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Author Topic:   Love Triangle - Who is the Better Choice? (Composites)
margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi all,

My friend has found herself in the midst of a "love triangle" and is legitimately torn as to who she should choose.

Long story short...her current boyfriend of 5+ years is dragging his feet in making a marriage commitment to her (which she wants) due to his own personal issues that she puts up with (he is a very eccentric and odd fellow). They both really do love each other though and will not give up on each other easily, she just has moments where she feels like she's not completely satisfied.

Enter this new man who completely sweeps her off her feet - who is completely romantic and says all the right things and she is suddenly conflicted. She did have intimate relations with this man outside of her relationship which took things to another level of complication. She was honest with her boyfriend about what happened and he is trying to forgive her but she still continues to talk to this new man who will not give up and so the whole situation is very muddy. She claims she will not leave her boyfriend and still loves him but I don't think she will easily forget the new man.

I think I can see how each composite applies to each situation but I'm curious to know without revealing who is who if you can see it too.

Also, who would be a better match for her ultimately? Should she persevere with her current boyfriend or start over new?

All TOB's are accurate.

Edit for clarification - this is the new man:

Edit for clarification - this is the boyfriend:

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comdoc
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posted January 04, 2017 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comdoc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Second chart wins by a wide margin. Could you post the synastry overlays and identify her on both?

quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
Hi all,

My friend has found herself in the midst of a "love triangle" and is legitimately torn as to who she should choose.

Long story short...her current boyfriend of 5+ years is dragging his feet in making a marriage commitment to her (which she wants) due to his own personal issues that she puts up with (he is a very eccentric and odd fellow). They both really do love each other though and will not give up on each other easily, she just has moments where she feels like she's not completely satisfied.

Enter this new man who completely sweeps her off her feet - who is completely romantic and says all the right things and she is suddenly conflicted. She did have intimate relations with this man outside of her relationship which took things to another level of complication. She was honest with her boyfriend about what happened and he is trying to forgive her but she still continues to talk to this new man who will not give up and so the whole situation is very muddy. She claims she will not leave her boyfriend and still loves him but I don't think she will easily forget the new man.

I think I can see how each composite applies to each situation but I'm curious to know without revealing who is who if you can see it too.

Also, who would be a better match for her ultimately? Should she persevere with her current boyfriend or start over new?

All TOB's are accurate.


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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can see why the first one is compelling; the Sun Neptune conjunction in composite makes it seem like even a ridiculously impractical and unlikely match is so beautiful and heaven-sent, and the thing is that this is kind of true; it is really beautiful... it IS heaven sent... there is genuine love and compassion between these two... it is just not always likely to manifest as a satisfying, solid, long term relationship this life time. Sometimes it is! If a relationship forms it would be very hard to give up that other worldly sense of unconditional love and support... And I can't say that for sure with this one, or any one, what is "better" or what to choose. The natals matter a lot.

The first one does have the Moon semisquare Venus and Jupiter aspecting Saturn... these pairs have turned up so often in the charts of long term loving partners that I always look for them. It's just that here the contacts are sort of stressful and requiring constant adjustment... but that could be ok...

I think there's a significant amount of difficulty in both relationships and also a lot of good and I feel for your friend and what she's going through.

The second chart looks really dynamic and kind of a wild ride to me.. good flow and rapport between them... I can't go into it in detail right now, sorry... but yeah Chiron-North Node in a yod and Sun on the Midheaven forming the t square with Uranus etc... really intense really transformative really exciting and visible! Good communication, all kinds of good things. Chiron NN in composite or natal usually means the person or couple will have a definite effect on the world around them sometimes in a very painful revelatory way... so I've noticed...

you didn't say but I'm just guessing the first one is the boyfriend and the second one is the new man...

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You've got the orbs set really wide I'm noticing.. Tis making it kind of hard to read the chart right but it's an interesting experience to see those wide trines...

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so far to comdoc and yungang!

comdoc, you are right, the 2nd one is her boyfriend. I will post their synastries shortly.

yungang, I love your readings! It sounds very much like what she is experiencing with both men, and your interpretation of the first chart (the new man) as being romantic and heaven-sent is exactly why she wound up entangled in the first place. The Sun-Neptune conjunction in the first chart caught my eye and is exactly how/why I thought it happened, being that it adds such an other-wordly vibe. You are right in saying the 2nd chart is dynamic and a wild ride. That's exactly how she would describe her relationship with him too!

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would not be too quick to run from person A to be with person B either if I had my wits about me and was equipped with this astrological information, personally. the way it is... Venus-Neptune square is really the tightest Venus aspect in that second one whereas the wide Sun Venus conjunction is something I've seen in a lot of long term and marginally happy relationships. The wideness of the orb really does tell a tale sometimes.

progressions are gonna tell a more complete story of course.

