posted February 06, 2018 10:07 AM            

I have been dating a Cancer man for a year and a half.

We met online and had a long distance relationship up until recently, when I relocated to his state.

We are now living together.

Before the move, we still saw each other pretty often and talked all day every day when we weren’t working. We literally woke up and fell asleep ‘together’ every night.

I met his entire family after dating for about 4 months.

Anyway, after about 6-7 months into our relationship, we start discussing the future and our plans. This is when we started discussing us living together, marriage, having babies, etc.

We have always been able to discuss everything openly no matter how uncomfortable so this wasn’t taken as anything too serious.

Fast-forward, now that we’re actually living together, he’s starting to mention his family, babies, etc even more. Enough for me to pick up on it and notice it’s on his mind A LOT.

(We went to go visit his grandmother the other day and sat with her for hours (His grandmother is like his mother. They both are equally important to him).)

I can tell he’s terrified of being a father, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes for it too.

I want to be the mother of his children one day.

I guess my question or discussion is, are these good signs?

Would a Cancer man go through all of this trouble if he wasn’t serious?

Sidenote: He dated a girl for 3 years before I came along. She was close to his family mainly because the town is already extremely small. They had been broken up for 6 months when me and him met. He said the relationship was “over before it was over”. They broke up for a multiple of reasons.

I wasn’t buying it in the beginning.
3 years is a long time to be with someone.

He always says he doesn’t believe time measures anything.

He says I’m the first girl he can actually say he loves (He said this recently).

I thought I was rebound until his actions were consistent with his words and still are until this day.

but I am still a woman and I still worry about things.

Can you all shed some light on this aspect of the Cancer man?

Experiences. Astrological advice. Etc.

posted February 06, 2018 11:34 AM            

My Cancer was very slow to open up. Always very stable, very steady, but slow. If anything I was the one always trying to shake things up to test his commitment to me, obsessing about his exes (Scorpio moon, ha...) and he always stuck by me, even though I probably didn't deserve it.

Everything came in stages with us...he asked me to move in after a year of dating, and he proposed to me right at the third year mark. It was also around the time of the proposal that he seriously started looking at buying a house for us, and then the talk of future family started. To be honest, I think I'm the one holding him back at this point...he wants to be a father SO BAD and talks about it quite often. He even asked me last night actually - "When do you want to have baby?" - so it's always something top of mind.

Maturity definitely plays a part too though I think...he is older (late bloomer) and therefore at a stage in his life where he feels he is really ready to settle down.

I think once a Cancer trusts you and brings you into their fold, it's hard to get out. Once that commitment is made in their mind, it's like a high-speed train and there's no slowing down. I must say I've EARNED that trust by being completely supportive and persistent through his ups and downs - definitely a textbook moody Cancer. They're very protective of themselves and trust very few fully, so if you've made it this far you've done something right.

I would believe what he says.

posted February 14, 2018 07:42 AM            

He’s open, loving and kind to you, you’re a part of his life, his family, you live together, you have an emotional bond…..

What’s the real fear here? Are you scared of committing or having children yourself? Do you have abandonment issues?

I honestly get no strange vibes about him at all, so he’s had a relationship before. That’s normal enough, I’m sure you have also?

It's probably better that we look at what you’re actually worried about here, so that you don’t start to find reasons to be jealous of his past. He sounds absolutely lovely and a bit of practice in a relationship is a help not a hindrance, best to learn what doesn’t work with the ‘wrong one’, so that you know how to be your best when you meet the actual one? :-)

posted February 14, 2018 09:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by waxlobster:
I don’t want to generalise about Sun signs, and even if we looked at the whole chart I really don’t see any reason to doubt this man.

He’s open, loving and kind to you, you’re a part of his life, his family, you live together, you have an emotional bond…..

What’s the real fear here? Are you scared of committing or having children yourself? Do you have abandonment issues?

I honestly get no strange vibes about him at all, so he’s had a relationship before. That’s normal enough, I’m sure you have also?

