posted January 21, 2017 12:16 PM            

There are some interesting features in our charts, but perhaps I am not keeping my orbs tight enough?

****Here is the story (for those interested, if not skip to after the asterisks):
I entered into a relationship with someone who was my friend first after leaving a pretty abusive relationship. Everything was really wonderful and natural, and we were very in love and everyone in our lives was rooting for both of us. We did everything together... we independently loved being physically active and intellectually stimulated. We constantly finished each others' sentences and could never hide our real feelings if one of us was stressed out or brooding. Literally bordered on telepathy (my south node is conjunct his mercury).

Fast forward... he receives some bad news regarding his health, gets blackout drunk, and sleeps with a stranger. Calls me right away and tells me, tries to break it off "because I deserve better". But he was very devastated and even though I was in shock, I really wanted to work through it because frankly, we are just too happy together to throw it away. We took steps to recover and I thought things were going well. We moved across the country and back. He got a new job with a hospital a few months after, started acting weird...I called him out and figured it was just the stress of all the life changes.

A few months after that, he breaks up with me, tells me he cheated again. He said it was some girl he knew from high school, but I'm 90% sure he was having a fling with someone at the new job. He offered almost no details or closure because "it didn't matter, I was only going to torture myself" It's been 6 months since the breakup, and he is being incredibly awful and mean. My hair is falling out, I've lost weight, can't eat or sleep right. I really miss my best friend.
****
I've uploaded our synastry, progressed composite, and Davison charts here: http://imgur.com/a/EUSqD

At the time he ended things, S. Node was transiting my Juno...

Currently, Pluto is transiting his N. Node. The conjunction literally started applying days after he first kissed me. Things ended a year and a half later, smack in the middle of the transit (if 1 degree applying, 1 exact, 1 separating).

His Pluto is in 11th house Scorpio, and I've felt that even though his friends were always nice to me, they drank way too much, and even he said he didn't like partying, but he'd go along because he still wanted time with his friends. His final decision to end things was because his friend gave him this advice: "One time I was dating two guys at once. It wasn't fair to either of them, so I broke it off." I asked how this applied to him unless he was two-timing me, but he swore there wasn't another girl, he just had no idea who he was and needed time. (I am calling BS).

Is cheating just his character flaw, or will this subside once Pluto stops manhandling his North Node? Is Pluto even the problem?

I keep hoping he will mature, due to his Capricorn N. Node. Something about this seems very, very fated.

If it means anything, my natal Part of Marriage is conjunct his natal Sun/Moon midpoint at 15 Libra. My 2017/2018 Solar Return is at 15 Libra, with Jupiter right on the AC.
We were planning for a wedding and our future. In fact, he brought it up first.
According to Cosmitec, his marriage parter should be Uranian (I'm in cybersecurity/forensics occupation), and mine should be Mercurial (He is in nursing/medical occupation). We met at work...my Juno is in 9th house Virgo, and we ARE health nuts...He is also very spiritual, and he encouraged me to go back to school (I even transferred to his school... just in time for him to break things off).

I wonder if these other things are of any significance, and might help pull us through:

-Our name asteroids are conjunct in his natal chart, near MC (his name asteroid is conjunct my IC)
-Eros and Psyche conjunct in Davison
-His Adam conjunct my Eve in the synastry chart (He is Christian, so I was curious)
-Chiron. Chiron is all up in here, for you Magi people.
-My 29 Vesta is conjunct his moon. When I saw this, I instantly recalled a memory when he said "I want to keep your fire alive" in regards to my family issues constantly "putting me out" and stifling me. (TMI alert: The sex was awesome. Shared climaxes almost always.)

-Not shown, but his Amor is in his 3rd house Pisces.... looking for love where there's alcohol??

