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Author Topic:   Chiron in synastry: worth it??
sashavittoria
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posted February 04, 2017 02:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've read that "wounded healer" Chiron aspects will more or less rake you through the coals but that it's worth it to learn what you need to. Has anyone experienced aspects to their Chiron in synastry and if so: do you think it's worth it??

I ask because I'm at the start of a relationship with someone who makes three tight (0-1 degree) aspects to my Chiron (Leo, 2nd house) - his Saturn and Jupiter square my Chiron, and his Mars trines my Chiron.

But I know it's hard to isolate just one type of aspect. To be clear, he is 22 years older than me, his girlfriend just kicked him out because of our friendship (we hadn't even slept together yet), and there are also a lot of tight Lilith, Pluto, Saturn, and North Node (two his, one mine) aspects. Lilith-Pluto double whammy, actually. It all feels very karmic and self-destructive but unstoppable at the same time.

Also, just want to say that I've been looking to this forum for guidance for years and I'm very grateful for everyone sharing their experiences. I've never felt knowledgeable/experienced enough myself to contribute anything worthwhile, but I'm starting to gain more confidence in my astrology knowledge thanks in large part to all of you!

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Sun - Taurus // Moon - Aries // ASC - Cancer // Mercury - Aries // Venus - Taurus // Mars - Pisces

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Randall
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posted February 05, 2017 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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sashavittoria
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posted February 07, 2017 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ahh thanks Randall! I guess no one has much experience with aspects to their Chiron in synastry?? Ha, I guess that's a good thing!

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yungang_grotto
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posted February 07, 2017 04:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yungang_grotto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nah

Find the light and the love as soon and as often as you can, I say! Chiron can help us expose what needs healing anyway. The wounds Chiron represents have been there a long time. In this way it is worth it.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 07, 2017 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I, personally, will not violate certain Chiron aspects in synastry. By violate, I mean not "respect" the power of them. One is Chiron conj the NN. I think this will, always, play out in a painful relationship, especially if the aspect is close, fewer than 5 degrees.

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PangolinParty
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posted February 08, 2017 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PangolinParty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'd say it depends on the nature of the aspects, but...I had many Chiron aspects with my most recent ex. I really, really thought I was going to marry him. Our relationship was very deep and loving, but when he ended things, I was not in good shape, and I don't think he was/is either.

We both had major issues with ourselves (mostly from being treated poorly by others and coming from emotionally invalidating environments) that were brought to the surface. In the end, he felt he wasn't good enough, and I've been faced with confronting issues of trust and abandonment.

It's been about 7 months and it's only just now becoming a little easier to swallow. But I have made so much progress with myself, and I do think that the separation was necessary, otherwise we would've been like two people trying to hold onto each other while having these giant, festering wounds on the outside.

I keep hoping we will be together again when we've "healed", but people here and in my offline life think I should move on. Chiron is tough, but it has certainly evolved me, and the tools you acquire from surviving such a trauma are priceless. I think, based on astrological evidence among other things, that he and I were twin flames, which is why it hurt so bad but was so necessary and inevitable.

If you are thinking about avoiding a relationship because of Chiron, it could be that you are just not ready for your life to change... If I were in your shoes (I mean myself literally in your position, please don't take this like I'm telling you what to do), I would spend time reflecting on why you're hesitating, because that's the real question here

Keep in mind that you may have to endure this for OTHER people...YOU become the wounded healer, and you're the one who will help others because of it.

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sashavittoria
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posted February 09, 2017 03:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, thank you so much everyone! You're all very insightful.

Ami Anne - it seems like Chiron conj NN would be the most important aspect for soul growth, but yes, devastating, I imagine.

Pangolin, thanks for sharing your experience. You really hit the nail on the head when you said to ask myself WHY I'm hesitating. I think self-inquiry is so important.

Yungang, I so agree! We must enjoy whatever we have while we have it...

