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Author Topic:   Biggest Aspects to Avoid in relationships
RunAroundScreaming
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posted October 07, 2012 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Please note, the term Hard Aspect in astrology denotes any negative aspects as well as the conjunction, even minor negative aspects such as the quincunx, sesquiquadrate, and semisquare count.


Composite Saturn in hard aspect to Uranus (From Astrology.com)

As a couple, you will inevitably come up against considerable frustration, limitations, and restrictions on your freedom. Unfortunately one or both of you feels very cramped and stifled by routines established in your way of relating to one another. You may find it difficult to completely let go and/or relax with one another, regardless of whatever positives the two of you have going together. And others may be equally ill-at-ease in your presence when you are together. Not that there is open conflict, necessarily. It's more chronic and subtle than that, more of an irritable tension, and it may seem that you never quite gel or stabilize. Only if you both give each other much leeway and tolerance, and express your tensions before they become excessive, will any long-lasting harmony develop here.

---Additional description---(From astro.com)
The conjunction of Saturn and Uranus in the composite chart indicates tension and conflict between you. One of you wants to be free and unfettered, and the other restricts that desire. This is an explosive situation and can lead to sudden outbreaks of temper when long-suppressed tensions come to the surface.
With this conjunction in your composite horoscope, it is a good idea not to hold back your feelings. Whenever tensions develop between you, discuss them. Don't hope that they will go away, because they won't.
This tendency to hold in your feelings can be very useful during short periods of tension or difficulty, however. At times it will seem as if the two of you can endure anything together. But when such a period is over, make sure that all the events and emotional consequences of that time are dealt with, or they will become part of an eventual blowup.


Composite Mars in hard aspect to Pluto (From astro.com)
The square of Mars and Pluto in a composite chart requires some care and consideration within a relationship. Ego forces run high between you, because something about your interaction makes you constantly challenge each other. Consequently this aspect can create the most intense competition between two people. When the energies of this aspect operate unconsciously within a relationship, they can lead to considerable violence. Obviously it is very important to be conscious of them.
The two of you have very different aims in life, and if you choose to get in each other's way, you will certainly succeed in doing so. You will be able to get along with each other only by recognizing that there is plenty of room in the world for each of you to do what you want. This aspect does not make for getting along easily and spontaneously; you have to make it happen.

---Alternate interpretation from Astro.com---
With the opposition of Mars and Pluto in the composite chart it will be difficult for the two of you to avoid conflict and power struggles in any kind of relationship. In extreme cases there could be physical violence.
The reasons for the extreme effects of this aspect are as follows. Mars has a great deal to do with the ego-drive, whereby one becomes a fully self-expressive individual. Pluto represents the energy of intense and fundamental transformations. When Mars and Pluto are opposed, this energy is combined inharmoniously with the ego-drives. Or to put it in less philosophical terms, a cosmic power is subjected to purely personal and selfish drives.
In order to deal with this energy constructively, it is necessary to reverse the roles of Pluto and Mars, so that the ego-drives are transformed by the cosmic power of Pluto. Unless you both do this, the experience will be very unpleasant. You must let this relationship change and transform you without resistance.

Composite Mars in hard aspect to Uranus (From astro.com)
The opposition of Mars and Uranus in the composite chart requires the two of you to have a great deal of flexibility. With this aspect it is very difficult to let things be. Usually you get into a very competitive situation in which you are constantly trying to goad each other. Each person's self-expression becomes a challenge to the other.
Sometimes the relationship itself takes such an unusual turn that you will find it very difficult to pursue in ordinary society. Other people often cannot tolerate such an "impossible" relationship because it is such a challenge to their way of looking at life. Something about the way you act together does defy society at large.
Obviously a relationship with this aspect should find a social setting that is extremely tolerant of the unusual. At the same time the two of you must also be unusually tolerant of the unusual. Trouble is often caused if you try to make this relationship into something ordinary.


Composite Mars in hard aspect to Saturn (From grupovenus.com)
In addition to whatever success this relationship holds, there will be considerable frustration as well. One or both of you feels that you cannot do what you want, or that you are constantly being checked, watched, and judged. Projects you undertake together may seem like a great strain, a constant battle, a grind, a struggle against overwhelming odds. A certain grimness and pessimism can permeate your interactions. However, all is not for naught, and the constant effort may eventually lead to an important accomplishment.