In spite of lacking ideal luminary aspects, our bond was very empathic and for the most part we were very tender towards each other. I don't understand why he would throw what he had away. My gut tells me he's very afraid of intimacy and the emotional intensity of our connection. I've considered twin flame running/chasing, but I think we are lacking twin flame aspects. Although, I can't seem to ignore the repeating numbers in the times of our Davison chart...

posted January 23, 2017 12:16 AM            

I've never seen this before: sun conjunct sun, angles conjunct angles, Vertex conjunct Vertex. AND you both have Venus conjunct Mars. No wonder you two are so close. Is it karmic?? It's strange.

His Pluto square your Venus could explain some of your attachment despite his cheating and meanness; Venus can be (forgive me) a little unreasonable under Pluto's spell. Not saying you are being unreasonable, but that is the far extreme of how it can play out: as pure, raw, obsession. Very hard to shake, like a flu, only it's mental-emotional.

Your fixed Aqua moon, his mutable Sag moon. You stay constant and he changes a lot. It's so hard for Aquas to hang onto Sags, I don't know why. Sags seem to really love Aquas, but then it just doesn't last. Gosh I'm just marveling at how many times I have seen this pattern.

Tr Pluto on his NN, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her with tr Pluto on his Cap NN, saying the same type of thing. "You deserve better" etc etc. She moved on. He came back after he was finished with that transit. I know this isn't a substantial reading at all so far, I'm just telling stories.

I'd love to see the regular composite but you must have your reasons for selecting these other charts. Davison looks lovely with the sun-Jupiter on the ASC, but what do you make of Mars and Juno forming a grand cross with the nodes? Challenging. Could also be worth it, and spur you to action to be together, I don't know.

Pr composite has moon conjunct Saturn in the first house, reflecting sobriety at this time, like that is the first thing (first house) to notice about what's going on here.

The pr comp sun isn't strongly aspected now; there is only the semisextile to Chiron, which could go either way, and maybe both ways at once (just depends on what we focus on.) Pr comp sun about to enter that dark 8H. In a few months the pr comp moon will be quincunx the sun; I wonder if that would be a good time to try and re-open lines of communication? (Or open them wider, if you still talk.)

But if he's being incredibly awful and mean...he is communicating that he needs his space and you can't expect anything from him now. (Sorry to be so blunt, but my Saturn is conjunct your suns.) If it were me I would cease all activity, work on disengaging on every level, and depending on the circumstances, consider looking at pr composites for upcoming years. If you want to keep some hope alive maybe there will be things you see there, to look forward to.

He may very well come back to you, you know. But guys...they have their own weird timing (no offense to any men reading!)

Take good care of yourself, you need your hair!! And even more, your happiness!

posted January 23, 2017 10:38 AM            

Juno+Pluto... transformation through the commitment, perhaps?? It's in the other charts, as well... I guess I was hoping our relationship would help us both achieve the highest expression of ourselves, thus the mars/juno/node action. I'm an amateur as well, so this stuff makes me feel like I can't find my ass with two hands sometimes.

I wish I could just amputate my feelings for him. This has been very good for me in plenty of other ways (the solitude has even caused my intuitive ability to skyrocket!), but I still really thought I deserved the truth from him, or at least closure. The last full moon in Cancer hit my 7th house, and since then I really have felt the emotional scar tissue start to develop.

It's just...he's in my dreams every. damn. night. I NEVER used to be one to self-medicate, but the THC in a little nightcap keeps me from dreaming, which is something I used to love but don't even want to do anymore after this.

I was slightly worried about his Sag Moon and Virgo Venus ("I'm not good enough") at first, but I think other facets of our relationship overpowered that. He is veeeery picky... I am actually his first long-term, serious relationship, and he's 25 (I am 27). He has broken up with girls for far less, and usually because they never enjoyed doing the same things as him (working out, backpacking, eating healthy, etc). We were constantly learning together, or teaching each other. He is phenomenal at cooking, and I introduced him to plants and gardening and he got really, really into it. We'd go swing dancing every week. Actually, I am slightly more boyish for a girl, and he is kind of feminine for a guy...like, he'd be making us dinner while I sit on my butt and play videogames. I thought it was just harmony, but maybe it was just too good to be true.