It's probably better that we look at what you’re actually worried about here, so that you don’t start to find reasons to be jealous of his past. He sounds absolutely lovely and a bit of practice in a relationship is a help not a hindrance, best to learn what doesn’t work with the ‘wrong one’, so that you know how to be your best when you meet the actual one? :-)

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You hit it right on the head, waxlobster.

I have major abandonment issues and 'daddy' issues in general.

He is VERY loving, attentive, supportive, etc

I love him more than I can put in words or a few feelings.

My world did a complete 180 when we met.

When I look at him, I’m home. It’s weird.

THAT is what’s scary about it all.

And It’s not too perfect because he has a million imperfections and we argue so it’s not a fairytale.

My mercury retrograde in Scorpio is going bananas.

Let's not generalize, true, but I mentioned CANCER because they tend to be very nostalgic about their past.

posted February 14, 2018 09:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonMystic:
Curious what your Sun, moon & ASC are.
Is there any Aqua in your chart? I ask
because Cancer men are pretty intense
with Aqua women, generally.
To answer your questions, yes these
are good indications. If you got along
well with his female relatives, you
have him doing cartwheels. Moon men love
their mom's and yes grandmas.My then,
fiancè was military and was over seas,
even though I knew his mom, he attached
her to me, she was dining me while he
was away and his Gma, he was over the
Moon and when she told him she liked me,
it was like an old Italian family blessing.
Be careful that you are accurate with your timing.
If he starts to get head over heels, he
may push fast for the marriage and kids.

In my case, I left a single love note
In my bf (from then) bedroom window. He
didn't find it until after I moved a long
way away. But then, a Cancer man who wants
something badly enough-just won't give up.
He courted, proposed (this is the uplifting
portion of my story, mind you).
Once we were engaged, he wanted to be
hitched like yesterday. Mention of my
having kids really overwhelmed me.
Just try to stay grounded and communicate
well with each other. Be aware of yourself.
If timing is in synch between you. (My
Ex fiancè was 6.5 yrs older). Cancer males
can sometimes be in more a hurry than
females. But please just listen to your
gut as well as your heart. In your post
you said he lived with someone not long
before. Pay attention to all he says or
doesn't. He does really sound in love with
you based on your post though. ❤

*sorry I'm disjointed in my explanation
of my experience. Pretty tired here*

---

Haha, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day and in your 'condition', to reply, Moon

I slightly noticed this pattern as well.

I'm not sure the proper term, astrologically, for this pattern i his birthchart, but his IC is technically ruled by Aquarius, but he has to houses in Pisces (4th and 5th) so his roots are hard to reach whether in a detached way or a mystical, private way.

I have Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Pluto, DSC in Scorpio with aspects to Uranus.

Sun (sextile)
Moon (TIGHT SQUARE)
Mercury (ALMOST EXACT Quintile)

and other Uranian vibes this might be a clue.

Anyway, I’m happy to hear your slight love gesture went far. I love mushy love stories

But him and his ex never lived together. It wasn’t as formal as our relationship is. Nowhere near. It was different set up and all (based off him answering my questions and me doing extinsive research on the girl).

posted February 14, 2018 09:29 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by margym0o:
In my experience having been with a Cancer man for 4 years, I can tell you that if he's talking about these things a lot...that's a good sign.

My Cancer was very slow to open up. Always very stable, very steady, but slow. If anything I was the one always trying to shake things up to test his commitment to me, obsessing about his exes (Scorpio moon, ha...) and he always stuck by me, even though I probably didn't deserve it.

Everything came in stages with us...he asked me to move in after a year of dating, and he proposed to me right at the third year mark. It was also around the time of the proposal that he seriously started looking at buying a house for us, and then the talk of future family started. To be honest, I think I'm the one holding him back at this point...he wants to be a father SO BAD and talks about it quite often. He even asked me last night actually - "When do you want to have baby?" - so it's always something top of mind.