If you are expecting this friendship to be a casual, light happy acquaintance, then you are mistaken. This relationship can lead to success in a joint effort, but only after much hard work and effort.

Most importantly, refrain from being excessively critical of each other or cynical towards one another. Even a little joking can turn bitter quickly, and things said in jest between you can have a biting edge that was not originally intended. If you truly respect each other and give each other recognition for achievements and contributions, much of the negative potential described above can be avoided.

---Alternate Interpretation from Astro.com---
The square of Mars and Saturn indicates that the two of you are working at cross purposes. But this aspect does not often give rise to open warfare. Usually it produces negative feelings that seethe below the surface without ever coming out into the open. Occasionally your feelings will go past the boiling point, however, and there will be a big explosion of angry words between you.
With this aspect in your composite chart, you obviously have work to do. First of all, you must open the channels of communication between you. Say exactly what is on your mind and try not to express irritation in little cutting remarks.
In a sexual relationship, this aspect often creates differences of timing. One of you will always be in a different mood from the other, and both of you will insist on what you want when you want it. Obviously someone has to give, and that will be difficult in this case.


Composite Jupiter in hard aspect to Saturn (From astro.com)
The opposition of Jupiter and Saturn in a composite chart means that the two of you must find an equilibrium. You have a natural tendency to swing back and forth between moods of opposite extremes, such as deep pessimism and great optimism.
It is often the case that two conflicting tendencies are represented by each of you separately, one of you taking the expansive role while the other is more cautious.
Needless to say, the two of you must learn to be patient in dealing with each other. You have to give each other room without trying to limit freedom of self-expression. If each of you can express your mood swings without constantly running into resistance from your partner, the two of you should be able to coexist in some degree of harmony and avoid unnecessary ups and downs.

Composite Sun in hard aspect to any three of these planets at once: Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus. If mars is additionally in hard aspect to any one of these, that is a red alert for a considerably dangerous relationship. (For example, Chris Brown and Rihanna had Composite Sun opposite mars BOTH in negative aspect to all three saturn, neptune and uranus!)
Comp. Sun in in negatvie aspect to neptune is not that big of a deal, comp. sun in hard aspect to saturn is a bit more annoying, but still not a deal breaker. Comp sun in hard aspect to pluto is actually AWESOME. But Comp sun in hard aspect to uranus is a total deal-breaker. You should just be aware that the relationship is gonna break up at some point and it will probably be a sudden breakup (just how uranus likes it), either due to outside circumstances, to unrequited love, or to one of the people's feelings changing. Same thing applies to composite venus afflicted by uranus. If you have that just note that there is a slim chance of you staying together or even managing to get together in the first place. In synastry it means your feelings about each other and sexual attraction fluctuate all the time, but in composite, since the composite is the chart of the relationship itself, it shows a relationship that just will not get off the ground.

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Unfortunate aspects to have, but not violent or abusive:

Composite Moon in hard aspect to Uranus (From grupovenus.com)
Coping with uncertainty and the unexpected is a theme. Everything may flow smoothly for a long time, and then suddenly the two of you are faced with unexpected transitions. Any endeavor that the two of you undertake together will evolve through various unusual transitions and you will succeed together only if you can adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

Both of you will also feel that you cannot depend on each other, because at times you find that it is difficult to maintain communication, and you tend to fall out of touch with each other periodically.

Jupiter in hard aspect to Uranus (From astro.com)
The opposition of Jupiter and Uranus in the composite chart may make it difficult for you to have a stable relationship, regardless of your reasons for being together. This aspect creates a situation in which individual freedom and independence may be more important to each of you than the goals of the relationship. Therefore you must give each other plenty of room in order to minimize tension and avoid having one of you feel the need to break away.
A sexual relationship or a marriage would be most affected by this aspect, because such a relationship is inherently the most limiting of your freedom. One might find this aspect in an open marriage, for example, in which two partners agree to allow relationships with others.
Other personal relationships are less affected by the energy of this aspect, but even so you should avoid being narrowly possessive of each other, for that presents a major threat to the survival of the partnership.

