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Author Topic:   Divorce & our Composite...trying to understand
DreamCatcher
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posted May 04, 2016 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, so I;ve recently been uncovering some things about myself and my divorce through therapy...it appears I was emotionally abused and misled for pretty much ten years! By looking at our natal and composite, can you see this abuse and how can I avoid this for the future?? My natal is first, composite middle, the ex at the end...I really appreciate any and all input.

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 08:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just let me know if I've posted this in the wrong spot

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margym0o
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posted May 05, 2016 08:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can you post just a regular synastry + composite off astrodienst? These are small and coloured lines are kinda hard to read

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The composite is very... very, very fraught. The relationship probably never settled into anything which resembled a secure supportive environment... Saturn/Juno square the Moon, Venus opposition Uranus, Sun-Chiron-Mercury square Mars...

His chart is very telling, almost a case study in an abusive individual. That stellium concentrated in Aries and spilling into Taurus--even Venus in Aries, opposite Pluto! Saturn on the ascendant square Mercury/Jupiter/Chiron/Sun.. verbally belittling due to incredibly deep insecurity within himself... Mars square Pluto--a terrible temper, and appetitive very likely, devious controlling and suspicious attitudes towards love, sex and power unrestrained by any sense of propriety (Venus opposition Pluto on the IC!). We see his Cancer Mars debilitated badly; he will always be compensating for his lack of a sense of his own masculinity in overt and likely yeah pretty scary ways. He is also probably very deep in self pity and self absorption and truly unable to see how incredibly selfish and harmful he is acting... all that Aries, with such a chart configuration... my goodness. But he does have the Sun-Chiron-Mercury-Jupiter-Pallas and is likely methodical and plans things out in very detailed ways. Or he would if it weren't concentrated in Aries. Is he very career oriented?

With the Moon at the very end of the 1st house as part of that kite with Neptune, Sun, and Pluto, he is easily able to justify his own behaviour to himself and others and appear comfortable enough in his own skin that he gets away with things by appearing to be fine. "Everything is fine, I'm fine, see? Why aren't you fine?" It is a farce but it doesn't matter. Somebody gave him enough self assurance and modeling that he knows how to look normal, and genuinely feel normal, about the abusive situations. That's the thing that really enables abuse: genuinely believing it's alright to do that thing. We see here that he does believe he's alright, that his attitudes towards gender are healthy, etc.

And all that energy of the kite funneling down into his Pluto on the IC.. causing mega upheaval and stress for c whoever knows him intimately, personally. A traumatic or devious/intimidating home life with many power struggles and possibly several traumatic events limited to sexuality is likely indicated here, but can't say for sure.

Will move on to your chart soon. It would be good to see a synastry biwheel.. please.

Sorry you endured this insufferable person for so long... definitely there are going to be some take away lessons for you...

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 11:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So you have the Sun in the 12th house. There are important elements of masculinity or men in your life which are hidden from your conscious understanding and yet they inform much of what you do and who you understand yourself to be. You need to try to become conscious of your deep programming and subconscious projections of father figures and male mates and your own animus.... and start to own that. You need to BE the Sun rather than letting other people embody that for you... becausefrankly they can't be trusted with it. Better the devil you know, right? You need to step into your own power and life force and not give it away to others. With an opposition to Uranus directly on the 7th house cusp, we see the great liklihood of outside events and people playing out this unaware Sun's destructive and undermining abilities in ways which are very disruptive to you. It is understandable that you found yourself in this situation... and important that you get in touch with your own yang/masculine nature.

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Gabby
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posted May 05, 2016 11:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You could also add asteroid Dejanira(157)
By the way im blown away how his Nessus is sitting exact on your Venus...that right there shows high potential for abuse! He would abuse your love..id like to see Dejanira in there to.

Here is a list of negative couple pairings...you can see if you get any tight aspects between these.

Ixion (28978)-Nephlele (431)
Jason (6063)-Medea (212)
Narcissus (37117)-Echo (60)
Nessus (7066)-Dejanira (157)
Philomela (196)-Thereus (32532)?, Saturn?
Thereus (32532)-Ariadne (43)

Philomela is probably the most abusive story ive ever heard in astrology....there is debate about whether that particular asteriod "Thereus" works as her partner but give it a try. Saturn is another potential partner for her because there is a crater with the exact name of her husband, the man who abused her, cut out her tongue and i think raped other members of her family...thats why he cut out her tongue so she couldnt tell. Dont quote me its been awhile since i read her story.
Anyway....check them out.

