posted October 18, 2018 03:21 PM            

My question is now, is there really no chance for us? In the other thread some of you said that it‘s basically a lost cause, because we have almost no direct aspects between charts and in the composite. The house placements are good though.. that‘s about it.

Then I‘m wondering how come I feel so attached to this man? We‘re expecting a child together, I‘m very close to his family .. we had a rocky relationship with many ups and downs but the good times were really intense and life changing, for both of us. He was always attracted to me, and we had always great chemistry together. The sex was amazing.. one of the reasons I feel this attached. For me it was perfect. Very loving, always intense. Everything about us felt so fated and meant to be. How come this doesn’t show in our charts that much?

Him inside/Me outside

composite

davison

posted October 18, 2018 03:52 PM            

With the davison the natals don't have to link to the chart, with the composite I feel it does or transits have to activate it. Your davison and composite are very similar so yes the Davison explains it even if the natals don't link back to it. Whoever links to the davison more will be more interested in the relationship I feel bc it aligns with who they are more.

posted October 19, 2018 02:48 AM            

I did understand what you wrote. I just had additional questions and thought that maybe someone wanted to give their input..

You wrote the natals don’t link back to the composite, but that’s not quite true. His Asc conj the comp Moon(3’) and compVenus(4’) and his Sun and Mars conj compAsc.. although with 5 degree a bit wider.

My Sun conj the comp Dsc, as does his Mc and my venus/mars/lilith conj the compJupiter. All very exact to 0-1 degrees.

You wrote that very close degrees are mandatory in composites.. so just by degrees my chart gets more activated.. although I’m wondering if 3-4 degrees is really that wide to not count, or be less significant especially when sun and Asc are involved...?

In synastry our Ascendants trine by 1’
My IC conj his NN
My Saturn his Vertex
My Venus his Juno

And his Saturn (as his Dsc ruler) gets activated by positive aspects to my chart.

We also have a Yod in composite and Davison! I thought this might be significant..

I am concentrating on my baby, my life and my family 24/7 . It’s not like i’m looking at our charts the whole day. This is the first time i posted here after a week absence. But yesterday I noticed these things and wanted to know, if someone could explain.

But of course you’re right real life beats astrology, and I know that some people here have much much better aspects in their synastry/composite and it still doesn’t work out. It’s just sometimes so frustrating.. I want to take astrology seriously but sometimes I also wonder if one only sees what they ultimately want to see.. there are so many variables to anything.

posted October 19, 2018 11:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ana_bee:
Hi Hypatia,

I did understand what you wrote. I just had additional questions and thought that maybe someone wanted to give their input..

You wrote the natals don’t link back to the composite, but that’s not quite true. His Asc conj the comp Moon(3’) and compVenus(4’) and his Sun and Mars conj compAsc.. although with 5 degree a bit wider.

My Sun conj the comp Dsc, as does his Mc and my venus/mars/lilith conj the compJupiter. All very exact to 0-1 degrees.

You wrote that very close degrees are mandatory in composites.. so just by degrees my chart gets more activated.. although I’m wondering if 3-4 degrees is really that wide to not count, or be less significant especially when sun and Asc are involved...?

In synastry our Ascendants trine by 1’
My IC conj his NN
My Saturn his Vertex
My Venus his Juno

And his Saturn (as his Dsc ruler) gets activated by positive aspects to my chart.

We also have a Yod in composite and Davison! I thought this might be significant..

I am concentrating on my baby, my life and my family 24/7 . It’s not like i’m looking at our charts the whole day. This is the first time i posted here after a week absence. But yesterday I noticed these things and wanted to know, if someone could explain.

But of course you’re right real life beats astrology, and I know that some people here have much much better aspects in their synastry/composite and it still doesn’t work out. It’s just sometimes so frustrating.. I want to take astrology seriously but sometimes I also wonder if one only sees what they ultimately want to see.. there are so many variables to anything.

---

I think you're answering your own question in a way, because you yourself are seeing impactful aspects in your charts (that you have had time to pluck out) that another person may have missed. There's obviously SOMETHING between you guys, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten to this point. This can be explained by everything you've just described and by the analysis that everyone else has already given you.

The real-life reality is, he left you for another girl at an extremely sensitive time. This should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about his true character, which you may or may not have known in your gut to be true. If you REALLY want to go there, I think everyone had already attempted to tell you that his charts with the other girl are stronger than yours. That's not to say that yours don't matter, but that it explains WHY he feels compelled by the other girl enough to cause this disruption. The truth is...instead of owning his hesitation and fear and coming to a resolution, he chose to uproot his life without any empathy for you or his unborn child. This is cruel.

posted October 19, 2018 02:29 PM            

Astrology only works through the filter of the real world as it currently is.

