posted May 24, 2016 08:35 PM            

Since then, I finally admitted to him I still liked him (and actually admitted I was crazy about him), and had been trying to fix things (we have some doozy Saturn...dW stuff. Sun AND Moon Saturn aspects. I'm a Cap Moon, he's a Cap Rising), but he made it very clear he did not want contact or for me to bother him about the matter. Every once in a while when he is far away he will stare at me (when he leaves work esp), but up close or if he passes me by he ignores me.

I have told him I truly care for him, and only want him. He has never actually told me he didn't feel anything or have zero attraction for me. I don't understand why won't he just say he doesn't feel anything for me?

He is a Virgo Sun/Scorp Mars, and I'm a Cancer Sun/Mars. I feel like he feels something for me (or am I snowing myself). But for some reason won't admit it or just reject me (esp when he has been very clear about not wanting me to contact him about changing his mind) and say he doesn't feel anything to get me off his case. I even said that to him, he knows I focus on feelings so why not just do that. He recently got very angry with me, I ignored him, and was friendly with another person in front of him and that same night had a male friend come and pick me up. Apparently my male friend (who is gay) noticed that he looked very upset towards my direction. Which I don't understand (esp if he has said there is nowhere we can go from there). I ended up texting him a few days later telling him that I was thinking of him and that I hoped he had a good day, and that the guy was just a friend (who is gay). He responded with the coldest text. That I was bothering him and that he wanted me to STOP contacting him concerning the matter or he would go to HR and block me. I replied with if you are really that bothered by me, don't threaten...do it. My loud Leo Mercury mouth ran and I told others at work what he said to me...and then he went to HR. Which is strange because I got him in trouble, and he got me in trouble.

posted May 24, 2016 08:53 PM            

You said you liked him - he didn't respond. That should have been your first clue to back up. You then proceeded to text him after that, and he said you were bothering him and he wanted you to go away. That was your second clue.

You need to take the hint.

I don't believe he is hiding his true feelings for you, but he simply wants to keep the peace at work, (if there's any left to be kept) so he hasn't rejected you, verbally. Point blank. You said it yourself - you have a big mouth. You went off and told the HR about some b.s text he sent you. That was very unnecessary, and immature on your behalf. I can only imagine what you'd do and who you'd tell if he said he didn't like you - and based on his lack of explanation, I bet he feels/thinks that same.

Astrology aside, anyone can be mean if you push the right buttons.

posted May 24, 2016 09:01 PM            

I also text him a bit trying a few times before he even said to stop contacting him (not that I'm proud of that). It was super excessive I will admit (I have a Moon Square Pluto and in Synastry we have Pluto Conjunct Mars, Venus and Moon Conjunct, Moon Conjunct his Asc, and my Asc in Cancer and his in Cap...so I actually really really like him...plus my Cancer and Pluto influenced self says that if you truly care for someone you will try...if you give up easily even after they say I'm done that they don't really care...but then again that makes sense in water sign logic), but I felt this connection and thought he felt somewhat the same.

posted May 24, 2016 09:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
Well actually I didn't tell HR. He did. I opened my big mouth and told people about what he said to me text wise. I also told people about my crush on him. He got more distant when I started to tell people things.

I also text him a bit trying (yeah it was super excessive I will admit...I have a Moon Square Pluto and in Synastry we have Pluto Conjunct Mars and Venus and Moon Opp...plus my Cancer and Pluto influenced self says that if you truly care for someone you will try...if you give up easily even after they say I'm done that they don't really care...but then again that makes sense in water sign logic). He is a Virgo so super analytical, but he has his Sun Square Pluto, his Moon Opp Pluto and his Mars in Scorpio. I'm wondering if that would make him much less likely to be someone to take at face value.

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posted May 24, 2016 09:30 PM            

quote:

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I don't believe he is hiding his true feelings for you, but he simply wants to keep the peace at work, (if there's any left to be kept) so he hasn't rejected you, verbally. Point blank. [/B]

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I actually thought about this as well. He IS a Libra Venus, so his default would be to be as polite as possible and try to keep the peace. I had been attributing his lack of initiative to his Saturn Square my Mars aspect. I know he told HR that he was feeling uncomfortable, I felt terrible because I wondered why didn't he just say that he didn't feel anything (I'm not sure what made him feel uncomfortable....my attention, feelings, and spreading stuff or all of it). Or why didn't he just block me. I came to the conclusion that he was actually being polite and I pushed.

posted May 24, 2016 09:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
I actually thought about this as well. He IS a Libra Venus, so his default would be to be as polite as possible and try to keep the peace. I had been attributing his lack of initiative to his Saturn Square my Mars aspect. I know he told HR that he was feeling uncomfortable, I felt terrible because I wondered why didn't he just say that he didn't feel anything (I'm not sure what made him feel uncomfortable....my attention, feelings, and spreading stuff or all of it). Or why didn't he just block me. I came to the conclusion that he was actually being polite and I pushed.

