posted December 29, 2018 02:37 AM            

Hi All! I need some advice on my relationship.
I'm really confused and don't know whether it's me or whether it's him, or whether it's just both of us failing to understand each other.

So...... I'll start with the good things I guess lol
We've been together for 2.5 years. For the first 6 months we were physically together, living in the same city. However he had to move temporarily and the past 1.5 years have been long distance.
I know that any long distance relationship can be hard, and we've had some problems, but we're very much in love, we've always been extra close ever since we met and we've made plans to get married, have kids and spend our lives together. There has never really been a question about this in his mind or mine. We both seriously talked about all of this and we both wanted and want to be together forever.
In October next year we're supposed to be buying a house and moving in together..... but until then..... it's still long distance.... and...

yeah.... ummmm this is kind of hard to talk about, because in a sense it seems like something that should not be such a big issue... but it's become an "issue"... and it makes me question things between us at times.

Basically... most of the time we've been together we've never really had serious arguments. I usually talk to him for hours and we completely understand each other and he is very supportive.

But a few months ago that changed... We had a major blow up... We eventually made up... Then again, a couple of months after that we had another fight... and again made up... and now at Christmas (of all times) we're in the middle of another messy situation.

All of these fights have more or less been on the same topic... and every time it just goes on and on and on... He will not understand my side.. and I absolutely do not understand his side... He's a Taurus so he can be stubborn... and he will just continue on telling me what his point of view is... and acting as though he is obviously "right" and my take on things is obviously "silly" or "unfair" on him.

We are both working two jobs at the moment, so we've been pretty busy but still talk for several hours at night.
The first argument started over photos.... (I know.. it sounds petty right? But things have escalated to something so much crazier than you could ever imagine)...

At first he was just seemingly "annoyed" that I'm not sending him enough photos and he misses me.... so OK.. fair enough. I sent more photos! I'm a pretty artistic person with all my Neptune influence (and actually so is he.. we both like to draw)... I usually play with my photos, with the lighting, use different effects etc...
Whenever I sent him photos .. he always seemed happy.. he always complimented me and everything seemed fine...

But everything... was NOT fine.

So, when I really never expected this... he wrote me an email of about three pages explaining that he just can't deal with what I am doing anymore... That he really wants to see me... and feel as though I am there with him... and that the photos I am sending him don't look "real". This just went on and on... asking me whether I am doing this intentionally to hurt him, and totally blowing things out of proportion.

We argued over this because I took offence at his attitude problem and the way he handled the situation - plus sending me such an aggressive email over this, instead of just talking to me. It seemed like a petty thing from my perspective... whereas to him this was (and is) a major problem.

My impression was that the thing that bothered him most were the filters I used... and that he wanted more "natural" photos - so that he sees me more clearly I guess...

So I stopped using filters - and sent him normal photos and videos... for the next two months. Again he acted like he loves my photos, thanked me, complimented me, told me he loved me.. never really acted upset...

And again.. a while after... he blew up, out of the blue.
Again about the photos...

This time his tone was more disappointed and depressed.. saying "I've told you about this before.. and how much it means to me... and no matter what I say you keep doing the same thing etc etc"
Again he was saying that he is very hurt because he wants to see me... he's scared of losing me.. he misses me.. and he can't really see me properly because I'm using effects and filters.

So I said at the time: "Actually I have changed! And I haven't used any filters at all... and I am completely stunned at what you're talking about right now and why you're so hurt over this..once again"

He didn't believe me back then.. because he kept telling me the pictures are obviously blurry... that there are blurry parts... that he zooms in on my eyes and can't see my eyes properly.. that I'm doing something to the photos .. That he has read articles about iPhone X (which I have) and it's supposed to have a great camera... but my photos are blurry and what not.

Honestly you guys! I did nothing to the photos at that point. They were just normal photos like you would see on anyone's instagram.

So I tried to explain to him... that what he wants.. are some sort of perfect, high resolution, professional photos... that would be taken in a professional photo shoot - and I am not a model.. to have that equipment available on a daily basis.
Nor do I have the time to spend hours... find the best lighting and angles to get the best possible photos - for him to be happy......

