares tremendously for me...and he doesn't just say that for the sake of saying it. It's the truth. With me it's very different for him, as he says "this is my first time for several things as well.." whatever he meant by that. I am certainly not a saint or perfect..but I think I have my head screwed on pretty straight. I don't smoke, I'm a wine drinker but I always know my limits and never push to get to a point of being drunk..I had my life pretty much in order besides usual hiccups like searching for a job and having goals of moving to a nicer place...and of course my occasional sharp tongue due to fits of anger. I am very aware of my shortcomings, but I'm only ever wanting to improve on them.

He said he sees what some of my needs are. Yes, I am giving myself the chance to vocalize my own needs - something I have never been able to do before. I was very upfront, direct, straightforward and honest with him. I tried my best to be patient and understanding...and he sees all of that in me. However, I can only head down this one way street for so long. It's never about my committment or loyalty. Infact, it was very clear to him that I was and he doesn't doubt that from me for a bit. I was always there to talk things through. I showed my commitment and loyalty to this relationship by learning to maturely talk about things as adults, looking for ways to compromise..and most importantly, looking to understand where the other person is coming from first. I'm not one to be selfish and always make it about "me me me". He knows and sees all this. I'm readily able to sacrifice a good amount for a relationship, however, this time around, I made sure I wasn't doing it alone...and if I gave, I need to have to see some in return...and being as honest as I can, I told him that it's been difficult the past month because I felt I was not having some of the "returning" back. I said I'm human too, and quite frankly, we all want to be wanted in a relationship, we all wanna see that the other person still desires us at some level, even if it means giving us a simple "hi how are you" text can make a big difference.

I think he was very hesitant to initiate anything. I feel he needs the other person to always initiate things first, always. And although it's not impossible to find someone like that...I think it is difficult because everybody wants to atleast feel like they somehow matter to them. However, my argument is that it can't be too extreme. After a while, there needs to be a give and take between two people who are going to compliment or balance out each other.

I must say, the only thing I can be certain of is myself. I have really seen myself grow a bit more with this experience. I saw myself being able to truly learn how it's like to sit down and talk things through maturely with another person -- WITHOUT having anger or things fly off the handle. Granted, I am not perfect, and of course I say things when I'm angry (and sometimes not nice things) but I always say "sorry, I said that out of anger, I didn't mean it." - Something I wasn't able to do for a long time without truly maturing as a person. I felt I was very patient with this man, and although I do see that it's very difficult for people to truly deal with and be with him (i'm not saying this out of spite but really out of mutual respect and love for a human being), I was still able to give this person his respect, the understanding and the time. I've always told him: If he ever needs time to withdraw and work out his own inner tangles just let me know. I'd be happy to give him that...or if he just wants me to hear him out, or give advice. I don't take that stuff personally and I'll keep myself occupied in the meantime and we can talk about it when he's ready and comes out from his "withdrawal cave".

However, he said he doesn't want to not talk either. He never "sees any good in not talking". This tells me that his person has a tendency to cling and develop dependency issues. At the same time, it is very very difficult for him to get past hurt. He dwells and he tenses up in his own shell while doing it. All the love, affection is iced out. It wasn't pleasant but I had given the due respect to stick around by him during those times. So basically -- He doesn't want to not-talk and be left alone to deal with his own inner turmoil/feelings but he is unwilling to "move on so easily" when he feels something.

I've been with another scorpio man before, who has a similar chart but the venus/asc was different along with different house placements. This man felt alot too and as a Cap Mars from the both of them, I do see a tendency to maintain control over their emotions...sort of like trying to put a lid over boiling and spilling out water. He also had a T-square, but he had Mars at the Apex, not Pluto like this man. However he wanted to dwell and work out his feelings, he didn't have the tendency to feel "stuck" in it for long..certainly not as long as this man's. He was more understanding, but again -- a similarity would be the hesitancy of putting things to action in terms of human relationships. It must be a sense of fear, insecurity and possibly low self-esteem.

posted March 08, 2016 02:30 PM            

Your sun squares his mars so theres ego conflict with the way he asserts himself. Expect fights. Not worth your time. Don’t bleed for him. He probably needs a flashy dominant woman who is into the arts as a career. Plus he might trick you more if u stay. You will always feel like you're in a fog as to where u stand w him.