The bad news regarding his health was... he found out he had an STD (that Virgo Venus of his went mental, right?). I've had the Gardasil vaccine for years and I still regularly got tested, so we knew I had nothing to do with it, and he was sure he knew which girl he likely caught it from, because he honestly never had many encounters.

It wasn't a deal breaker for me... I have a good friend with an STD and she happily married last year. People make it work.

But I think because of his Christian upbringing, he felt horrible about himself. Nothing I could say or do was going to help. I think he stopped loving himself and panicked, and after he cheated, he looked at me and only saw guilt instead of love, even if I did everything in my power to bolster his self-esteem. His family and friends were all shocked because this was not like him at all. He was so awkward, but romantic, and had even wanted to save himself for marriage (this had a bad ending that I'm sure affected his attitude towards love...his friends even said he changed after he lost his virginity *cough cough* Virgo Venus *cough*).

That's why I'm suspecting Pluto/N.Node... I don't know where I'll be in another year when the transit ends, but we will still both be attending the same school. But he definitely kept saying "I don't know who I am, I didn't know I could be this way, I hate myself".

Honestly, we had not even talked after the breakup (July) until December, when my friend went rogue and reached out to him. He told her a bunch of really horrible things (and I mean, he HAD to know she would tell me everything...was I being manipulated?) and after that I contacted him basically saying "Look, I get you hate me and are unhappy or whatever, but that's no reason to be saying a bunch of untrue crap to my best friend." and it ended with him saying that dating me was the biggest mistake of his life, he didn't love me, and didn't want a life with me, he was going to block my number,etc....but I got a pocket dial with a minute long voicemail days later (why did he still have my number if he hated me so much?).

I've fallen out of love with two guys, and I know the symptoms. He never acted like he "fell out of love" (he said this is what happened at the end of last May/June...which is right around the time he claimed to have cheated the second time). He still called me every night on his way home from work, always held my hand, the cuddling never got irritating, the sex never fizzled. He had a different reason for ending things every time we talked, but I can confidently say I would've felt it if he didn't love me anymore, so I know that's not the reason. But he can have all the space he wants to be stupid far, far away from me, until he's ready to apologize. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with ANYBODY, and I know he didn't love those other girls, so my ego isn't too hurt (but still !!).

posted January 23, 2017 11:52 AM            

From a human perspective (astrology aside) I can see how this would be devastating for you. Been there, done that. When you get your heart crushed like this I think it is human nature to be desperately seeking an answer to something that makes no sense. It almost feels like losing a leg or an arm, cut off and now you're trying to re-learn how to function without it. I hope astrology brings you some comfort but it might not be able to explain what you are going through or accurately predict the outcome.

To me, it sounds like he is still very immature and has some major soul-searching to do. Perhaps you felt your love differently than he did. Or maybe he is taking/has took your connection for granted and will likely regret what has happened when he realizes it's not so easy to find what you had.

It reads like a classic heartbreak. Woman with a heart that is kind and true gets blind sighted by a man who doesn't know the value of what's in front of him. No offense, but it sounds like his STD discovery and his subsequent "despair" is just an excuse for not wanting to keep it in his pants. Why would someone who contracted an STD act out by sleeping with random people outside of his relationship not once, but multiple times? You'd think he would be so scared he'd think twice. I'd of kicked him in the you-know-what for being such a fool - "Oh, I'm sad about my health situation, let me sleep with someone else to feel better." What? You are a strong soul for having real sympathy for him under these circumstances.

