posted January 08, 2017 02:32 PM            

The female: RED (Tau rising)
The male: BLUE (not sure his rising sign)

Synastry

Composite

Due to both are having Libra mars, both approach problems in a passive-aggressive way. The worst trait of Libra Mars come to play and both build lots of resentment to each other due to lack of directness in words and actions. (Although the female is more opened due to her Aries sun and mercury than the male who bottle it up inside)

The female always calls me whenever they had a (passive-aggressive) fight. 2 years ago the male hit her and he made a big blue circle around her eyes. It was a shock for the female. Until then both are not happy anymore but still stay. They have two kids together.

What I've seen they start intentionally irritated each other using guilt trip and neglect both emotional needs. She starts throwing divorce tantrum at him and has been seeing other people. I don't know his, because she admits she doesn't care about his anymore so she doesn't try to find out.

posted January 08, 2017 03:07 PM            

Maybe her moon conjunct his Pluto, that's keeping them together? Plus, Mars conjunct Mars, I think they tend to act in unison and feel like even if it's crazy, they're both similarly crazy (with respect to their approach to marriage, anyway), so it just keeps going.

posted January 08, 2017 08:31 PM            

She then works to help him with her family supports. She felt used until years he doesn't do anything to improve their families life. Her family still supports their life in almost 10 years.

She wants him to process the divorce but he doesn't move at all from the home.

They fell in love intensely at first like blindly but then I have found how power play and manipulation come within time. Guilt trip, passive aggressiveness and how both try to intentionally irritate each other just to see the reaction in how they approach problems surely **** my Aries moon (although from the outside their marriage seems FINE) but who am I coming in the middle of their marriage?

posted January 08, 2017 08:43 PM            

The adults are somewhat better equipped to deal with the massive emotional drain that happens in such relationships. Kids are defenseless. Neither they nor their parents will realize the toll this has taken on them until years later, and it won't be fixable then.

I hope for their sake that the parents find an amicable solution or a separation that gives them some peace of mind.

posted January 09, 2017 01:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

If he gave her a black eye, and she threatens divorce, I don't consider that a "tantrum," I consider it smart.

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posted January 10, 2017 03:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by browncoat:

Either way, this sounds like quite a toxic environment. Both need to be accountable for this space. Pointing fingers and blaming the other for victimizing them, trying to get "even" is just a path to destruction.

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Yes. I've told her that.

To be honest I still want her to survive her marriage.

posted January 10, 2017 04:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
To be honest I still want her to survive her marriage.

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Sigh. I always struggle in this area.

On one hand I completely support the sanctity of marriage and the growth it can bring two people. I think that's the whole point. The outcome of working through the garbage reaps great rewards not found elsewhere...as it requires doing the inner work. Partners are there to simply reflect back to ourselves what we're creating.

On the other hand, it's painful to see two people in a toxic environment, and perpetuating it, who may (or may not) be better off in a different energetic space, either with someone else or even nobody.