Author
|
Topic: Your biggest irrational relationship fears come from the Descendant theory
|
meyray Knowflake Posts: 557 From: Registered: Oct 2012
|
posted May 02, 2016 06:43 PM
Some time ago when I was in an introspective mood I did some soul-searching and came to an interesting conclusion about myself and I want to see if this applies to others.We all know about the Descendant and what it means for relationships. Every beginner entering the branch of synastry hears the same thing ad nauseum the DSC is your ideal partner, look at the DSC, the DSC this, the DSC that. The Descendant is externalized so much that we forget that it is still a part of us. And everyone paints it in a positive light but, like all things, it too carries a shadow. My theory is that your deepest subconscious fears about love reflect the shadow of your Descendant sign. And these fears become very apparent if your DSC has afflictions and your love planets receive hits in the chart as well. What I came to realize about myself, when I was brutally honest about my fear is that what I dread the most are all things befitting my DSC sign. Now obviously all of the information below are things most people wont tolerate but Im talking about an immediate knee-jerk reaction, a pattern that always seems to be in the back of your head as a creeping suspicion. Fears that may be completely baseless in reality but you just cant shake them off. Also you, yourself may end up exhibiting this behavior but you would never ever admit it to yourself or even realize youre doing it so you project it on to others. What I managed to learn from this realization is that when you start seeing this behavior in your partner or expect it from them, instead of trying to fend it off you need to realize that its not real. Its a mirage that comes from within. Here is what I would imagine it would be for every Descendant: Aries DSC You fear that your SO will be impulsive and make careless decisions that will hurt you, that they will be selfish, unfaithful, put themselves first and get bored of you. In the worst cases that they may be violent and aggressive. Taurus DSC You fear that your SO will be hedonistic and indulgent (for sex, wealth or something else) and in the end always do what they please despite you. Also that they will be totalitarian, stubborn and you will always be the one to step down for their needs and wants. Gemini DSC You fear that your SO will always lie to you and be completely unreliable in life. That you will never really be enough for them and they will always have one foot outside the door be it emotionally, sexually or about something else. Cancer DSC You fear that your SO will be emotionally underdeveloped and you will have to be the parent in the relationship. That they will be a loser and act like a suffocating dependent child always in need of something, emotionally manipulating and blackmailing you. Leo DSC You fear that your SO will never love you for who you are but only as an extension of themselves. That they will be arrogant, demanding and oblivious to your needs and desires. That they love the attention they get more than you. Virgo DSC You fear that your SO will never truly love you or express their love for you. That they will eventually turn cold and critical and your relationship will feel like an obligation. That they will judge you and make you feel pathetic and not good enough. Libra DSC You fear that your SO will be fake and their love is a faηade. That they will only be with you as long as everything is okay but will turn the moment push comes to shove. That they love all the perks of the relationship but not really you. Scorpio DSC You fear that your SO will be cruel and try to dominate you. That they will eventually show a very ugly side and start playing with your heart, demanding too much from you but not holding up to those standards themselves. Sagittarius DSC You fear that your SO will never commit to you. That they will always put their own freedom and pleasure above you and run away from responsibility. That their love is only for the thrill they feel from it and it doesnt matter if its you or someone else. Capricorn DSC You fear that your SO will be cold and dominating. That they have ulterior motives and a heartless practical approach to love, meaning they wont feel anything if youre upset or the relationship ended. That they will have no problem disposing of you, if you arent useful anymore. Aquarius DSC You fear that your SO will be hypocritical, detached, uncommitted and not spare your feelings about it one bit. That they will invalidate all your needs and leave you voiceless in the relationship with a feeling of being unimportant. Pisces DSC You fear that your SO will have a weak character and turn to cheap and immediate thrills to escape from their problems. That they cant face reality, do things that hurt you and make themselves out to be the victim in the end. I want to see if people find this relatable because it was an epiphany moment for me. All my fears align with the shadow of Sagittarius but I also have Saturn square DSC and Pluto conjunct DSC so the Descendant expressing itself negatively may be more specific to me than for people in general.
Thoughts?
IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2310 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:03 PM
This seems pretty right on to me.IP: Logged |
Selenite Knowflake Posts: 1114 From: Lyra Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:04 PM
Aquarius DSC You fear that your SO will be hypocritical, detached, uncommitted and not spare your feelings about it one bit. That they will invalidate all your needs and leave you voiceless in the relationship with a feeling of being unimportant.-- Very well said, for all of them! I agree, and I want to add that my relationships tend to actually manifest like this. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2310 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:07 PM
How do we escaaaapeIP: Logged |
hearttreasure Knowflake Posts: 338 From: Registered: Jan 2015
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:23 PM
Gemini DSC You fear that your SO will always lie to you and be completely unreliable in life. That you will never really be enough for them and they will always have one foot outside the door be it emotionally, sexually or about something else.At first, I didn't have this fear at all, I always trusted my partner. Some of my friends told me that I was too naive until life gave me experiences. Now I have some of this fear, I hate being lied to and it becomes my first alert. IP: Logged |
llewsacm Knowflake Posts: 342 From: Cleveland, Ohio USA Registered: Mar 2015
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:42 PM
Well thought out observations. I immediately checked my own dsc description, along with that of my SO's. Mine does ring true. But then I read the entire list and I can say that I relate to each one of these fears in some way. I would suspect there is some fine tuning involved with really understanding our true relationship fears. These all sound so upsetting to me...but i cant say for sure that the cap dsc would be my deepest fear in a relationship. Maybe I need to dig deep and think more about this. Thanks for posting. IP: Logged |
mar1982delta Knowflake Posts: 1678 From: Registered: Nov 2015
|
posted May 02, 2016 07:44 PM
Wonderful thread and thoughts and yes, cancer dsc description totally resonates!!! Thanks for the info/food for thought!IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 17608 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted May 02, 2016 09:20 PM
These are amazing descriptions, meyrey. Brilliant approach. quote: Originally posted by yungang_grotto: How do we escaaaape
I think they also represent our projections and distortions. What we attract to ourselves and then increase by the power of our attention. We focus on what we fear and it seems to magnify that behavior in the other person. So I have an Aqua DSC, seeking something in the other person to keep my egocentric Leo ASC in check...but what if they take it too far and leave me voiceless??? I'm aware of how, in so many ways, I've actually shut up instead spoken, and then projected "repressive tendencies" onto my husband. It's like a filter: memories of him doing things that dissuade me from speaking stay inside. Memories of him being a great, compassionate listener who lets me be myself...somehow they get pushed out. Because of my fears. Please don't quote IP: Logged |
Gemini Blues Knowflake Posts: 1090 From: The future... or the past. I get them confused... Registered: May 2014
|
posted May 02, 2016 10:02 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray:Taurus DSC You fear that your SO will be hedonistic and indulgent (for sex...
That's about where I stopped reading. Scorpio Rising, 8th house Sun, Mars and Jupiter in Taurus/7th... Bring it! LOL! More seriously, I can see some of the other points. Maybe some of the more material fears, and the point that it can't be all one sided. IP: Logged |
Ceridwen Moderator Posts: 25753 From: Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted May 03, 2016 02:47 AM
Yes. Gemini-DESC and I can relate.IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 2773 From: Registered: Feb 2013
|
posted May 03, 2016 04:23 AM
on point for me - cancer desc.Ugh all of those things make my crawl in the worst of ways. Especially emotional manipulation and blackmailing - few things make me feel more insulted and violated than these two. Not just in romantic relationships, but in all kinds of inter-personal relationships, one whiff of such crp and I'll end it. IP: Logged |
meyray Knowflake Posts: 557 From: Registered: Oct 2012
|
posted May 03, 2016 05:57 AM
@Gemini BluesMaybe I didn't articulate myself well enough. My point about Taurus was that the self-indulgence would be a bad thing in spite of you - that they may care about their own pleasure more than you/the relationship and choose complacency over working on problems or that in fact their pleasure and material gain may even be reason for staying. IP: Logged |
meyray Knowflake Posts: 557 From: Registered: Oct 2012
|
posted May 03, 2016 06:09 AM
Thank you for the feedback everyone. I really want to stress one very important point that is actually the reason behind my idea. Yes, all of those description are pretty cringe and everyone finds them abhorring. But your DSC sign is what you expect most to happen. Basically in all of them selfishness and disregard are present. The difference between the signs is what it's about. Aries - victory, "their way" Taurus - material gain and sensual pleasures Gemini - freedom and variety Cancer - emotional well-being Leo - ego Virgo - perfection and expectations Libra - appearances Scorpio - control Sagittarius - adventure and experiences Capricorn - status and self-gain Aquarius - opinions and autonomy Pisces - idealism and martyrdom IP: Logged |
HelixID Knowflake Posts: 125 From: Registered: Jun 2014
|
posted May 03, 2016 06:12 AM
Libra DSC and I can definitely relate to the description.This also reminds me of Carl Jung, his Psychological Types and the concept of animus/anima. We all have a dominant function according to his theory and that would be analogous to the Ascendant, I guess. Our inferior function is repressed into the subconscious. We project this function (animus/anima)onto other people. This is what the Descendant would probably be. Jung was also into astrology, btw. IP: Logged |
KoreAbyss Knowflake Posts: 60 From: Registered: Apr 2016
|
posted May 03, 2016 06:26 AM
Libra DSC. Yes. Great work!IP: Logged |
Lotis White Moderator Posts: 2164 From: USA Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted May 03, 2016 06:39 AM
I can relate to the Gemini Dsc description as well. Those are probably my biggest fears.IP: Logged |
VirgoPILL Knowflake Posts: 314 From: cosmos Registered: Oct 2015
|
posted May 03, 2016 06:39 AM
wow meyray!gemini dsc, these fears came to reality once but was enough for me to subconsciously reject or work against to be in a serious relationship since then. this is obviously sabotaging myself but i'm working on it to turn around. also, these fears make me quite paranoid in friendships and other relations. IP: Logged |
Gemini Blues Knowflake Posts: 1090 From: The future... or the past. I get them confused... Registered: May 2014
|
posted May 03, 2016 05:18 PM
quote: Originally posted by meyray: @Gemini BluesMaybe I didn't articulate myself well enough. My point about Taurus was that the self-indulgence would be a bad thing in spite of you - that they may care about their own pleasure more than you/the relationship and choose complacency over working on problems or that in fact their pleasure and material gain may even be reason for staying.
