vansio
Newflake Posts: 3
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Registered: Dec 2017
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posted August 20, 2018 04:56 AM
  
I've been committed, devoted, sometimes turbulent relationship with a guy for three years, last nine months have been long distance for naturalization of my citizenship reasons. We've lived together from the start. Three weeks ago, I all of a sudden get news that hes fallen in love with someone else despite the fact that him and I have been an unit for our whole relationship, that he still wants me and he needs help figuring out how to navigate an open relationship, that this happened all of a sudden and wasn't expecting it. I am cautious, tell him this is not the time for something like this for us but tolerant and ask him to hold it off until I come (knowing that a problem like this is small in comparison to a lifetime of shared challenges). He agrees. I immediately booked a flight to him. I tried to console him throughout the entire crisis from half way across the world about our love and longevity but as the days would transpire (hanging out with this person every day despite reassuring me that they've put it on ice) has turned his back on us. Leading up to my arrival, he was still telling me he loved me and cherished our strong relationship, calling me on the phone at night to be by his ear while he slept and I busied my day. The way this breakup happened has been so selfish and disgusting on his part to the point that our entire community is disturbed by his behavior. He broke up with me at the airport upon arrival, he was so aggressive, empty behind the eyes, telling me my love is insincere and just talk then dashed off to go to a business dinner with her partying all night posting pictures of them on Instagram meanwhile Ive just flown 25 hours to communicate. He had a work trip to asia only two days after I arrived, our time would be so short to process together, but he has disregarded it (out of fear, so obvious). He was in love with me (constant companionship throughout our relationship, workmanship, living and sharing our life together (his apartment is actually mine then our apartment throughout our time, same profession, constant phone time all day long) and all of sudden he is throwing it out to pursue this possibility. Him and this girl have been partying so hard for three weeks (drugs, alcohol) and everyone in his life is asking him what the hell is he doing? He doesn't behave this way when with me (three years). We take care of our selves and bodies, challenge ourselves. Everyone knows us. Everyone is so sad to witness this. Everyone from his grandparents, parents, guy friends, colleagues, mutual couples have reached out to me trying to understand. As an aside, the guy friends who have met this girl in those weeks leading up to the breakup have revealed to me that can't understand how he would leave someone like me for her. When he broke the news to me he was so inspired to tell me that I would love her, revealing the effect that she resembles me in his sparkling novel eyes. He's going through his Saturn return, with hard Saturn and Uranus transits. All of this transpired suddenly during the solar eclipse this past month, starting with a mercury retrograde. We've had hard times in our past, share of destructive fights stemming from frustration about our lot but we've managed to stick with each other throughout it all, with love and affection, though there is unresolved pain that he dwells on as reason to ease his ego. Long term partnership has always been a source of our inspiration and Ive stayed committed with growth and growing pains as a ingredient to true love, Ive had direction and carried a lot for us. We've always been a team. I can't even describe how much of a shock this considering how very deep and close we were. In spite of the recent long distance, we have been an inseperable coupl, privately and publically. Ive been very graceful, sensitive, humble, and strong in dealing with him throughout this all, despite being abandoned and perpetually disrespected in the wake of his new feeling. He can't bring me down to his immature drama, I will not give in single low reaction to validate whatever are his reasons. Rather, stay true to myself and my love and move on. At this point, I will not be with a man who cannot treat a circumstance with care, diginity and respect, especially one that was rooting for a lifetime through thick and thin. Weak man child with inflated, nonsensical ego. He has a history of infidelity as catalysts for his relationships ending, infidelity in his upbringing with his parents and grandparents, so this is a unevolved cycle that I imagine psychologically he feels as the fated return to "himself". I need some input the relationship and his influences. Feel free to ask me anything about the circumstances and share your input, I could really use the dialogue. I have her birthday but not her birth time.
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