That's why if you are 20 year old male who happens to have SPECTACULAR synastry with a 70 year old woman, it is very unlikely they will have a relationship. Because we live in a world where 20 year old men are biologically programmed to want to be with fertile women and 70 yr olds are not fertile. Therefore the energies of the synastry between them will take that into account and they will probably not want to spend any time together. If they do, it will be in passing and without any romance no matter how much the synastry says it should be brimming with romance. Furthermore, the current world as it is right now looks down on such relationships so also for that reason as well the two would not be likely to start a romance.

posted October 19, 2018 02:31 PM            

My hope that this is some panic/over-reaction on his part, is what keeps me rather calm right now. Maybe I’m blind, stupid and naive.. but this is what I still want. What my heart wants.

posted October 19, 2018 02:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by margym0o:
I think you're answering your own question in a way, because you yourself are seeing impactful aspects in your charts (that you have had time to pluck out) that another person may have missed. There's obviously SOMETHING between you guys, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten to this point. This can be explained by everything you've just described and by the analysis that everyone else has already given you.

The real-life reality is, he left you for another girl at an extremely sensitive time. This should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about his true character, which you may or may not have known in your gut to be true. If you REALLY want to go there, I think everyone had already attempted to tell you that his charts with the other girl are stronger than yours. That's not to say that yours don't matter, but that it explains WHY he feels compelled by the other girl enough to cause this disruption. The truth is...instead of owning his hesitation and fear and coming to a resolution, he chose to uproot his life without any empathy for you or his unborn child. This is cruel.

I think all of our hearts break for you. You're grieving, and you're upset, and you have every right to be. I think it's human nature what you're experiencing - we humans desperately search for answers or clues when we can't make sense of something. It's not good for you or the baby to churn over this. I guess the question is...would you even want him back after all he's done? Could you ever fully trust him again?

---

posted October 19, 2018 02:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by manderin:
Jupiter changed signs very recently and a lot of changes have been happening for people. A lot of these changes are out of the blue surprises that shock us. Believe me I'm going through a huge life-changing surprise that came out of no where 2 weeks ago too. I know quite a few people who have depending on their charts. You'll get through this.

---

Transit Jupiter is in Scorpio at 25 degrees today. What do you mean Jupiter has changed signs? Confused.

posted October 19, 2018 03:54 PM            

Though people should use whatever zodiac for astrology they feel comfortable with.
Sidereal is literally what is going on in the sky so scientist/astronomer would tell you that Jupiter is actually starting to cross the Scorpio constellation now. Any astrologer that uses sidereal such as Vedic astrologers for example would agree with the astronomers because they too study the actual star map as it is. The tropical system is not the actual star map, but a concocted version that was created in recent history and does not match up with the actual sky as it is. Of course there's nothing wrong with using it for astrology if that's your preference, but I personally prefer sidereal because it works with some astrologers and with the astronomers too.

posted October 19, 2018 06:58 PM            

the connection hre is very aafectionate,lovi8ng and intensity physical though the mental connection is also a bit uot of the world as there might be very strong psychic connections. you might have common dreams with each other and at times your iife together felt paranormal.
the sun is squared to the vertex which gives a feeling of strength together. it can also add that sense of dstiny because you and he will have had similar coincides or synchronistic feelings or experiences.. similar but different in each your own ways.

but the single most upsetting aspectt is mars opposed to Neptune and square the composite node.
the mars/neptue connection if in a hard aspect like this and invariably with the nodal energy involved, he is no faithful. even now he has other interests. but you know this and still dream......
the venus/jupiter midpoint is square to psyche showing again your delicate desites.
eros inflames venus even more but is it enough...........
I think not because the sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to chiron and opposed to Uranus.

there is a undeniable white light of love but in between the peaks of passion and routine comings and goings, there is nothing but arguments.

you know each other too deeply to fail to cut the quick when arguments arise.

if you met last may, there was "demonic" edge to your meeting up. but dark and not a wy leading top love and light.

posted October 19, 2018 07:28 PM            

I don't have a lot to add about the synastry. The others are doing a good job

But, I really love the points that manderin made, and I find that really interesting to consider -

I'm not at all meaning you here ana_bee, but I just want to underscore manderin's point: social and biological influences are always underway in synastry. For example - someone might feel a great "connection" with someone, because the other person's looks are enticing, or they have something that person wants to get in some way - like wealth, fame, power, prestige, security (for some examples). And I always make a point of considering biology and "baby making" time in those earlier years too

My point is that it's all very interesting.

