posted December 20, 2016 02:10 PM            

At the current moment I have dated this guy who again is not in my best interest, on and off for the last 10 months. The things he says and does from time to time are just flat out not right but I am not perfect neither. We do not lack passion that is for sure! Saturn conjunct mars. (shoot me!! PLZ) Just seems like everything is his way or no way which is fine. I enjoy the moment with him and well leave it at that. I'm just to tired anymore to argue or deal with it. I'll see him when I see him and just know how things go. It's all good, like I said I'm a good sport. I just am the type to be courted and I am not use to anything outside that. Every woman knows the signs of a guy who is into you vs he's just not that into you. Doesn't leave me feeling well seeing how he litterlly swept me off my feet when I met him, then things just aren't the same thats for sure but when I do see him, I have a nice time.

So what is interesting is this guy at work who all I've ever said is hey and bye to from out of the blue just pursues me. I was shocked that he had this side to him and god does he make me smile !!! He kissed my forehead one day and I felt a rush to my toes. Problem is because of the same senerio, this guy (saturn\mars) acted this way when we first met, the guy at work I just kinda looked at like ugh huh. Right. So I told him to just get to know me but inside my fear was it's going to just be same thing all over again and I can't go threw it again especially at work. etc. Found out he and a girl that I am really cool with may have something going on and well, I just ended up telling him thank you but I just prefer we just be friends. I called him big daddy and was like you know your always going to be my big daddy, he just was like I hope to always be that and anything else I needed him to be. WOW!!!!! WOW , WOW!!!! Literally he has me like blushing head to toe!!! I just know at some point regardless the illusion will wear off and it just will go to something different. All relationships of any kind do. Anyway, I am not up for the drama and know what it's like to be the girl who is about a guy at work, Plus other stuff I know. It's just probably not a good idea.(Logically) I looked at our synastry though, he is venus. ( warmth and comfort) I am saturn (standoffish) I was like omg!!! How true these things play out. SMH

Venus conjunct saturn I read is the true love aspect. I just don't think in love\ the one exist. I think love is just a few years of infatuation, then black and white where your seeing the others flaws because the illusion wore off , then finally you just love the person for who they are warts and all ( mature love\ companion love) outside of that you just have passionate love which is just burning to do you type of love and it wears off when the infatuation phase is over. I've never met anyone I didn't see outside of as I know everyone will leave at some point or another in your life. Enjoy the time you have with them because their either going to leave you or die on you. Everyone will hurt you at some point, they don't mean to their just human and flawed. It's just the facts of life, crap will hurt ,and you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. It's the highs and lows of life. People who stay are blessings to cherish and people who go are lessons to be understood and learned from. Blessing in their own way if your wise enough to gain from difficult times which is difficult and hard to do, finding the silver lining.

posted December 25, 2016 07:56 AM            

I read your post and from my perspective there is not single aspect of true love or whatever term you want to use.

a synastry needs to be seen in the overall perspective of each individual chart. a bad synastry from the perspective on x type of chart is a good one for another type of chart. so we first need to know what is important for us in a relatioship (by studying our own chart) to see if we can pick an aspect that MUST be there for us to know it is an important relationship.

from what you narrate in your post I get that you are struggling with ass..oles and even if you are aware you feel feedup but without too much energy or idea how to break the cycle.

and.. when we are in toxic relationships, whatever we attract at that moment will be similar because your energetic field is still stuck in that type of relationship...

My advice, do not enter into anything just right now. instead, try to learn at least one skill in the current relationship. for instance, why did you attract the current arschole you are currently dating? what do you need to learn from that relationship? For example just immagine that the reason you are in that situation is that you need to LEARN to set limits? in order to LEARN to set limits, you need someone who want or try to violate those limits so you are prompt to set them. does it make sense? immagine someone who invite you and then call off at the last MINUTE, how do you teach that person to respect you? DO YOU THINK THIS PERSON WILL DO THE SAME TO ALL WOMEN OR JUST TO YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT? I guess next time you do the same to him, or you just do not answer his calls, or any other creative measure. the point is if you do not use the CURRENT relationhip to learn the lessons, then you will perpetuate the cycle. nobody different will come to you. that is wishful thinking!