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yungang_grotto
Knowflake

Posts: 2310
From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 11:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You also have a beautiful and somewhat dangerous tendency to really really want to see the best in people. You are probably very fun and fun loving with Jupiter part of such a strong configuration on the cusp of the 5th. It is conjunct Mars and opposite the Moon, so maybe power imbalances seem natural and right to you and we're a part of your home environment growing up. Maybe emotionally you felt like a spectator of some grand show which sometimes got out of hand energetically, and which somewhat debilitated your feeling like you could act in it.

You need to watch out for delusion in personal relationships and not give people so much of the benefit of the doubt. Neptune opposite Venus, square Saturn, trine Jupiter-Mars... you really have a lot of work to do in terms of finding out what's real and sorting out the wheat from the chaff in your life. It seems that you are well on your way though and I commend you for inquiring here and for delving into your experiences through therapy. Hopefully through consulting with others there can actually be positive breakthroughs as you say there have been; Uranus on the cusp of the 7th can bring that too.

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 11:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
With your North Node in Leo near that Jupiter-Mars on the 5th house cusp it's important that you be the Centre figure in your life. You need to really shine your beautiful loving heart out and not let other people take Centre stage. You are the star here! Feel your glory and your beauty and your freedom and don't let anybody say you should give that up for the good of the group or collective.

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 11:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And this guy... he needs to learn how to use Scorpio energy so that it doesn't destroy/harm people... yeesh. Or maybe that's part of his path. What a chart, seriously... very challenging. I might have been a shade too negative but he does look like a very domineeri mm g individual. It's "hard" to be a male Aries in this society because everything is given to you on a silver platter and you need to work sooo hard just to recognize your own entitlement and then work through the guilt associated with that...

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yungang_grotto
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Posts: 2310
From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Composite North Node is in Libra and falls on your Lilith and his Pluto/IC. The mission of this relationship is fulfilled energetically by your empowerment, putting your foot down and saying "I'm gonna do what's right for me, no matter what that takes, no matter who hates it." For him, he fueled this mission with his Plutonic upwelling of energy... his desire for control and domination, his deep inner need for power... he got to recognize more of his Plutonic nature through relating to you, and hopefully the consequence of divorce will teach him about how to use it more responsibly.

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Gabby
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posted May 05, 2016 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@yungang_grotto....amazing analysis! I love how deeply your looking at the charts and your thoughts are spot on. Plus its so kind that your willing to take the time to do this...how kind and thoughtful of you!❤️

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YUNGANG-
If I could hug you, I WOULD!

You have PEGGED my X, my relationship with him and ME so dead on , it is not even funny.

Domineering? YOU HAVE NO IDEA! The sex was basically non existent, and he always blamed me. He treated me like his daughter, and I always felt like a dog fighting for scraps of affection. This was also part of my childhood, dealing with a father and mother that both truly withheld affection.

Now also- he was /is VERY CONTROLLING and emotionally abusive. The word C*nt was what he would say to me among many other things, he has called me a retard, asked me if I have a learning disability, critiqued everything about me, then when I would get upset "I'm not a bad guy, I'm doing this for your own good". But then he also knows how empathetic I am , and psychically receptive, so he knows how to play to my weaknesses.

My goodness- you have totally pegged him, and this has been eye opening for me. I am really trying hard to go into my north node leo power, and laos learning to embrace and deal with my Sun/pluto opposition natally. I need to NOT attract this kind of partner in my life again. I am a sweet, sensitive and VERY psychic woman that knows she deserves the very best, but yes, that Neptune does cause problems for me. It makes it hard for me to trust....

So judging from all you have said, I should STOP feeling guilty for leaving, and realize that leaving this abousive marriage was the BEST Thing for me, and probably step one of owning my power? It's been REALLY hard, and he's been using manipulation tactics to try and get me back, although I don't know why?? He does not truly LOVE me. This is all so horribly confusing!! I feel like I will never find myself OR true love for that matter. IT scares me.

My family does not truly get it either because hey, he TAKES CARE OF ME RIGHT?? PSSTTT all a part of his manipulation tactics....

THANK YOU YUNGANG!!!

If there's anything else you wish to tell me based off of the above, I would really appreciate it....

I could also give you a psychic reading of any issue(s) of your choice....just let me know.

ALL of this rings very true...if you have any questions about it, let me know.

(((HUGS))))

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 01:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh and to answer your question: He is VERY career oriented and ALL he cares about is money! Very controlling with that as well. And yes to the verbal belittling (but it's for my own good)!!

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DreamCatcher
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From: United States
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posted May 05, 2016 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Composite North Node is in Libra and falls on your Lilith and his Pluto/IC. The mission of this relationship is fulfilled energetically by your empowerment, putting your foot down and saying "I'm gonna do what's right for me, no matter what that takes, no matter who hates it." For him, he fueled this mission with his Plutonic upwelling of energy... his desire for control and domination, his deep inner need for power... he got to recognize more of his Plutonic nature through relating to you, and hopefully the consequence of divorce will teach him about how to use it more responsibly.

