Lindaland
  Interpersonal Astrology
  He left me for her! (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   He left me for her!
ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 09:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I`m quiet devastated right now. We`ve been together for 2,5 years and we`re expecting a child now. (due in December)

She`s some girl he knew back in highschool and recently found on facebook. Very romantic, I know. But he thinks this is it, and blew our whole relationship into the wind! He wants to be father to our child, but that`s it. He's soo in love with this woman! of course it hurt me a lot, although our friends and family are telling me that this can`t be anything serious. She`s just an uncomplicated, demure thing, and he`ll get bored after a while.

Now looking at their composite and synastry put a damper on my hopes. So many trines.. So many positive Saturn aspects.. looks like this might last after all. What do you think? Can anyone shed some light on this.
I will include their charts, and ours.

Their birthdays are only 12 days apart! They were born the same year. I don`t know her exact time of birth, though. So please ignore the Angles.

I was hoping that the conjuctions and the positive aspects between sun and moon are due to the closeness of they`re birthdays. Basically every outer planet aspect is the same as in his natal chart! I don`t know if this makes a difference in interpretation..

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 09:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He`s inside (birth time known)
She`s outside (bt unknown!)

For comparison, these are our charts..
Him inside (bt known)
Me outside (bt known)

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can you post the Davison bt you and him and him and her too?

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is the Davison between me and him (birth times known)

This is their Davison (her birth time unknown)

The orbs all go till 10 degree. It´s the regular astro.com setting.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not impressed honestly with what he has with this girl, maybe the Davison will explain their connection better. Her time of birth is unknown so maybe her moon squares his Pluto and trines his venus, that is the only thing that sticks out to me but I feel that is not sufficient to hold them long term. Then in composite they have Moon opposite Pluto but again that looks too wide to be felt in a composite, aspects in composite have to be very tight to be felt but it looks like perhaps tr Uranus activated the composite moon and perhaps that transit is why they are able to feel that moon opposite pluto. Nevermind they are able to feel it bc they have that aspect too in Davison and orbs can be wider in Davison to be felt.

That Sun conjunct South node in Leo is why they reconnected in addition to tr Uranus activating their moon. Her sun falls on their South node too, so she is more attached to the relationship, maybe she returned to him. Add that transit Venus retro is activating composite Pluto!!!!!! Did they just recently reconnected?

You know I dont feel this is going to last! I don't know if he is freaking out about having a baby with you or what. Maybe he needs closure with this girl and to resolve some unfinished business. With tr Uranus and Tr Venus rx activating their composite I don't feel this will stick and it won't be very stable if it lasts to some extent due to the nature of tr Uranus.

With Venus rx activating their pluto, sun conjunct South node and Moon in hard aspect to Pluto this feels karmic and more about working through past unresolved issues, getting closure and dealing with psychological issues/fears.

I think he is nervous about you two having a baby and ran back to someone familier that will force him to work on his fears of becoming a father with that moon opposite Pluto aspect in Davison.

They won't last imo but I don't think you two will work out either, I don't think I could get back with someone who left me for someone while I was pregnant. I would forgive him but I would not forget and never trust him again in that way. Hopefully with his moon in cancer he will be a good dad though, the kid deserves both of you so don't let your anger get in the way of that. However I would not get back with him.

IP: Logged

MarsSaturnDelight
Knowflake

Posts: 216
From:
Registered: Dec 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MarsSaturnDelight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Hopefully with his moon in cancer he will be a good dad though, the kid deserves both of you so don't let your anger get in the way of that. However I would not get back with him.

Love that.


IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:

The orbs all go till 10 degree. It´s the regular astro.com setting.

I know that but none the less the orbs have to be kept very tight in composites bc it is a midpoint chart to start with, not a natal chart like in Davison.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 12:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, thank you for your interpretation and opinion. I appreciate it.

No, apparently they reconnected some time this May! Venus wasn’t retro back then.

I understand what you’re saying about us not going to make it either. That’s what I’d tell a friend, too. I was so angry and hurt when he told me! I’m glad i’m past my anger now, I wouldn’t want my negative emotions to influence my baby. I’m still sad though. This relationship meant/means a lot to me. I’ve never been attached that much to someone before. I really miss the intensity and the gentleness that was between us, when we were intimate. It’s still something that prevails, although we’re not together. This makes it so hard for me to truly detach myself and move on. We’re of course not intimate anymore, but lately whenever he visits we always hug for a long time.. last time we fell asleep together in an embrace and he would caress my tummy and kiss my face. Yes this is what he does, while dating someone else! If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d probably couldn’t handle that.. but now I feel like, this is better than nothing at the moment.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 12:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
I know that but none the less the orbs have to be kept very tight in composites bc it is a midpoint chart to start with, not a natal chart like in Davison.