if you are the same person, acting the same way, having the same vibrational field, how in earth are you going to meet someone different from the ones you are seing now? for you to attract a different type of guy, you need FIRST to be a different type of woman. use the opportunity of the current (even if toxic) relationship to get your A in the test of life. maybe being able to call it off the entire relationship will change your vibration, but never because you met a new guy. you need to find the courage to leave a toxic person with your own strength. when you try to do so only after you meet someone else you are just setting yourself up for meeting the same type of energy (meaning ASS::HOLE) you have been meeting.

posted December 25, 2016 11:09 AM            

I think that when you have an aspect repeat itself in synastry over and over, but the outcome is disappointing, then you want to look at your natal chart and try to see what personal lesson you need to be working on in order to bring about more satisfying results. I have Saturn conjunct NN. Many times I get members of my soul family (I believe) bringing their SN to conjunct that conjunction. I get a lot of Pluto synastry with those combinations. I am usually consumed. But gradually I am learning my lessons. I've seen the things in myself that I haven't wanted to uncover and I have learned from them (my soul family-I love them) what I do and don't want in my life. I've had a man with both his Mars and Venus conjunct my Saturn/NN come in and out of my life through what I consider to be the peak of these lessons. As he's come in and out and I've had my experiences and lessons with others, I've realized some things. 1. He loved me from the beginning, even if I couldn't see it. Even if it wasn't good enough for me. Saturn perceives not getting what they want as rejection. Saturn doesn't have to take what she doesn't want but in order to go forward successfully and freely it's important to be able to assess situations clearly- for learning purposes. It's important to be clear about what you are doing in a relationship- saying no to this and yes to that. 2. Both he and the others touching my Saturn/NN have taught me that in the end Saturn is in control. Saturn holds the reigns and Saturn is the magician. You're the one that opens and closes doors, even when it seems the other walked away. And you're the one with power to break and heal your own heart. Saturn is exalted in Libra because of his deep understanding of the meaning of love, and how love is unrestricted (interesting right) by time and space. Look at your chart and work with your own Saturn, and also maybe listen to what Vedic astrologers have to say about Saturn.

posted December 25, 2016 06:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Orange:
Do you have in your natal a Sun - Neptune hard aspect?
And Venus - Saturn hardie as well, or Saturn in the 5th or 7th?

---

Venus oppose neptune, I see what I want to see is what I read. I am unable to post my chart up here, I've tried but I can't seem to get it to come up. My bday is July 2 1979 at 12:35 greensboro nc

posted December 25, 2016 06:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
What you read about Venus/Saturn conjunction as being a true love aspect is absolutely true. Everything else is just details. Some people have it one way in synastry and they feel like glue. But some people have it double way and its far more intense. I have it with my man. Its the most powerful thing I ever felt. You dont mess with Saturn.

---

The Sag? Or another man, you have this with?

WOW, and congratulations if he is now *your* man. I hope I understood that right as I don't want to say anything insensitive.

posted December 25, 2016 06:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by colorful butterfly:
I think love is just a few years of infatuation, then black and white where your seeing the others flaws because the illusion wore off , then finally you just love the person for who they are warts and all ( mature love\ companion love) outside of that you just have passionate love which is just burning to do you type of love and it wears off when the infatuation phase is over. I've never met anyone I didn't see outside of as I know everyone will leave at some point or another in your life. Enjoy the time you have with them because their either going to leave you or die on you. Everyone will hurt you at some point, they don't mean to their just human and flawed. It's just the facts of life, crap will hurt ,and you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. It's the highs and lows of life. People who stay are blessings to cherish and people who go are lessons to be understood and learned from. Blessing in their own way if your wise enough to gain from difficult times which is difficult and hard to do, finding the silver lining.

Tell me what you think ??? Any one experience life like this or is it just me???

---

My view lines up with yours though I am trying to believe it gets better than that for some select few.

posted December 25, 2016 06:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by nordicsoul:
hi ColorButerfly,

I read your post and from my perspective there is not single aspect of true love or whatever term you want to use.

a synastry needs to be seen in the overall perspective of each individual chart. a bad synastry from the perspective on x type of chart is a good one for another type of chart. so we first need to know what is important for us in a relatioship (by studying our own chart) to see if we can pick an aspect that MUST be there for us to know it is an important relationship.

from what you narrate in your post I get that you are struggling with ass..oles and even if you are aware you feel feedup but without too much energy or idea how to break the cycle.

and.. when we are in toxic relationships, whatever we attract at that moment will be similar because your energetic field is still stuck in that type of relationship...