To you ana_bee, I said this accidentally on someone else's thread thinking it was you
(http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008103.html): your situation is very sad. Not uncommon but I feel for you. At the end of the day he's not being responsible to you. I don't mean to preach but, seeing as you are a human (not an astrological chart right now), it is my understanding that you will be under a lot of trauma presently.

And I hope that you don't remain stuck in it for too long.

My hope is that you ACTIVELY reach out to gather all the help and long term supports to see you through now, and the years ahead. I hope that you rise above the heartbreak and work now to make sure that the years ahead are joyful, and with reduced burdens. There are plenty of groups around: exercise programs, art classes, mother groups, to help you get very STRONG. I hope that you don't shy away from accessing every support that you can get. You need the strength these supports can give you to get through this. I hope that you don't isolate and try doing it alone.

It will only show him up, increase the chances that he will want to return to his family. But, by then, you'll probably have attracted someone better anyhow.

It's really the only empowered path you can take.

posted October 19, 2018 07:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by manderin:
It (Jupiter) actually shifted from Libra to Scorpio on the 11th of October, (sidereal).

Though people should use whatever zodiac for astrology they feel comfortable with.
Sidereal is literally what is going on in the sky so scientist/astronomer would tell you that Jupiter is actually starting to cross the Scorpio constellation now. Any astrologer that uses sidereal such as Vedic astrologers for example would agree with the astronomers because they too study the actual star map as it is. The tropical system is not the actual star map, but a concocted version that was created in recent history and does not match up with the actual sky as it is. Of course there's nothing wrong with using it for astrology if that's your preference, but I personally prefer sidereal because it works with some astrologers and with the astronomers too.

Edit: The tropical zodiac has a 23 degree difference so I guess in tropical it hasn't yet transited and is only about to enter saggitarius soon. Either way the change is near for everyone, for better or worse.

---

Thanks for clarifying. That is cool that sidereal matches astronomy.

posted October 19, 2018 07:37 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by sassaqua:

My hope is that you ACTIVELY reach out to gather all the help and long term supports to see you through now, and the years ahead. I hope that you rise above the heartbreak and work now to make sure that the years ahead are joyful, and with reduced burdens. There are plenty of groups around: exercise programs, art classes, mother groups, to help you get very STRONG. I hope that you don't shy away from accessing every support that you can get. You need the strength these supports can give you to get through this. I hope that you don't isolate and try doing it alone.

It will only show him up, increase the chances that he will want to return to his family. But, by then, you'll probably have attracted someone better anyhow.

It's really the only empowered path you can take.

Good luck

---

posted October 19, 2018 11:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by manderin:
"I want to take astrology seriously but sometimes I also wonder if one only sees what they ultimately want to see.. there are so many variables to anything."

Astrology only works through the filter of the real world as it currently is.

That's why if you are 20 year old male who happens to have SPECTACULAR synastry with a 70 year old woman, it is very unlikely they will have a relationship. Because we live in a world where 20 year old men are biologically programmed to want to be with fertile women and 70 yr olds are not fertile. Therefore the energies of the synastry between them will take that into account and they will probably not want to spend any time together. If they do, it will be in passing and without any romance no matter how much the synastry says it should be brimming with romance. Furthermore, the current world as it is right now looks down on such relationships so also for that reason as well the two would not be likely to start a romance.

Astrology is real, but you must remember that it only works within the boundaries of the real world as it is. The fact that he CHOSE to leave you at your most vulnerable is a reality that you cannot escape.

---

i cant imagine most people really caring that much about what other people think to not mess around if someone felt right regardless

society dictating that sort of thing for a person makes absolutely no sense to me

doesnt seem true for a lot of people tbh, especially when they just dont talk about it

posted October 20, 2018 02:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i cant imagine most people really caring that much about what other people think to not mess around if someone felt right regardless

society dictating that sort of thing for a person makes absolutely no sense to me

doesnt seem true for a lot of people tbh, especially when they just dont talk about it

---

Uranus ruling your 5th in action .

posted October 20, 2018 08:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
Uranus ruling your 5th in action :).

I have a friend with Uranus in the 5th square Sun and he would NOT Sl*t shame a girl ever, he feels people should just hook up if they want to, he doesn't care if his own wife is with other men and has no desire to get a divorce, he suspects that she has strongly. He cheats himself and reported he has never been faithful in his life with anyone. He said he remembers as early as a kid been this way, he says some people just can't be with just one person. I met him when tr Uranus entered my 5th this year. He is a pisces with moon in virgo, I am a virgo with moon in pisces, we both have venus in the 8th but he has it in aquarius and I have it in Leo, I feel like the universe put him in my path to mirror some stuff about myself so I can see myself more clearly. He is more detached than me though with moon in virgo and venus in aquarius, he is a more detached version of me. Super interesting guy though, I liked just hanging out with him, I enjoyed his personality, I liked him a lot as a friend tbh.

