posted March 09, 2016 04:13 AM            

In the meantime, I started to get very close to a friend of mine here. We were always just friends (it takes a LOT for me to become attracted to another man if I'm in love with someone else, so this grabbed my attention big time), but he has been incredible to me and a total rock for me and the group of friends I have.

Just these past two weeks, something has really shifted in our friendship. He has been talking to me every single day, showing up for concerts I'm performing in and in general, just an insanely wonderful friend and breath of fresh air. But, the last few days he's been expressing feelings much bigger than friendship for me. I know we want the same things (the opposite of my relationship with my recent ex), and there is a ton of chemistry.

That being said, it's the wrong time for us to start something and I am really not ready (but have the feeling he is very ready for something to start here). I'm about to see my ex when I'm back in my home state in a few weeks , I am not over him yet, and he's still very much making himself a big part of my life (planning trips here over the summer,e tc.) Again, I don't see a future with my ex.. I COULD see things developing into a really healthy, stable relationship with this guy I think.... I'm just confused and the timing is way off. I'm nervous to pass up an opportunity to be with a great guy.

So, wanted some thoughts on this synastry, and if this confusion I have is because I'm not seeing something I should be, or what. ANY thoughts welcome.

Synastry Wheel- I am outer:

Synastry Grid (I am left margin):

posted March 11, 2016 06:09 AM            

He is also foreign (Belgian, but living in Netherlands where I am), and I think some of the confusion comes from our language barriers.

posted March 11, 2016 12:35 PM            

I explained to him I need time. He seems okay with that, and very understanding... but still very eager. So I'm trying to keep my freak out at bay. haha.

posted March 11, 2016 12:37 PM            

I explained to him I need time. He seems okay with that, and very understanding... but still very eager. So I'm trying to keep my freak out at bay. haha.

posted March 16, 2016 06:49 AM            

My observations, even since the last week:

1. He is absolutely certain that he wants to be with me. I've never actually dated someone with so much 100% certainty about that.

2. In terms of emotional/ Physical chemistry, it is off the charts (and very dangerous).

3. He seems to understand what I'm not saying. So, as I stated before, I'm nervous about embarking on something serious this red hot minute, and without having to even say that, he pretty much told me last night that he will wait until I'm ready. (I'm getting closer to 'ready' every single day).

4. He's very sensitive, romantic, and light at heart. He is already the type of guy who is there every day in some form or another - checking in just to say hello, dropping by to help me with something. He's always been this way though.

5. We've been close friends for 7 months, but neither of us recognized any romantic potential for real until a few weeks ago.

So, it is a very very positive thing right now. Difficult, because I'm still transitioning out of a very serious relationship, but there's something about this that feels like a huge next step for me, whatever happens.

posted March 16, 2016 06:58 PM            

His Uranus on your south node in Scorpio is interesting, especially since he's Aqua moon-SN. I love Ceres conjunct Venus in Taurus...I like when both people have Ceres in the same sign because they know how to nurture one another.

Even though your moons aren't trine I think it's nice they are the same element.

What are you confused about?

Also, care to post the composite?

posted March 16, 2016 07:54 PM            

I guess to me it is very sudden, with the ending of my recent relationship. So the timing feels crazy - and this guy was JUST a friend to me for so many months, then BAM.

posted March 17, 2016 05:32 AM            

My ex, even though we were super, super in love I thought, would never really commit. Even when he committed. I always sensed him fleeing - but now that he knows I am starting to see someone new, he suddenly wants to FULLY commit and even wants to move to Europe. But i can't handle the merry go round with him anymore.

posted March 17, 2016 09:55 AM            

Also, Mars in Leo can be sorta forceful, and here it's conjunct his NN, squaring your Saturn. So your Saturn is saying, Whoa there, slow down, not ready just yet....

His Mars doesn't aspect yours so you may not be exactly in sync, physically. That might make you miss your ex more, because you and your ex have the same Mars sign.