My advice, do not enter into anything just right now. instead, try to learn at least one skill in the current relationship. for instance, why did you attract the current arschole you are currently dating? what do you need to learn from that relationship? For example just immagine that the reason you are in that situation is that you need to LEARN to set limits? in order to LEARN to set limits, you need someone who want or try to violate those limits so you are prompt to set them. does it make sense? immagine someone who invite you and then call off at the last MINUTE, how do you teach that person to respect you? DO YOU THINK THIS PERSON WILL DO THE SAME TO ALL WOMEN OR JUST TO YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT? I guess next time you do the same to him, or you just do not answer his calls, or any other creative measure. the point is if you do not use the CURRENT relationhip to learn the lessons, then you will perpetuate the cycle. nobody different will come to you. that is wishful thinking!

if you are the same person, acting the same way, having the same vibrational field, how in earth are you going to meet someone different from the ones you are seing now? for you to attract a different type of guy, you need FIRST to be a different type of woman. use the opportunity of the current (even if toxic) relationship to get your A in the test of life. maybe being able to call it off the entire relationship will change your vibration, but never because you met a new guy. you need to find the courage to leave a toxic person with your own strength. when you try to do so only after you meet someone else you are just setting yourself up for meeting the same type of energy (meaning ASS::HOLE) you have been meeting.

I do hope my words make sense.. marry Christmas!

---

posted December 25, 2016 06:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
And you're the one with power to break and heal your own heart.

---

One of the Great Mysteries, to me, at this point in my life.

posted December 25, 2016 07:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
Hi Butterfly

I think that when you have an aspect repeat itself in synastry over and over, but the outcome is disappointing, then you want to look at your natal chart and try to see what personal lesson you need to be working on in order to bring about more satisfying results. I have Saturn conjunct NN. Many times I get members of my soul family (I believe) bringing their SN to conjunct that conjunction. I get a lot of Pluto synastry with those combinations. I am usually consumed. But gradually I am learning my lessons. I've seen the things in myself that I haven't wanted to uncover and I have learned from them (my soul family-I love them) what I do and don't want in my life. I've had a man with both his Mars and Venus conjunct my Saturn/NN come in and out of my life through what I consider to be the peak of these lessons. As he's come in and out and I've had my experiences and lessons with others, I've realized some things. 1. He loved me from the beginning, even if I couldn't see it. Even if it wasn't good enough for me. Saturn perceives not getting what they want as rejection. Saturn doesn't have to take what she doesn't want but in order to go forward successfully and freely it's important to be able to assess situations clearly- for learning purposes. It's important to be clear about what you are doing in a relationship- saying no to this and yes to that. 2. Both he and the others touching my Saturn/NN have taught me that in the end Saturn is in control. Saturn holds the reigns and Saturn is the magician. You're the one that opens and closes doors, even when it seems the other walked away. And you're the one with power to break and heal your own heart. Saturn is exalted in Libra because of his deep understanding of the meaning of love, and how love is unrestricted (interesting right) by time and space. Look at your chart and work with your own Saturn, and also maybe listen to what Vedic astrologers have to say about Saturn.

Also if you feel happy and loved being courted then don't disregard that.

---

posted December 25, 2016 07:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
One of the Great Mysteries, to me, at this point in my life.

To what extent does anyone need anyone? ? I mean, is it spiritually ideal to be self-reliant or part of something else? Maybe just a matter of seasons...sometimes come together, sometimes stand alone. *musing aloud*

---

posted December 25, 2016 07:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
My view lines up with yours though I am trying to believe it gets better than that for some select few.

My Venus tightly conjunct my husband's Saturn. I'm so used to it by now I don't really think of it. Except when I feel like doing something fun (5H Sag Venus) and he says No.

---

posted December 25, 2016 09:21 PM            

Decades ago, I had encounters with two different women of the same age. There was a 16-year age difference, me being the senior player in both cases. I would have gladly gone long-range with either gal had there been interest on their part.

Other factors could have been responsible for these stalled-out relationships. However I always attributed it to their Saturns conjuncting my Venus.

