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Author Topic:   He is married. What does make him fall for me? (synastry)
hearttreasure
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posted November 22, 2016 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The first time we met was when I took extra class and he was my lecturer at the time, 9 years ago.

I didn't really pay attention to him at all (I was such a nerd in the college lol) but one time one of my friends joked in the class, "why are you looking at her all the time?" and the whole class was like.. in chaos.. Everybody knew (the students, the lecturers and the administration staff) he always put his eyes on me BUT me. I didn't even notice it.

Then we developed friendship. I was so focused on my college at the time so thinking about love was never crossed on my mind.

After only took two of his class session, I decided to focus on other things. We only met if we crossed the path at the corridor or he saw me from somewhere and called me. I graduated from college, started a new job, and I didn't know how, we started to meet up for lunch/dinner or just casually took a coffee somewhere.

I didn't know that he was married before. He never mentioned anything about his marriage/personal life and I didn't think to ask him because I thought we were a good friend.

Last week was his birthday and he wanted to celebrate it with me. On our way to parking lot, he held my hands (which of course I tried to let go of my hand but he refused) and when I was ready to go home, he tried to kiss me on the lips but I gave him my forehead.

I don't dislike him, we're always having a good conversation, good laugh and good accompany (overall we always had a great time together - as a friend in my eyes), but the fact that he is married scares me for this friendship. In some occasions he always tried to get even closer (touching, etc) and said he always liked me.

What does make him fall for me based on the synastry and the composite?

Synastry: Me (red, correct birth time) & Him (blue, unknown birth time)

Composite:

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athenaia
Knowflake

Posts: 875
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted November 22, 2016 07:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey doll, is it possible you could make these images a little bigger? Using a site like imgur helps preserve the size of the images when you save them from astro.com

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hearttreasure
Knowflake

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posted November 22, 2016 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^ LOL. I found the site and it's bigger now..

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athenaia
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From: USA
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posted November 22, 2016 08:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sweet! Good job


Mercury/Pluto conjunction.. that's beautiful to see in this kind of dynamic. It proves how in sync you both are intellectually. You understand the patterns of his mind, and always know how to deliver on assignments/essays where other people find it difficult and mysterious.

Two Moons in Aries! Aries moons tend to gravitate to one another. He must come off very young and almost not like a professor at all. Saturn opposite Sun tells me the dynamic isn't typical and even though he's younger, he's more "mature" and in the position of power. Very interesting. You're like flipping the student/professor stereotypes on its head

Junos in opposite signs.. curious.

His Moon/Chiron deeply admires your Moon/Jupiter. You're strong, intelligent, fierce, and independent. He gives off a gentle vulnerability deep down inside and wants to shine in your light.

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Orange
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posted November 22, 2016 10:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Orange     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
athenae,

she is the red

and the sun in the sun-saturn opposition

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athenaia
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From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted November 22, 2016 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
athenae,

she is the red

and the sun in the sun-saturn opposition


Yikes, this is why I should get glasses

Thanks babe! Lemme go edit that post..

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yungang_grotto
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Posts: 3872
From: love lives forever
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posted November 23, 2016 04:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The Venus Neptune double whammy with your Mars on his Neptune is a pretty big factor. It would facilitate active fantasizing on his part to an extreme degree, as well as dishonesty/evasiveness...

We have the Venus Neptune aspect repeated as a tight conjunction in the composite chart, and Mars on the ascendant indicating his predominant interest and also his forthright behaviour and interest in physical action/sex (if we take the male/female planetary archetypes to indicate the people playing those gender roles in the relationship). His interest in you being of a sexual nature the whole time is very likely.

The familiarity and comfort you have with one another isdefinitely testified to by the Moon Moon conjunction. The thing with this particular conjunction in Aries is the tendency to butt heads if you ever do disagree about anything--he is unconsciously attracted to your own self involvement (focusing on college, looking out for your own interests, etc), he resonates strongly with that and likes that quality as he shares it, for him it is integrated with his pain body and so he is naturally attracted to your unique line on wisdom and philosophical well being and self confidence, which on some level he may suffer for/because of. He requires the expansive Jupiter for understanding the gravity of his own emotional wound, quite likely. You make it somehow very clear to him and he identifies with you as somebody similar who exemplifies a healthy aspect of his own psyche.

