Lindaland
  Interpersonal Astrology
  Feeling super fated

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Feeling super fated
firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 11:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been seeing this guy off and on the past year. We met at work. But he's basically been with someone else the whole time. It has been extremely intense from the very beginning. His Moon in Gemini conjuncts my Ascendant in Gemini. My Mars and Venus in Leo conjunct his Ascendant in Leo and his Asc is at 22° like my Mars. I also just discovered his Juno conjuncts my NN. His Saturn in Sagittarius is in my empty 7th house ruled by Sagittarius. I feel like he's still with someone else because our connection scares him.




IP: Logged

la_mer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Mar 2012

posted August 21, 2016 12:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for la_mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
saturn/uranus in the composite is a bummer, I've been having a similar on/off-thing I don't want to be rude, but if you would really really want someone, wouldn't you want to make it work? even if you're scared, even if you are in another relationship for comfort only?

I'm sorry if that doesn't fit to your situation at all, just recently I had to learn this the hard way. :/

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 12:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by la_mer:
I don't want to be rude, but if you would really really want someone, wouldn't you want to make it work? even if you're scared, even if you are in another relationship for comfort only?

I'd love to make it work and I've been trying to. He's not leaving his girlfriend right now but I also don't think they are going to last a long while anyway. I've just sort of given up for the time being

IP: Logged

la_mer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Mar 2012

posted August 21, 2016 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for la_mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
we've all been there. and I know how much this can hurt. maybe try this full moon ritual, today is the last day to do this: https://twitter.com/MysticxLipstick/status/723355723359363072 it helped a lot to clear off some negative energy

IP: Logged

athenaia
Knowflake

Posts: 760
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted August 21, 2016 02:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by la_mer:
we've all been there. and I know how much this can hurt. maybe try this full moon ritual, today is the last day to do this: https://twitter.com/MysticxLipstick/status/723355723359363072 it helped a lot to clear off some negative energy

Off-topic from the post but I find MysticxLipstick's full moon windows to be *extremely* off.

For example, she first posted about the ritual the day after the full moon. The full moon was exact at 25° Aquarius, went void at 26° Aquarius, she first posted about the ritual when it was at 29° Aquarius.. as by traditional astrology, any ritual done during a void moon is seen as completely meaningless.

She's saying today is the last day to set full moon intentions, yet the moon is currently at 13° Aries so two moon signs have already passed since the Aquarius full moon.

No offense to her (as I've been following her for a year, curious about her expertise) but everything she says about each sign is so off it's kind of unbelievable the amount of traction she has on Twitter. I don't use these words lightly but she's just uh... not good.

Plus her current crystal videos are a COMPLETE rip-off of The Hood Witch's style.. every reputable astrologer I follow does not follow MysticxLipstick on Twitter, and I think for good reason

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 21, 2016 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm bad at reading charts without degrees, but it looks like lots of intense places of connection in the synastry and (at least in the signs, since I can't read the degrees), it looks like your Moon is "completing" his mutable t-square into a grand cross. The particular ways the connection is intense could play out as sexual attraction, anger and difficult emotions, pain.

If I was reading this blind without your story, I would have said, careful, because there are red flags in his natal and the synastry that he'll have trouble being a faithful partner. But it seems from what you said like you're the one he's cheating with? Unless his other girlfriend knows about you and the two of them have an agreement to see other people---that would be a healthier way for him to work with that t-square--but I suspect he lies and cheats.

I think it's accurate that your connection might scare him, might feel very intense and entangled to both of you--but I think the reason he's still seeing someone else isn't fear of the intense intimacy, it's that natally he has a tough time being honest and faithful with one person.

With your Cancer Sun/Pisces Moon/Scorpio Pluto, the intensity between you probably feels really good--but maybe you would want a more total relationship at some point? I don't think he can give that to anyone.

IP: Logged

la_mer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Mar 2012

posted August 21, 2016 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for la_mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by athenaia:
Off-topic from the post but I find MysticxLipstick's full moon windows to be *extremely* off.

For example, she first posted about the ritual the day after the full moon. The full moon was exact at 25° Aquarius, went void at 26° Aquarius, she first posted about the ritual when it was at 29° Aquarius.. as by traditional astrology, any ritual done during a void moon is seen as completely meaningless.

She's saying today is the last day to set full moon intentions, yet the moon is currently at 13° Aries so two moon signs have already passed since the Aquarius full moon.

No offense to her (as I've been following her for a year, curious about her expertise) but everything she says about each sign is so off it's kind of unbelievable the amount of traction she has on Twitter. I don't use these words lightly but she's just uh... not good.


Edited: I don't know a thing about crystals and am too much of a newbie to judge who's who and what in the astrology scene. I just like the idea that you can change your energy like that, it couldn't hurt to try and write down the feelings. That's all ^^.