---

eros is the only thing i can remember being in aquarius in my chart, so there's that too

i do have a definition of cheating and i'm not cool with lying, but it's looser than most people's

sex just kind of happens sometimes and what makes it meaningful is the other person, otherwise it's just something that feels good and means nothing

what i feel with my fiancee during sex is very different then what i've felt for other people and the promises i've made her aren't ones i'd make to anyone else

i think that's what matters ultimately within a relationship, everything else is just life

i don't really know anyone with a virgo moon that i can think of

and i only know one pisces who has his ascendant and descendant on the same degree as me just reversed with a 1st house aries mars conjunct his ascendant

so we get along well

my fiancee has uranus conjunct her sun (saturn too) and an aquarius ascendant and ive ended up with a lot of people with strong aquarius and sag in my life

usually a lot of air or fire and when it is water it's nearly always scorpio

not a lot of earth signs in my life unless you switch to sidereal at all

posted October 20, 2018 09:00 AM            

i understand wanting things to be what you imagined they would be, and getting attached to the idea and a person you've been with a while

but at the same time really think about what he did to you, and think about how you're free now to find someone who values you and your child enough to not run off with someone else

maybe him and that other chick will work out, or maybe he'll eventually feel a strong pull towards someone else and do the same thing

some people are just like that, and that's not something you want for your kid anyway i'm sure

can't force someone to be the right one, and just because something felt fated doesnt mean it was meant to last

endings don't make anything less fated or meaningful either

posted October 20, 2018 11:05 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
eros is the only thing i can remember being in aquarius in my chart, so there's that too

i do have a definition of cheating and i'm not cool with lying, but it's looser than most people's

sex just kind of happens sometimes and what makes it meaningful is the other person, otherwise it's just something that feels good and means nothing

what i feel with my fiancee during sex is very different then what i've felt for other people and the promises i've made her aren't ones i'd make to anyone else

i think that's what matters ultimately within a relationship, everything else is just life

i don't really know anyone with a virgo moon that i can think of

and i only know one pisces who has his ascendant and descendant on the same degree as me just reversed with a 1st house aries mars conjunct his ascendant

so we get along well

my fiancee has uranus conjunct her sun (saturn too) and an aquarius ascendant and ive ended up with a lot of people with strong aquarius and sag in my life

usually a lot of air or fire and when it is water it's nearly always scorpio

not a lot of earth signs in my life unless you switch to sidereal at all

---

For me meaningless sex is pointless, my venus conjunct mars in leo in the 8th with mars ruling my IC cares about my lovers and needs sex to be meaningful even if is a causal friends with benefits fling. I will love that person I chose to let inside of me even if he is just a fu*kboy for a season.

posted October 20, 2018 09:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
For me meaningless sex is pointless, my venus conjunct mars in leo in the 8th with mars ruling my IC cares about my lovers and needs sex to be meaningful even if is a causal friends with benefits fling. I will love that person I chose to let inside of me even if he is just a fu*kboy for a season.

I would expect you to attract sun in capricorn or venus in Taurus or Virgo since you have Mars in Capricorn, venus trine mars can be very nice.

---

it is pointless, but that doesn't really mean much

i haven't loved my friends with benefits, they've been people i've chilled with who i've hooked up with because they wanted to and its come up

i don't really attract earth signs, not even as friends

with capricorns

i dated one, had sex with another

both ended terribly

i think one of them had a taurus moon or something in taurus i can't remember

the other two capricorns i've known were 2 guys who were both born on christmas eve

one's wife wanted to cheat with me, the other one's fiancee did

the pisces i know has a taurus moon if that counts

and ive only known two taurus suns

one was a guy i used to work with who used to walk up to me to hold my hand all day and give me hugs, but i never really got to know him we were just coworkers

the other was a friend,we had a mutual thing for each other but he was too jealous about my fiancee so nothing ever happened other than flirting and then we just kind of couldnt talk after a while

i found him boring eventually though, too stubbornly fixed on things that made him miserable no matter how many things he was handed

posted October 20, 2018 10:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
it is pointless, but that doesn't really mean much

i haven't loved my friends with benefits, they've been people i've chilled with who i've hooked up with

---

I get that, lots of guys are like that, Uranus rules your 5th so it fits you are more detached with casual sex and friends with benefits arrangements. I am pointing out why astrologically I am different in that regard that is all, Venus rules my 5th and Mars my IC, they conjunct in leo by 1 degree and fall in the 8th so I tend to care deeply about my lovers. I think Uranus transiting my 5th will teach me to be a little bit more detached though.