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:

Chiron NN in composite or natal usually means the person or couple will have a definite effect on the world around them sometimes in a very painful revelatory way... so I've noticed...

Can you expand on this a little bit?

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
I would not be too quick to run from person A to be with person B either if I had my wits about me and was equipped with this astrological information, personally. the way it is... Venus-Neptune square is really the tightest Venus aspect in that second one whereas the wide Sun Venus conjunction is something I've seen in a lot of long term and marginally happy relationships. The wideness of the orb really does tell a tale sometimes.

progressions are gonna tell a more complete story of course.


It's the other way around actually!

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Synastries:


With her boyfriend (she is inside):


With the new man (she is inside):

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heh yeah I see that now.

Weeell... I guess then I would not be certain that person B was better than the other! I have serious bias according to the actual situation at hand so I admit I would have to revise my stance.

it takes a lot for a Sun-Neptune conjunction in composite to get off the ground and stay there which was why I was saying if this relationship is already 5 years in I don't see why I would leave it. Personally...

but it makes some sense it's the other way around, yeah.

Hmm!!

The Chiron Node thing, it can manifest sooo many different ways. There's always some very intense learning to do and it often be speaks some amount of pain and difficulty which does lead to wisdom etc. These are really obvious things to say about Chiron...

With Chiron on the North Node in composite the couple would really need to go deep into that which is most difficult and painful for them and experience the soul cleansing wisdom that comes from that experience, and they'd probably have to do that again and again throughout the course of their relationship. This would be life changing for the people around them because the Nodes do relate to the wider community as well and how we affect the world and are affected by it. That's why I said that...

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmm yeah I like new man synastry better also.

Yeah new man had a lot going for him... understandable thar they hooked up.

I guess if she's choosing boyfriend so far she's got good reasons for that though?

I dunno he might not last if he's having trouble committing (Saturn opposition in the synastry, sketchy composite etc)... and a new person is begging at the door! That's my two cents...

I'm serious but I'm also just advising lightly as one person with one perspective... haven't looked too thoroughly at everything.

progressions again will tell us some stuff about what's most likely to transpire.

New man... Lilith Chiron above the horizon makes sense given that he is very much the other man and folks are likely to remember that. It's interesting how often we see 9th/3rd house action when there's infidelity They would develop a deep intimate very personal thing.

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Hmm yeah I like new man synastry better also.

Yeah new man had a lot going for him... understandable thar they hooked up.

I guess if she's choosing boyfriend so far she's got good reasons for that though?

I dunno he might not last if he's having trouble committing (Saturn opposition in the synastry, sketchy composite etc)... and a new person is begging at the door! That's my two cents...

I'm serious but I'm also just advising lightly as one person with one perspective... haven't looked too thoroughly at everything.

progressions again will tell us some stuff about what's most likely to transpire.

New man... Lilith Chiron above the horizon makes sense given that he is very much the other man and folks are likely to remember that. It's interesting how often we see 9th/3rd house action when there's infidelity They would develop a deep intimate very personal thing.


Thank you so much.

I guess the thing that worried me about the new man is the Sun-Neptune conjunction putting a veil over everything, and also her Moon looking unaspected but I guess the minor Moon-Venus aspect is enough?

There are also Saturn squares in the new man's synastry from his Saturn to her Sun/Moon conjunction... would that play out the same as the Saturn opposition in her boyfriend's synastry?

I guess her reason for staying with her boyfriend so far is the history they have and life they've built together. It takes a lot to take a chance on someone new and leave the familiar behind. I think she is also worried no one else will love her like he does (or claims to).

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Saturn square in synastry is more likely to commit than the opposition in my experience. The proof is in the pudding though and things manifest differently for different people obvs.

Would recommend looking at midpoints to that composite Moon and how it's aspected by the natals but the clincher for me in these cases is always the Davison

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margym0o
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posted January 04, 2017 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Saturn square in synastry is more likely to commit than the opposition in my experience. The proof is in the pudding though and things manifest differently for different people obvs.

Would recommend looking at midpoints to that composite Moon and how it's aspected by the natals but the clincher for me in these cases is always the Davison


Thank you!

In your opinion, would the new man still be worth pursuing even with the Sun-Neptune etc.?

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
She should definitely take her time.

Overall of course there are things to recommend both relationships.

In some ways of Course the dynamism of the relationship with her boyfriend, as well as its longevity thus far, is something to consider very seriously and not take for granted.

I personally balk at either/or situations...

It would be nice if she could have two meaningful romantic relationships.