Back to the topic: there are a lot of trines in the composite, so I get why it would feel great to be with each other

IP: Logged

athenaia
Knowflake

Posts: 760
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted August 21, 2016 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by la_mer:
I don't know a thing about crystals I just like the idea that you can change your energy around the time of the full moon and I personally think that just like transits don't have to be exact for you to still feel them, it couldn't hurt to try and write down your feelings. That's all ^^.

Back to the topic: there are a lot of trines in the composite, so I get why it would feel great to be with each other


I understand la_mer, I didn't mean to make it seem as if it was a tangent at you and I apologize if I came off that way. I've just been annoyed at the false information she's been promoting in the name of her business lately.

Regarding the synastry, I'm fascinated by the major Juno action going on (NN + Sun) - I wonder how much of that is playing into the fatedness you feel? It is *your* Juno and *your* NN, the intuitive direction of your being, which could be the source of the Siren's call..

Then you have his Lilith (supposedly a Mistress aspect) conjunct your Mercury - maybe this indicates that he's a forbidden fruit that you can't help but be intellectually drawn to? Maybe he has a way of seeing through you that has you perturbed.

Your Moon is opposite his Mars/Sun, so there's absolutely a potent attraction there. The first thing that came to mind was a dominance/submission theme weirdly enough, maybe because the Pisces/Virgo axis is all about worship and serving.

He's going through his Saturn Return (+ t.Saturn opp. n.Moon) so there's a lot on his plate right now. His relationship very well may not last under such circumstances.. but time will only tell there

IP: Logged

la_mer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Mar 2012

posted August 21, 2016 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for la_mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
it's all good I've been wondering about juno; wife or mistress? Or is it both?

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:

If I was reading this blind without your story, I would have said, careful, because there are red flags in his natal and the synastry that he'll have trouble being a faithful partner. But it seems from what you said like you're the one he's cheating with? Unless his other girlfriend knows about you and the two of them have an agreement to see other people---that would be a healthier way for him to work with that t-square--but I suspect he lies and cheats.


This is actually the first time he's ever cheated. And with my Pisces Moon I'm always really good at feeling people out and I know he's being honest. Plus he's been honest with me about everything from the start. I guess you could say it has been like an open relationship from the start since we both met.

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 21, 2016 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by firewater89:
This is actually the first time he's ever cheated. And with my Pisces Moon I'm always really good at feeling people out and I know he's being honest. Plus he's been honest with me about everything from the start. I guess you could say it has been like an open relationship from the start since we both met.

You mean he's being honest with his girlfriend that they're not exclusive, and he has her full blessing and consent?

Otherwise it's a dishonest and very cruel thing to do to a partner--putting them at risk for STDs if sex is involved, and for many people finding out a partner is cheating on you and lying about it is humiliating--so if he's treating his girlfriend in this way, it is NOT honest or kind.

On the other hand, if it's an open relationship--meaning all parties involved are aware of what's going on and in full agreement---then there is nothing deceitful or dishonest in that.

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
You mean he's being honest with his girlfriend that they're not exclusive, and he has her full blessing and consent?

Otherwise it's a dishonest and very cruel thing to do to a partner--putting them at risk for STDs if sex is involved, and for many people finding out a partner is cheating on you and lying about it is humiliating--so if he's treating his girlfriend in this way, it is NOT honest or kind.

On the other hand, if it's an open relationship--meaning all parties involved are aware of what's going on and in full agreement---then there is nothing deceitful or dishonest in that.


No and I've come very, very close to letting his girlfriend know.

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 21, 2016 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What degree is his Saggie Saturn? SR in his 4h, I seriously doubt his relationship with his girlfriend will survive that. For him it sets off all his mutable energy in a really intense way--he's getting hit hard by warring desires for different kinds of change. And your Moon is way in there in terms of love/sex--

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
What degree is his Saggie Saturn? SR in his 4h, I seriously doubt his relationship with his girlfriend will survive that. For him it sets off all his mutable energy in a really intense way--he's getting hit hard by warring desires for different kinds of change. And your Moon is way in there in terms of love/sex--


It looks like it's 15°. What do you mean my Moon is way in there? As in a good thing or bad thing?

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 21, 2016 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by firewater89:
It looks like it's 15°. What do you mean my Moon is way in there? As in a good thing or bad thing?

I mean with his Saturn Return triggering off that T-square in his chart, all these warring desires he has about home/family versus career versus self in the t-square are set off by your moon--your moon in his 7h/8th cusp represents romance outside of/different from the various conflicting obligations he feels.

You made it sound like he's not that serious with his girlfriend--but if I were reading it blind, I would say he wants to have a home/family with her but he also feels big pulls from a lot of directions to blow that up and escape it.