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Ami Anne
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posted February 09, 2017 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Chiron is a very strange planet in synastry. I have some articles I can put up for you. I learned this by doing charts

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browncoat
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posted February 09, 2017 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for browncoat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Chiron is a very strange planet in synastry. I have some articles I can put up for you. I learned this by doing charts

I'd love to read those articles.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 09, 2017 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Brown and Welcome

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alludeu
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posted February 09, 2017 08:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alludeu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my experience I would say it isn't worth it. I mean the amount of healing and wisdom you'd accumulate after all the pain would be extraordinary.. But here is my story: My mum has been in an abusive relationship for 16 years (majority of my life). Her partner's chiron is exactly conjunct my mums north node and ever since they met, my mum's life has been nothing but a downward hill & a living hell and to be honest I'm not sure if she will ever get the courage/strength to leave the relationship.
Of course it's possible for the synastry with chiron/northnode contacts to not be as intense as my story, but I have a feeling the pain would play out significantly somehow..
P.s my mother has lots of taurus in her chart which gives her immense staying power even when things are bad. Perhaps a natal chart with stronger air/fire won't stand for abusive relationships..

But I don't really have any information on your aspects just be careful lol

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Ami Anne
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posted February 10, 2017 07:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for that comment, Alledu. That is exactly how we learn. The charts teach us lol

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sashavittoria
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posted February 15, 2017 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Alludeu! And Ami, I love the other thread you posted about Chiron. All very wise. I got a more exact birth time for my guy and there's ANOTHER tight trine from his moon to my Chiron. Ahhh we'll see. I do know I have some Chiron aspects with my best friend too, I need to look at the charts again. Overall Chiron really fascinates me right now and I want to keep researching him.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 15, 2017 05:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
With Chiron, I don't think you can "control" it by will. It seems to play out in a certain way. The Chiron relationship, as I call it, is super intense and really amazing, but if/when it is time to break up, no one can really stop it, in my experience.

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cultstatus
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posted February 15, 2017 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cultstatus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My current situation has a lot of Chiron aspects. My Chiron is conjunct his Venus and mercury, square his mars and north node. His Chiron squares my mars and Jupiter.

I definitely feel I am the one suffering for the sake of our spiritual and emotional evolution. A lot.

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sashavittoria
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posted February 16, 2017 12:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, yeah, you've said that before. I guess the length of the relationship depends on other aspects, like Saturn, right?

Wow cultstatus, that sounds rough! Do you feel though that it's a necessary suffering, that you're learning and growing? Or does the suffering feel meaningless? You called it spiritual and evolutionary, so I assume you feel it's worth it?

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cultstatus
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posted February 16, 2017 06:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cultstatus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi!

Well if you read my thread titled 'why does my boyfriend keep breaking up with me?' You'll see the impact it's had on me.

Not pleasant, but there were many good times. I'm only now starting to feel the growth, and I know I'm my heart it's an experience I needed to go through to really love myself and know my worth as an individual.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 16, 2017 06:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
S

The length of the relationship?

I think people cannot "control" the Chiron relationship.

It is like a weird Mobius strip. IT does what it wants and it is bigger than the two people.

Usually, one person begs the other to try again but the one who walked away is, usually, done.

Chiron relationships seem to act the same with friends, family, romantic etc

It is weird but it seems to follow this strange pattern ime

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sashavittoria
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posted February 18, 2017 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmm yeah he and I are both kinda waiting for the moment this relationship blows up in our faces. It did start suddenly and there is this tense feeling that it could end very abruptly and painfully too. I definitely feel that he has come to me for healing, and that he challenges/helps my Chiron in Leo.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 18, 2017 08:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, nothing is anyone's fault, S. Remember that.

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kicksotic
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posted February 19, 2017 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kicksotic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Question, though:

if one is familiar with Chiron energy in their natal chart - say, Chiron conjunct Sun/North Node as well as opposite Jupiter/Uranus - and the synastry has a ton of "Saturn glue" (Saturn/Venus conj Jupiter, Saturn/Venus opposite Sun, Saturn/Venus trine Saturn), might that make the less pleasant aspects of the Chiron synastric journey a bit more bearable?

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