I have natal Venus Opp Saturn, so it's easier for me to just say that he never cared and that I had been seeing what I wanted to see all along. And that I have behaved like a psycho dramatic person.

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posted May 24, 2016 09:53 PM            

I have noticed in Taurus Moon men, when they don't feel anything or aren't interested they have no problem telling you so. I liked a Virgo Sun/Taurus Moon/Libra Venus guy before and he would ALWAYS try to deflect my interest and be like you aren't into me. I've noticed that Taurus influenced men tend to be pretty blunt if they aren't interested. I coupled that and his Scorpio Mars and I figured that would make for a person who if pushed to the point that he can say I'm bothering him regarding the matter (as opposed to just blocking and ignoring...which is what I would have done)...would certainly be able and willing to say they don't feel anything in order to get the person to finally get that they don't feel stuff...again especially when they know said person focuses on feelings and emotions. Hopefully that makes sense lol.

I typically NEVER come on this strong. Actually I don't think I've ever come on this strong before. It's like I said before we have Mars Conjunct Pluto. I'm the Pluto person and I'll admit I really want him. I do have a Cap Moon so I'm trying to stay somewhat logical.

For instance I dressed up at work one day in which he knew my schedule. Two days later (again he knew my schedule) he proceeded to dress up more nicely and a few co-workers even mentioned that he looked really nice (he said he was dressed up because he had no other clean clothing). He was asked if he noticed that I had been dressing up, he told her he had noticed, and proceeded to tell her that there is nowhere to go from here. I saw him at work, and noticed he looked at me before he left so I text him telling him I know what he told the coworker about me...and that I really liked him...wanted only him and his attention and hoped he reconsider being angry at me because his eye contact made me melt (yeah I know...trust me I'm not so sure how I got to be so freaking bold lol). And he responded with that he wanted me to please stop contacting him.

I will admit that even for water signs that is crazy lol...I guess I had hoped he would just push and be like you're crazy...I don't feel anything, leave me alone. I know my Pluto stuff needs to crash and burn before something can die. Ugh I hate that.

posted May 24, 2016 10:30 PM            

Taking that into consideration I would assume that taking his text at face value he does not want me to talk to him or text him about us getting along romantically. That my contact or telling him how I feel is not something he wants to hear. He isn't against me...but that I need to stop pushing him to change his mind. Maybe I need to embrace my Taurus Venus...look pretty and let him come to me lol.

As of right now with him going to HR we have to both be professional (he has to stop ignoring me in front of others)...I have to stop talking about him and cease contact. After he made a threat to go to HR I was literally at the point where I was done. I realized I reached full crazy. But then I noticed him looking at me again from afar (or again perhaps it is me seeing things). I will say this...he brings out a very very emotional and reactive part of myself. Like I react first then think later. Another co-worker noticed that we have this strange energy between us, I honestly want this to go away it's exhausting. And I believe he is fully aware of what he is doing to me. I've told him I wanted him to ask me out so we could be alone because I have a strong desire for him to kiss me (again I know!!). After that he couldn't look me in the eyes for like two weeks. I took that as a rejection and stopped trying and then all of a sudden the eye contact came back...this time when I passed by.

posted May 25, 2016 10:17 AM            

This has nothing to do with astrology, sorry. I know people with similar placements and they do not act like this. This is just toxic human behaviour, plain and simple. You are young and have a lot to learn, mostly about how far this boy has taken you over the edge and how it is NOT worth the time and embarrassment this has caused you personally and professionally. The fact that your workplace HR is involved is WAY beyond acceptable over a crush where you're trying so desperately to make his behaviour mean something, despite him giving you MORE than enough hints to stay away. He was probably trying to spare your feelings by not telling you to your face that he doesn't like you, and instead went AROUND you to the highest possible level to try and prove his point and you STILL don't get it.

posted May 25, 2016 11:44 AM            

Speaking as a Scorp/Pluto influenced person myself, I'd say that we are suspicious of grand declarations right off the bat. Especially if they seemingly come out of nowhere. Also, that we do *not* like any part of our private lives aired in front of other people. Except maybe a wedding invite, to a select few, when the time comes.

