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Author Topic:   Extremely Nervous Dater!!
astrosaz
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Posts: 313
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Registered: Mar 2015

posted September 05, 2018 06:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for astrosaz     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My whole life as a child and teenager Generalized Anxiety Disorder destroyed my life and I had very little self esteem. One part of my general anxiety was Social anxiety but as I matured I found a way to cope and now I'm very good at being in social situations, meeting new people, bringing people together etc. My Leo Rising and Venus in Libra in the 3rd finally doing it's thing and encouraging me to flourish.

There's just one area I am terrible in... Talking to ANYONE I'm romantically interested in - I ALWAYS ruin it! I still remember this conversation -

Me - Do you know anyone called Sheila?
Interest - No, do you?
Me - No.
Interest - Why are you asking then...
*TUMBLEWEED*

That's not even the worst of it *bangs face off desk* but I would rather save myself from further humiliation...

I always come across as either snobby and stuck up (I'm just nervous so seem quiet) or really, really weird and awkward or annoying (also nervous so over overcompensating!) I would love to 'JUST BE MYSELF' But I CAN'T no matter how hard I try so that's unhelpful...But one thing that really helps my confidence is astrology and examining synastry, just as a gateway for the initial encounter until I'm comfortable.

Pisces men are always so different from one and other, so I don't really know how to approach this??? This person is very goofy, sensitive/ sweet, weird, loves and cares about everyone, unique and either very loud or very quiet. I just can't be myself around this person because I get sooooo nervous I don't know how to act! What can I do and say initially to impress so I can slowly get comfortable to let my guard down and hopefully let the real me shine through?

My Birth time is accurate, Pisces birth time is a guess.

I really, really, don't want to f**k this one up, I really don't want to ask about Sheila for no apparent reason. F**k you Sheila.

Synastry

Pisces Natal

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kirki
Knowflake

Posts: 367
From:
Registered: Aug 2014

posted September 05, 2018 07:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kirki     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
With all respect ,that Sheila thing made me laugh a lot.I feel akward and stressed too in many circumstances .Moon marsin pisces and a very weird mc make me feel uncomfortable with people many times.After many years of trying to hide my stress i decided simply to say it and make a little fun with it.It helps me so maybe it could help you too.Stress doesnt identify you,so when you get rid of that you ll feel free to show your real character.Try it.Your synastry looks good to me,but others will tell you more about it.Stress is just a detail of your character,not whole package ,and its ok to show our vulnerability .Trust me ,everyone has personal struggles.

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HieronymusTush
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From:
Registered: Aug 2018

posted September 05, 2018 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for HieronymusTush     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by astrosaz:
My whole life as a child and teenager Generalized Anxiety Disorder destroyed my life and I had very little self esteem. One part of my general anxiety was Social anxiety but as I matured I found a way to cope and now I'm very good at being in social situations, meeting new people, bringing people together etc. My Leo Rising and Venus in Libra in the 3rd finally doing it's thing and encouraging me to flourish.

There's just one area I am terrible in... Talking to ANYONE I'm romantically interested in - I ALWAYS ruin it! I still remember this conversation -

Me - Do you know anyone called Sheila?
Interest - No, do you?
Me - No.
Interest - Why are you asking then...
*TUMBLEWEED*

That's not even the worst of it *bangs face off desk* but I would rather save myself from further humiliation...

I always come across as either snobby and stuck up (I'm just nervous so seem quiet) or really, really weird and awkward or annoying (also nervous so over overcompensating!) I would love to 'JUST BE MYSELF' But I CAN'T no matter how hard I try so that's unhelpful...But one thing that really helps my confidence is astrology and examining synastry, just as a gateway for the initial encounter until I'm comfortable.

Pisces men are always so different from one and other, so I don't really know how to approach this??? This person is very goofy, sensitive/ sweet, weird, loves and cares about everyone, unique and either very loud or very quiet. I just can't be myself around this person because I get sooooo nervous I don't know how to act! What can I do and say initially to impress so I can slowly get comfortable to let my guard down and hopefully let the real me shine through?

My Birth time is accurate, Pisces birth time is a guess.

I really, really, don't want to f**k this one up, I really don't want to ask about Sheila for no apparent reason. F**k you Sheila.

Synastry

Pisces Natal


"be yourself" is such a double bind - it's impossible to perform yourself on order! As a fellow anxieuse, I feel ya. In terms of self-encouragement, I try to push myself to do the thing that will become the better story afterwards.

I can't see the charts, btw!

------------------
🌚

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LunaIscariot
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Posts: 2771
From:
Registered: Aug 2014

posted September 05, 2018 02:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LunaIscariot     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You have a lot of water, that tends to make one very anxious and shy because all water signs are quiet and introverted. You also have a 4th house stellium adding even more of an introverted influence. 4th house is all about privacy and it’s the lowest most hidden part of the chart opposed to the public the 10th house, what’s most obvious etc.
You have mercury R which tends to make people insecure about expressing themselves, and being misunderstood. Usually shows communication problems or difficulties but usually grow out of it in time because of progressions.

