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Author Topic:   Shouldn’t the opposition be the best aspect in synastry/comp?
ana_bee
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posted October 31, 2018 04:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was thinking about this today. The whole world consists of dualities. Male - Female , North Pole - South Pole, Day - Night etc. This would make the opposition the perfect pairing. It’s two sides of the same medal, so to speak. They are different, but still the same. It’s not as ‘easy’ as a trine/sextile, but it should hold the most potential for development. I don’t know how to think of a conjunction yet.. this is probably the most intense, depending on which planets are involved. Sun conj Venus, Moon conj Sun... I get that... but two suns or two moons conjuncting would be boring after a while.. I imagine..

So why do we automatically think of conflict and incompatibility when analyzing a chart with opposing aspects? I find it odd that in almost every astrology textbook or website the opposition and the square get the same interpretation!!

Wouldn’t a square be the definition of 2 forces that can’t be reconciled, without much work and compromise? Still staying incompatible though.. ?

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HieronymusTush
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posted October 31, 2018 04:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for HieronymusTush     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I recently listened to a clinical psychologist mention most people veer towards friction and difficulty in relationships. This has been what I witness around me as well. So I think you are right, I think most people are quietly bored of peace, when it is not something actively attained.

How much friction and difficulty is another subject, though, and we do not know how much is going to be too much from the outset.

I believe an inconjunct is the definition of 'impossible to reconcile', though, and not a square. With the inconjunct, you constantly have to devise new manners of relating, and you never know on the outset whether that particular attempt at reconciliation is going to make you feel better or worse. It's an unexpected combo of a trine and an opposition. This has been my experience with two major relationships both defined by a deep need, and often inability to, reconcile.

I find communication is key with aspects of friction and tension, though. If Mercury is afflicted on top of the tense aspects, the relationship really can turn into hell I think. But when communication is present and open and clear, I personally find myself learning tons and tons in these relationships.

I find some people reserve professional life for friction, others friendship and family, and some prefer tension in romantic partners. For some, it is imperative to have romantic partners who are meek and mild and only a source of affirmation and familiarity.

I mostly blame my Gemini moon and a maddening desire to understand and learn for my tendency to choose relationships which need a lot of adjustment on both parties.

I'd love to hear how others define the particularities of opposition, square and inconjunction. Thanks for this thread!

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sassaqua
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posted October 31, 2018 05:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great question and discussion for sure.

I am with HieronymusTush on the inconjunct. Especially how you say the combination of "a deep need, and often inability to, reconcile." It can be really draining and, well, plain strange, and too - confronting! Because, on one hand you may both be doing your best, but on the other the facts are laid bare at some (foreboding) stage that you may as well be on other planets. And you just cannot go one more round of it. Which can result in a sense of alone-ness in the relationship, and an ultimate drift apart with the two just shaking their heads without even a lesson to gain from the experience. Except, maybe, just HOW different people can be.

What you pose regarding the opposite is spot on on the theory side - relationship by definition is knowing what you are in the face of what you are not. Theory of relativity 101.

And there lies the rub: knowing the self is often by differentiation and by discriminating who indeed you are not. When faced with who you are not (the opposition), it can result in a pushing away of that "other", a rejection of the not-self. Sometimes then the opposition can result in a repulsion. Polarities do push away.

In reality, yet again and always, it depends on the planets involved.. the rest of the charts, and also the natals. If the opposition is too strained (wrong planets, weight of synastry, etc), the dynamic reaches a threshold beyond appreciating who they are, and who you are, to a realm where you cannot merge the psyches, or lives in a practical manner. There's just too much difference.

On the other hand, in contrast, it can be argued that knowing yourself is through seeing similarity in another. But, if there's too much of that, there's no differentiation between the two people to know the self as separate from the other.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted October 31, 2018 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I completely agree with you. I've had someone's Cancer Moon conjunct mine and it wasn't as nice as I thought it would be. In fact, I felt more distant with that guy than I do with my boyfriend that has Capricorn moon. It's like we complete each other. He offers me a different perspective and I offer that same thing back.

I also prefer a man's Mars sign to be opposite mine because I feel like the sex is very thrilling. The tension it builds always leads to a great release.

I also like Mercury and Venus oppositions. Gives a me a good perspective too.

The only opposition I don't like is sun-sun opposition.

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sassaqua
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posted October 31, 2018 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's interesting for sure.

It depends on the natals.. the personality. And also your life history I think too.

I think I've had my fill of friction at this stage. Also, I put it down to my Moon in Libra, and my 12H placements. I like something smooth, and easy with a bit of merging into each other.

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capricorncheriscty
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posted October 31, 2018 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for capricorncheriscty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I noticed the opposition couples last for a very long time, longer than most couples, but they eventually fizzle out after a decade or two or so because there is too much opposition and it is hard to find common ground. And you need common ground for a til death do us part relationship. The opposition couples must have important conjunctions to back it up to keep them on common ground. Like luminary conjunctions or maybe node conjunctions, I guess it depends. Those are the couples that have a better chance of lasting very long.

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capricorncheriscty
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posted October 31, 2018 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for capricorncheriscty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And I agree with sassaqua that it just depends on your own natal charts. Typically, the cardinal people drift towards opposition-based relationships more than others. Because they are about tradition and tradition is based in opposition, as you said, it is male and female, black and white, up and down for them. But if there is nothing grounding those oppositions it will be like when you put two magnets of the same side together and they just keep pulling apart over time because there is so much opposition and not enough sameness and common ground.

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sassaqua
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posted October 31, 2018 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by capricorncheriscty:
I noticed the opposition couples last for a very long time, longer than most couples, but they eventually fizzle out after a decade or two or so because there is too much opposition and it is hard to find common ground. And you need common ground for a til death do us part relationship. The opposition couples must have important conjunctions to back it up to keep them on common ground. Like luminary conjunctions or maybe node conjunctions, I guess it depends. Those are the couples that have a better chance of lasting very long.

Yes.. this is what I've seen and read too.

I've contemplated this idea for some years. I've come to understand that compassion and empathy are key to reaching high-end, spiritual, non-self-serving love. This is essentially Neptune: the higher octave of Venus. Venus is a vain, earthy love that is much based on what we can get from the relationships. And what is reflected back from the other to serve our own self esteem and self worth. Which is all fine mind you.

If someone is so different (ie the opposition) and we see none of ourselves being reflected back that can give us our feedback on our own self worth, our vain desires will not be met. And this is one element of how the breakdown of the relationship can occur; when we are "not getting what we want" out of the relationship.

Alternatively, if the people are "evolved" (or resigned and just too tired, lol), at some point, potentially, the people move past the Venus level of "getting from the other" and move instead to a more compassionate (Neptune) stance of - loving the other for that they are them on their own. And a wonder and an appreciation for the difference in the other takes some precedence.

But you pretty much have to be a monk or a nun to love someone in this manner in reality. Or even have the time to contemplate such matters while living in this world, and doing normal things. And, as Cap allures to above, living in a practical world where we must get stuff done, we need that common ground in the relationship from where to function as a unit in this world.

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comdoc
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posted November 01, 2018 11:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for comdoc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ana_bee, Conjunction is the most powerful aspect: it's included in both dynamic and easy aspect groups.

Opposition aspect can be attractive, depending on the planets involved. My Aries Sun is definitely attracted to Libra Moon {I was happily married to one}.

I agree with Hieronymus Tush and sassaqua regarding the inconjunct aspect: almost irreconcilable differences, with both quality and element at odds.

Don't forget to take House placements, Sign rulerships, and planetary characteristics into account when comparing two charts.

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