I doubt he will move into a committed relationship with you...it's possible his Saturn Return will involve making a bigger commitment to his girlfriend, but likelier he'll try to end it with both in the next couple of years. But I can't read composites! Curious how that will look to the real astrologers here.

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My biggest fear is that I'm gonna move on from him (which I'm already starting to) and that if him and his girlfriend break up he's gonna wanna try to work it out with me even if I'm already happy with someone else

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 21, 2016 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by firewater89:
My biggest fear is that I'm gonna move on from him (which I'm already starting to) and that if him and his girlfriend break up he's gonna wanna try to work it out with me even if I'm already happy with someone else

He's likely to do a lot of mixed-messages and back-and-forth with you, his girlfriend and others. Advancing when you retreat (I think you're absolutely right that he's likely to come after you if you move on), and retreating when you advance (backing waaaay off or even introducing a new third party when/if you and he are ever both actually fully available.)

You own wonderful Saturn Return is coming up---get rid of him and his Neptune on your Saturn before that time. Take a short break from relationships and do tons of deep, deep psychological self-exploration, let yoursekf transform, master your eighth house!

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 21, 2016 07:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
He's likely to do a lot of mixed-messages and back-and-forth with you, his girlfriend and others. Advancing when you retreat (I think you're absolutely right that he's likely to come after you if you move on), and retreating when you advance (backing waaaay off or even introducing a new third party when/if you and he are ever both actually fully available.)

You own wonderful Saturn Return is coming up---get rid of him and his Neptune on your Saturn before that time. Take a short break from relationships and do tons of deep, deep psychological self-exploration, let yoursekf transform, master your eighth house!


I've been single since December and trying my best to keep it that way at least another half year lol

IP: Logged

Lotis White
Moderator

Posts: 2223
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2010

posted August 22, 2016 05:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lotis White     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Astrology aside... I was listening to a relating pod-cast the other day, and this tell-like-it-is type host was saying that when someone really wants to be with us, they'll practically do what ever it take to make that happen. There's no question about it. In reality, people go after what they want. The whole theory that someone would run from the one they want most because they fear the intensity of that love is a myth.

I'm not sure if this applies to you because I don't know your situation. But if you believe that he is not with you because he's afraid of the strength of your connection, it's almost guaranteed that this is not the real reason.

This topic came up on the pod-cast show because they were talking about breakups, and how sometimes the person doing the dumping would kind of give the person they were breaking up with false hope... By letting them down too gently. Or by sometimes saying things like 'if only this and that were different I'd love to be with you'. Often the person doing the dumping thinks they are being kind by giving false hope, but actually this is very cruel. Because the dumped person with false hope may continue to yearn and wait for the dumper for a long time afterwards under misleading pretenses. The truth is usually that the dumped person is just not exactly what the dumper was looking for was looking for, and will never be.

Now I don't know why the two of you broke-up, or who dumped who. But if he has been with someone else this whole time, you're probably not his top priority. Or he would be with you. And if he doesn't have a problem cheating on his girlfriend, he probably doesn't have a problem lying to women, trying to convince you that your are his top priority... All the while he live with someone else, and sleeps next to her every night.

I think when we have strong feelings for somebody it's tempting to believe what we wish to be true. And any hint of encouragement can be seen as a sign that what we hope for is true, even when everything else points in the opposite direction.

I've always had a dislike for relationships that start through unfaithfulness. That foundation of trust is tainted from the start. Lets just say you do end up with him somehow, how strong do you feel the trust would be in your relationship?

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 22, 2016 10:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lotis White:
Astrology aside... I was listening to a relating pod-cast the other day, and this tell-like-it-is type host was saying that when someone really wants to be with us, they'll practically do what ever it take to make that happen. There's no question about it. In reality, people go after what they want.

This is the He's Just Not That Into You thesis, and I think it's misleading because it implies that every man will straightforwardly go for what he wants when he really wants it, and if he really loves someone, he'll suddenly be a faithful, healthy, devoted partner who treats her great.


Actually, there are all sorts of troubled and/or immature people who aren't good partners, who do NOT go for what they want, who are liars or cheaters, who haven't worked on themselves and are projecting family of origin issues all over their random (and multiple) relationships.

It's confusing also because for many women, our dating/relationship history started with the teen years and early twenties, when boys often run from commitment because they're scared of the intensity---that's healthy at that developmental stage, but at thirty it's just dysfunctional.

So lots of times I think it's not about "He's just not that into you"---it's about him not being a healthy or mature partner.