I was really just starting to get so frustrated with the problems he has with my photos....

And even more frustrated with his attitude of being totally quiet and pretending he likes the photos I'm sending .. and then always blowing up about it months later... in an arrogant tone like "well I have been patient and I've put up with this for so long... and its hurting me... and you're still doing it"

So we went in circles arguing about this.... him saying I'm basically lying and don't really love him.. and don't want to spend any time taking nice photos because I don't have time for him... and me saying that actually I have spent time, and I tried my best.... but I'm not a professional model and don't have photographers following me around with $3000 high resolution cameras.

Eventually... he believed that I was not lying about anything.
But then he took it upon himself to start giving me advice on "how to take better photos"...... which only ticked me off all the more and created more arguments.

I understand that being long distance, photos, videos, chatting and Skyping - is all we have right now... and I understand that he just wants to see me I guess... but the way he is acting is very frustrating and upsetting...

Fast forward to this Christmas.... things got a bit uglier... because this time, he again started an argument over photos... but now... he wants...

wait for it...

Nudes.

I don't want to hurt him... I don't want to make him feel bad... But this is just not something I feel comfortable with doing. I know many people have done this when they were long distance. I definitely trust him with my photos, so that's not the issue. But so many things can happen online, like things being leaked or seen by accident... and I just don't like the idea of it at all.

His behaviour this time around has really topped the charts in terms of the sheer emotional break down that he has had over the fact that I haven't (and probably won't) send him nude photos. Picture.. a 5 year old at the local mall, if his parents tell him he can't have his favourite chocolate ice cream... and he throws a tantrum - kicking, screaming and crying..
That's about the level of the drama I'm facing these days.
He has said things to me like.. "you're emotionally abusing me" "this is not normal.. we can't have sex.. so we should do other things that are sexual like sending photos"... "this is torture.. you're torturing and abusing me"

I agree that we should do more sexual things. I miss him too on that level... However.... I actually got a mild concussion these holidays. It is not serious but it's been making me dizzy and a bit nauseous... and I'm just not at all in a sexual mood. I asked him to be a bit patient until I feel better in a couple of weeks... but he did not take well to that, because he feels lonely and ... yeah..

I'm not sure if this is his Pisces mars or something else... but for whatever reason he feels very guilty about masturbating to porn. I have never had a problem with this and I've never asked him not to watch porn... but he sees it as betraying our relationships in some way. And he feels like my not sending him photos... puts him in a really bad situation ...

My gut feeling is that ... because of the second job he has involves a lot more social contact... he has probably been around more attractive women than usual... and maybe feels guilty about being attracted to other women. But I really resent the fact that he is projecting this onto me.. as though it's my fault that he is attracted to other women... because I haven't sent him nudes.
He never said this ^ but this my feeling and impression.

Anyway.. I'm really tired fo arguing on and on about photos... I also have a mild concussion as I said and I'm not in this mood at all.... I don't want this to affect our relationship. I do want us to be sexual in some way... but I don't necessarily think that we have to send nude photos for that..

My biggest problem and the reason I'm very hurt, is the way that he has handled this. He just seems very childish and unreasonable.. and he won't really hear me out... He is saying that I am the one being childish... sigh..

It's just hard to understand why this has blown up so much... We are very close emotionally and have a an awesome mental connection.. and I've always been really physically attracted to him (and so has he)..
But I think being long distance is getting to him. I don't like feeling pressured into something and emotionally manipulated... and I don't like that he doesn't understand how frustrating all these "photo-arguments" have been for me...
When I tried to explain.. he basically said "No. I'm not listening. I just don't care... Because this is not ok"

I've never seen him be so unreasonable and keep cutting me off in conversation. It's very upsetting and off putting... But I'm in love and don't want this to ruin everything that is going so well in our relationship.. and all our plans for the future.

I asked him whether he would behave this way in real life... if he was "in the mood" and I was unwell at the time... I asked if he would pressure me and throw a tantrum over it... He said "No" that he would never do that... because in real life, I would be there.. he would see me every day... and he would have no reason. But when he can't see me at all.. and I'm always sending him "blurry photos" (which is ridiculous! because they weren't blurry) he gets annoyed.....

