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Author Topic:   Why I chose to leave my 'twin flame journey' on LL
Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 27, 2016 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow. It's tough to be searching for something simple, like, delineations of particular soulmate pairings, and find yourself bashed and misrepresented on a forum you've never heard of, by someone who once viewed your complicated journey here -- a place you trusted.

Hey, we can't police the Internet -- and, frankly, I'm against it. But we can cut ourselves some slack, stay respectful, and not allow personal judgement to impede our true understanding of a person.

I've gotten REALLY slammed for being wrong about the identity of my twin flame, certain theories I formulated, and participating in twin flame astrology research. That gets me, because 75% of the twin flame community first experienced the 'twin flame journey' via a catalyst or 'false twin flame' -- pick your poison.

Instead, I've had my lifestyle attacked, accused of being immoral, engaged in illegal activities, and, in general, being a psychopath who knows nothing about the journey in which I've now been actively engaged since 2012.

So, do me a favour; twist the knife a tiny bit to the left. There's still part of my heart that hasn't been annihilated yet, and I'm sure you want the job done right. Facetiousness aside, it is a legitimate question, how much we may unintentionally mislead those new to the journey by the twists, turns, and even detours in our own.

I've been an active member, and more recently teacher and guide, in the global online twin flame community -- for the past year. A lot has happened during that time. I can only hope that my journey can be of some benefit to those who stumble into it.

I also realise that slander, abuse, and misperception are part of my own spiritual journey, and I must be tough enough to endure the slings and arrows; strong enough to protect my loved ones from the onslaught.

I can't respond to defend myself in these various places, but I can set the record straight here -- at the origin point. Fittingly full circle.

1) I'm polyamorous.

Depending upon your view, that might be called a sin. You may think me immoral to be capable of loving more than a single person. That's your deal, frankly, not mine. I'm here to love honestly, openly, freely, and with respect to others.

2) I'm married, with one boyfriend, with whom I have a committed lifetime relationship.

Being on the twin flame journey, yes, my 'extramarital' committed partner is the man I've come to know as my twin flame. I don't walk around with that idea unexpressed, either; we're actively a bit 'meh' on exactly what twin flames mean, but certain that each other represent his concept, and have interacted with the twin flame community in this respect. We're on the Jnana Path of Yoga together, which means we're truthseekers that actively question everything -- including our own journey. But we do it with love, and remain on our mission, as it unfolds, staying abreast of our own awakening, and aiding those around us. It's, actually, amazing, and I'm blessed for the opportunity to be here, in all of this, right now. It's my Path, and my place. I'm so grateful.

3) I'm a sex therapist. I've never been involved in the sex industry. I don't engage, nor recruit anyone, in illegal activity.

I help people get the lives they want, in a variety of ways, through talk therapy and my own brand of tough-love counselling called 'catharsis coaching'. It's like Tyler Durden in stiletto heels. I don't apologise for being a bit of a badass, and I'm proud of the people I've helped, who still come to me, after 9 years, telling me that they couldn't have gotten to the success they've achieved without me. That is what I do it for. That's why I still do. The field of sex therapy holds a lot of question-marks for most, and a lot of assumptions are made. I don't do sexual surrogacy. I don't do phone sex. I'm not a professional dominatrix. I'm a sex therapist for the alternative lifestyles community; I help out with gender-identity issues, sexual-orientation conflicts, and trauma healing. I'm a survivor myself. I like to pay it forward.

4) I'm asexual.

So, I've gotta laugh at accusations that I can't hold it together unless I'm gettin' some strange and doing the walk of shame as if it were an Olympic sport. I'm doing really well to be capable of having a sexual relationship at all after healing major trauma, and working through lots of dysfunction. I'm not what I'd call 'sexually-oriented' as opposed to 'asexually-oriented', but I am trying to be more balanced, and less abstinent. It takes work.

5) I'm a recovering schizoid. I'm not a psychopath.

I'm not sure how this one got started. I was exploring being a 'social justice warrior' of sorts for psychopathic spectrum folks -- likely to better understand my 'false twin flame' -- who's a sociopath. I've only ever been diagnosed schizoid, and that was around age 20. Schizoids, with the low empathy issue, can relate to that aspect of psychopathy, and I think we may fall on the psychopathic spectrum in some ways. But 'psychopath' is too charged of a word to be tossing out there and attaching to whatever someone thinks sticks. Just don't do that.

6) My 'false twin flame' is a sociopath. He rejected a sexual relationship because of an emotional involvement between us that scared him.