I don't want to be biased either way. I can see positives in both and challenges with both. Midpoints are important... her Sun/Moon midpoint activations with each would be pretty telling...

this all makes me think of this meme though

I know it's not simple for everybody.. not for anybody.. but if everybody loves one another and wants to be together yet one doesn't want to commit absolutely etc..

I dunno

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Always worth considering...

But if she's got marriage in mind etc and her current boyfriend isn't wanting to go that route she probably needs to really consider her motives deeply. It's a big question. Fear of being alone isn't usually a good reason to stay in a partnership in my opinion although it's totally understandable... She needs maybe a retreat to be with herself only and sort out her feelings independent of either person?

As for whether she should pursue the new guy. . I really can't say that, it's her call and astrology can't answer the question. I can say what I like and I really like Moon-Ascendant conjunctions in synastry...

Something to think about is her Jupiter on his descendant is really positive and developmental but also can make him overestimate the relationship.. Jupiter can be a tricky one although mostly it's great. Just one perspective that doesn't always get heard..

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 04, 2017 09:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dp

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margym0o
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posted January 05, 2017 09:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Always worth considering...

But if she's got marriage in mind etc and her current boyfriend isn't wanting to go that route she probably needs to really consider her motives deeply. It's a big question. Fear of being alone isn't usually a good reason to stay in a partnership in my opinion although it's totally understandable... She needs maybe a retreat to be with herself only and sort out her feelings independent of either person?

As for whether she should pursue the new guy. . I really can't say that, it's her call and astrology can't answer the question. I can say what I like and I really like Moon-Ascendant conjunctions in synastry...

Something to think about is her Jupiter on his descendant is really positive and developmental but also can make him overestimate the relationship.. Jupiter can be a tricky one although mostly it's great. Just one perspective that doesn't always get heard..


Thank you! It's funny you mention that because she's brought that up before..."I wish I could have both." Unfortunately her boyfriend is not wanting to share her which I can understand!

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 05, 2017 11:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Life would be so much happier... less lateral violence and pain if we could all learn to share just a little bit better...

He would rather lose her entirely than share her?

I wish people could all agree to just enjoy life together. It's short, really...

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 05, 2017 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Post the Davisoooons

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margym0o
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posted January 05, 2017 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Davison with boyfriend:

Davison with new man:

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margym0o
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posted January 06, 2017 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump

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yungang_grotto
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posted January 06, 2017 01:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Davison with boyfriend

Sun/Moon midpoint = Venus.. nice. Funny that here it's the Moon that's "unaspected" and yet by virtue of midpoints and declination and other harmonics than are listed here it certainly isn't, you know?

What do you think, seeing these?

I feel like she puts her Sun in the 12th of the chart with the new guy and that could be challenging over the long run. At least with her Sun in the 3rd with the boyfriend she can feel seen and heard without needing to go whole hog into the intense depths and waters all the time. Depends on what she wants; her Venus in Aries is going to make sure she gets what she really likes I think so I'm not too worried either way..

interesting how even the "wide" Saturn sextile and trines in composite and Davison charts seem to be quite valid and sustaining. It might not be as compelling as the hard aspects we see in the other chart; but it is a very steady kind of energy not to be taken for granted...

The Saturn - Chiron opposition being Saturn's major deal in the Davison with new guy is a little concerning. It would be potentially very healing though. Saturn Chiron doesn't mess around. With Jupiter on the midpoint we could have an especially deep and healing relationship, transmuting pain into wisdom at a pretty pronounced level.

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margym0o
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posted January 06, 2017 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Davison with boyfriend

Sun/Moon midpoint = Venus.. nice. Funny that here it's the Moon that's "unaspected" and yet by virtue of midpoints and declination and other harmonics than are listed here it certainly isn't, you know?

What do you think, seeing these?

I feel like she puts her Sun in the 12th of the chart with the new guy and that could be challenging over the long run. At least with her Sun in the 3rd with the boyfriend she can feel seen and heard without needing to go whole hog into the intense depths and waters all the time. Depends on what she wants; her Venus in Aries is going to make sure she gets what she really likes I think so I'm not too worried either way..

interesting how even the "wide" Saturn sextile and trines in composite and Davison charts seem to be quite valid and sustaining. It might not be as compelling as the hard aspects we see in the other chart; but it is a very steady kind of energy not to be taken for granted...

The Saturn - Chiron opposition being Saturn's major deal in the Davison with new guy is a little concerning. It would be potentially very healing though. Saturn Chiron doesn't mess around. With Jupiter on the midpoint we could have an especially deep and healing relationship, transmuting pain into wisdom at a pretty pronounced level.


I'm still learning about Davison charts so it's tough to form an opinion!

Edit - I didn't know what you meant at first but now I do. I was trying to apply your interpretation to the Synastries not the Davisons. Derp

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