The emphasis on the 4th house in the composite is also indicative of a natural friendship. I would be wary of his advances though, personally. Anybody who presses on even when you have indicated you aren't interested does not have your best interests at heart. You have Venus square Mars as well, of course, so there could be an element of the chase which you enjoy. I don't have enough information from you regarding your feelings to give any further insight. I'm sorry I haven't stuck to strictly answering your question (why is he attracted to you), but the likelihood is that it is based mostly on his personal fantasies. The synastry does have affair written all over it. Wishing you well. The potential exists for transcendental moments of love and a sense of well being and harmony, but also tension and selfishness, and predation, and indulgent/active dishonesty (Neptune-Mars, Venus-Neptune) so be careful and stay true to yourself.

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hearttreasure
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posted November 23, 2016 08:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@athenaia:

Mercury/Pluto conjunction.. that's beautiful to see in this kind of dynamic. It proves how in sync you both are intellectually. You understand the patterns of his mind, and always know how to deliver on assignments/essays where other people find it difficult and mysterious.

Hmm.. I actually do not really know his mind patterns, he talks a lot but it's always about what he is doing (college things, he is pretty much popular in his department and with his students). Sometimes I've noticed he always try to make what topic we should have in conversation. That's why we never really talk about our personal life outside of our friendship and for so many years I didn't know he was married.

I have mercury square pluto natally, so I may understand scorpio mercury a lil bit and sometime find the depth I need with those folks.

Two Moons in Aries! Aries moons tend to gravitate to one another. He must come off very young and almost not like a professor at all. Saturn opposite Sun tells me the dynamic isn't typical and even though he's younger, he's more "mature" and in the position of power. Very interesting. You're like flipping the student/professor stereotypes on its head

Yes. He is actually in the position of power in his department now. He called me at work one time to ask my opinion before he agreed with the position offered. I thought it was weird he asked my opinion (as also we have a huge age gap) but as a friend I told him to not thinking too much (as his typical suspicious scorpio mercury/sun) and some of support he need then let him to take his own decision. Days after, he called me that he took the position.

His Moon/Chiron deeply admires your Moon/Jupiter. You're strong, intelligent, fierce, and independent. He gives off a gentle vulnerability deep down inside and wants to shine in your light.

You think so? He said to me that everytime he met me he felt happy, not really sure what made him as I remember I just made a joke.

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hearttreasure
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posted November 23, 2016 09:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@yungang_grotto:

The Venus Neptune double whammy with your Mars on his Neptune is a pretty big factor. It would facilitate active fantasizing on his part to an extreme degree, as well as dishonesty/evasiveness...

We have the Venus Neptune aspect repeated as a tight conjunction in the composite chart,

I'm afraid of mars/neptune aspect too as in my previous relationship there's mars & mercury/neptune. Lots of LIES and hidden agenda on his parts.

, and Mars on the ascendant indicating his predominant interest and also his forthright behaviour and interest in physical action/sex (if we take the male/female planetary archetypes to indicate the people playing those gender roles in the relationship). His interest in you being of a sexual nature the whole time is very likely.

If no one is around us, probably he would jump on me. lol. So I always avoid quiet places with him because sometimes he can be politely aggressive.

My cancer mars ex also did that. He may look like an innocent and passive, but if no one was watching, he quickly jumped on me, like a crab. Rip off all of the cloths but at the same time was afraid that his Mama found out he was not that innocent. LOL. The sneaky part I'm NOT a fans of.

The familiarity and comfort you have with one another is definitely testified to by the Moon Moon conjunction. The thing with this particular conjunction in Aries is the tendency to butt heads if you ever do disagree about anything--he is unconsciously attracted to your own self involvement (focusing on college, looking out for your own interests, etc), he resonates strongly with that and likes that quality as he shares it, for him it is integrated with his pain body and so he is naturally attracted to your unique line on wisdom and philosophical well being and self confidence, which on some level he may suffer for/because of. He requires the expansive Jupiter for understanding the gravity of his own emotional wound, quite likely. You make it somehow very clear to him and he identifies with you as somebody similar who exemplifies a healthy aspect of his own psyche.

Yes. I may fear it a little bit in relationship with another Aries mooner. But 9 years in our friendship, we never argue. We may disagree for some topics, but I really dislike arguing, so usually I just listen when I know I do not agree with him.

To be honest I thought he was a Sag moon and a Scorpio venus. Natally he also has moon conjunct jupiter in wide aspect. Edit: Oops, he's not having moon conjunct jupiter apparently, it's too wide to call it conjunction.

