posted September 20, 2016 11:40 PM            

Where do I begin? Okay. Performing with him felt like getting caught in a hurricane and suddenly recalling you're a thunderstorm. It's required processing it was so intense. Thing is, he's an actor -- of course. And he's busy with multiple projects -- which is good. And he's no stranger to playing dark characters. But this was definitely one that I saw he was sinking his teeth into, and intuiting a lot of it on the fly. We kicked over our marks, wandered out of frame several times, and when it was all over -- 2 hours later -- I knew two things: I definitely had my costar. And I honestly didn't know much of anything else; I've been winging it since.

I'm also mildly obsessed. We were so energised afterward, and he sent me an email saying how he'd enjoyed it and was looking forward to really delving and getting to work. Really, really great to see after the email I'd received the last time I cast this role -- only a month ago. (You guys remember.)

All's well so far, except ... well, as to be expected, he's busy, my schedule likely won't permit anything until early next month, and I'm having to consciously shift gears out for a little bit, just being super glad that I've got the right actor, and be patient, and let it all unfold. He'll let me know what he needs, after all. Of course, I'm cool with that.

But here's my deal.

Auditions are always awkward things; maybe you've spoken once before, to schedule the read, and for about 5 minutes. You've been aware of each other's existence for maybe a week prior to the audition itself. So, you're virtually strangers, and it's tough to find a groove, or hit a stride.

We'd broken all the rules that govern any kind of typical conduct in this context.

I'm friends with an up-and-coming young horror director, so when he made his then new film available for 24 hours, I made myself watch it -- heh -- even though it didn't appeal. (What we do for friends, right?) Soon as he hit the screen, it was ... startling. The cast is really young, and he's a bit older than I am, so it was unexpected. Then he just seemed perfect -- whatever this role was he was playing, seemed perfect. I noticed a definite pattern to his roles; he just seemed perfect. Weird.

Though I was over a year away from the script being done, I contacted him. We became Facebook friends. He was definitely interested, so we stayed in the background until about 2 months ago, at which point I was glad to finally get the script to him.

And, of course, I was momentarily derailed (and moderately starstruck -- hey, if you can get someone with a lot of guest starring TV credits, it's not bad for an indie show!) and we all saw how that turned out. And, after lots of delays, we finally got to do his audition, on Sunday.

And, as I'd mentioned before, we broke all the rules.

It's complex, when you're the showrunner, casting director, and playing a role. I decided it was time I remember that I'm also an actress, so I was vibing that energy, which he clearly read. As I'd mentioned before -- we kicked over our marks. Wandered out of frame multiple times. I've never had an actor be that physical with me during a read. And you're NOT supposed to; I think we oddly had enough of an intuitive understanding of one another that it just ... kind of ... happened ... that way? And my character was supposed to be supremely annoyed, and constantly wanting him out of her personal space, so the energy never de-escalated.

It felt more like a scene intensive than an audition, and neither of us really seemed to care if we were crossing some boundary here, or what-have-you. It's like we both just really wanted to be in that world for as long as we could, and with each other there.

Weird, right?

And, of course, I'm now sitting here looking at myself like a foreign entity that's lost her mind. The difference is, he's NOT given me ANY indication that it wasn't that way for him, and seems to be doing everything in his power to fit me into what's already a booked schedule.

And, what do WE do but turn to what WE know best. Our astrology. Especially since I've got everything. (Don't ask why he gave me his birth data. I asked, and he responded with everything, and I'm just glad for that!)

Okay, so ... here we go! With me on the inside, we're using the project-relevant stuff:

And, with him on the inside, we're looking at the -- ahem -- not so relevant stuff.

One thing's for damned sure; I must've REALLY missed someone's MOON on mine, because it felt like 'coming home' to a very familiar energy that was just as eager to 'play' again as I was.

But, again, I could be completely full of shiz, and reading into everything. I kinda love and hate it when someone reminds me I'm a lunar Scorp. BECAUSE I CAN GET LIKE THIS.

posted September 21, 2016 12:45 PM            

Hya,
sounds very intense. your experience. I am curious how this will develop.
Unlike the other (who did not give me a good feeling), this sparked my curiosity.

You know sometimes you read something and then a bell goes off: SIGNIFICANT. Make a mental note.

That was the feeling I got abuot this one.

posted September 21, 2016 12:52 PM            

Moon-Moon in SCorpio - deep **** .
emotional, under the skin, with Mars? Sparks, tempestuous, passion, but since in Scorpio, deep, deep, deep. much more going on under the surface than it seems on the surface.

Probably you`ll be the one to find ways to verbalize it, wit your 3rd house there.

His Uranus on your Sun-Pluto-Lilith - he definitely shakes you up. But hey, you need that your Moon-Uranus thrives on that stuff, with Sun-Pluto-Lilith in combo, there is the 50 shades of dark (hopefully written in a much better style!), taboo, going where the dusty corners are, right into the subconsciousness, those corners where there is not so much pink fairy dust being sprinkled but you know the other, the dark-golden glamour, weaving its magic around the two of you.

Sorry, I just came back from encountering my Mr Dracula. LOL

Damn it, I did not expect it to leave THAT much of an impression. Maybe I should shut up there is only weird stuff coming out of my mouth.

posted September 21, 2016 01:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
You know sometimes you read something and then a bell goes off: SIGNIFICANT. Make a mental note.

That was the feeling I got abuot this one.

Karmic? Soulmate? What do you think?
Maybe more Dharma than Karma?

---

And I really trust your gut instinct, Ceri. It seems to ALWAYS be right for me, even when I can't see the reality myself! I'm learning, though, I think. Slowly.