There are some difficult aspects with this new guy as you see...your Pluto opposing his Venus-Chiron, and moon-Saturn aspects both ways. Not sure how much of an issue they will be, as you have plenty of nice aspects, too (explaining the nice friendship already.)

The composite is nice, I love the moon on the ASC, but I wonder about the Mars-Uranus opposition, especially since he has Mars square Uranus natally, with Aqua moon on the south node.

But I still think it looks like a sweet romance. And I'm biased towards his placements because my best friend is a 3rd decan Pisces sun, Pisces Mercury & Aqua moon.

Your ex may be a wonderful person but I would be wary of him just repeating this cycle over and over again...courting, withdrawing, courting, withdrawing. I've seen other Cap men do this, by the way. They never let go, even when they do...if that makes any sense.

I hope others comment here...

posted March 17, 2016 10:36 AM            

Part of me is glad this guy is super eager because it is a new and different normal. He isn't CREEPY about it -just, the first guy I've ever dated to be literally 100% on board and all in. But I'm afraid of not being ready.

Physically, actually, I feel like it's a really good match - we haven't slept together yet though, so who knows? It's already there though. I could hardly stop kissing him once that started the other night.

But, my ex and I definitely did have that aspect of our relationship figured out even if nothing else was. I will probably always miss him, but I do not want to hang on to him and I very much want to move the heck on. The cycle he's given me - push/pull, not committing, then committing at the worst possible time - is the same it has been since 2 years ago. It's driving me insane.

posted March 17, 2016 04:49 PM            

I'm gonna take a look at your composite tomorrow, I think.

posted March 18, 2016 03:55 AM            

The ASC time should be accurate (his bday was last week, so we discussed this). What I notice is that one half of me is still getting over ex, feeling sad and not ready, etc. The other half - especially once I see new guy (the second he walks in the door, in fact) - feels things that are completely new to him.

He IS overwhelming, but not in a negative way (and my ex had way more scary Pluto energy on me- he still refuses to listen to what I want. I was always under his control - if he wanted commitment he had it from me. If he wanted to just be friends, he got that too. I was his and he would SAY that, all the time. )

My feeling with the pluto stuff is that new guy is a dreamer, is sure of me in his life, is READY for this to be a big thing for him (and I can see it being that for me too in the right time, honestly), and that he feels no weight around it. So, when I brought up "Okay, I like you... but I need to go very slow" He was very surprised. He IS extremely mesmerizing. He's very very handsome (probably the most good looking man I've ever dated), but more than that, he has a very kind heart and does things with his life that I find super attractive and can't help but fall for. (Loves children genuinely, is active and a coach, has loyalty to the people he loves in his life, and so on).

A note about this I should say, because I think it plays in: He is Belgian, so there is a language barrier that I think has made things nerve-wracking for me at times. he words things sometimes in a way that makes me scared and nervous, but then I realize he actually meant something normal. I can speak french so we can bond through that (he's more comfortable in french), but his english is better than my french, so we're always finding a good middle ground.

If we hadn't been friends for so long first,I would be scared of this and its intensity.

We do talk for a longgg time, and I find that we tend to very slowly, methodically discuss what is going on - it feels sane and logical when we do that, and that is helping me a lot.

But I get very swept away by him in his presence too, so I'm just trying to keep my head on straight. So far, things are going very very slow, but I do have a feeling they will go quicker as soon as I can shake off the ghosts of what just happened.

He Does feel like someone I've been close to or can consider home or family - mainly because in my life in Europe he has already been a part of the foundation.

posted March 18, 2016 06:41 PM            

I'm wondering where your strong physical chemistry may come from. I see your Pluto opposite his Venus (8HR), your Venus sextile his, (both 8th house rulers) and a wide but I guess still acceptable Venus-Mars sextile. I don't know if I should count that Mars-Pluto sextile. Well, maybe these connections are enough. It probably helps that your Pluto is in your 8th and the opposition occurs in Scorpio-Taurus.