I remember when I was 14 travelling through Europe I would talk with the tour guy, this older gentleman from Spain. He told me that I was going to have lots of lovers and that I was going to care deeply about all of them. He some how picked that up about me just observing my personality and body language.

posted October 20, 2018 10:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
I get that, lots of guys are like that, Uranus rules your 5th so it fits you are more detached with casual sex and friends with benefits arrangements. I am pointing out why astrologically I am different in that regard that is all, Venus rules my 5th and Mars my IC, they conjunct in leo by 1 degree and fall in the 8th so I tend to care deeply about my lovers. I think Uranus transiting my 5th will teach me to be a little bit more detached though.

I remember when I was 14 travelling through Europe I would talk with the tour guy, this older gentleman from Spain. He told me that I was going to have lots of lovers and that I was going to care deeply about all of them. He some how picked that up about me just observing my personality and body language.

I guess he picked up on that I was a restless hopeless romantic who was in touch with her sexuality. I guess Venus conjunct Mars trine AC makes it easier to pick that up about me if you are observant enough as he was.

---

or he could just feel it coming off you

people feel certain ways and it can tell you more about them than anything else can

what an odd thing to say to a kid though

i dont think i know anyone with leo venus or mars

friend with benefits is an aquarius with a leo rising and i know a few leo suns and a leo moon

i dont usually pay attention to most people's charts in person

posted October 20, 2018 11:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
or he could just feel it coming off you

people feel certain ways and it can tell you more about them than anything else can

what an odd thing to say to a kid though

i dont think i know anyone with leo venus or mars

friend with benefits is an aquarius with a leo rising and i know a few leo suns and a leo moon

i dont usually pay attention to most people's charts in person

---

I was a teenager. I remember him fondly, he did not cross the line with me, like he knew there was a line and respected that. It was more like he could sense we had a connection and wished I was older.

I had a number of older guys when I was a teen that wanted to help me become aware of my power and of myself and yes it was inappropriate but I did not mind it and they never crossed a line with me, it remained friendly and I did not feel unsafe.

There was one incident when I was a child under age 10 though with the pool guy at our neighborhood and he was clearly grooming me and my neighbor caught him doing that and fired him, she then called me and said she noticed what he was doing and told me she fired him, she said she had noticed I was not going to the pool lately and that it was safe now to come back to the pool. I have great memories with my childhood friends in that pool, it was nice to feel safe to return to the pool.

posted October 21, 2018 08:05 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
I was a teenager. I remember him fondly, he did not cross the line with me, like he knew there was a line and respected that. It was more like he could sense we had a connection and wished I was older.

I had a number of older guys when I was a teen that wanted to help me become aware of my power and of myself and yes it was inappropriate but I did not mind it and they never crossed a line with me, it remained friendly and I did not feel unsafe.

There was one incident when I was a child under age 10 though with the pool guy at our neighborhood and he was clearly grooming me and my neighbor caught him doing that and fired him, she then called me and said she noticed what he was doing and told me she fired him, she said she had noticed I was not going to the pool lately and that it was safe now to come back to the pool. I have great memories with my childhood friends in that pool, it was nice to feel safe to return to the pool.

I think strong 8th house and pluto influence in the natal often generates some experiences of that nature at an early age but with me I can only remember feeling unsafe with that pool guy and thankfully he was stopped before it got out of hand. He never touched me but was psychologically trying to intimidate/scare me, e.g. grooming.

---

i wasn't implying anything, just commenting

i didnt think anything past what i said, because it wouldnt occur to me to say that to someone that young

14 year olds seem like kids to me

so i wouldnt bring that up with one, past that... i actually didn't think anything i don't make assumptions

i've had plenty of weird inappropriate **** come from people for idk...doesnt matter

i honestly can't remember that not being a thing

posted October 21, 2018 11:21 AM            

However when you are a teenager your prefrontal cortex is still developing, turns out that the prefrontal cortex is actually still developing till your mid 20s, this is why car insurance goes down when you turn 25. The prefrontal cortex rules executive functioning skills and impulse control. A teenager is not an adult, they are just starting to see the world as it is and need guidance and supervision, they are not financially independent but they are not a child either. I think is a disservice to them to treat them or see them as such. This is when they start to complain their parents don't listen to them or understand them bc parents have not upgraded their parenting to account that their child is now a teenager. This is when therapists come in to provide parenting support to help parents with this transition and change their parenting approach.