'Significant' is definitely what I felt, too. That sense of, 'before and after'. It must be all the Uranian energy, and the NNODE conjunct ASC 0º in our composite. Dharmic, yes.

So, very dharmic ... So very ... everything.

posted September 21, 2016 03:20 PM            

your sun in his 10th house...this a classic aspect for teacher-student, or when the sun person helps the other become famous

suns square and ACs square....hmmm very interesting...lots of possible attraction at the first sight...a strong need to get to know each other better...

your sun opposite his chiron...OUCH for the both of you!..you sure both have a way of reminding each other of your insecurities...

his mars in your 8th...you sure will remember you for a looooong time and he will more likely help you financially in some way...

posted September 21, 2016 08:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Damn it, I did not expect it to leave THAT much of an impression. Maybe I should shut up there is only weird stuff coming out of my mouth.

---

You and me both, sister!

Seriously, though! Keep talking. I'm wondering WTF is going on with me, too. Why everything just feels like SO much no BS, no-frills truth, and raw, gritty everything.

I have NO idea what this man does to me, or if it's the slightest bit mutual, but I'm starting to like it anyway. I'm even getting 'that feeling' on a purely energetic / intuitive level that shiz is about to get REALLY real.

But, God, the obsessiveness! I just keep telling myself, 'you pegged his Moon from the start, so stop worrying if only YOU have been hit by this crap. YES. LET IT GO.' Because Scorpio.

Because he could be eveything -- I mean, EVERYTHING -- my 'false twin' couldn't be, and I think I'm 'old enough' now to not try and put that into a box, or demand to know 'what' we are, and to instead roll with eveything as it unfolds.

I'm the Narrator, and had no idea I was in search of a Tyler Durden, and fully aware it's 'all me' -- hence, soul connexion.

I'm just ... changing. I HAVE been, but this cements it. Two hours somehow just checked boxes and unlocked doors and sent my spirit careening and caution to the wind.

We'll never be a 'couple'. We don't want or need to be. But, damn, if we aren't going to be something, which changes us both completely, to the very core of our being.

And, well, Scorpio. So. There's that.

You can't DO 'Scorpio' except in bursts -- and sure as hell not Uranian Scorpio. That's some kind of wild brilliance that zaps you, capsizes your world, laughs at the emergent chaos, and thrives on the darker truths of that reality.

If ONLY he hadn't grabbed me. If ONLY he hadn't stood behind me, his voice right at my ear. If ONLY he hadn't done this multiple times -- I'd be skating that surface. We'd be all 'hi, solar square!' and 'what's up, MERC square?' and 'how's tricks, VENUS-NNODE?'

But, no. No. He did. And so it's instead: HELLO, PAIR OF LUNAR SCORPIOS, WITH AN EFF TONNE OF URANIAN ENERGY BETWEEN YOU.

No wonder we were talking about how one of our characters was very likely to get stabbed. And decide it's worth it. (His, actually.)

I honestly find myself wondering HOW much, and just WHAT he's going to file under 'I'll risk it'.

Creatively, this is wonderful and brilliant.

Personally ... those lines can thin very, very quickly.

I just know what I felt. And beyond that, nothin'.

Save for the obvious question; why, WHEN I cut his leash like that, merely being honest regarding how my character was likely to respond to certain actions he was taking, why did he escalate like THAT? Is he just that physical? Did the character just bring that forth from him?

How did he know I WOULDN'T freak the eff out? How did he take these calculated risks, KNOWING that I was willing to go just as out there with him? Had he pulled any of this in a traditional room, it would've been cause for calling Security, after politely reminding the actor that boundaries are a thing, and must be respected.

But when I acknowledged that she REALLY hated his invasion of her personal space like that, his eyes lit up, and he admitted that that's exactly what he's going to be constantly testing as a result. It slid under the radar because we were working, and we'd both agree that at the end of the read, we wanted to do it again, more familiar with the script so we could just roll with the rest. We'd even get to where we'd straight improv, and his physicality only escalated.

I forgot I was auditioning him. It felt like a scene intensive. We just wanted to keep working, but auditions don't work like that. And we'd run over to where he had to still drive to his 'day job' (which is late night at a famous comedy club) and couldn't really do much more until I'd processed where things were actually going.

It'd changed ... EVERYTHING. To exactly where it needed to be.

posted September 21, 2016 08:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
his saturn in your 10th, he's sure bound to help your career quite a lot!

your sun in his 10th house...this a classic aspect for teacher-student, or when the sun person helps the other become famous

suns square and ACs square....hmmm very interesting...lots of possible attraction at the first sight...a strong need to get to know each other better...

your sun opposite his chiron...OUCH for the both of you!..you sure both have a way of reminding each other of your insecurities...

his mars in your 8th...you sure will remember you for a looooong time and he will more likely help you financially in some way...

to be honset, I don't see romance or anything which shows sexual attraction...seems like a very business oriented relationship to me, with a great amount of mutual understanding though (moons conjunct) which is great for friendship, especially with his sun in your 11th. But again, you natally have moon conjunct mars, and anybody who touches your emotions, will be attractive to you too.

---

Fame is good! Heh. And, he's a bit older than I am, mostly from the Chekov school, where I'm admittedly Stanislavski and English. I definitely learnt a thing or two, and am definitely further honing my craft.

Yeah, I don't feel anything romantic, either. At all. I feel something deep and primal, and have NO clue what forms that energy is likely to take.

The CHIRON intrigues me, too. Our work together is going to explore a lot of wounds, and be ultimately healing. There are major aspects of the character he already groks, feels, and deeply relates to -- which I knew.

When I find the right actor for a role, it invariably leads to a great deal of personal discovery, usually on a karmic level as well as sorting things out in ego. And THIS role ... it's a career-maker, IF one can handle the intensity.