How tight would you set the orbs in Composite?

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Her sun in leo with moon in aquarius is addicted to drama, I mean come on, getting involved with someone whose girlfriend is pregnant!

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And another question:

Her Venus is conj his Juno/Mercury-conjunction.. is this a lasting aspect.. something that makes him think she’s somehow ideal for him?

His Venus is conj my Juno, and I feel very attached.

And would you interprete synastry aspects from outer planets between two people who’s birth times are very close, differently than from people who have a bigger age difference?

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
Hi, thank you for your interpretation and opinion. I appreciate it.

No, apparently they reconnected some time this May! Venus wasn’t retro back then.

I understand what you’re saying about us not going to make it either. That’s what I’d tell a friend, too. I was so angry and hurt when he told me! I’m glad i’m past my anger now, I wouldn’t want my negative emotions to influence my baby. I’m still sad though. This relationship meant/means a lot to me. I’ve never been attached that much to someone before. I really miss the intensity and the gentleness that was between us, when we were intimate. It’s still something that prevails, although we’re not together. This makes it so hard for me to truly detach myself and move on. We’re of course not intimate anymore, but lately whenever he visits we always hug for a long time.. last time we fell asleep together in an embrace and he would caress my tummy and kiss my face. Yes this is what he does, while dating someone else! If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d probably couldn’t handle that.. but now I feel like, this is better than nothing at the moment.


Ha he is already regretting it!

In mid May tr Uranus entered Taurus and it was opposing their composite Eros!!

It started back out of the blue for them while he was involved with you and it will end out of the blue too for them I feel.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Her sun in leo with moon in aquarius is addicted to drama, I mean come on, getting involved with someone whose girlfriend is pregnant!

Yes I know!! What normal person does that?
I asked him .. if she actually knows that i’m pregnant.
He said, ..Yes, she doesn’t mind much.

I don’t think she’s mean.. I just think she lacks common sense, empathy and life experience. I would never do that to anyone! This is a deal breaker for me, no matter how cute the guy. But then again, who knows what he actually told her about us.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
How tight would you set the orbs in Composite?

3 orbs I feel personally.

How long have you been pregnant?

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
And another question:

Her Venus is conj his Juno/Mercury-conjunction.. is this a lasting aspect.. something that makes him think she’s somehow ideal for him?

His Venus is conj my Juno, and I feel very attached.


That is the thing their Venus conjunct Juno is out of sign so he could still feel it but I feel that weakens the aspect.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
Yes I know!! What normal person does that?
I asked him .. if she actually knows that i’m pregnant.
He said, ..Yes, she doesn’t mind much.

I don’t think she’s mean.. I just think she lacks common sense, empathy and life experience. I would never do that to anyone! This is a deal breaker for me, no matter how cute the guy. But then again, who knows what he actually told her about us.


With moon in aquarius she might also come from a broken home and is repeating the script with him she grew up witnessing that was normalized for her as a child. Maybe she internalized subconsciously that she will not be the victim like her mother but will be the one who breaks up the home and gets the guy instead. She could be doing this all subconsciously, maybe her moon falls in her 12th house.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 01:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You do have a very nice Davison with him involving tight orbs, Moon conjunct Mars in cancer in the 11th opposite DC ruler Neptune conjunct 5th house cusp, Moon conjunct Mars trine Pluto which opposes Venus and sextiles Neptune.

You like to dream together and feel very close and intimate together, emotionally secure and attached, the Venus opposite Pluto with DC ruler as the point of thales makes you feel in love.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 01:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's so odd that a guy with moon in cancer and Venus in libra with DC in Capricorn would leave their girlfriend while pregnant for another woman!

Did he tell you he didn't want to have kids?

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 01:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bc you have Venus conjunct Mars in aries exact you probably want kids in a very primal way, like you wanted to just get pregnant and aries is impulsive and wants what it wants...but he with mars in virgo maybe wanted to take his time and over thinks stuff like that while you under think stuff like that, maybe he told you he didn't want kids yet but you ignored him so now he is freaked out and is back firing. She doesn't feel guilty about been with him bc she thinks you got pregnant on purpose when he told you he didn't want kids.

IP: Logged

athenaia
Knowflake

Posts: 1359
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted October 07, 2018 01:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
It's so odd that a guy with moon in cancer and Venus in libra with DC in Capricorn would leave their girlfriend while pregnant for another woman!

Did he tell you he didn't want to have kids?


This is also what I can't wrap my mind around. He even has ASC in Cancer! Maybe this pregnancy isn't playing out the way he wanted in his head, maybe he wanted the big house, white picket fence and wife before arriving to this step - pregnancy? And because Mars in Virgo can be notoriously picky, if this life situation isn't following the script he had in his head, he'd rather wash his hands of the situation? I'm baffled tbh, I would never have guessed such abhorrent behavior from this kind of chart.