I think his cruel behaviour post-break up speaks to his immaturity as well, because a real man would make a clean break and respect your mourning process instead of lashing out at you. This tells me he really doesn't know how to deal with his feelings, and so instead of handling it with grace he is pushing you away while convincing himself it's not meant to be.

posted January 23, 2017 12:19 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:

Your fixed Aqua moon, his mutable Sag moon. You stay constant and he changes a lot. It's so hard for Aquas to hang onto Sags, I don't know why. Sags seem to really love Aquas, but then it just doesn't last. Gosh I'm just marveling at how many times I have seen this pattern.

---

Not to generalize or anything, but I'm an Aqua moon and Sag moons have always been this way with me.
:edit: not important.

posted January 23, 2017 12:27 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by PangolinParty:

I wish I could just amputate my feelings for him. This has been very good for me in plenty of other ways (the solitude has even caused my intuitive ability to skyrocket!), but I still really thought I deserved the truth from him, or at least closure. The last full moon in Cancer hit my 7th house, and since then I really have felt the emotional scar tissue start to develop.

It's just...he's in my dreams every. damn. night. I NEVER used to be one to self-medicate, but the THC in a little nightcap keeps me from dreaming, which is something I used to love but don't even want to do anymore after this.

---

posted January 23, 2017 01:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by margym0o:
Can you re-post the composite and remove "aspects lines to all"? It will make it a little clearer to read

---

Here you are

A lot of people are very adamant about the aqu. moon/sag. moon situation, but is there anything RIGHT about our relationship...? I was hoping a twin flame expert could chime in and say whether this is textbook behavior or not.

I thought the AC ruler in the 7th house would've been a great start. My own 7th house Chiron (and probably s. node Venus conj.) is definitely playing out...I've obviously been forced to live my nightmare of abandonment. Would it help if I posted our natal charts separately?

He is certainly behaving immaturely, and it's a good thing we are currently apart to spare me becoming even more collaterally damaged while he's busy circling the drain. I'm loving myself to the best of my ability and have managed not to sabotage work or school, which is something I definitely would've done in the past.

People do really weird things when they are mad at themselves (combined with binge drinking...most vedic and numerology reports I've calculated always seem to mention that he needs to avoid alcohol...), I can attest to that. I used to be self-destructive/loathing in my own way, back when I was a teenager and all that.

Especially with his virgo-duality, I can see him having all sorts of hang-ups about having the desire to do dirty things while being raised Christian and having a Sag. moon.

Since I was his first real relationship, I honestly think he just lacks the communication skills and couldn't articulate his emotions very well (he couldn't even do that when were started out as friends. He's just very private.). I mean, no one is born with those tools, and how else is he supposed to learn? He's just too busy hating himself to think about anything else. But I shouldn't have to take the heat, and I know that.

posted January 23, 2017 03:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PangolinParty:
Here you are

A lot of people are very adamant about the aqu. moon/sag. moon situation, but is there anything RIGHT about our relationship...? I was hoping a twin flame expert could chime in and say whether this is textbook behavior or not.

I thought the AC ruler in the 7th house would've been a great start. My own 7th house Chiron (and probably s. node Venus conj.) is definitely playing out...I've obviously been forced to live my nightmare of abandonment. Would it help if I posted our natal charts separately?

He is certainly behaving immaturely, and it's a good thing we are currently apart to spare me becoming even more collaterally damaged while he's busy circling the drain. I'm loving myself to the best of my ability and have managed not to sabotage work or school, which is something I definitely would've done in the past.

People do really weird things when they are mad at themselves (combined with binge drinking...most vedic and numerology reports I've calculated always seem to mention that he needs to avoid alcohol...), I can attest to that. I used to be self-destructive/loathing in my own way, back when I was a teenager and all that.

Especially with his virgo-duality, I can see him having all sorts of hang-ups about having the desire to do dirty things while being raised Christian and having a Sag. moon.

Since I was his first real relationship, I honestly think he just lacks the communication skills and couldn't articulate his emotions very well (he couldn't even do that when were started out as friends. He's just very private.). I mean, no one is born with those tools, and how else is he supposed to learn? He's just too busy hating himself to think about anything else. But I shouldn't have to take the heat, and I know that.