I would really like your advice about these arguments... I'm not sure what to think anymore. Is this some sort of power play? Is it even about the photos really? I'm lost and I'm so tired.... I can't really have a normal conversation with him right now, because he would keep bringing this up - so I told him I want space for a few days while my concussion heals.

I'll post the composite and synastry charts in the next post. I'm sorry that this is so long.. but I'm just thinking about this on and on and I'm upset that it's having such a negative on our relationship. I don't like the side to his personality I've seen through these arguments .... and he makes me feel "threatened"...
Like he is threatening a breakup if he doesn't get his way....

I told him this also.. I asked if he was breaking up with me.. and he said no, that it never crossed his mind, but took my comment the wrong way like I'm implying that I want to break up.

sigh.... It's just frustrating... I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking... Help!
Please Help!

posted December 29, 2018 06:43 AM            

but look, right now TR Saturn is squaring your guy's Venus. THis is a very tough transit and makes one feel unloved and alone. When he tells you that - he really feels it! TR Saturn is on his Venus right now. Be gentle to him and more understanding having in mind that this transit makes him extra sensitive. And the memories of the pain remain long after, even thou the transit will be ending soon, in about 2 weeks for him. TR Saturn also is squaring your Sun at the same time as it squares his Venus right now. I had this too in my relationship as we had a sun-venus opposition and TR Saturn squared it at the same time. UGH. the arguments and the ponds of tears from both sides....
Also, shortly after those transits, TR Saturn will start a conjunction to your Moon. I had this a few years ago, it stinks. I think this upcoming Saturn-Moon transit in March will make you realize how he felt when he complained he was feeling alone and unloved, so after that you guys will be more understanding of each other as you both will be forced to look thru the other's prism by experiencing it yourself.

posted December 29, 2018 07:37 AM            

I would date his change in behaviour back to May/June of this year when Neptune reached 16 Pisces, just one degree from his Mars. This is the beginning of the transit, Neptune will actually conjunct his Mars for the first time in the Spring and by early Summer it will reach your Mercury in Pisces too.

Now look at this for 'coincidence' in May June of this year Uranus was conjunct your Venus-Node at 0 Taurus and then in late October crossed this point again. Does this fit the timing of the second argument?

It's you that has changed too!! Uranus on your Venus gives you an independence and a sense of freedom. Venus in Taurus is all about grounded stable consistent love but with Uranus crossing over this point, your whole demeanour would be different. You have probably been more creative, and upbeat and expressive and this has played right into his insecurities. You *have* changed, so your photographs probably genuinely do *feel* different on the basis of your vibe but, because he hasn't seen you in real life he doesn't understand what it is that's changed, so he has fixated on one point!

The biggest concern about what you've said is how unwilling he is to listen. That actually IS something to break up over. Rows are fine, they're healthy in fact, but the ability to *resolve* issues after the fact is what keeps a relationship healthy. People change, they grow, they have Neptune transits and Uranus transits, a relationship can grow along with these, so long as you both LISTEN to one another's truth. Without this what do you have.

Obviously your North Node is being transited here too, this is a life lesson, this is you learning how to find your creative spark and embrace it. This is about you saying, "I am who I am and that is more important than pleasing another." If love isn't based on the true person, then it's not love, it's just fantasy...

With Pluto also conjunct your Moon, he is acting out the 'jealous spouse'. I think that's what's behind all this, he is scared that you have, or will find somebody else. Maybe you will, if he keeps behaving this way and refuses to respect your boundaries, then he doesn't deserve you.

Before you give up on him (and you don't sound inclined to give up anyway, you sound very loyal and patient) try the compassion route. Tell him you understand that he feels that he's being left behind, that he's worried and confused right now. That creative outlets and music will soothe his soul, sing to him, bring him Neptune through a different medium. And one of you take a trip out to see the other ASAP. If you're going to buy a house, you need to know that this kind of controlling behaviour isn't going to become a regular habit!

posted December 29, 2018 07:42 AM            

Great post Orange, it feels like teamwork, between us a much bigger picture

posted December 29, 2018 02:07 PM            

I can't give good advice other then pointing out that this seems to me to be a perfect case for couples counseling or therapy. Him taking out his frustrations this way, is not ok!

