posted December 10, 2016 03:48 PM            

I told him the truth, that it's too fast and I am not there. He apologized and seemed upset.

How emotional are you Cancer males? How do I remain our current level without upsetting his vulnerabilities? Any advice or experience? I really want to stay friends if this doesn't work and keep this a positive friendship if it doesn't turn more serious for me. Thanks in advance.

Our astrological temperaments are different as I'll list in case it helps.

He is:
Cancer male, Asc, Venus 12th
Aries moon 9th
Gem Mars 12th

I'm a:
Cancer rising
Sag sun & merc 5th
Libra moon 3rd
Scorpio Venus 4th
Aries Mars

posted December 11, 2016 05:20 PM            

so, i might be able to refer a bit to him

i think the real reason for him having said that - astrologically - is that he is impulsive (aries moon) and since the moon is his chart ruler and very important for him, he is really ariesian: spontaneous, passionate and quick.
So, i am not surprised that he said that to you after such a short time period. Also, he is a gem mars. Loves to flirt and to talk about love.

posted December 11, 2016 05:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Enneline:
Well, i am not male but i have cancer sun, asc and cancer venus in 12h and aries moon in 10h and mars in gem in 11h

so, i might be able to refer a bit to him

i think the real reason for him having said that - astrologically - is that he is impulsive (aries moon) and since the moon is his chart ruler and very important for him, he is really ariesian: spontaneous, passionate and quick.
So, i am not surprised that he said that to you after such a short time period. Also, he is a gem mars. Loves to flirt and to talk about love.

his rejection made him hurt since he is cancer and venus is in cancer in 12h.

---

posted December 11, 2016 07:29 PM            

I mean the word, the feeling, the implications... all of it.

There's wisdom in taking it slow. In a culture which takes "love" for a magic word which means things are developing towards being together forever, it's natural that a person should balk at its use when they are still getting to know somebody. Especially somebody with prominent Sag in their chart!

But there's this other meaning to love which needn't be quite so serious. Neither need it be taken for sappy, sentimental and lame. Love can mean "I really like you, I deeply care about you, and I want all the best for you. You are in my heart."

The thing is that we live in disparate cultures... even in the same apartment building. If one person grew up expressing love in their family really often and freely, it would seem strange NOT to love a person with whom you're close friends, and with whom you've been intimate.

In my world, I don't think I've been physically intimate with any person for several weeks running without telling them I love them... but that's normal for me. I don't have strong Cancer but I definitely have a history of getting in over my head really soon and then coming up for air months later once I have REALLY gotten to know the person. But those were needful lessons for me.

Anyway, I think it will likely turn out that you have some emotional communication stuff to work out together. One person says a word and means it one way, and the other person takes it to mean more than what it sounded like, and feelings get hurt because of misunderstanding more than anything else.

There's so much that needs to be communicated in an intimate relationship... but assumptions get made. Like he might have assumed intimacy=love, and you see it as an adventure, and a not-serious testing the waters. That's a pretty huge misunderstanding and if you want to maintain your friendship it would be good to see it as a difference of perspective... and make it clear that you care about his feelings, if you can! Because he definitely is having them

But yes as far as your question goes, a person with a lot of Cancer in their chart is so in tune with their emotions that they get deeply involved in relationships which mean a lot to them, and they are seeking the kind of comfort, support and security in their physical unions which go with our culture's idea of committed relationship. A lot of the time. And this is because Cancer actually knows themselves really well on some levels... when they get involved they are being informed intuitively and on this somatic level. The physical union is a big deal for Cancer, it can be very emotional even if there are other augmenting factors.

posted December 11, 2016 07:36 PM            

Gemini Mars though... he would have engaged in a deliberate and cerebral way which took into account your apparent emotional sensitivity to him through the sympathy by sign with his Mars and your Moon/Sun/Mercury/Mars... interpreting your reaction to his actions through his Cancer lens and then feeling ultimately self indulgent and more or less unable to really see where you are coming from with it because... well Aries Moon, more than happy to graciously accept all the attention they get and all the love and put themselves first emotionally. So paired with Cancer stuff it would be hard for him to get any distance if he has really identified what he wants and has taken steps to engage with you in this loving way... it would've been difficult for him because he constructed this version of how it is already.. you know? And with Venus in the 12th it might be much more elaborate and romantic than he's letting on.

posted December 11, 2016 07:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Love means different things to different people.

