posted November 19, 2018 04:06 AM            

I personally find Saturn hard aspects the most difficult to deal with as it wears down the individuals in the r/s with all good feelings gone. The last r/s I had with 3 Saturn squares ended up with me hating the guy and even after I put down my hatred, the only feeling left was just indifference.

How about you? Pls share your experiences.

posted November 19, 2018 09:52 AM            

Copy/Paste

I want to stay away from relationships with Saturn, Uranus or Neptune forming stressful aspects to personal planets in composite. From experience I find those much worse than hard aspects from Pluto.
Pluto is possessive, manipulative and leads to power struggles. But to me Pluto is at least honest and due to his intensity there’s substance and something to work with. These people will drive you to the edge at times, but the relationship will never be dull or lack emotion. In the depths there’s always the promise to discover, to transform and to heal.

Saturn squares on the other hand lead to loneliness and emotional coldness; a constant disconnect .. i’m too sensitive for that

Uranus squares lead to instability; the relationship is constantly compromised, there’s always something that disrupts it; it’s a hot and cold aspect.

Neptune squares lead to delusions and deception; one morning you wake up next to someone you don’t recognize; at the end of the relationship you wonder what trip you were on.. was it all for real? Where did the love go?

This is my experience.

posted November 19, 2018 10:15 AM            

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Originally posted by ana_bee:

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Hi Ana, thanks for your sharing. In your exp, how many squares are too many?

I'm like you... I need passion and closeness in a r/s. I'm currently in a r/s with some Pluto squares in composite and I'm liking the intensity...but so many ppl talked about it being twisted & unhealthy so I'm also fearful. But I'm thinking it cannot be as challenging as Saturn squares, haha..

posted November 19, 2018 12:14 PM            

Maybe it also depends on if the squared planets are supported by more favorable aspects as a relief and escape line, or not.

posted November 19, 2018 02:14 PM            

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Originally posted by ana_bee:
I don’t know how much is too much. I don’t know if there’s a general rule, or if it’s an individual thing.

Maybe it also depends on if the squared planets are supported by more favorable aspects as a relief and escape line, or not.

I can also work with sun square Pluto in composite. I have it with both my parents, I know the energy. My chart is also Plutonian, so it wouldn’t shock me, the way a Saturn square might.

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posted November 19, 2018 03:23 PM            

Everything else from that point becomes manageable, because both jupiter, saturn and neptune you can work with.

posted November 20, 2018 12:35 AM            

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
Sun or venus square/opposite uranus is a huge red flag in my opinion, if you're looking for a longterm relationship. It helps if it is part of a more positive pattern, or one of the involved also have it in their natal, but overall it kind of puts an end-date to the relationship.

Everything else from that point becomes manageable, because both jupiter, saturn and neptune you can work with.

Maybe venus square saturn kind of puts an end-date as well to the relationship, because you eventually will build up an emotional wall between you, but all the other aspects is something you can work on, as long as you have other supportive aspects in my opinion.

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posted November 20, 2018 12:47 AM            

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Originally posted by ana_bee:
There is a high emotional investment. The connection is deep and binding.. at least it feels that way, when together. It’s not easy.. it’s not just a loving supportive bond, there is something heavy to it. Power and control are big issues. It’s like both partners, although they love each other, can also be their strongest opponents. They will fight a lot at home, but usually show a strong front to the outside world. It’s a very protective union, sometimes suffocating, because this aspect is about ‘owning’ the other person.

How this plays out, then depends on the individual charts. Two scorpios, earthy, watery or fiery individuals can handle this kind of intensity much better than air-signs. I don’t think someone with a lot of Gemini or Libra in their chart, would tolerate that kind of tension for too long. They would want to break free, because they need space to breath.. they would prefer something that’s light and friendly. Just cordial companions, having a good time. You won’t get this, with this aspect. At least not for long.

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As in they keep trying to change each other to be someone they're not? Can you give me one or two e.gs? I've been trying to find out real experiences with this aspect as I've this with my guy. How different is this with the other aspects that cause fights like Moon square Mars, Mars square Pluto?

posted November 20, 2018 12:59 AM            

I like Saturn, on the other hand. Brings stability and commitment. I'd rather have that than a fleeting romance.

posted November 20, 2018 01:37 AM            

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I don't like hard aspects from Neptune unless other aspects alleviate it overall. I don't like the lies and the fantasy that comes with it. I like to see my relationship for what it is and if there are any problems, I would like to see them too so I can fix it. I find Neptune in the composite can cause instability, even more so than Uranus. This is because once the illusion fades, you're left with nothing, but the fool you've made out of yourself. The relationship also usually falls apart after the disillusionment. With no strong Saturn contacts, there is no hope for it.

I like Saturn, on the other hand. Brings stability and commitment. I'd rather have that than a fleeting romance.

Also, I'd avoid any 12th house planets in the composite. Just the worst.

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posted November 20, 2018 02:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I don't like hard aspects from Neptune unless other aspects alleviate it overall. I don't like the lies and the fantasy that comes with it. I like to see my relationship for what it is and if there are any problems, I would like to see them too so I can fix it. I find Neptune in the composite can cause instability, even more so than Uranus. This is because once the illusion fades, you're left with nothing, but the fool you've made out of yourself. The relationship also usually falls apart after the disillusionment. With no strong Saturn contacts, there is no hope for it.

I like Saturn, on the other hand. Brings stability and commitment. I'd rather have that than a fleeting romance.

Also, I'd avoid any 12th house planets in the composite. Just the worst.

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Well, but at least neptune is a planet that can be very romantic when involved in synastry/composite, and although there is the tendency to put each other on a piedestal, there is also the tendency to forgive for ones mistake.

posted November 20, 2018 10:34 PM            

My own past r/s has Saturn + Neptune hard aspects to a Sun-Merc-Mars stellium. Broke up after 4mths. Quarrels non-stop. When he pursued me he was the nicest gentleman. When we were officially together he became a tyrant. I was left really disillusioned.

Learning point: both relationships contained 3 or more hard aspects from each outer planet. So I think you may be able to survive one or two hard aspects, but three or more is really an uphill task.

posted November 21, 2018 09:50 AM            

The composite with my husband has Saturn/Pluto midpoint forming a tsquare with Nessus and Mercury/Psyche, imagine the sensitive connection being tainted by the cold, harsh and cruel sides of the negative elements.

In all the years we're together, there has always been this cold critical lack of support, more from his side specially at first. I was surprised, but perceived it as normal and my fault because I grew up in an emotionally cruel and harsh family where lack of support and even criticism is normal. And then society often points fingers at women who are just being too sensitive or needy.

But as the years go by I finally understood what is going on. Of course we are all responsible for our own happiness, but we don't deserve to be criticise or treated critically when we are vulnerable; and the chart's symbolism is quite clear which helped me to see things clearly now instead of continuing to internalise all as my fault.

Then on my side resentment and emotional coldness due to lack of connection also built up. Feeling alone in our relationship, I'm learning how to deal with all these feelings that are so cold and harsh inside. Nessus-like. Natally I have Saturn/Pluto square Nessus so I'm familiar with this energy; maybe this is why I also feel positive that I can overcome it, because I'm reaching more awareness about it.

I guess we tend to attract patterns we have or is familiar with, our baggages influence what we might get into.

Another hard aspect is Moon square Neptune. If anything, Neptune confuses and hides. Worse than figuring out how to deal with a situation is figuring out what is even there that is not alright.

Pluto squares Sun in our composite, and all these forms patterns, along with Chiron, that shows pain and issues.

I guess that it's hard to pintpoint to one aspect as the overall can influence how bad the outcome can be.