Although, long distance relationship is very though so its no wonder you guys have frustrations and him having big insecurities...

I agree, have a real meet up over a weekend. Talk, cuddle etc.

posted January 04, 2019 02:19 PM            

Orange and I took the time to read your detailed post, empathise and write deep responses for you.

You've removed your original post and I understand that, it was personal after all but I do think you could have acknowledged what we wrote for you.

It's ever so disheartening to do free readings for people, and spend time writing a heartfelt response, simply because I care and to not even be acknowledged.

posted January 08, 2019 09:31 PM            

The thing is.... we ... broke up.... briefly made up... and broke up all over again.

I'm heartbroken.

posted January 20, 2019 11:37 PM            

This has been a really strange situation for me... and it has left me feeling extremely hurt and confused.

Thank you all again for your support. I haven't talked about my relationship much to friends, since we have mutual friends and I don't want this to become gossip material.
So it's nice to be able to talk about it here.... It has been a bit like a lump in my throat... It's hard to even talk about... because I'm not even sure what is going on exactly.

Orange -
That's really interesting about the Saturn/Venus connection. I am hearing these words a lot from him lately... "unreasonable", "childish" etc... But at least I have really tried to make things work between us, whereas he seems to be off in his own world.
He might be feeling lonely... But I was always there for him on a daily basis (even if online).. and I just don't feel like I deserve this kind of reaction.. I have no idea where it is all coming from..
I would love to visit him but it would be difficult right now (and it's a 6 hour plane flight).. I'm not really sure what to do at this point.. because I'm pretty upset about the way he is treating me, and on the verge of leaving again.

"Those Saturn transits are so hard to swallow. but Saturn do expose problems that have been brewing under the surface for a while before the transit hits."

^ yes this is exactly what happened... I believe he has had some issue for a while... but he's only really "exploded" about them recently... and the way he has done this... was very harsh towards me.

Waxlobster - I apologise again for not replying.... I felt strange talking about this when.. things seemed to be going from bad to worse (and they are not much better now)...

I am wondering exactly what you asked.. "why has he changed?" - There doesn't really seem to be an answer to this... Other than perhaps the fact that - a lot of things were kept hidden... and now - he has finally brought up these issues.. (possibly)..
I guess I have also wondered whether there is another woman involved... and he simply finding reasons to push me away...

But at the same time he claims he still wants to marry me and buy a house with me. It is all very confusing.

He did actually frame his favourite photos of me (and us together) and has them at home and at work.. Or at least had them, before things went downhill in the past weeks...

"he's treating the photograph thing like it's a hard drug... Like they say that heroin addicts are forever chasing the high they got from their first fix and so they need more and more to compensate, but they're forever dissatisfied.... That's your guy right now!!"

He really is! This is extremely well put. I have actually told him that he is acting as though it is a drug... and when I was upset, I accused him of being a porn addict (which he probably isn't since he says he doesn't want to watch it)... But who knows really?
His response to this was dismissive towards me once again... basically saying that "I don't understand men"... and then saying that this should come from "the heart"... That it shouldn't be something he has to force my hand into... but I don't seem to care at all - or understand him at all ..

sigh

You're completely right about me asserting my independence. I am usually very independent but with Uranus on my Venus even more so these days.
I have to say - I have made a serious effort (I feel like saying a superhuman effort) to bite my tongue... to not attack him in an Aries-like way... and maintain my calm.. throughout this whole situation.. purely because I do love him - and I don't want to hurt him.

But he doesn't seem to appreciate this much and he is merrily continuing on with his behaviour... And he is actually very unwilling to listen.. to the point where it really feels like he is just pushing me away.