OMG AGAIN I LOVE YOU. This is what I have been feeling intuitively! Me walking away with my head held high is MY lesson in all of this. Giving up the material security, and willing to go on my own because well, I feel I HAVE To. There's no other way as my soul was dying with him more and more each passing day.

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's the synastry you requested

I'm on the outside, he's the inside

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 01:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
You could also add asteroid Dejanira(157)
By the way im blown away how his Nessus is sitting exact on your Venus...that right there shows high potential for abuse! He would abuse your love..id like to see Dejanira in there to.

Here is a list of negative couple pairings...you can see if you get any tight aspects between these.

Ixion (28978)-Nephlele (431)


Jason (6063)-Medea (212)
Narcissus (37117)-Echo (60)
Nessus (7066)-Dejanira (157)
Philomela (196)-Thereus (32532)?, Saturn?
Thereus (32532)-Ariadne (43)

Philomela is probably the most abusive story ive ever heard in astrology....there is debate about whether that particular asteriod "Thereus" works as her partner but give it a try. Saturn is another potential partner for her because there is a crater with the exact name of her husband, the man who abused her, cut out her tongue and i think raped other members of her family...thats why he cut out her tongue so she couldnt tell. Dont quote me its been awhile since i read her story.
Anyway....check them out.


Thanks for this Gabby..I figured Nessus would factor into this somehow...yikes

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yungang_grotto
Knowflake

Posts: 2310
From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So happy to hear i could help. You definitely definitely are doing the right thing by leaving him. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know it feels very dark right now but this is indeed the dawning of a new Era for your life. I would be very interested to see your progressed chart and solar arcs, transits, etc., for this time because a big shift is happening. I have been in abusive situations too and i know how demoralizing and soul killing it is and how long it takes to regain a healthy sense of self worth <3 but leaving is definitely the first step and you're doing it! I know how hard it is especially without support from your family. You're brilliant and wonderfully caring... you have so much to give to the world. Kind people will enter your life as you grow to really see your own brilliance. It will be reflected by those you encounter.

It's so interesting how the synastry is characterized by quincunxes... deep misunderstanding, lots of crossed wires there... and a theme of separation... I am glad you posted the Natals and composite first and I can see now better than ever why it's so important to analyze the natal charts before even attempting to understand the synastry..

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 03:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
You also have a beautiful and somewhat dangerous tendency to really really want to see the best in people. You are probably very fun and fun loving with Jupiter part of such a strong configuration on the cusp of the 5th. It is conjunct Mars and opposite the Moon, so maybe power imbalances seem natural and right to you and we're a part of your home environment growing up. Maybe emotionally you felt like a spectator of some grand show which sometimes got out of hand energetically, and which somewhat debilitated your feeling like you could act in it.

You need to watch out for delusion in personal relationships and not give people so much of the benefit of the doubt. Neptune opposite Venus, square Saturn, trine Jupiter-Mars... you really have a lot of work to do in terms of finding out what's real and sorting out the wheat from the chaff in your life. It seems that you are well on your way though and I commend you for inquiring here and for delving into your experiences through therapy. Hopefully through consulting with others there can actually be positive breakthroughs as you say there have been; Uranus on the cusp of the 7th can bring that too.


I'm sorry to keep quoting, but I keep re-reading what you have written and every time it hits me harder and brings tears to my eyes (in a good way)! This has all been so eye opening, and its nice to hear a "stranger" see the good in me

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DreamCatcher
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posted May 05, 2016 03:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
So happy to hear i could help. You definitely definitely are doing the right thing by leaving him. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know it feels very dark right now but this is indeed the dawning of a new Era for your life. I would be very interested to see your progressed chart and solar arcs, transits, etc., for this time because a big shift is happening. I have been in abusive situations too and i know how demoralizing and soul killing it is and how long it takes to regain a healthy sense of self worth <3 but leaving is definitely the first step and you're doing it! I know how hard it is especially without support from your family. You're brilliant and wonderfully caring... you have so much to give to the world. Kind people will enter your life as you grow to really see your own brilliance. It will be reflected by those you encounter.

It's so interesting how the synastry is characterized by quincunxes... deep misunderstanding, lots of crossed wires there... and a theme of separation... I am glad you posted the Natals and composite first and I can see now better than ever why it's so important to analyze the natal charts before even attempting to understand the synastry..


I would LOVE to post my transits/natal for you...which chart style is the best to use for that? I DO know that I have Saturn going through my 7th or 5th and pluto over my 8th...I'm sure it would be interesting for you to see whats going on! If you could kindly tell me the best way to post that chart for you (the style) I wile more than HAPPY to oblige...and thank you yet again, from the bottom of my heart.