Composite Venus in hard aspect to Saturn (From grupovenus.com)
Composite Venus Square Saturn:

Unrequited and unfulfilled love will be a theme in your relationship. It may be that
outside circumstances prevent you from being together as fully as you would wish, or the
blockages come from within the two of you. Fears - of loss, separation, or abandonment -
may well block you from sharing your love, surrendering fully, and letting feelings of
closeness flow. Insecurities and lack of trust can hold you back from even coming
together. And if you do come together, true intimacy will be hard to achieve. A certain
lack of generosity and openness, and an overall feeling of caution and tightness,
characterize your bond.

Part of the purpose of this relationship is to let you see what you really need and what
you are truly capable of giving in close relationship to another, but it is principally
through frustration that this insight occurs.


Sun Mutually Aspects Saturn: (From grupovenus.com)

As a couple, you tend to focus too much on the responsibilities and duties that you
have to each other and not enough time to simply have fun, laugh, and enjoy life. Both of
you are also likely to feel blocked in your creative expression. You may feel judged and
criticized by each other, and that you hold one another back. Many astrologers would say
that you owe each other a "karmic debt", and whether this is true or not, you will be
called on to make lots of sacrifices for one another.


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sweet-scorpion
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posted October 07, 2012 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We have Mars in Leo in the 10th, opposite Saturn in Aqua in the 4th; Mars square Pluto in Scorpio in the 2nd; and Sun in Virgo in the 11th quincunx Saturn.

I see the Sun-Saturn quincunx as one of the trickiest and worst aspects for us. I feel the Sun represents me and our vitality, our desire for communication, travel and intellectual fun, and also my own personal pursuits as a writer (Virgo) and how that dominates our relationship at times. Saturn in Aqua on the other hand, is not mutable as Virgo is - it's extremely fixed and stays right where it is, out of fear and a need to commit and be responsible for 4th house matters... and that is most definitely his issue. He's very afraid of his parents' judgements and is always trying to please them. He has a bizarre home life (Aqua influence) that often impedes us both.

Same goes for the Mars-Saturn opposition. I really want to break him out of his shell, since I can be Mars way more often, and sometimes I can push him too far and he'll be very distant and removed since he isn't as spontaneously sexual as I am.

As for Mars square Pluto, I just don't know about this for us being that bad. I feel like more for us, not to be TMI, but it represents something more sexy and explosive than violent- like a mutual interest in exploring taboos like BDSM.

So yes, we have some heavy hitters, but with Saturn aspects I've found that hard work pays off. I've really gotten him to loosen up by pummeling that fixed Saturn force of his, lol. But I've also learned to put some restraints on my impulsivity, since I feel that I personally can identify with that fieriness that comes with Leo Mars in our composite sometimes going a bit too far. The most distressing is the Sun-Saturn quincunx which shows an inability to blend, so IDK about that one.

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Lava Flower
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posted October 07, 2012 04:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lava Flower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think Neptune square Mars is pretty bad in the composite as well, as Neptune isn't exactly sexual and would probably get tired of "Oh honey, we will do this and that... tomorrow night".

I have seen this aspect play out in synastry with a few couples and it always lead to not only disappointment but infidelity as well. I was also once Neptune with someone who I was considering a relationship with. Whenever I said anything (sexual) even something innocent about my previous sexual experiences, I noticed Mars getting that dreamy look in his eyes with the motor turning and I would get uncomfortable because I could tell Mars expanded and filtered what I just said.

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Hanneli
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posted October 07, 2012 04:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hanneli     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
haha sucks finding someone you feel you can really connect with and then see the composite just slap you in the face

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Ceridwen
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posted October 07, 2012 04:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lava Flower:

Whenever I said anything (sexual) even something innocent about my previous sexual experiences, I noticed Mars getting that dreamy look in his eyes with the motor turning and I would get uncomfortable because I could tell Mars expanded and filtered what I just said.

Mmh, maybe I should memorize that. My Neptune is exactly square a guy`s Mars and conjunct his DESC-ruler Mercury.


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Ami Anne
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posted October 07, 2012 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hanneli:
haha sucks finding someone you feel you can really connect with and then see the composite just slap you in the face


Funny you say that, Hanneli and Welcome! xx
I was wondering what someone would do, when this happened? Would you go forward to marriage etc?

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Lava Flower
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posted October 07, 2012 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lava Flower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Mmh, maybe I should memorize that. My Neptune is exactly square a guy`s Mars and conjunct his DESC-ruler Mercury.