Having said that -- we don't even know if he is truly Scorp/Pluto influenced to begin with - 'coz there are a lot of factors that play into it. Scorp Mars may give a strong hint of that flavour, sure. But that's not the whole picture.

Whether or not he is, doesn't matter at this point. The complaint to HR is quite worrisome, IMO. How are you not stressed about that? Not that I want you to be, just saying...stay safe and keep yourself in the clear. I dunno what actions they took/ will take. But if I were you, I'd go apologize and assure them/him it won't happen again. Right now, you're smitten with him. But when the fog clears, you wouldn't want to be saddled with the feeling that you lost some of your dignity for someone that wasn't into you.

posted May 25, 2016 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:

Having said that -- we don't even know if he is truly Scorp/Pluto influenced to begin with - 'coz there are a lot of factors that play into it. Scorp Mars may give a strong hint of that flavour, sure. But that's not the whole picture.

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You're right. He has his Virgo Sun Square Pluto tightly (it's his closest stress aspect, less than 1 degree and applying). His Taurus Moon Opp Pluto, and his Libra Venus Sextile Pluto. So I took that as him being pretty Scorp/Pluto influenced.

posted May 25, 2016 05:09 PM            

I second Vajra's words and those of others who have advised you to leave him alone completely as he has made it very clear (in your own words) that he does not want this attention from you.

It's really appalling to have your sexual intensity exploited and boundaries crossed. I am speaking from experience as a very Plutonic person. Even if I'm oozing animal intensity, if I've told you not to touch me and made it clear you make me uncomfortable, don't come up from behind and jump on my back! (This has happened to me, an Aries Sun who is a womanizer and thinks no means try again. IT DOESN'T.)

The thing about Plutonic people is that they can be extrenely magnetic.... especially to those who aspect their Pluto... And, well, anybody can be magnetic when their Pluto is being hit in an interchart aspect.. but perhaps especially Plutonians as all sorts of things will be tied into that Pluto contact.

And it's not their fault. It doesn't mean they're into you. At all. Even if some part of their animal nature is resonating with you and their eye contact seems to tell some intriguing story, you NEED to respect that that whole person is actually likely repulsed by you in every way (because the more you cross boundaries the more the repulsion grows) and any attraction they feel is against their own will.

Trying to get people to do things they don't want to do... especially in intimate situations.. It makes for people blaming themselves for feeling a little bit of pleasure in a situation which by and large they LOATHE. Don't exploit people's sexuality. Don't. Don't do it. It is very messy energetically, karmically. It will get you in trouble with more than HR, imo.

So in short: even if somebody is a Scorpio/Pluto influenced individual and has a strong secret inner private sexy life... even if they WERE somewhat attracted to you on some level--if they've decided and told you clearly that they don't want you to talk to them, you STOP. Your limited knowledge of their secret inner life as per astrology (which even with all the astrology in the world you still really know so little about) does NOT give you permission to probe ANY FURTHER AT ALL if they've made it clear they don't want you to. You are digging yourself in deep here. I advise you stop and redirect your energy elsewhere.

posted May 25, 2016 05:32 PM            

That was very well said, and could be applicable to everyone, not just Scorp/Pluto influenced people.

posted May 25, 2016 06:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LaceyLeigh:
Yun,

That was very well said, and could be applicable to everyone, not just Scorp/Pluto influenced people.

No, means no.

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posted May 25, 2016 06:54 PM            

Often when I read posts of this nature of these boards, I give the OP the benefit of the doubt. Only they truly know the situation as they're the ones walking down the beaten road. *They* can sense the energies, only *they* know the subtlety of the situation.. a 3rd party reading in does not. There have been many fantastical situations in my life where I knew if I retold the story to others, people would think I was absolutely nuts. Trusting in your intuition goes a long way in life. I think you've always had very strong intuition, hence why you're stubbornly running with your take on your co-workers feelings instead of swallowing your pride and taking his actions at face value.

Consider that, as others stated, his eye contact is focusing in on you because he views your presence as a threat, and he's now doubly careful whenever you're around because he's afraid of being stalked/attacked? It would not be out of line for him to feel this way given the fact you've disregarded his boundaries to an alarming extent already.

Also that your co-workers picking up on the energy between you is not necessarily a positive thing. They may not be picking up on sexual tension, but perhaps a thick unease in the air?