Subject A had Venus conjunct her Saturn on her Ascendant – not an easy one from what I've read. You might think my Venus sitting on top of that situation would breath life into a relationship. Unless I was sleeping on the job, it didn't. What's puzzling about this to me when I look back is that we both placed our Jupiters in the other's seventh house. In spite of those seemingly good connections,we were essentially dead shortly after arrival.

My association with Subject B played out slightly better in duration and quality than a one-night-stand. Much to my disappointment, though, in the long run it, too, proved to be colder than North Atlantic cod.

Needless to say I am not too excited about Venus conjunct Saturn in relationships. If the aspect happens to indicate a long delay in bringing the relationship to fruition, it must be hellaciously long because the cases I describe above happened 40 years ago.

posted December 25, 2016 11:25 PM            

@yungang
*waving hi*

@GrandFireT
That's very generous of you to copy out some of your book for us. If it's not too long or too much trouble I would love to read it.

Thank you!

posted December 26, 2016 06:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Sorry to be random....

The Sag? Or another man, you have this with?

WOW, and congratulations if he is now *your* man. I hope I understood that right as I don't want to say anything insensitive.

---

posted December 26, 2016 02:57 PM            

"This contact tends to favor the long-term buildup of an affectionate link between two partners but of itself it is hardly a combination promising ecstasy."

"The good aspects encourage loyalty but often Venus has to supply most of the affection, while Saturn, even if equally affectionate, may have difficulty in demonstrating affection outwardly or may lack gentleness in expressing it."

"Ptolemy speaks well of the conjunction as a combination promising happiness and constancy but it has been observed that on occasion, Saturn's apparent coldness can evoke in Venus such a feeling of restriction and of not being appreciated that the partnership may never flourish. Saturn may be tempted to demand too much from his partner."

"It may sometimes happen, especially with the conjunction, that Venus has a great deal to learn from Saturn and when Venus is attracted to an older person, his greater experience may be the means of steadying the emotional responses of Venus and helping her to develop a sound all-round sense of values"

"Sometimes Venus will develop an affection for a Saturn person who for some reason does not return her love or whom she subsequently finds is inaccessible to her."

"Saturn may try to discourage any excessive show of feeling from the partner, who consequently feels denied a natural outlet for her motions. Venus is always the one who suffers more."

The dust jacket of this book says the author is England's foremost living astrologer. Publication info: ASI Publishers, New York, 1977. Quotations from pp. 130-131.

posted December 26, 2016 04:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
One of the Great Mysteries, to me, at this point in my life.

To what extent does anyone need anyone? ? I mean, is it spiritually ideal to be self-reliant or part of something else? Maybe just a matter of seasons...sometimes come together, sometimes stand alone. *musing aloud*

---

The symbol for infinity came to mind. I Imagine two beams of light travelling toward each other on a lemniscate track , colliding and then moving away from each other..at the same time travelling back toward each other once again. I guess that would be my spiritual ideal in love. We need time with ourselves most importantly so we can be honest. Honesty is the grit and spice of life lol. Through honesty we can build Jacob's ladder. We need both autonomy and connection.

These days you might hear me sound very cold talking about how the other person is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves and how its all about that relationship, but that's my focus when I'm hurting and the only way to pull out of the hurt and start forward motion is to take a lesson...but we need each other for sharing all the good things in life- I know I love it, but the way I was created, I need to see and hear and feel you, my reflection, loving it too

posted December 26, 2016 04:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by colorful butterfly:
I first have to go threw it. By the time I am older I will have much wisdom and supposedly already blessed with a lot of spiritual wisdom.

---

posted December 26, 2016 09:20 PM            

I'm emailing Randall asking him to do our email exchange. webmaster@linda-goodman.com

If you email him, too, we can talk!

@GrandFireT

Thanks so much!

I shopped around and decided this one probably fits my marriage best...or it did for the first several years, I guess:

quote:

---

"It may sometimes happen, especially with the conjunction, that Venus has a great deal to learn from Saturn and when Venus is attracted to an older person, his greater experience may be the means of steadying the emotional responses of Venus and helping her to develop a sound all-round sense of values"

---

@v2t

Beautiful writing.

quote:

---

....but we need each other for sharing all the good things in life

---

But...is there more? Like catalyst and substrate? Chemical reactions, alchemical reactions, becoming more of ourselves through other people?

Hmmmmm