Maturity definitely plays a part too though I think...he is older (late bloomer) and therefore at a stage in his life where he feels he is really ready to settle down.

I think once a Cancer trusts you and brings you into their fold, it's hard to get out. Once that commitment is made in their mind, it's like a high-speed train and there's no slowing down. I must say I've EARNED that trust by being completely supportive and persistent through his ups and downs - definitely a textbook moody Cancer. They're very protective of themselves and trust very few fully, so if you've made it this far you've done something right.

I would believe what he says.

ETA: My girlfriend had a similar experience with her Cancer husband. He was VERY quick to make up his mind about her, and though they dated for a few years before actually getting married, he was always the one more keen to settle down and start a family.

---

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words, MargyM0o

My intuition is telling me everything is okay.

My overly active mind gets out of control most of the time and I start having panic attacks. It’s really bad.

posted February 14, 2018 09:37 AM            

They have a Venus-SN connection along with Venus conjunct Pluto in synastry. Him being Venus and Pluto respectively.

Venus square Pluto in composite.
Mars square Pluto in composite.

These are extremely intense aspects that keep two people GLUED from my understanding.

I wish someone would look at all 3 honestly and tell me their opinion.

I know there’s no point in comparing.
Every relationship is different, blah blah.
But just for the sake of Astrology...

He has

Sun in Cancer
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Cancer
Venus in Taurus
Mars in Virgo

I have

Sun in Scorpio
Moon in Libra
Mercury (r) in Scorpio
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Sagittarius.

EX

Sun in Capricorn
Moon in Libra
Mercury in Capricorn
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Virgo

If you guys want to pull charts on your own**

Please and THANK YOU.

Please DO NOT QUOTE**

Me: Nov 11, 1993
New Hyde Park, NY
5:00pm (straight from my birth certificate)

Him: June 24, 1993
Kershaw, SC
Around 5:30pm (closest estimate)

Her: Dec 25, 1994
Kershaw, SC
Unknown.

I know you’re not supposed to take Astrology this literally, but it’s hard when you can generate a chart with a click of a button.

My biggest fear is that their synastry/ composite is way better. He might wake up one day and realize he loves her or something like that. Like you see in the movies.

I mean me and his ex DO have the same Moon/ Venus. Except her moon is in the early degrees, Venus late degrees. My moon in late degrees, Venus early degrees.

posted February 14, 2018 04:19 PM            

They have a Venus-SN conjunction AND Venus conjunct Pluto in Synastry.

FYI: It’s a worry always in the back of my mind, yes, but it’s not as MAJOR as it might appear on here.

I don’t doubt him or our relationship.

posted February 14, 2018 04:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Cancers are VERY nostalgic.

They have a Venus-SN conjunction AND Venus conjunct Pluto in Synastry.

FYI: It’s a worry always in the back of my mind, yes, but it’s not as MAJOR as it might appear on here.

I don’t doubt him or our relationship.

I’m just a little insecure about his previous one.

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Girl, I totally get you. I did the EXACT SAME THING with my fiance and his ex. I SCOURED their synastry/composite looking for some reason to still link them together.

Even just thinking about it right now, I used to fume over their Moon/Venus conjunction that we don't have and I've heard so many nice things about. Or their Moon/Saturn synastry trine, that's binding right? Or their Moon/Pluto synastry trine, that's REALLY binding right? In their composite...even though I don't know her birth time there's a guaranteed Venus conj. Jupiter, trine Uranus, sextile Moon...that's pretty nice!

The over-analyzing was driving me insane. Astrology shouldn't be used as a weapon like that. I was CONVINCED in the beginning of our relationship that he must still be in love with her given all of that. And the Scorpio paranoia can be INTENSE, trust me I know. I think what helped me start to get over these feelings is 1) realize I was putting A LOT of stock in astrology and 2) realize I was worrying about something where I had no tangible proof, to the point where I would project my own insecurities onto him and cause fights where there was no real reason to start them.