He didn't 'just want nothing to do with me because I'm a terrible person'. We've tried to maintain a friendship, and it's an up-and-down sort of thing -- a learning process. He's apologised for his inability to 'be' what would have allowed us a different relationship -- to my husband, too. I've learnt plenty myself -- including how my desire for a sexual relationship with him stemmed from a deep-seated insecurity over losing him. I loved him, on a real level, as we had been best friends -- as much as he could manage -- for almost a decade. It got me to confront things within myself -- things which he deliberately chose not to -- and told me so. I chose to do the best I could, to stay friends with him, support him in his endeavours, but disentangle my heart, and give our lives a bit more distance from one another. That was a smart move. I remain tight with his mom, though -- which is kind of hysterical.

... I think that covers it. I'll add to this, as needed. Feel free to ask questions, as they arise. And, thanks for listening.

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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted August 27, 2016 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aubyanne,

I don't know who attacked you where and why but you really don't need to explain yourself to anyone here in self-deference. That doesn't seem right. You shouldn't feel misunderstood and judged harshly. Even if you explain yourself, there will always be someone who won't understand you. Just ignore them and don't take things written too close to heart.

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comdoc
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posted August 27, 2016 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comdoc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Auby, honor and respect to you and all your lovers. I'm grateful for our interactions, and have learned a lot through them. Polyamory may not be the easiest lifestyle to follow and practice--but IME it can be extremely rewarding. You're a leading edge creator: keep your eyes on the prize!

Love and brilliant blessings from your friend.

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Aubyanne
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Posts: 6593
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 27, 2016 08:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CapriciousCapricorn:
Aubyanne,

I don't know who attacked you where and why but you really don't need to explain yourself to anyone here in self-deference. That doesn't seem right. You shouldn't feel misunderstood and judged harshly. Even if you explain yourself, there will always be someone who won't understand you. Just ignore them and don't take things written too close to heart.


Cap. I needed that.

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page one
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From: USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted August 27, 2016 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for page one     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh dear, I see someone has discovered lsa. Maybe you could take your whine over there instead?

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Aubyanne
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Posts: 6593
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 27, 2016 10:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by page one:
Oh dear, I see someone has discovered lsa. Maybe you could take your whine over there instead?

What a shock, page one. Positively flabbergasted.

The author of that thread might want to check their facts before running their mouth. Of course, their ire was rather transparent. So, there is that.

Perhaps if the account gets activated at some point, I will. It's unfortunate that someone can't even defend themselves when being slandered. Though, not legally of course. Awfully nice that they didn't name me. That was smart on their behalf.

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 27, 2016 11:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Out of curiosity, do you believe in twin flames, page one?

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Astro keen
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posted August 28, 2016 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astro keen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Auby, we've missed you.

Agree with CC. You shouldn't need to explain yourself here. Shame that you encountered a few nasties.

I just spotted one myself.

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Gabby
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posted August 28, 2016 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Im very sorry that someone has done this to you, ive been slandered before on the net by some unknown person, that knew nothing about me also. Its funny how much it hurts, youd think since it obvious they dont know you n have it so wrong youd get some comfort from that, but it still hurts!! ❤️ Keep your head up!

By the way...i had a false TF to, i think most of us do!

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alegna
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From: uk
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posted August 29, 2016 07:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for alegna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Aubyanne, It is so nice to see you back here. I and am sure many others, enjoy your posts.
Please don't allow negative comments to upset you. Most people who speak on a forum ,or other public medium suffer the same ,often.

You know what they say-you can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all the people all the time.

I for one, found your research interesting and so what if you don't always get it right. Who does? and at least you tried. No one discovers anything without piles of research and effort.

You really should not have to justify your lifestyle to anyone and folk should not be so judgemental, however, it is a little controversial and because of that ,is bound to make some people question your motives regarding your reltionship situation ,because most people ,if happily married or in a happy relationship tend not to desire anyone else.

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted August 29, 2016 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Geeze ofcourse you are not a psychopath!, I think most people here are very supportive of you actually so just because one person is talking bad about you this can't make you hide and withdraw.

I had a member seriously verbally abuse me in this forum like I have never experienced in my life attacking me over and over again in one thread and ofcourse she was banned, I did nothing to truly deserve this, I had just spent many hours doing a natal chart reading for her with a lot of love and been super supportive of her but towards the end I stopped checking that thread bec I had given her plenty of my time already and she went crazy bec apparently she had requested I deleted all our interaction which was about 4 pages worth after the fact not before the reading which I don't have time for that....

Anyways a lot of people here defended me and supported me and it was very ugly and nasty the things she said, I withdrew a little for while from here but I did not let that keep me away from this forum; that is one person who is in a lot pain and wanted to hurt me bc that is what people in pain with poor coping skills do HURT others. I don't want anything to do with her though.

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted August 29, 2016 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You have sun conjunct pluto and BML, you are going to feel rejected and like a lot of people don't like you or get you, that is part of your path but you have to learn that the relationship with yourself and loving yourself is way more important than everyone liking you or getting you. With BML on your Sun a lot of people will not get you and you will feel like an outcast or alien yet here in Lindaland you get a lot of support.