No, I think you did fine. I think the factors in my chart make me willing to indulge those things for a time, even though it may be unhealthy to do so. At least until my Leo Moon square that Taurus Jupiter said "Enough!"
IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2310 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
|
posted May 03, 2016 05:46 PM
I both admire and am flabbergasted by Taurus energy. Maybe there's fear mixed in there--you know--of course. It's on my descendant also. Like GeminiBlues, I will also indulge a lot of indulgence on the part of my partners, in part perhaps because I'm in awe of anyone who's able to be that comfortable in their skin! I have a lot of Scorpio... i don't think we're famous for being really comfortable and enjoying simple pleasures... lol...My present partner has Mars conjunct my descendant and also Mercury, Venus, Chiron and POF in Taurus... he is otherwise an Aries with Sun and Moon there (well Moon is at 0 Aries and he expresses a heady dose of Pisces also). Anyway he is one of the more selfish people I've dated, and one of the least selfish at the same time... he doesn't want to be selfish or hurt anybody, and in some ways doeskeep himself in check and is aware of it... as aware as an Aries could be! Or maybe there are more self aware ones out there... anyway. With my Libra Venus i like revolving around a lover a little bit. And i don't know if it worries me especially that he is getting more measurable pleasure from our sexual relations... if you know what I mean?... but he is. Mostly I've been able to get off with my lovers but with him I just enjoy it a lot and am really into it but don't spend a lot of time orgasming. It's hard for him --lol--maybe harder for him than for me... because I have always given priority in terms of pleasure and comfort to my partners. I'm not happy unless they are. I think that's maybe something i need to work on and integrate but it makes perfect sense in the context of the Taurus descendant. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2310 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
|
posted May 03, 2016 05:53 PM
I think the trick in terms of the fear of always stepping down for their totalitarian needs and wants deal is to find someone whose priorities and sensitivities match yours at least kind of well. And yes... remembering to integrate that "other," because that shadow side really is actually part of us. So to recognize where we might do those things in certain areas and to modify so that we're expressing the positive side of that sign and understanding where the scary potentials may stem from... i dunno. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2310 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
|
posted May 03, 2016 08:46 PM
Also Faith I big time hear you re: fears being projected and magnified. Those ill treatments unfortunately do tend to stick with us more sometimes... that's the negative power of fear/shadow based mentalities, unclaimed or rejected aspects of ourselves... which i know quite well myself... it is a sticking point...IP: Logged |
Gabby Moderator Posts: 8579 From: Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted May 03, 2016 11:22 PM
Aries DSC You fear that your SO will be impulsive and make careless decisions that will hurt you, that they will be selfish, unfaithful, put themselves first and get bored of you. In the worst cases that they may be violent and aggressive.Yep, yep...my biggest fear is to allow a guy close to me and then realize hes just another big bully im going to have to find a way to escape from! Another guy that wont respect my words or needs and forces me to go to extremes just to get him to leave me alone because he wont take no for an answer. A guy who my words are not even a thought in his tiny lil neanderthal brain, poor thing, his knuckles are even bloody from dragging the ground, yep....that does sound like an Aries guy to me! 😂 IP: Logged |
AngaCrowley Knowflake Posts: 166 From: Baltimore, MD Registered: Feb 2015
|
posted May 04, 2016 02:38 AM
Aquarius DSC. This is *spot* on. quote: Originally posted by yungang_grotto: How do we escaaaape
This ^ IP: Logged |
Belage Knowflake Posts: 2059 From: USA Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted May 04, 2016 11:02 AM
quote: Originally posted by llewsacm: Well thought out observations. I immediately checked my own dsc description, along with that of my SO's. Mine does ring true. But then I read the entire list and I can say that I relate to each one of these fears in some way. I would suspect there is some fine tuning involved with really understanding our true relationship fears. These all sound so upsetting to me...but i cant say for sure that the cap dsc would be my deepest fear in a relationship. Maybe I need to dig deep and think more about this. Thanks for posting.
That was my issue as well. I felt that I could relate to most of the fears listed when I checked the other descendants. Perhaps a better way to test this would have been to ask us to look at each description without naming the sign and let us choose which one feels right. And if the answer matched our actual descendant, then bingo for sure! IP: Logged |
Electro DGX Knowflake Posts: 618 From: Vega (not confirmed yet) Registered: Jul 2015
|
posted May 04, 2016 11:21 AM
The first sentence of the Taurus descendant doesn't resonate very well but the last bit does. If I have to stand down and serve you to keep the relationship going, you can kiss that relationship goodbye. ------------------ Aquarius Sun, Merc, Venus, Uranus, Neptune Scorpio Mars conj. Asc in First 8th House Moon opposite Pluto, Trine Uranus Have you caught onto the predicament I'm in yet? IP: Logged |