I mean the word, the feeling, the implications... all of it.

There's wisdom in taking it slow. In a culture which takes "love" for a magic word which means things are developing towards being together forever, it's natural that a person should balk at its use when they are still getting to know somebody. Especially somebody with prominent Sag in their chart!

But there's this other meaning to love which needn't be quite so serious. Neither need it be taken for sappy, sentimental and lame. Love can mean "I really like you, I deeply care about you, and I want all the best for you. You are in my heart."

The thing is that we live in disparate cultures... even in the same apartment building. If one person grew up expressing love in their family really often and freely, it would seem strange NOT to love a person with whom you're close friends, and with whom you've been intimate.

In my world, I don't think I've been physically intimate with any person for several weeks running without telling them I love them... but that's normal for me. I don't have strong Cancer but I definitely have a history of getting in over my head really soon and then coming up for air months later once I have REALLY gotten to know the person. But those were needful lessons for me.

Anyway, I think it will likely turn out that you have some emotional communication stuff to work out together. One person says a word and means it one way, and the other person takes it to mean more than what it sounded like, and feelings get hurt because of misunderstanding more than anything else.

There's so much that needs to be communicated in an intimate relationship... but assumptions get made. Like he might have assumed intimacy=love, and you see it as an adventure, and a not-serious testing the waters. That's a pretty huge misunderstanding and if you want to maintain your friendship it would be good to see it as a difference of perspective... and make it clear that you care about his feelings, if you can! Because he definitely is having them

But yes as far as your question goes, a person with a lot of Cancer in their chart is so in tune with their emotions that they get deeply involved in relationships which mean a lot to them, and they are seeking the kind of comfort, support and security in their physical unions which go with our culture's idea of committed relationship. A lot of the time. And this is because Cancer actually knows themselves really well on some levels... when they get involved they are being informed intuitively and on this somatic level. The physical union is a big deal for Cancer, it can be very emotional even if there are other augmenting factors.

The people I've been with who were willing to move in with me almost right away were all people with Cancer stelliums... they are easily besotted with somebody who can provide a home or who hangs out with them at home. It sounds simple but it seems true.

---

Thank you for your response. I tend to back away and become skiddish when told, "I love you" too fast simply because those words hold such emotional depth and promise that I fear the person themselves doesn't truly appreciate the gesture behind them. (If that makes any sense.) If we use astrology, I'm supposed to be the stalkerish lover with my venus in Scorpio right? Ha-ha. Most sags with Scorp Venus are a handful but back to the topic.😂

This whole situation I'm in is quite different with men then it is with women. In my opinion at least. And yes, Sag women are mostly into stereotypical manly men & cancer males show their strength differently - I need to remind myself of that. COMMUNICATION IS ALREADY difficult due to his "tantrums" which I'm not entirely equipped to tolerate well but so far he seems ok. He does say things like, "I'm not giving you up" or "I'm not going anywhere" which make me think ** alert! Crime of passion suspect** both reassuring and suffocating all at once.

Anyways. Thanks again.

What are your placements if you don't mind me asking?

posted December 11, 2016 07:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
I think you with Libra Moon are more level headed when it comes to relationships; you understand the cerebral reality of them on an emotional level and are able to be relatively detached and impartial until as you say "a decision has been made" (did you say something like that)... also an Aries Mars paired with Sag Sun/Mercury is just a spitfire when it comes to physical union! I have Mars in Aries too and I understand that the actual act does not require a great deal of deliberation. If other personality factors are happy and giving the green light, Mars in Aries is more than willing to go for it and the physical act itself is its own reward.

Gemini Mars though... he would have engaged in a deliberate and cerebral way which took into account your apparent emotional sensitivity to him through the sympathy by sign with his Mars and your Moon/Sun/Mercury/Mars... interpreting your reaction to his actions through his Cancer lens and then feeling ultimately self indulgent and more or less unable to really see where you are coming from with it because... well Aries Moon, more than happy to graciously accept all the attention they get and all the love and put themselves first emotionally. So paired with Cancer stuff it would be hard for him to get any distance if he has really identified what he wants and has taken steps to engage with you in this loving way... it would've been difficult for him because he constructed this version of how it is already.. you know? And with Venus in the 12th it might be much more elaborate and romantic than he's letting on.

But you have interesting complementarity in general. Hopefully you can come to an understanding.