Clearly he's predisposed, but what I'm looking for here are trends...even in my Venus return, I suffered a N.Node return (AND juno/juno conj.) at the time of the breakup. Is there any way to decipher the karma? What extra information would I need to cast in my Solar Return to see if he comes around??

---

I meant "aspects lines to all" as in there is a feature that lets you chose to have aspects lines to all asteroids and angles instead of just the regular planets (and chiron). The aspects lines to the regular planets and chiron would be helpful!

posted January 23, 2017 04:57 PM            

Also, your venus receives in helio natal squares from Chiron and Saturn.

I d say you are both love wounded souls that have come to hurt and heal each other... first hurt and then maybe heal. With this Chiron/Saturn squares to your venus you seem to be more hurt than him, so he might have come to teach you to heal your wounds and get stronger. Only time helps here, not necessarily being physically together with him. He kicks your development, he puts a mirror in front of you. Im sure you are mirror souls. You (both) need to heal and become stronger and reconnect to your inner power.

posted January 23, 2017 06:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by margym0o:
I meant "aspects lines to all" as in there is a feature that lets you chose to have aspects lines to all asteroids and angles instead of just the regular planets (and chiron). The aspects lines to the regular planets and chiron would be helpful!

The question is... even if he were to come back around, would you want him back, after everything he's done? Wouldn't you live with the constant little voice in your head wondering if he could ever be truly faithful and honest to you going forward after all of this?

---

I'm sorry! I thought you were asking to remove the aspect lines. I thought the composite chart I did post had aspects to Chiron?? Are there any other asteroids you would like me to add and then recast?

-We were exclusive for a year and a half. I met him at work on March 25, 2013, but I was with somebody else at the time.
-He kissed me on January 4th, 2015.
-We made things official March 20th 2015. We woke up in the morning and had the talk. (There was a new moon in Aries that day, I noticed later.)
-He cheated the first time on Halloween 2015, literally later the same day he went to the Dr. and learned about the STD.
-He broke up with me on July 27th 2016.

posted January 23, 2017 07:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by jjj:
His Chiron is parallel your Venus in geo synastry and his Venus opposes your Chiron in helio synastry. Chiron-Venus are Magi astrology true love aspects and Chiron-Venus is the first thing I check in such case.

Also, your venus receives in helio natal squares from Chiron and Saturn.

I d say you are both love wounded souls that have come to hurt and heal each other... first hurt and then maybe heal. With this Chiron/Saturn squares to your venus you seem to be more hurt than him, so he might have come to teach you to heal your wounds and get stronger. Only time helps here, not necessarily being physically together with him. He kicks your development, he puts a mirror in front of you. Im sure you are mirror souls. You (both) need to heal and become stronger and reconnect to your inner power.

All this Im saying from my experience, I m on the same trip.

---

JJJ...please tell me more. I know very, very little about heliocentric astrology, and I'm obviously not a Magi member and don't have access to everything on the site. But it is very interesting to me.

I do agree with you... It feels so much like we are meant to confront our baggage and then come back together when we have gained control over ourselves. We fed off of each other energetically, but we didn't recognize this and therefore developed no strategies for coping with any negativity. I swear I can't tell if it's his pain I feel, or mine. I'll be in the middle of homework, or doing dishes, and I'll get hit with these waves of agony that are over with in minutes. I've never experienced anything like that in my life... I know if those were really my feelings, they would stick around a lot longer. Maybe I'm crazy.

I didn't learn about twin flames (is that like mirror souls?) until this past October...but everything seems so spot on. The crisis, the running, the chasing...but there is never a guarantee of union. This whole situation has caused me to learn so much about these things and given the solitude, I can learn to properly care for my own energy, so I can see why the separation was necessary for things to be better later on.