He's making it known that you are heavily crossing boundaries by going to HR, and it seems to be a final warning. Everything pre-HR that you felt was mutual, consensual, and positive has been completely blown away with that move. I don't see it as revenge against you (given that you say that you baited him via text) but as a way to get the message across that your advances are not wanted, and he felt you no longer deserved a legitimate response from the man himself at this point, but rather through superiors. You're right to say that it was cold, because it seems intentional in that way.

In this post, it sounds like you guys truly have mindblowing synastry. The thing is that all beautiful synastry is not meant to blossom in the way that we envision it. Sometimes the smaller, pettier, darker aspects that one doesn't immediately pick up on in the synastry/composite run rampant in the interactions instead. Astrology can be a crap shoot in the way.

posted May 25, 2016 06:58 PM            

That fact that he has rejected you, or not responded, on a number of occasions says he doesn't want to be involved. His decision needs to be respected. It's also possible that he hates confrontation and simply doesn't want to tell you point blank that he's not interested in you romantically at all.

By the way you talk it seems like you are always searching for hidden signs that he likes you. You over analyze his facial expressions and body language trying to find the hidden clue. But it so easy to see what you want to see when you over interpret this type of stuff. People have a tendency to project their feelings onto others. Don't presume that you can guess what he's thinking just because of his chart. Knowing his chart doesn't make you psychic. When he's looking at you maybe he's trying to figure out how to avoid you, or an awkward confrontation with you, rather then longing for you with desire. Whatever the case, his eye contact is not a secret message for you to chase him. Don't assume anything based on eye contact alone, especially when his mouth is saying 'No!'.

Men are usually in the position of having to pursue. Yes, even the shy ones. So if a women comes after them too hard they can often feel like they don't know what to do about it. So they avoid her, ignore her advances, and hope she'll take the hint. That's much less excruciating then saying 'no thanks' to her face. He may not want to make a drama out of it, and have to argue and fuss with you about it. He may deny he's trying to avoid you simply because he wants things to go back to normal at work. Him complaining about you to HR shows he's reached his limit. It the most blatant rejection I can think of.

posted May 25, 2016 07:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
Since then, I finally admitted to him I still liked him...but he made it very clear he did not want contact or for me to bother him about the matter.

He recently got very angry with me...my friend noticed that he looked very upset towards my direction...I ended up texting him a few days later telling him that I was thinking of him and that I hoped he had a good day, and that the guy was just a friend (who is gay). He responded with the coldest text. That I was bothering him and that he wanted me to STOP contacting him concerning the matter or he would go to HR and block me. I replied with if you are really that bothered by me, don't threaten...do it...and then he went to HR.

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I am sorry GrlyGirl, but I seriously do not understand what else this guy has to do to make it clear to you how he feels. You are grasping at straws here and focusing on semantics because you are refusing to accept that he is not interested.

He has told you to stop contacting him. If you truly cared about this person you would respect his wishes instead of trying to force your will on him. I don't mean to be harsh, but based on what you've written here I don't believe you're worthy of being this person's friend right now let alone a romantic interest - you've even gone as far as to jeopardize his career by causing problems. As someone who has been harassed at work, your behavior is definitely out of line and I think you should redirect your thoughts to how this may be affecting your own career and other's perception of you. This could very well bite you in the bud in the future if you aren't careful.

I absolutely agree with what others have said in this thread. I too always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but honestly this sounds like it's getting out of hand. Since this is an Astrology board, I also think you should post your chart so we can take a look and maybe help you understand how to respect other's boundaries and redirect your thinking to something more positive.

posted May 25, 2016 09:17 PM            

I dated a Taurus Sun/ Taurus Moon with Venus AND mars in Cancer. Pluto was opposite his Sun and Moon. I am a Scorpio with mercury, venus, jupiter, pluto in scorpio all opposite my ASC. Pluto is my 7th house ruler and conjuncts my Sun and mars.

posted May 26, 2016 01:11 AM            

Also it is important you understand now, since you have your whole life ahead with relationships that just because you "want" or like someone it doesn't mean they have to like you back, and that there is something wrong with them, that they have issues, or they "are trying to hide their feelings" if they don't. It's as if you have this fantasy that if you like someone, they will automatically like you back, and this will not happen, in many cases, this is not how it works.

The self-fed delusion that it is in the best interest of the stalked person to be with the stalker is the main energy in stalking. It shows high aggressiveness and egoism, not taking a no for an answer, it is a form of (at least personal space) rape.
Don't be a stalker.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...