You’re naturally a shy, sensitive, introverted, very private person who likes their alone time and private home life.
Nothing wrong with that 😊 lots of others are the same.

You have Saturn in your 7th, which shows relationship and relating/connecting to others is difficult for you. People with Saturn in the 7th or 1st always feel awkward about relating to others since Saturn is such an antisocial energy. Whenever Saturn is in your chart is where you’ll have frustrations, delays, blockages and difficulties but also a lot of lessons and growth in this life relationships and connecting to people one on one is that area for you. This again gets better with time and age, as is the nature of Saturn. After your first solar return around 28-30 you’ll find it easier to get into relationships and being more at ease and open/comfortable.

If you want comfortability, look for people who put planets in your 4th house and vice versa or conjunct your IC. Also their ASC conjunct your IC or vice versa. Also some harmonious moon contacts like trines and sextiles. Your moon conjunct their ASC or their moon in your first.
Moon in your 7th or your moon in their 7th.
People with a strong Saturn or Capricorn planets will also be your natural partners since you have Saturn in the 7th, same with people with strong Aquarius energy but Saturn is also the co-ruler of Aquarius so mainly look for someone with strong Capricorn/Saturn energy.

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astrosaz
Knowflake

Posts: 313
From:
Registered: Mar 2015

posted September 06, 2018 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astrosaz     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kirki:
With all respect ,that Sheila thing made me laugh a lot.I feel akward and stressed too in many circumstances

Haha yes, fortunately I can laugh at myself afterwards. A good sense of humor is needed because if you don't laugh you'll cry. I have to just own it.

quote:
I feel akward and stressed too in many circumstances .Moon marsin pisces and a very weird mc make me feel uncomfortable with people many times.After many years of trying to hide my stress i decided simply to say it and make a little fun with it.It helps me so maybe it could help you too.Stress doesnt identify you,so when you get rid of that you ll feel free to show your real character.Try it.Your synastry looks good to me,but others will tell you more about it.Stress is just a detail of your character,not whole package ,and its ok to show our vulnerability .Trust me ,everyone has personal struggles.


My social anxiety has decreased enormously after learning to just laugh at myself and also learning not to overthink things, most people tend to forget anything you say anyway haha. I used to pretend I was ill or busy so I didn't have to be in social situations. My general anxiety is still pretty bad though and I wouldn't say that to a crush because one of my flaws is my scorpio/leo false pride. I want to seem confident and astrology for some reason is one of those tools. Thank you for sharing your story and your advice, you're right stress isn't the whole package which makes me feel better, I just want someone's first impression of me to be positive.

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sassaqua
Knowflake

Posts: 771
From: Oz
Registered: May 2011

posted September 07, 2018 04:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your Sun is so close to Mercury (combust). You say things fast with knee jerk, and maybe that you after regret?

It's also square a challenged Uranus (Sag), which is opposite a challenged Moon (Gemini). Again, running with the mouth fast, and for shock purpose (Sag and Uranus). And the Moon is all your anxiety flowing through these challenged aspects.

Uranus is also the ruler of your Venus. So, the instinctive manner in which you act to attract love interests is: as above; running the mouth, being eccentric, blunt, and shocking even.

The Moon: I don't think the Moon is happy in the 10th, it feels vulnerable and expose. Again, also it is challenged, so even more uncertain and vulnerable. Makes you nervous. Then, probably you go to overdrive

Don't despair though, because you are learning now about how to fix all of this and then you will become an expert at managing your anxieties. Many of us go through it

Synastry: overall looks good. I think that it's true what they say though: let him chase you and try to lay a bit low.

How does that all sound? Any questions just ask

I read your post and felt like it was me. I think I've just blown another one too, and I'm lamenting: why did I text so much?

Can someone tell me how to put my synastry business up for analysis? So my life can get fixed too

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sassaqua
Knowflake

Posts: 771
From: Oz
Registered: May 2011

posted November 19, 2018 08:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

Any news here?

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kani
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted December 07, 2018 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always thought most people are nervous before the first date. Some more, some less and always depending on how hot you are for the other lol.
I was really hyper and nervous also before meeting a guy I only new online and found hot (on photos). Maybe mostly because I'm wary now with people I meet who I only knew from the internet due to not so great experiences in the past. When I found someone really hot I get awkward around them too. The guy I was really nervous about was awkward with me as well, most probably because of our intense energy.

How do the men act around you?

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Dumuzi
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Posts: 377
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted December 07, 2018 05:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dumuzi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
just find someone who can think awkwardness is endearing and you're good

i can find it cute, i can't be the only one, and if the guy is intuitive enough he'll see that youre nervous and not be a dick about it

that sheila thing is amazing btw, i wouldve just found it funny

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kani
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted December 07, 2018 05:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
just find someone who can think awkwardness is endearing and you're good

i can find it cute, i can't be the only one, and if the guy is intuitive enough he'll see that youre nervous and not be a dick about it

that sheila thing is amazing btw, i wouldve just found it funny


Well said.

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