IP: Logged

EmGem
Knowflake

Posts: 1371
From:
Registered: Jan 2015

posted August 22, 2016 10:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If only things were so black and white. I believe you can certainly have a deeply profound love for someone else but just not be mature enough or ready for a relationship like that. Unfortunately early attachment issues and unwillingness to work on yourself hinder even the deepest soul connections. Generally though, if there is a love that exists between two people and it is real true love, nothing will get in the way of this manifesting - BUT it might take 1, 3 or even 10 years for this realisation to occur for a guy and also I think he needs to have gone through his Saturn return to learn some hard lessons, to man up and grow some balls. It's just up to you whether you are willing to wait or open yourself up to other opportunities.
He may very well be staying in an unhappy relationship meanwhile simply for convenience and needing a 'mother' figure to take care of him. Until he learns to stand on his own two feet, resolve his mummy issues, decide what he really wants and to open his heart to vulnerability and truth...he will remain a boy.

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 22, 2016 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by EmGem:
If only things were so black and white. I believe you can certainly have a deeply profound love for someone else but just not be mature enough or ready for a relationship like that. Unfortunately early attachment issues and unwillingness to work on yourself hinder even the deepest soul connections. Generally though, if there is a love that exists between two people and it is real true love, nothing will get in the way of this manifesting - BUT it might take 1, 3 or even 10 years for this realisation to occur for a guy and also I think he needs to have gone through his Saturn return to learn some hard lessons, to man up and grow some balls. It's just up to you whether you are willing to wait or open yourself up to other opportunities.
He may very well be staying in an unhappy relationship meanwhile simply for convenience and needing a 'mother' figure to take care of him. Until he learns to stand on his own two feet, resolve his mummy issues, decide what he really wants and to open his heart to vulnerability and truth...he will remain a boy.

Yeah, I think this guy is at war between his "mummy issues" and the kind of partner he wants to have a home with (represented by that 4h Saturn), romanticized commitment-free sex on the side (empty 7/8 cusp, with your Moon filling in the blank), his biggest life goals (10h moon), and his sense of self/sense of practical security and what is "his" (1h/2h Mars/Sun), which he gets anxious about (Virgo), and his Saturn return will is really setting that off.

He'll have these warring needs making him anxious long after his Saturn Return is over, but right now the sense of conflict on that 4th house (home, family, mummy issues) point is especially intense. I agree with a lot of what EmGem says, except I don't think that if you wait for him he will someday be in a happy, committed relationship with you.....I think if he gets into a happy, committed relationship in the future when he's more mature, it will be with someone with more fixed or cardinal fire placements to soothe his 4th house pain.

I don't think it's about him being scared of the intensity of the connection with you in the sense that if he were more mature, he would want and choose that for his #1 committed relationship---I think you/your moon REPRESENT for him sexual and romantic urges that aren't compatible with his life goals, family pressures, type of home he wants to build and type of partner he wants a home with.

It ISN'T black and white, and he may well be feeling quite a bit of pain and discomfort about cheating. Even if you don't love someone (and I suspect he does love his girlfriend, but in a burdensome mommy-issues way), cheating on them is lousy!

And YOU---I want you be with someone whose Neptune isn't that much on your Saturn, and where you don't have Sun-Nessus, and where you don't have Jupiter-Chiron---there's too much pain and projection stuff here!!!! The attraction is probably huge, but I feel like if things end this way and at this point it will be a good thing. When that attraction burns off or as it waxes and wanes, it could bring unhappiness. I fear because of your Leo and Cancer placements (I also have placements in these two signs) that you'll feel so flattered and gratified if he ends things with his girlfriend and pursues you that you'll get tangled with him for longer, when I think a steadier guy would make you happier over the long haul.

IP: Logged

firewater89
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: Illinois
Registered: Jul 2016

posted August 26, 2016 05:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for firewater89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:

And YOU---I want you be with someone whose Neptune isn't that much on your Saturn, and where you don't have Sun-Nessus, and where you don't have Jupiter-Chiron---there's too much pain and projection stuff here!!!! The attraction is probably huge, but I feel like if things end this way and at this point it will be a good thing. When that attraction burns off or as it waxes and wanes, it could bring unhappiness. I fear because of your Leo and Cancer placements (I also have placements in these two signs) that you'll feel so flattered and gratified if he ends things with his girlfriend and pursues you that you'll get tangled with him for longer, when I think a steadier guy would make you happier over the long haul.


It is my goal to just try and forget about my feelings for him completely but right now it just seems impossible. I'm definitely tired of coming 2nd to him.

IP: Logged

Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 470
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 26, 2016 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by firewater89:
It is my goal to just try and forget about my feelings for him completely but right now it just seems impossible. I'm definitely tired of coming 2nd to him.

I think even if you are/were/become #1 for him, it would not be a good and happy relationship where you felt properly fulfilled--not because of the synastry, but because of HIS natal--he won't be ready in the next decade to be a stable, honest, trustworthy partner to his #1 or anyone else. And it would not feel good to be that person to him in the long run. He has a lot of challenges to work out in his coming relationship(s).

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2016

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a