You know, if physical sexual expression isn't a priority in a relationship and both value the spiritual bond, this wouldn't be so bad. Gimme this when I'm old and raggy and my lover is nonfunctional or something, then we could bond with the blissful fantasies. You just have all that Pluto

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Hanneli
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posted October 07, 2012 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hanneli     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Funny you say that, Hanneli and Welcome! xx
I was wondering what someone would do, when this happened? Would you go forward to marriage etc?


thank you

personally, i might just try it to see if all the horrible aspects can be embraced and become lessons to learn from so that we could transform and grow together. i can't speak for the other person though... my current interest and i share quite a frightening composite lol

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Gabby
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posted October 07, 2012 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anything on pluto sq saturn?

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Lava Flower
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posted October 07, 2012 05:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lava Flower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Funny you say that, Hanneli and Welcome! xx
I was wondering what someone would do, when this happened? Would you go forward to marriage etc?



In theory, if this was someone I connected with profoundly, I would. Probably spend a lot of time getting to know them, see if we are heading in the same direction and if we felt we are stronger together rather than apart, which I think is one of the main things it comes down to. But then again I believe everything happens for a reason; if you're meant to be with someone, you will be by choice, force or something else.

Hanneli, I have a mostly red composite with my love and above all, I want to be with him most.

RAS, I'm surprised you don't have Saturn square moon, the squasher of sensitivity aspect as part of the list.

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Gabby
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posted October 07, 2012 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:

I was wondering what someone would do, when this happened? Would you go forward to marriage etc?



With me, it would depend on how open our communication was, if we could talk about things and he was just as willing to adjust so it didnt create a rift then id move forward and know it was going to be a challenge in that area that we would always be dealing with...if he wasn't open and willing to see the issue i think it would be the beginning of the end!

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FireMoon
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posted October 07, 2012 08:25 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
With me, it would depend on how open our communication was, if we could talk about things and he was just as willing to adjust so it didnt create a rift then id move forward and know it was going to be a challenge in that area that we would always be dealing with...if he wasn't open and willing to see the issue i think it would be the beginning of the end!


Yes, I I totally agree. There's eventually going to be challenges faced in any relationship, and I think it comes down to whether the couple can face them as a team, or will turn against each other... Communication is huge. The composite (or synastry) shouldn't be the ultimate deciding factor imo.

The way I see it, Western astrology is ONE of numerous types of astrology and belief systems. It's very valuable, but it's also very formulaic, measuring things down to the degrees and minute, aspects are either good or bad... But even within Western astrology many astrologers interpret things differently... So it's not so black and white imo

You can have a great composite with someone and just not get along or never get things off the ground, or have things end badly.. I have to believe the opposite can be true as well.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted October 07, 2012 09:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah i was thinking of putting moon square saturn cuz it sucks too (haha), but its not like violent or abusive or anything. To me uranus is more emotionally/mentally abusive bc its like mind games and power struggles in a way.

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crissyx89
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posted October 07, 2012 11:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for crissyx89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto is proven to be pretty dangerous in hard aspects especially in crimes of passion.Shocked that more emphasis on pluto wasn't talked about.

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crissyx89
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posted October 07, 2012 11:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for crissyx89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto is proven to be pretty dangerous in hard aspects especially in crimes of passion.Shocked that more emphasis on pluto wasn't talked about.

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CRCRINCON
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posted October 08, 2012 12:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CRCRINCON     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi! I was in an abusive marriage for exactly 6 months. I was smart and got out quick! We had quite a few of these aspects! He was verbally and physically abusive.

However, I am remarried to an amazing man since 2008. But we also have quite a few of the above aspects. Mars opposed to Pluto, jupiter square saturn, Mars square Saturn. We argue at times, no doubt about it. But there has never been abuse between us. I'm a full believer in astrology, but the multiple layers all need to be considered.

This is the part of astrology that still confuses me when giving readings. Because if you look at our charts together people would say we are not a good match. But he is my hero, my love, my best friend, my soulmate. We are opposites and see life quite differently. But we are glued together with a high level of chemistry. He is so giving with me. And I am always by his side.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted October 08, 2012 12:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^to above poster: make a new thread in personal readings with the composite with the little aspect grid below it from astro.com's "extended chart selection," and also copy and paste the compatibility for lovers reading from grupovenus.com and we'll try to solve the mystery

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Gabby
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posted October 08, 2012 01:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
Yes, I I totally agree. There's eventually going to be challenges faced in any relationship, and I think it comes down to whether the couple can face them as a team, or will turn against each other... Communication is huge. The composite (or synastry) shouldn't be the ultimate deciding factor imo.