Please tell me more about your experience.... maybe we can help each other!

posted January 23, 2017 09:35 PM            

quote:

---

It's just...he's in my dreams every. damn. night.

---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZtG8Nv_L-E

K,

Thanks for explaining, it's interesting to hear what people go through...and I feel badly for him, about the STD. Must be especially hard for Virgo Mars.

Your composite reminds me of the one I have with my ex, with sun stellium opposing moon stellium, with some of the same planets...though I forget this particular ex, on purpose, and don't recall the chart too clearly, either. Mindful Forgetfulness. Ripped my heart out for a little while there.

The sun-Vertex conjunction in the 8th house intrigues me; I wonder if that accounts for some of the telepathy, or feeling that you just don't know whose feelings are whose.

Jupiter, ruler of the composite chart, is conjunct Chiron in the 7H, and if this situation doesn't turn around, that may be like the signature to the whole relationship, in retrospect? Huge pain. But if you can get over that, you have won yourself some real jewels: the tools to self-recovery and self-healing. Maybe you would even thank him for playing that role in your life, if you keep going in separate directions.

The composite nodal axis kind of bugs me, because it doesn't hit anything. His sun is on the SN...perhaps that has been a problem? The feeling that it holds him back somehow? But his Saturn is on that NN. I wonder what that means. Saturn prolongs. NN is destiny. Is he blocking it or dragging it out??

quote:

---

I contacted him basically saying "Look, I get you hate me and are unhappy or whatever, but that's no reason to be saying a bunch of untrue crap to my best friend." and it ended with him saying that dating me was the biggest mistake of his life, he didn't love me, and didn't want a life with me, he was going to block my number,etc....but I got a pocket dial with a minute long voicemail days later (why did he still have my number if he hated me so much?).

---

One more song:

Why does love always feel like a battlefield?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll1HVHEPQq4&feature=youtu.be

posted January 23, 2017 10:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Elysia:
Not to generalize or anything, but I'm an Aqua moon and Sag moons have always been this way with me.
:edit: not important.

---

My best friend is an Aqua moon and the guy I mentioned here, who broke up with her when tr Pluto was on his NN, is a Sag moon.

One of only two guys who REALLY got to her. :-/

posted January 24, 2017 08:46 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
My best friend is an Aqua moon and the guy I mentioned here, who broke up with her when tr Pluto was on his NN, is a Sag moon.

One of only two guys who REALLY got to her. :-/

ETA: sorry to go off topic a bit.

---

I was wondering about the Jupiter/Chiron thing as well. I'm interested in your friend's situation, because everything I read about natives with Capricorn NN make the point that this person's life is going to be about maturing, and they will resist it for as long as they can, like a kid going "I don't want to grow up" and running away.

What became of the guy who went through the transit? Was he very upset when your friend wouldn't take him back?

JJJ seems to think my situation is twin flame/mirror soul material. If that's the case, we may be reuniting and separating over and over again until we can let go of all the fear, hurt, and mistrust. This is relevant because I am thinking my job now is to learn to connect to and have 100% faith in my intuitive guidance... In the past, I must've jinxed myself by saying "every guy is a cheater" or "every guy is going to leave me"...because I mean, they DID, and I thought I was just over here stating facts, not even trying to be down on myself. And it's strange because I was in a pretty good place emotionally when I met some of them...but if you have those unconscious beliefs, I suppose it doesn't matter.

The one ex I mentioned (who was totally abusive... like threatened to blackmail me, kicked the dog, twisted my arm, etc) was incredibly toxic and it was SOOO difficult to leave the relationship because of how isolated he had me. We also had a yod in our composite chart, although I can't remember the exact configuration. But when I found the balls to really leave forever, AW came back into my life almost immediately. He hated my ex and swore I never had to worry about that again. So.... when it happened... I'm sure you can imagine. I never had psoriasis (nor did anyone in my family) but after he cheated, I was covered in it. It's showing up on my eyelids now.