Btw, I like your Moon-ASC sign sharing. Assuming you got his rising right. It should make it easier for you to be in tune emotionally. I also suspect your tight Sun-Pluto square with him as Pluto could have something to do with his eagerness to make you his.

Ok, now your composite.

I think ASC conjunct Moon from the 1st is a great thing to have. I believe it would be hard to escape an emotional bond with this aspect and the bond is likely to become strong if the people involved interact frequently. We also have Neptune as an integral part of your connection. You know what it means, right? Keep your eyes open and if you're lucky, you'll create your own private paradise together. Sun and Mercury in the 2nd...I see a physically fulfilling relationship that brings a sense of security. But there could be also a little too much focus on money and possessions and conflicts in this area. Excessive possessiveness is an option too. If things ever turned unsatisfying, it could be hard for you to part ways because of the comfort you'd experience together. With Venus in the 4th you could spend lots of time at home and have a deep but quiet kind of love. It indicates a harmonious home environment. You could also decorate your place together. The Mars-Venus sextile and Uranus in the mix should help maintain the excitement. Sun square Chiron looks potentially ouchey, let's hope it's about healing. It's in your 6th house. I can see it as either dealing with frequent health issues/injuries or an interest in alternative medicine. You got your smooth Sun-Saturn trine to take things seriously, woohoo. It's tight so I suppose it would be enough. Your Mars is the 6th seems a little boring but if you both work out or do sports for health benefits or it's possible for you to work on projects together, it would make sense. Jupiter appears to be unaspected apart the connection to the Nodal axis, hm. Your 11th house is rather heavy and somewhat contradictory. Perhaps your relationship would affect your friends or the masses strongly in some way, hopefully in a positive way. What else...you have Ceres in your 5th house. It's not a major influence but this lady is a mother archetype so I suppose there's potential for offspring here. Speaking of Mars-Uranus again, if you both like dancing you could end up doing it a lot together. And your bedroom (hm, with this aspect it would likely be more than bedroom) games could get kinky but I guess you figured that out already. Also, you could be tempted to seek adrenaline kicks together, for example by riding a motorcycle. Btw, I can see you dance on a pole for him, hihi.

These are my impressions. Don't take my words too seriously.

posted March 18, 2016 08:00 PM            

Reliable and stable? That's also the impression I get here.

Reliability and stability may also be a huge turn on (at least to me haha).

posted March 20, 2016 05:07 AM            

So, here's my analysis from YOURs Aunt:

I'm wondering where your strong physical chemistry may come from. I see your Pluto opposite his Venus (8HR), your Venus sextile his, (both 8th house rulers) and a wide but I guess still acceptable Venus-Mars sextile. I don't know if I should count that Mars-Pluto sextile. Well, maybe these connections are enough. It probably helps that your Pluto is in your 8th and the opposition occurs in Scorpio-Taurus.

I think 8H is very important for me. There is something about the way he kisses/ touches me so far that sparks a ton of emotions.Not all of them are comfortable - I feel more vulnerable with him than I am used to. BUT, the weirdness is that he is a MUCH bigger guy than I am used to. I'm very small - 5', petite, and he is well over 6' - at least a foot taller, athletic and ... well let's just say that I'm not sure how sex is going to go (hehe). I think he is probably GOOD at it, but I'm only slightly terrified of our difference in builds...........O.O

Btw, I like your Moon-ASC sign sharing. Assuming you got his rising right. It should make it easier for you to be in tune emotionally. --- He pretty much picks up on my emotions no matter what. He is a sensitive enough guy that he does this well with everyone he knows; I've noticed it with him since we met many months ago.

I also suspect your tight Sun-Pluto square with him as Pluto could have something to do with his eagerness to make you his. -- He has already made clear he's with me (as long as I want to be). I'm already sure of his commitment. THAT is the biggest difference here from any romantic thing I've ever had.

Ok, now your composite.