The emphasis on the 4th house in the composite is also indicative of a natural friendship. I would be wary of his advances though, personally. Anybody who presses on even when you have indicated you aren't interested does not have your best interests at heart. You have Venus square Mars as well, of course, so there could be an element of the chase which you enjoy. I don't have enough information from you regarding your feelings to give any further insight. I'm sorry I haven't stuck to strictly answering your question (why is he attracted to you), but the likelihood is that it is based mostly on his personal fantasies. The synastry does have affair written all over it. Wishing you well. The potential exists for transcendental moments of love and a sense of well being and harmony, but also tension and selfishness, and predation, and indulgent/active dishonesty (Neptune-Mars, Venus-Neptune) so be careful and stay true to yourself.

I may admire him for some part, but I don't allow myself to develop feelings towards him as he is married. I also treat him like a good friend nothing more.

I have venus square mars 0° and he also has cancer mars square libra venus. Does he think I chase him?

Thank you for your advice @yungang_grotto. I was in Neptune hard aspect synastry before, too much lies and hidden agenda. Learn my lessons.

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LexusVirgo
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posted November 24, 2016 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LexusVirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Of course he liked you, he did not tell you of his marriage. That is a dead giveaway.

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Aubyanne
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From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
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posted November 24, 2016 03:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LexusVirgo:
Of course he liked you, he did not tell you of his marriage. That is a dead giveaway.

Heh! She's asking WHAT made him like her, in spite of his marriage. And, hey. Attraction's attraction. You can still be in love with someone (your partner) and attracted to someone else. The attraction may be purely physical, or simply chemical.

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hearttreasure
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posted November 24, 2016 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LexusVirgo:
Of course he liked you, he did not tell you of his marriage. That is a dead giveaway.

Hmm.. now I remember.. The first class I attended, he wore ring on his finger (it may a wedding ring but idk), then the second class he didn't wear any ring on his finger anymore. I've never seen those ring until now.

When I found out he is married with two kids and the fact that he hides it from me, I started to think this is a serious problem and I need to put a lot of distance from him which I did.

Just last week (his birthday) he finally told me what year he was born because he kept hiding it from me (unfortunately no birth time info).

9 years in friendship is a loooong time and he always persistently keep me closer even when I try to disappear, he will find a way to find me. This makes me curious, why is he attracted to me (I mean like, there was one time when he aggressively want -almost like forcing me?- to have more from me and he confessed his feelings but I refused to acknowledge it, then I disappeared for months for his own good and mine but he kept coming back - the friendship is like back and forth like this)?

There are many astrology speculations on attraction aspects and I'm not an expert, so I wanna know why is he attracted to me based on synastry/composite? and what does make him fall for me?

Just wanna have a good learning here..

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todd
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posted November 25, 2016 02:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The first thing I noticed was the vertex axis on the descendant/ascendant axis with Mars on the ascendant. The vertex pattern always gives a otherworldly feeling to the relationship. With Mars conjunct this pattern, he was overwhelmed by the synchronistic feeling that there may be some type of karma drawing you together. As you got to know him I'm sure that there unusual similarities in your life experiences even though there is a great difference in age.
But he when overboard because of the Mars square to venus/neptune.this is always a sign of a player. This pattern virtually never results in a serious relationship because it is all about the game. Very often this aspect occurs to people who meet in a social situation and are not looking for a permanent relationship.
This dynamic in your chart is complicated by the moon opposed to Pluto and trine to venus/neptune.this pattern is associated with great sensitivity and a sense of spiritual understanding. So I can see why you are confused. You were taken by the supportive emotional connection and you were not responding to the sexual nature of the vertex/desc/mars pattern.
But his slipping off his wedding betrays the fact that he is interested is therapeutic sex rather than the spiritual emotional connection.

With Uranus square psychic combined with the mars/vertex dynamic, he is after the transient sexuality.
With nessus conjunct to cupid and these square to the mars/venus and pluto/uranus midpoints, his aggressive carnal desires superseded and emotional sensitivity for you .in fact he used the emotional/spiritual feelings between you to further his sexual seduction or so he thought. He will not give up and my suggestion is to cut him off. Especially as you know he is married, any further socialization is senseless. Again he will not get out of his carnal preocupation with you.
Todd

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hearttreasure
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posted November 29, 2016 01:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^ Thank you for your reading Todd.

Since I realized that the next day his ring was not in his finger anymore, I was pretty much guarded around him, until now.

9 years of friendship I never let my feelings grow although he always brought me presents or paid everything and took me to new places.

Now I remember another little piece of the memory when I was in a college admission and he was there telling me, "we are too late to meet. If only I had waited longer". Now I understand what it meant.

Will consider your advice Todd although for me it is hard to cut of friendship..

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