Like I was telling Margym0o, it would be so easy to generalize and lump him in with the other guys who did me wrong, but there is something so palpable about our connection and I cannot ignore it. It feels so much like a test of faith. Unfortunately, from what I've read about twin souls, it never goes away...it's not a cord you can cut like with other people, because in a way, we're the same person. My problem is that I'm here trying to find hard astrological evidence for such a situation, but if I'm sitting around following the scientific method to solve my problem, that's the opposite of having faith and trusting my gut instinct.

But I feel like I can't afford to be wrong and it's very very scary. Obviously I can live without AW, because..well... I am. I'm a pretty happy person and I've got a lot going for me right now. But holy crap...I feel like I can't hide what I went through because it's showing up physically in the psoriasis, the hair loss, the weight loss, etc.

Of course I'm scared that we'll reunite and it'll happen again. Of course I am. I don't think I could survive it. But perhaps that's what this is...some sort of flame that tempers steel. I don't think it's enough for only one of us to be strong, though. I know it doesn't belong in this particular forum, but I bought some oracle cards that I've been pulling every so many days and ALL of them mention purification, transformation, ascension, etc through a difficult process. I'll be honest, I was never a person of faith. AW kept saying we would never work because our families were so different...but different backgrounds is a hallmark challenge of twin souls.

posted January 24, 2017 09:43 AM            

A quick look at your natals shows that you have quite similar charts (and thus challenges) - you both move towards saturn-ruled north nodes (Cappy NN learning to be rational and mature and Aqua NN (mine is in the same degree as yours) learning drama-free, detached, community-based interaction with other individuals), thus you both are moving towards universal. But you both have personal planets in leo that point to ego-based, me-me, drama-loving, passionate attitude (as a Leo SN it is all very familiar to me too). So you both will face lots of challenges to integrate (and leave aside) this Leo attitude to move towards your north nodes. This will take decades... Also, Aqua-Leo axis has love karma, it means moving from heart-based love (leo) towards head-based love (aqua), from passionate to rational. I have a stellium in Scorpio, so I know all about this struggle.

Also, you both have populated first and eight houses (both Mars-ruled houses). Its like adding fuel to your personal leo stelliums. Drama, passion, strong feelings, sexual passions is all natural for you both. And now you both move towards the dispassionate, calm, organized north nodes of yours... So there is inherent challenge in both your natals.

Synastry-wise I dont see problematic neptune or pluto interaspects that would point to cheating etc, your synastry is nice and so is the composite. There are many good aspects.

As I pointed out, you have Saturn-Chiron affacting your venus in helio (I dont know much about helio charts, but as Magi uses them I alway check helio natals). Aw has in normal (geo) natal Chiron and Saturn challenging his sun (this is his wound) and - your suns being conjunct - his Saturn and Chiron challenge your sun as well. Also in compo you have Saturn-Chiron aspects to your compo sun.

To me it means that you are both Saturn-Chiron wounded (your venus, his sun). It means a core wound, basically a deep feeling "Im not good enough". This feeling can be so well hidden, that we dont even realize that we project it to others and are devored by it every day.

As your charts and challenges are so similar, it looks to me that you are mirrors (so kind of twinish) that have come together to learn the same lesson, to get rid of this "Im not good enough, I dont deserve to be loved" inner code.

The key is to understand that you have to work on yourself, then your growth will be reflected in the persons you have the bond with. Often it means having relationships with others (not your mirror) that help you grow. So the way to AW might be not the direct one, but with turns and twists, through other loves and experiences. Or maybe at the end you will see that he was just a stage... all is possible.

This is one of the best stuff Ive read (dont pay attention to labels like twinflames etc):

https://plus.google.com/103577306497564351635/posts/BESnvwzU1Rf

posted January 24, 2017 09:52 AM            

I love how you write, and I admire how you are handling everything.

posted January 24, 2017 09:53 AM              

About the changeability. my brother has that Sag Moon along with Sun and ASC in Pisces, but he is not really all that changeable to be honest. It`s true usually it is him ending relationships (though he has not have that many "known ones"), but seems this only really happens if he feels the friendship and respect and some sort of admiration has gone missing (and that I can relate to well).

