posted May 27, 2016 03:14 PM            

I met a guy (Venus) 3 years ago. We met in a different country on an international gathering. We were supposed to participate there for a week. We were making connections with people from all around the world doing group activities and workshops. In one of them I've made a contact with this guy. The encounter was very light and breezy, nothing like a promise of further connection. Although I couldn't help but notice my liking for him. He was absolutely not my type physically. But, as I notoriously knew myself of falling for wrong men, I let myself symphathise for him, whatsoever. My liking increased even more when he was showing very clear romantic-interest signs and flirting and staring at me non-stop later after the first meeting.
It felt easy to like him and I was pleased that he was so direct right from the start. Like he would only go for a romantic relationship with me. Like there was no other connection possible.
Just one thing kept me quite cynical about all this - he seemed interested only in sex (although he never said that to me) and had a hot-temper (his nationality trait), so I thought maybe he just found me attractive and there's nothing serious about that.
Then there was the last night of this week abroad. As known about SN-Venus connections, we met unexpectedly and it felt fated. Before the hour or so from the meeting, everyone was going to sleep after a party, others shared goodbye kisses with their vacation-lovers in rooms or outside. I was alone and felt that it would be really nice if I would spend my last night in this country with that guy. I felt so clearly and urgently that I want to kiss him. Then reminded myself of unfortunate circumstances, because I had no idea where this guy would be at the moment. Maybe kissing another girl. Then put myself together and managed to find some other friends looking for company. Then, I quickly apologised for going to the ladies room. I had two choices of toilet rooms (haha, nevermind these details), but chose the one which was furthest from me. I didn't have the reason why, but I didn't think much about it as well. I went to the basement and heard some guys singing in our so-called party room. I went to look who were there and with a pound of my heard I saw HIM looking right into my eyes. I was not supposed to get there and find him - but I did.
We talked all night and kissed long. I never thought it would be so easy. I didn't know this guy at all and such familiarity and touchiness and intimacy would have frightened me, but not with him. It was breezy, very romantic, sweet and I was finding it hard to discover a reason why he was so nice with me and why he liked me so much. He said all the nicest and sweetest words for me, which every girl wants to hear. It was like we were in a relationship right from the start. Loving each other and loosing everything in sight except the person right in front of the face.
Also, I wasn't really experienced in kissing and touching and demonstrating affection, but I felt so comfortable sitting so close to him and touching him. I felt like he knew where I like to be caressed. It is always a pleasure to remember that night.
That was it. Our relationship quickly moved to facebook chats and hour-long phone calls, because we couldn't see each other (country distance). We've been on and off and the first two years or so I was going back to him. Like, we knew that our relationship couldn't reach any further, but I still kept in contact with him, wrote him messages and said things. I couldn't believe this was it. Like, we had such great chemistry and fatedness, why it has to be over?
Then after another period of no-contact (we were naturally making breaks because chatting becomes overbearring) we started all from the start. We even started making meeting plans (like actual ones, not dream-like), but as there really came a chance to see him again, I didn't want it anymore. I felt there was no reason to stretching it out. We had it nice, but now it felt draining, especially when he sensed my withdrawal, he started being more active and demanding in terms of arranging meeting and contacting more than we did.
I didn't feel these negative fatedness effects, except our meeting and that night itself, until now.
We didn't make love that night and I feel I owe him that. Strange feeling. It's as if he loves me so much he can't get enough of me just from connection like we have now. And when we will meet (if we will), I will feel obliged to make love with him. Like in the beginning - there is no other possibility. Just one way. And maybe then it will be over? Or maybe it's not it, but I certainly feel I owe him second meeting. And he is so nice to me...I don't even know why I deserve that.
We talked again today after some months and he joked that he's like a plague reaching for my love. And I feel a little bit of a burden with our relationship. It's like I moved on, I no longer feel we have to meet, but I can't hurt him and say that. It's like we have to chat and phone-talk for some time till we meet again and then it will be clear that it's over.
So, the story is like that.