In my rectified chart I have Scorpio rising with BML and chiron parallel my AS with chiron in the 7th and BML and H13 square my AC so I can relate to that feeling of not fitting in or been understood bc I generate this energy that some people feel uncomfortable with so automatically people make assumptions about me without getting to know me, projecting their hang ups and insecurities on to me but on a therapeutic setting this works great for me and I can use it to help my clients heal and to connect with them and strengthen our therapeutic bond.

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hypatia238
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posted August 29, 2016 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also I would say your false twin flame is emotionally stunted or guarded and that he has difficulty accessing his emotional side perhaps he is a bit dissociated from that side of himself having difficulty accessing it or been in touch with it or understanding it but sociopath is a strong word. Or he is afraid of commitment so avoids sexual intimacy to protect himself and retain his independence. You know him though but based on what you have said about him that is what it seems like to me that his emotional maturation was halted and did not develop in a healthy way, I would theorize there are attachment issues stemming from childhood and not everyone wants to work through their stuff..

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted September 01, 2016 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just a quick note, H:

I agree with you. He's the one that's self-identified as socio. He was also evaluated and thought to be schizophrenic, which is why we both thought schizoid. At MOST, maybe schizotypal. Maybe.

But it would account for falling in a low-empathy spectrum -- be it schizo or psycho is ... almost splitting hairs.

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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted September 01, 2016 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aubyanne,

I have a burning question and you're THE person to ask, I'm sure you know a lot about this. I have a friend who says her relative is a psychopath. What to look for in the natal chart?

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hypatia238
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posted September 01, 2016 11:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Just a quick note, H:

I agree with you. He's the one that's self-identified as socio. He was also evaluated and thought to be schizophrenic, which is why we both thought schizoid. At MOST, maybe schizotypal. Maybe.

But it would account for falling in a low-empathy spectrum -- be it schizo or psycho is ... almost splitting hairs.


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nordicsoul
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posted September 03, 2016 05:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aubyanne,

I read many of your posts as I find then eye opening. I do not expect anybody, no matter the experience, to be infallible. Of course you are worried about your own perception may have mislead other, but hey, as long as we are honest... any person has a perception of the facts the experience, collect, analyze. and I have noted that you approach to your theories as such "theories"... if that mislead someone, then what can you do? as long as you are genuine and do not do on purpose, we all "mislead" others with our beliefs as nobody can guarantee that what they believe or experience is the reality, whatever that means.

I have no clue who has attacked you. I am active, but not superactive in this forum. it hurts that you open your heart and communicate private things and others use that against you. however, your journey may shed light on others. I appreciate the courage you have in sharing many of your intimate life because that allows many of us to learn from your experience. if you think that sharing too much is damaging because the vulnerability that brings to you, you may consider shutting down. nevertheless if you think that despite the exposure and risk, you still want to bring to those who appreciate your wisdom pieces of personal information, then, someone criticism should not deter you from your mission..

hope you think more in those who want you here than those who will hurt anybody who threaten their belief system. it is not personal... I do not think you need any single person to understand you. who does anyway? and we will always be criticize for being ourselves. are you going to let a minority to win? then everybody lose.

best
NS

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted September 03, 2016 12:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People slander me all the time and I am still here

------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted September 03, 2016 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
People slander me all the time and I am still here


Aw, Ami. Too true.

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Aubyanne
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Posts: 6593
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted September 03, 2016 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
Auby, we've missed you.

Agree with CC. You shouldn't need to explain yourself here. Shame that you encountered a few nasties.

I just spotted one myself.


I missed you guys, too! But I think I'm BACK-back now. REALLY back. I've got the right balance of things going in my life, and it makes all the difference.

And, I noticed that, too ... Hey, better the devil we know ... no?

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted September 09, 2016 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I missed you guys, too! But I think I'm BACK-back now. REALLY back. I've got the right balance of things going in my life, and it makes all the difference.

And, I noticed that, too ... Hey, better the devil we know ... no?


I will love to have you back! You are missed.

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted September 09, 2016 06:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
People slander me all the time and I am still here


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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted September 09, 2016 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CapriciousCapricorn:
Aubyanne,

I have a burning question and you're THE person to ask, I'm sure you know a lot about this. I have a friend who says her relative is a psychopath. What to look for in the natal chart?


I meant one thing but typed another. Just noticed. Sociopath, Not psychopath.

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted September 09, 2016 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for everything you said, nordicsoul. It means a lot. And you're right, H. And I've missed you guys way too much to even let a fleeting thing like someone's slander cross my mind, no less hurt.

You guys are wonderful.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 10, 2016 07:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Thank you for everything you said, nordicsoul. It means [b]a lot. And you're right, H. And I've missed you guys way too much to even let a fleeting thing like someone's slander cross my mind, no less hurt.

You guys are wonderful.[/B]



Good. Don't let the turkeys get to you. I don't!

------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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