Well he`s been with his current partner for 10 years, so I`d call that quite steady for someone in his early thirties.

Of course she has not an Aquua Moon but a Virgo-Moon.

posted January 24, 2017 10:04 AM              

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Originally posted by Faith:
My best friend is an Aqua moon and the guy I mentioned here, who broke up with her when tr Pluto was on his NN, is a Sag moon.

One of only two guys who REALLY got to her. :-/

ETA: sorry to go off topic a bit.

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I feel ya.

posted January 24, 2017 10:10 AM              

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Originally posted by Faith:
@jjj - Brilliant analysis.

@Ceri - Oh, you're another one! For the record, I wasn't thinking of you when I said "It never seems to work out." But I WAS thinking of P and Sabrina...and some other cases. Not just Aqua moons but Aqua and Sag luminaries, together.

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Yeah..
They get along like a house on fire. At first.

Depends on the people in question. Esp the Sag moon. There's a lot more projection going on in that moon than one might think. There's this quality, about the way they handle conflicts (or anything unpleasant) - that I'm not able to put my finger on right now - that's when things start to go downhill.

posted January 24, 2017 10:12 AM              

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:

It really does feel like I've died and I'm not even the same person anymore, like a door has been shut and I literally cannot go back that way anymore. Are there any astrological indicators of this kind of process?? I feel like it would be a once in a lifetime thing. I know I have an 8th house stellium...but damn.

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Absolutely. That is what's happening. Don't be scared of it, though. Embrace it. Every once in a while, you'll go through a painful "metamorphosis" - and emerge stronger out the other side. :*

posted January 24, 2017 10:29 AM            

Just have to say what I should have said first, before I answered your question about my friend. I'm sorry you ever had to endure an abusive relationship.

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:
Like I was telling Margym0o, it would be so easy to generalize and lump him in with the other guys who did me wrong, but there is something so palpable about our connection and I cannot ignore it. It feels so much like a test of faith. Unfortunately, from what I've read about twin souls, it never goes away...it's not a cord you can cut like with other people, because in a way, we're the same person.

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I understand....

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:
My problem is that I'm here trying to find hard astrological evidence for such a situation, but if I'm sitting around following the scientific method to solve my problem, that's the opposite of having faith and trusting my gut instinct.

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Yes and also please be mindful that you need to heal, and if Twin Flame rhetoric convinces you that you need to keep something that is no longer serving your emotional needs, than that rhetoric might be best ignored.

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:
Of course I'm scared that we'll reunite and it'll happen again. Of course I am. I don't think I could survive it. But perhaps that's what this is...some sort of flame that tempers steel.

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That's a good way of putting it!

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:
I don't think it's enough for only one of us to be strong, though. I know it doesn't belong in this particular forum, but I bought some oracle cards that I've been pulling every so many days and ALL of them mention purification, transformation, ascension, etc through a difficult process. I'll be honest, I was never a person of faith.

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It will work out for you because you are strong and intent on making it work for you, whether you two end up together or not.

quote:

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Originally posted by PangolinParty:
It really does feel like I've died and I'm not even the same person anymore, like a door has been shut and I literally cannot go back that way anymore. Are there any astrological indicators of this kind of process?? I feel like it would be a once in a lifetime thing. I know I have an 8th house stellium...but damn.

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8H stellium is more than enough to account for it.

I have said that before about myself: "I feel like I'm living a post-life life."

Not just because of him, but because my first 20 years were so radically different from the next 20 years. I have a Scorpio NN trine 8H moon.

One more question: Have you looked at draconic connections with him? Any conjunctions between your natals and draconic charts?