---

posted December 11, 2016 07:54 PM            

Haha... I hear you. Your Libra Moon/Scorpio Venus are working full tilt investigating and discerning about this person and you'll be fine. Just yes, remember his feelings! I can only imagine the tantrums with the Aries Moon/Cancer combo, my goodness. Glad you're making out alright. Just maintain compassion... it's a wonderful secret for getting the distance you need, to be compassionate... "bigger self" or "higher self" or whatever can step waaaayyyy back and just hold it all... rather than getting personally embroiled. Yet you can still engage.

posted December 11, 2016 08:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by colourful butterfly:
Oh wow, I liked how you explained that. Not trying to be funny but could you do mine. I have Cancer sun in the 10th and gemini venus conjunct mc. Libra moon conjunct pluto in the 1st. Gemini mars in the 9th. Virgo rising in my 12 house. Like how and why I go about things like I do.

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Hi, I'm so glad you liked it. I'm sorry I can't though, I just came on the thread to answer this question and then wrote more than I originally intended... I tend to do that...

I do offer chart interpretations professionally and I will do little readings on a by donation basis. Right now my website doesn't explicitly state that, but if you get in touch with me through my email on there I would be happy to work with you and help you understand your chart!

I would love to be able to do this for everybody who asks for free all the time, but I can't... it isn't practical time wise ( I am presently having picture books presented to me rather insistently, and have to read them to a little person who needs my attention)

posted December 11, 2016 08:02 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Enneline:
Well, i am not male but i have cancer sun, asc and cancer venus in 12h and aries moon in 10h and mars in gem in 11h

so, i might be able to refer a bit to him

i think the real reason for him having said that - astrologically - is that he is impulsive (aries moon) and since the moon is his chart ruler and very important for him, he is really ariesian: spontaneous, passionate and quick.
So, i am not surprised that he said that to you after such a short time period. Also, he is a gem mars. Loves to flirt and to talk about love.

his rejection made him hurt since he is cancer and venus is in cancer in 12h.

---

Hi! Yeah, your charts are very similar and im glad you're a female, thank you for responding.

If you care to share, how do you handle that beginning stage of dating with your impulsive moon and all? Do you mean what you say or is it more of a generalized statement? Do you think others find you short tempered? Lol. I wouldn't want to see all that cancer ****** honestly.

I felt like he doesn't understand my position on what love is and he has a 2 second attention span that further prevents me from explaining it. He mentions my looks A LOT which bother me because I feel like tlmy better qualities are of no use to him. I'm a sag. I have philosophy for days and I want light and laughter and he feels like a wet blanket sometimes.

Have you ever dated a sag? I hate I asked so many questions...

About the 12th house, I did some research - astrologically speaking - all had either/or a mix of sun, moon, merc, mars, Venus falling in my 12th house. Any clue the significance to that? Seems my 3rd, 4th & 5th houses always fall on their sun, moon, Venus whatever.

Anyways. I must learn how to post a picture on here. Hopefully people will help me understand the 12th house thing.

Thank you again. Toodaloo

posted December 11, 2016 08:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
"He does say things like, "I'm not giving you up" or "I'm not going anywhere" which make me think ** alert! Crime of passion suspect** both reassuring and suffocating all at once."

Haha... I hear you. Your Libra Moon/Scorpio Venus are working full tilt investigating and discerning about this person and you'll be fine. Just yes, remember his feelings! I can only imagine the tantrums with the Aries Moon/Cancer combo, my goodness. Glad you're making out alright. Just maintain compassion... it's a wonderful secret for getting the distance you need, to be compassionate... "bigger self" or "higher self" or whatever can step waaaayyyy back and just hold it all... rather than getting personally embroiled. Yet you can still engage.

Dispassionate/compassionate. Good one for Sag!

---

Ahhh that made me smile

I have a hard time being compassionate but I'll feel it and not know how in the heck to even begin to show it ya know?

I will try that advice now since he just came up.

Btw, how does being compassionate help me achieve distance ? If anything I'd think it would pull him in closer?

posted December 11, 2016 10:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
I think you with Libra Moon are more level headed when it comes to relationships; you understand the cerebral reality of them on an emotional level and are able to be relatively detached and impartial until as you say "a decision has been made" (did you say something like that)... also an Aries Mars paired with Sag Sun/Mercury is just a spitfire when it comes to physical union! I have Mars in Aries too and I understand that the actual act does not require a great deal of deliberation. If other personality factors are happy and giving the green light, Mars in Aries is more than willing to go for it and the physical act itself is its own reward.