The way I see it, Western astrology is ONE of numerous types of astrology and belief systems. It's very valuable, but it's also very formulaic, measuring things down to the degrees and minute, aspects are either good or bad... But even within Western astrology many astrologers interpret things differently... So it's not so black and white imo

You can have a great composite with someone and just not get along or never get things off the ground, or have things end badly.. I have to believe the opposite can be true as well.


I agree, its always subjective on the maturity of the ppl involved...no matter what the chart or synastry says!

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CRCRINCON
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posted October 08, 2012 01:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CRCRINCON     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
^to above poster: make a new thread in personal readings with the composite with the little aspect grid below it from astro.com's "extended chart selection," and also copy and paste the compatibility for lovers reading from grupovenus.com and we'll try to solve the mystery


Sounds fun! But ps. I'm a dork. I should have specified that I was speaking of our Synastry. My bad! Our composite I believe is beautiful and full of great aspects.

I've been studying avidly for years. And I know "why" we are together. I mean it makes sense to me! Synastry ie Sun conjunct SN, venus trine jupiter but we also dont Share some of the classic aspects others would consider marriage making and with this intensity of love and connection. So I get confused! I'll welcome others new eyes!

Because it's one thing to study others chart and and an entirely different thing for me to study ours. I think I'm just too close!

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted October 08, 2012 02:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^see, there you go. That's why. I dont agree sorry. if you have two people who are saints if they have a bad composite they will bring out the nasty side in each other regardless.

If synastry is bad but composite is good, all is well. The composite is most important. As proves your new happy marriage

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CRCRINCON
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posted October 08, 2012 04:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CRCRINCON     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
^see, there you go. That's why. I dont agree sorry. if you have two people who are saints if they have a bad composite they will bring out the nasty side in each other regardless.

If synastry is bad but composite is good, all is well. The composite is most important. As proves your new happy marriage


Well, we have Mars square Pluto, Moon inconjunct Uranus, Sun square Uranus in composite. But we have a grand kite.

I have to figure out how to post the astro.com pdf synastry grid. I don't know how to do that on here. I know how to upload from photobucket pictures. But not Pdfs. Is there there a place I can go to learn on here how to change Pdf to Jpeg to upload?

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted October 08, 2012 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Saturn Opposite Uranus in Composite. Not good at all I guess.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted October 08, 2012 04:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CRCRINCON:
Well, we have Mars square Pluto, Moon inconjunct Uranus, Sun square Uranus in composite. But we have a grand kite.

I have to figure out how to post the astro.com pdf synastry grid. I don't know how to do that on here. I know how to upload from photobucket pictures. But not Pdfs. Is there there a place I can go to learn on here how to change Pdf to Jpeg to upload?


i dont need that synastry grid thing but u can take a snapshot of ur screen by pressing the print screen button on ur keyboard and opening up paint and pasting it there then saving

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amowls**
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posted October 08, 2012 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls**     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Funny you say that, Hanneli and Welcome! xx
I was wondering what someone would do, when this happened? Would you go forward to marriage etc?



I would because it's unwise to give up something that you feel good about just because of astrology.

In any case, a lot of these aspects someone or both partners might have natally, in which case they'd be used to those energies and would be better equipped to deal with them. Saturn and Uranus to Venus, for instance, does not really bother me in composites because I have those natally. Bad Pluto aspects, though, are a bummer for me because Pluto is not very integrated in my chart at all (only sextiles Neptune, which is a generational thing).

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11nahyt
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posted October 08, 2012 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 11nahyt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
I would because it's unwise to give up something that you feel good about just because of astrology.

In any case, a lot of these aspects someone or both partners might have natally, in which case they'd be used to those energies and would be better equipped to deal with them. Saturn and Uranus to Venus, for instance, does not really bother me in composites because I have those natally. Bad Pluto aspects, though, are a bummer for me because Pluto is not very integrated in my chart at all (only sextiles Neptune, which is a generational thing).


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