My thought is that his Saturn Return is also spooking him. I'm born a year after him and I find myself engaging in self destructive behavior lately just because t. Saturn getting close to my natal Saturn feels so stifling/suffocating, I want to "spice" things up in life, not settle down.

So this is crazy. But Ana I'm so sorry you have to be put in this situation. You are so strong. Don't let him cuddle with you anymore.. let him feel emotionally iced out from you. Maybe this will be a wake up call to him.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 01:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
3 orbs I feel personally.

How long have you been pregnant?


The conception took place around April 7th/8th
My due date was estimated for Dec 30th.. but these estimations aren’t final. When everything goes well the baby might come 1-2 weeks before that, or 1 week after.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 02:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK he does have venus in Libra but it conjuncts his 5th house cusp and Venus rules his 5TH! So even though its in libra that energy is channeled in a 5th house type of way, I think he is addicted to feeling in love and the initial stages of a relationship, the honeymoon phase lasts between 6 months to two years and you two have been together for 2.5 years but with moon in cancer in the 2H and saturn ruling his DC conjunct DC I feel he would have more staying power.

If conception took place in early April and affair started probably around mid or late May with tr uranus activated their composite eros then yes he could very well be reacting to the news he is going to be a dad specially if he had told you he didn't want kids. He might have felt betrayed and decided to end it but still wants to be there for the kid. Or was feeling uncertain about the relationship lately since the honeymoon phase was over and upon that uncertainty the child was conceived so he may have felt the baby was a planned trap and ended it. One or the other I suspect.

IP: Logged

hypatia238
Moderator

Posts: 11463
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014

posted October 07, 2018 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^The ruler of his 5th house Venus squares Saturn on a angle. I would say that he feels a lot of anxiety around having children.

My partner has moon in cancer square saturn and the ruler of his 5th conjuncts Saturn and he didn't want kids. One time he came to pick me up at an after school program I worked at and I was in the main office with him and a bunch of kids came in, he actually looked pre-panicky like he was going to have a panic attack, scared to death honestly.

He never wanted kids so I didn't have kids because of that, I wanted the father to want to have a child as bad as I did otherwise I was not going down that road. In his mid 30s to late 30s he has decided he wants kids now but to me it feels to late, I am the one who doesn't want them now.

I could see how someone with 5th house ruler aspect saturn would feel that desire to have kids much later in life but would reject and not want kids earlier in their life bc it provokes too much anxiety in them to have that kind of responsibility, it feels overwhelming to them.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 02:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
It's so odd that a guy with moon in cancer and Venus in libra with DC in Capricorn would leave their girlfriend while pregnant for another woman!

Did he tell you he didn't want to have kids?


He wanted kids, but not at this time. He’s only 29 and not very settled in his life, like some others might be at that age. But his behavior towards me was quiet ambivalent the whole time. He never said “definitely not” and we both didn’t use birth control. The only thing we did, was the pull out method. In this week around April, after a major fight, we reconciled and made love so intensely that he came in me every single time. It was alright for me, because I didn’t mind getting pregnant. I was always open about that! That’s why his family is on my side, because everybody knew that I wanted a baby for quiet a while. So there was no tricking him into something. I would never do that.

The thing is, our relationship had it’s ups and downs from the start. We had epic fights. You might ask yourself, why wanting to start a family under such volatile conditions.. yes, but i’m also not the most reasonable person.

I just always knew that I loved him, no matter what. I was always hoping we would outgrow our issues. I was always willing to go the distance, because when all was good between us, it was really good! I’ve dated quiet a few men before, but I never felt that connected on a sexual and soulful level. Just a hug from him, feels more intense and loving than anything I’ve ever done with anyone else sexually. I melt in his arms. It’s that good.

But this also makes me very vulnerable. It’s also something that’s hard to maintain in everyday life. It bothered him more than me, because he had to pull away emotionally to function in his life. He couldn’t handle it for too long. That was our major problem, because I couldn’t handle the distancing. Because I know all that, I’ve been trying to work it out and be less dependent, less needy. I was very needy in our relationship and everybody knows that men hate that. I can imagine that this girl is very different.

IP: Logged

ana_bee
Knowflake

Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 07, 2018 03:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@athenaia

I also thought about his Saturn Return. And I also remember mine in 1st house. I was very depressed and confused around that time. Extremely self-conscious.

His is in 6th/conj DSC .. also conj his Uranus and Neptune. Hitting his Uranus he might feel trapped and conj his DSC .. I think this is about critically reevaluating his close relationships, and I apparently failed the test.

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2019

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a