I think ASC conjunct Moon from the 1st is a great thing to have. I believe it would be hard to escape an emotional bond with this aspect and the bond is likely to become strong if the people involved interact frequently. -- Yes, emotionally, I've never felt more safe with another person.

We also have Neptune as an integral part of your connection. You know what it means, right? Keep your eyes open and if you're lucky, you'll create your own private paradise together. --- Neptune, neptune, neptune. Oddly, it was Neptune conj. asc in my composite with my ex, which made our break up confusing as heck. Both of us feeling we loved each other but neither of us being able to be on the same page or understanding what any of it even meant. He also lied to me many times. So, I am a bit fearful of Neptune.. that being said, I am a dreamer, and so is this new guy. And, we already have our own private relationship stuff going on.

Sun and Mercury in the 2nd...I see a physically fulfilling relationship that brings a sense of security. But there could be also a little too much focus on money and possessions and conflicts in this area. Excessive possessiveness is an option too. -- Hmmmm I hope not of course. I am a musician and have to be very clever about how to make money. He CAN be possessive I think - but he is very mature so I'm hoping it never gets too excessive.

With Venus in the 4th you could spend lots of time at home and have a deep but quiet kind of love. It indicates a harmonious home environment. You could also decorate your place together. -- Already this makes sense. Our relationship started because I would cook dinners for him and our friends at my home. All of our dates so far (except one) have been at each others' homes just relaxing, which is something that I enjoy in getting to know him. We also both really enjoy home decor shops and throughout our friendship used to walk around looking at the different stores here haha.

The Mars-Venus sextile and Uranus in the mix should help maintain the excitement. Sun square Chiron looks potentially ouchey, let's hope it's about healing. -- Hope it heals!! He is coming RIGHT on the heels of my ex, who hurt me horribly, and he knows that. So that's my hope.

You got your smooth Sun-Saturn trine to take things seriously, woohoo. It's tight so I suppose it would be enough.

Your Mars is the 6th seems a little boring but if you both work out or do sports for health benefits or it's possible for you to work on projects together, it would make sense. -Hehe he is a coach, and we have been running buddies since September. Physical fitness has been a big part of it. So that does make sense to me.

Jupiter appears to be unaspected apart the connection to the Nodal axis, hm. Your 11th house is rather heavy and somewhat contradictory. Perhaps your relationship would affect your friends or the masses strongly in some way, hopefully in a positive way. - Our friends pretty much set us up. We are part of a very tight group of friends here, and they knew way before either of us did that we would probably date.

What else...you have Ceres in your 5th house. It's not a major influence but this lady is a mother archetype so I suppose there's potential for offspring here. -- He really wants and loves children (so do I), of course I can't possibly speculate about if he will be who I have them with.

Speaking of Mars-Uranus again, if you both like dancing you could end up doing it a lot together. And your bedroom (hm, with this aspect it would likely be more than bedroom) games could get kinky but I guess you figured that out already. -- We haven't fully slept together yet, but we do dance together sometimes, jokingly. He does seem very open sexually, which is good.

Also, you could be tempted to seek adrenaline kicks together, for example by riding a motorcycle. Btw, I can see you dance on a pole for him, hihi. --BAHAHAHAAA!!

Overall, a lot of interesting stuff.

I'm nervous about how important all of this feels, but when I am with him the nerves usually go away. All I know is that it is very positive, and very loving even though we have only just begun something. I hope I can eventually get over my ex enough to go all in with this guy, I am getting closer. There's just a lot I want to get clear on with myself.

posted March 20, 2016 05:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mir:
Outstanding thing: Sun/Saturn DW TRINE (tight).
Or, as we call such DW's here, a BEAR HUG. Makes both natal Sun/Saturn midpoints conjunct.

Reliable and stable? That's also the impression I get here.

Reliability and stability may also be a huge turn on (at least to me haha).

So don't tell me that Saturn can't be sexy ;D

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