The truth is...he's been on this planet for almost 40 years, and naturally he's had ex-girlfriends before me. If I were to do the synastries of all of his relationships, I bet I could come up with a laundry list of aspects I'm envious of in all of their respective charts. But guess what...I have exes too! And I've shared some nicer aspects with them than I have with him currently! It doesn't change how I feel about him in the current moment.

If you saw my composite with my most recent ex, you'd probably start sweating. It's the most unbelievable composite I've ever seen (even Todd had nothing but positive things to say, lol!) but guess what...he's still my ex! We are still on friendly terms don't get me wrong (all that positive energy has to go somewhere) but he is NOT for me romantically. He is an ex for a reason! And so is your boyfriend's ex.

posted February 21, 2018 08:10 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by margym0o:
Girl, I totally get you. I did the EXACT SAME THING with my fiance and his ex. I SCOURED their synastry/composite looking for some reason to still link them together.

Even just thinking about it right now, I used to fume over their Moon/Venus conjunction that we don't have and I've heard so many nice things about. Or their Moon/Saturn synastry trine, that's binding right? Or their Moon/Pluto synastry trine, that's REALLY binding right? In their composite...even though I don't know her birth time there's a guaranteed Venus conj. Jupiter, trine Uranus, sextile Moon...that's pretty nice!

The over-analyzing was driving me insane. Astrology shouldn't be used as a weapon like that. I was CONVINCED in the beginning of our relationship that he must still be in love with her given all of that. And the Scorpio paranoia can be INTENSE, trust me I know. I think what helped me start to get over these feelings is 1) realize I was putting A LOT of stock in astrology and 2) realize I was worrying about something where I had no tangible proof, to the point where I would project my own insecurities onto him and cause fights where there was no real reason to start them.

The truth is...he's been on this planet for almost 40 years, and naturally he's had ex-girlfriends before me. If I were to do the synastries of all of his relationships, I bet I could come up with a laundry list of aspects I'm envious of in all of their respective charts. But guess what...I have exes too! And I've shared some nicer aspects with them than I have with him currently! It doesn't change how I feel about him in the current moment.

If you saw my composite with my most recent ex, you'd probably start sweating. It's the most unbelievable composite I've ever seen (even Todd had nothing but positive things to say, lol!) but guess what...he's still my ex! We are still on friendly terms don't get me wrong (all that positive energy has to go somewhere) but he is NOT for me romantically. He is an ex for a reason! And so is your boyfriend's ex.

p.s. the thing about like it happens in the movies...I think in real life, with the exception of very rare cases, you can usually see these things coming a MILE away. It's not often someone just randomly wakes up one morning and decides they're still in love with their ex and wants to go be with them. Usually there's still some link there...whether it's they still communicate, they see each other casually or at work maybe, or the person is brought up in conversation a lot, or if there's some shady behaviour going on...there's SOMETHING that will tip off to there still being a link there. If the partner is smart and has their wits about them, they would pick up on this and see it coming. I think unless he's showing you some sign that he cares/thinks about/loves his ex in some subtle or not-so-subtle way, you're ok.

---

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your perspective, MargyM0o. I can relate all too well, but it's comforting knowing I'm not the only one who does this. I guess in terms of Astrology, things always manifest different than on paper and nothing will ever be as cut and dry as those cookbook descriptions!

He has even tried getting his mother involved in showing me he's serious about us and our relationship. He wanted his mother to come and sit and talk with me, but I respectfully declined because I'm not comfortable with that set up.

My own family is very aloof, distant. We'r close too and share beautiful moments but we are in no way, traditional like his family.

I think I started worrying more when I found out how close she is to hi family.If you get in good with a Cancer man's family, you're basically safe.

posted February 22, 2018 09:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jjj:
Venus-SN and Venus-Pluto both are aspects that produce hot-cold, on-off, I wouldnt want them in my synastry. All conjunctions to SN can alientate after the initial rush, I have experienced that.

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That’s what my boyfriend said.

He said it was over before it was over.