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Author
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Topic: Commitment-phobes natal chart aspects
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virgoscorpio
Knowflake Posts: 58
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted December 22, 2018 08:55 PM
  
I have always been a commitment-phobe in relationships, and I usually get bored and move on from whomever I'm with after around a year. In my twenties this was fine because I wasn't ready to settle down and neither were the people I was with.Now that I'm in my thirties and want to have a family it's becoming more of a problem because I do want to settle down and the people I'm dating want to commit and get married. I have Uranus and Neptune in my seventh house, and from what I've read about these placements they might be a big reason for my commitment-phobia. I always have this "grass is always greener" attitude and I worry that I'll get stuck with the wrong person when there's someone better out there. I my expectations are also too high, which might be the Neptune. What natal aspects can cause commitment-phobia and can they be overcome? Anyone else struggle with this? IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 3328
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted December 22, 2018 09:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by virgoscorpio:
I have always been a commitment-phobe in relationships, and I usually get bored and move on from whomever I'm with after around a year. In my twenties this was fine because I wasn't ready to settle down and neither were the people I was with.Now that I'm in my thirties and want to have a family it's becoming more of a problem because I do want to settle down and the people I'm dating want to commit and get married. I have Uranus and Neptune in my seventh house, and from what I've read about these placements they might be a big reason for my commitment-phobia. I always have this "grass is always greener" attitude and I worry that I'll get stuck with the wrong person when there's someone better out there. I my expectations are also too high, which might be the Neptune. What natal aspects can cause commitment-phobia and can they be overcome? Anyone else struggle with this?
Venus/Uranus for commitment phobia I have this and I struggle with this.
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Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 523
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted December 22, 2018 09:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Venus/Uranus for commitment phobia I have this and I struggle with this.
depends on the aspects, i have the sextile and i've been with my fiancee 14 years, granted we're somewhat open and still not married and have no kids but we've been living together nearly our entire relationship and all that IP: Logged |
Brenda_S
Knowflake Posts: 286
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted December 22, 2018 10:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Venus/Uranus for commitment phobia I have this and I struggle with this.
I have the opposition. Venus rules my fifth and sits in my first. And although generally you're right, I still believe that it'd be different with a person you don't mind their presence of. AKA someone you like. What are the chances that you have just not yet found someone you'd like to settle with? (You seem to boast about it a lot, I'm really curious how you think it would be with a guy you're actually interested in?) IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 3328
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted December 22, 2018 10:56 PM
I have a tight square I don't know if I'll ever get married.IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio
Knowflake Posts: 58
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted December 22, 2018 11:11 PM
I know a guy with an exact venus-uranus square and he did get married but he ended up being very unhappy. He's engaged now again so hopefully for him this one will work (I have my doubts though based on observing his past relationship track record).IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 3328
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted December 23, 2018 12:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by virgoscorpio:
I know a guy with an exact venus-uranus square and he did get married but he ended up being very unhappy. He's engaged now again so hopefully for him this one will work (I have my doubts though based on observing his past relationship track record).
Has he always had a difficult time staying with one person? Perhaps he can just be in a relationship and not get married? For me the square is 2 degrees. My ex of 9 years wanted to get married. But I didn't want to and ended things with him. I don't want to end up being alone. But I'm just not sure marriage would be right for me. I wish I could meet someone who wouldn't mind having an arrangement.IP: Logged |
Brenda_S
Knowflake Posts: 286
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted December 23, 2018 04:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Has he always had a difficult time staying with one person? Perhaps he can just be in a relationship and not get married? For me the square is 2 degrees. My ex of 9 years wanted to get married. But I didn't want to and ended things with him. I don't want to end up being alone. But I'm just not sure marriage would be right for me. I wish I could meet someone who wouldn't mind having an arrangement.
If you don't mind me asking, was all good throughout these years? Like I find it hard to believe that marriage was the reason you wanted out. You were committed enough to stay in it for this long of a time... So just curious if it was in fact marriage, or something he did or something you didn't like about him that you weren't gonna commit to fully. IP: Logged |
Brenda_S
Knowflake Posts: 286
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted December 23, 2018 04:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I have a tight square I don't know if I'll ever get married.