Gemini Mars though... he would have engaged in a deliberate and cerebral way which took into account your apparent emotional sensitivity to him through the sympathy by sign with his Mars and your Moon/Sun/Mercury/Mars... interpreting your reaction to his actions through his Cancer lens and then feeling ultimately self indulgent and more or less unable to really see where you are coming from with it because... well Aries Moon, more than happy to graciously accept all the attention they get and all the love and put themselves first emotionally. So paired with Cancer stuff it would be hard for him to get any distance if he has really identified what he wants and has taken steps to engage with you in this loving way... it would've been difficult for him because he constructed this version of how it is already.. you know? And with Venus in the 12th it might be much more elaborate and romantic than he's letting on.

But you have interesting complementarity in general. Hopefully you can come to an understanding.

---

Exactly! I am sweet naturally, and a great hostess (cancer rising) so a lot of men take my kindness as flirting. We did take it to a physical level and o.m.g. 😂 life changing good. That's i think where a lot of my signals came from. I'm a sexual woman and I enjoyed it so much I kept doing it. (I do like him) but it's gonna take more than sex and 3 weeks to have me saying I love you when I'm.not even sure he knows how I interpret those 3 words.

I tried tonight to explain it to him and he seemed to find it cute and he said, "let's pretend like it didn't happen so I won't pull back anymore."

I'm trying but I'm at a loss too. I'm a Scorpio Venus which should in theory work well. Wish I could post our synnestry chart though, it's damn near all red lines lol. Which can be fun too but.... yeah.

Anyways. It seems men whose 12th house placements land in my sun, moon, mars and Venus just LOVE me fast and don't give up. Any astrological reason for that?

And thank you for responding. I just saw you had written me.

What's your placements?

posted December 11, 2016 10:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
My placements-
Sun, Mercury, Pluto, Ascendant Scorpio
Moon/Neptune conjunct in Capricorn
Venus in Libra
Mars Aries
Jupiter Gemini
Saturn Capricorn
Uranus Sagittarius

is really hard for me to just state sign placements because there's so much more to it in terms of their interrelationship. But it's a good practice!

---

posted December 12, 2016 05:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by raindancer88:

....
If you care to share, how do you handle that beginning stage of dating with your impulsive moon and all? Do you mean what you say or is it more of a generalized statement? Do you think others find you short tempered? Lol. I wouldn't want to see all that cancer ****** honestly.

---

i am going to reply to you in "pieces" since that little screen doesn't provide me sufficient "overview".

of course, i can speak for myself only but even though my chart/sun and venus ruler is in aries, i am nevertheless a cancer, that means sensitivity. of course i can be smitten by a person- and regret it after a few hours/days/weeks but normally, if i am already in the relationship, i do mean what i say.

of course, i can't "judge" him. I would need to see his chart and even then i would need to see and get to know him in person.

yes, people would call me short-tempered. True. Can't deny I can be very impulsive- just to regret it 3 seconds later. Hmpf.

posted December 12, 2016 07:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by raindancer88:
...
...
I felt like he doesn't understand my position on what love is and he has a 2 second attention span that further prevents me from explaining it. He mentions my looks A LOT which bother me because I feel like tlmy better qualities are of no use to him. I'm a sag. I have philosophy for days and I want light and laughter and he feels like a wet blanket sometimes.

Have you ever dated a sag? I hate I asked so many questions..

---

well, he is a venus cancer- in 12h. we are very sensitive, probably experienced disappointments in the past and so any slight indication of rejection deeply hurts.

He is a cancer and so he has hided himself in a shell, that's what cancers do

This is a generalization of course

The only way: be patient, be very sweet and soft, and tell him a 1000 times what you really meant and that you really care for him....

Oh my god. yes, my very first boyfriend was a sag and i will hate him 4ever....hahahaha.

posted December 12, 2016 11:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
@colourfulbutterly

I have been feeling badly that I didn't give you a synposis of your chart, but I looked at the placements you listed more closely and noticed that I actually covered a lot of that in my post before. I find it difficult to give piecemeal interpretations based on sign placements alone, and I did so in this case because as I said it's an interesting exercise, but without the whole chart it is a lot more challenging and I actually did what I could do with just sign placements in that post, which was quite similar to your placements.

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