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 03:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes! Oh you're so sweet. Your chart shows great sensitivity, and your tendency to accept harsh criticism of you is due to unrealistic or too harsh self appraisal as well as that Saturn and Jupiter in Virgo... you need to use that Saturn to distinguish what's true and what's not; that means accepting and enhancing the gold nuggets and letting all the stuff you don't want fall away...

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yungang_grotto
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From: intimate sky dot net
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posted May 05, 2016 03:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry I'm just about to leave town for a couple days again and won't be able to post much about 5 minutes from now... but ideally you could send me your birth sata and i could use my software to look into things for you. My email address is somewhere on this website: intimatesky.net and you can post here as well with progressed + natal, so folks can see what's going on also. You're right i am very interested to see what's going on for you. If you could send me the date of the separation and anything else you feel is relevant that would be great.

Thanks <3 wishing you all the best and feeling so happy myself to have helped you see your own awesomeness! Thank you for being here!

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DreamCatcher
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From: United States
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posted May 05, 2016 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
I'm sorry I'm just about to leave town for a couple days again and won't be able to post much about 5 minutes from now... but ideally you could send me your birth sata and i could use my software to look into things for you. My email address is somewhere on this website: intimatesky.net and you can post here as well with progressed + natal, so folks can see what's going on also. You're right i am very interested to see what's going on for you. If you could send me the date of the separation and anything else you feel is relevant that would be great.

Thanks <3 wishing you all the best and feeling so happy myself to have helped you see your own awesomeness! Thank you for being here!


Great Thank you..

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angel4845
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Posts: 2528
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2014

posted May 05, 2016 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel4845     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@GABBY

Love the negative asteroid pairings!!!! Your amazing gabby!!! I Just found my treasure

Omg gabby philomela is on my DESC...

@DreamCatcher

When did you divorce?

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DreamCatcher
Knowflake

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From: United States
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posted May 05, 2016 10:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreamCatcher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by angel4845:
@GABBY

Love the negative asteroid pairings!!!! Your amazing gabby!!! I Just found my treasure

Omg gabby philomela is on my DESC...

@DreamCatcher

When did you divorce?


@Angel- legally separated at the end of january...Hopefully divorced by the end of august

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EmGem
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posted May 05, 2016 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DreamCatcher:
YUNGANG-
If I could hug you, I WOULD!

You have PEGGED my X, my relationship with him and ME so dead on , it is not even funny.

Domineering? YOU HAVE NO IDEA! The sex was basically non existent, and he always blamed me. He treated me like his daughter, and I always felt like a dog fighting for scraps of affection. This was also part of my childhood, dealing with a father and mother that both truly withheld affection.

Now also- he was /is VERY CONTROLLING and emotionally abusive. The word C*nt was what he would say to me among many other things, he has called me a retard, asked me if I have a learning disability, critiqued everything about me, then when I would get upset "I'm not a bad guy, I'm doing this for your own good". But then he also knows how empathetic I am , and psychically receptive, so he knows how to play to my weaknesses.

My goodness- you have totally pegged him, and this has been eye opening for me. I am really trying hard to go into my north node leo power, and laos learning to embrace and deal with my Sun/pluto opposition natally. I need to NOT attract this kind of partner in my life again. I am a sweet, sensitive and VERY psychic woman that knows she deserves the very best, but yes, that Neptune does cause problems for me. It makes it hard for me to trust....

So judging from all you have said, I should STOP feeling guilty for leaving, and realize that leaving this abousive marriage was the BEST Thing for me, and probably step one of owning my power? It's been REALLY hard, and he's been using manipulation tactics to try and get me back, although I don't know why?? He does not truly LOVE me. This is all so horribly confusing!! I feel like I will never find myself OR true love for that matter. IT scares me.

My family does not truly get it either because hey, he TAKES CARE OF ME RIGHT?? PSSTTT all a part of his manipulation tactics....

THANK YOU YUNGANG!!!

If there's anything else you wish to tell me based off of the above, I would really appreciate it....

I could also give you a psychic reading of any issue(s) of your choice....just let me know.

ALL of this rings very true...if you have any questions about it, let me know.

(((HUGS))))


OMG you have described pretty much my 10 year relationship. It too was emotionally abusive. Manipulative, you name it. We recently got divorced and I still carry feelings of guilt for leaving him. I'm working on it but it's so hard. I feel for you, giving you a big hug of strength
He said to me "you have ruined my life" when I left him. Tried to manipulate me into coming back too.

You have done the BEST thing for your life trust me. Just remember that the universe wants what is best for you. It's one of the hardest things going through a divorce so make sure you have a good support network around you. Wishing you all the best.

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