Based on this comment it seems like you're letting Astrology predict your future. You're like 'whatever I have the tight square to Uranus so be prepared to have your time wasted and heart broken'. You're just flowing along to wherever the wind takes you. I guess you feel that you have enough years in your life to let that play a large part of it and have enough left to make it right. IP: Logged |
Brenda_S
Knowflake Posts: 286
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted December 23, 2018 04:48 AM
BTW my Dad's Uranus at 25 degree squares his Sun (DC ruler) and Venus at 25 degree and his Mars and Mercury (fifth house ruler) at 27 and 28, respectively.His AC Aquarius. On top of that, his stellium is in Gemini. Based on this he probably never would've been in a relationship for more than several hours. My parents are married for 30 years now. I'm pretty certain he hasn't cheated. Yeah not gonna say he's very 'relationship-y' but still, he hasn't wanted out yet. IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 23, 2018 05:40 AM
I would add Moon in 3rd here too. Where is your Moon?IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 3328
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted December 23, 2018 06:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Based on this comment it seems like you're letting Astrology predict your future. You're like 'whatever I have the tight square to Uranus so be prepared to have your time wasted and heart broken'. You're just flowing along to wherever the wind takes you. I guess you feel that you have enough years in your life to let that play a large part of it and have enough left to make it right.
I'm saying this because it's true my relationships are unconventional. I wasn't happy being in a long term relationship. I remember crying telling my ex something was missing in regards to our relationship. It's not that I'm letting Astrology predict my future. I am just being honest with myself I don't know if I'd be happy if I were to get married. The everyday routine would bore me. I know this from being with my ex. After being with him I got into a long distance relationship. Which I felt a lot happier.IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio
Knowflake Posts: 58
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted December 23, 2018 09:36 AM
My struggle is that I think everyone I've dated so far wasn't right for me either because the chemistry wasn't there or they weren't mature enough.I think with the "right" person I could settle down, but my struggle is not overthinking things and wanting to bolt when I get bored or I think they're not right for me. Because no one can be exactly right for someone all the time and there will always be challenges. I just think that, possibly due to my natal placements, I have a harder time sticking through the challenging parts of a relationship than some people. IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 3328
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted December 23, 2018 09:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by virgoscorpio:
My struggle is that I think everyone I've dated so far wasn't right for me either because the chemistry wasn't there or they weren't mature enough.I think with the "right" person I could settle down, but my struggle is not overthinking things and wanting to bolt when I get bored or I think they're not right for me. Because no one can be exactly right for someone all the time and there will always be challenges. I just think that, possibly due to my natal placements, I have a harder time sticking through the challenging parts of a relationship than some people.
Yeah sometimes I think maybe if I found the right person I could. But it seems to be impossible to find that person. Do you have Venus/Uranus in your chart? Perhaps it's not an issue of you bailing when things get rough. If the person isn't right for you? That's how it seems to be for me. After my ex of 9 years I met and started having a long distance relationship with this guy I met via Facebook. We've been involved for five years now I guess if I'm honest I am kind of tired of it. Yet I don't want to cut him off completely. But now I feel like I want something else with this new guy. Does that mean I'm bailing out when things get difficult? Or that maybe the new guy would be better for me? It's confusing but I know I can't do this forever. Eventually I'll have to stick with someone if I do infant want to be married.IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio
Knowflake Posts: 58
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted December 23, 2018 05:01 PM
I have venus semi-square uranus by 3 degrees, so kind of wide. I think for me if the relationship doesn't grow that's when I really want to leave. If we are growing together as a couple and learning together and making progress on the relationship I'm fine. It's weird though, usually in my past relationships I would just wake up one day and want out. And once I want out there's no way I can stay. I also never want to go back once I leave. It's as if all the romantic feelings I had for the person just suddenly disappear one day. I sense though that if I pushed through that feeling that they would return with the right person. IP: Logged |
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