Thank you Melinn - I think therapy would be a great idea.. but he is very very "busy" these days.. so I have a feeling he would turn this down... even if we - lets say - found an online therapist... (while we are long distance)

I will post an update on what has happened next..
(and I put my initial post back up as well..)
I am really extremely confused... and not sure what to do next. Part of me wants to end this... but part of me does still really love him... and I gave so much to this relationship - we had so many dreams and goals together.. It just seems completely heartbreaking for it to end this way.

posted January 20, 2019 11:38 PM            

If you read this (thank you in advance)... please tell me...

What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?
Would you leave or would you stay?

-----

The arguments over photos.. continued... over Christmas and NYE...
At one point he was very rude to me, swore at me - and basically his point was that he has always been there for me emotionally, we talk and we're close.. but I'm not there for him sexually, and again saying that not sending him nudes is "abusive" on my part.

It's true that he has always been there for me emotionally... but so have I!
He had some serious problems this past year and I was always there for him too and supportive.

He was trying to say that women need an emotional connection and men need a sexual connection. But we have always had both... Long distance is difficult for any relationship. This is something that we should have talked about together. I tried to tell him that sex is not just a one way street where he demands nude photos over and over again. There are other ways we could be sexual... (which he basically rejected as me "not caring about his needs" again - because "men are visual" and - I just don't get that -)

But frankly he is a little bit more obsessed with this than the average "visual" Joe...

Since he seemed so hurt and "all over the place" about this... I ended up taking some photos (that were not nude - but sexy lingerie) and sending him those...
I genuinely thought he would be happy and that would be the end of that.

But.... his reaction.... was not what I expected.
He very much overreacted again saying that the photos were blurry... that he cant even see me, and that I'm intentionally teasing him or playing some kind of mind game - and he also made a critical (totally unwarranted) comment about the pose I was in - in one of the photos.
At this point, he also started comparing me to an ex girlfriend he had, who was sexually withdrawn and dismissive - saying things like: "I always thought you were a confident person. I can't believe you're acting just like my ex. I just can't believe this is happening" - and panicking about it.

From what I heard about this ex (and I've heard a lot), her personality is totally opposite mine - mainly since she also had an eating disorder and serious body-image issues.

I am very happy with the way I look and I'm quite confident being a fire sign... But this doesn't mean that I am comfortable with sending nude photos online.

These comparisons with the phantom ex didn't stop for about two weeks straight. Somehow the ex, and his relationship with her kept coming up.. I think I heard this story 10 times now - everything she did and didn't do - and how their breakup eventuated.

What's very surprising to me is that he has never brought her up before in our relationship and we have been together 2.5 years... So my reaction was: "Really? It took you 2.5 years to realise that - I'm exactly like your ex in every way?"

I told him that it was hurtful to me to keep hearing these comparisons on and on... and that he wouldn't like it either if I did this to him.. He apologised... but the next day... somehow the ex was brought up once again.

At this point .. I left and blocked him on Skype. Because I simply had enough of hearing about this girl. He sent me an email... and I replied saying that I can't see how things can work out between us when he is so sexually unsatisfied and I remind him of his ex every single day. He said he was speechless because this is a very petty reason to breakup and that we both promised each other we would never do this (that we wouldn't let it get to breakup point).

I told him I simply couldn't deal with the verbal abuse, the drama and the way he has behaved overall when it comes to the photos topic. Because I saw a side of him I have never seen before... and I felt very attacked. At the time he backed off... apologised... explained that he is being irrational because he misses me so much, he felt very lonely - and he really felt like he *needed* nude photos (like it was a *need*, not just a desire)... He also apologised for "being manipulative"... and he said that he basically came up with a lot of things in an effort to get me to send nude photos... and the ex thing was one of these things....

The fact that this was apparently premeditated and manipulative really upset me.. but at the time I forgave him and went back to talking to him... giving him another chance. He promised this would not be a reason for a breakup.. and that I can do whatever makes me happy and comfortable.

This lasted about 3 days in total.... of us talking normally... After these 3 days.. his phone broke down, he got extremely busy working a 3rd job, he moved to a new place with bad wifi - and he seemed to get close to one of his female colleagues whose name kept coming up (probably to make me jealous).

Right now.. for the past two weeks.. we have barely even talked at all - because he is "extremely busy" and "working 12 hours" per day.
This has seriously left me gobsmacked... It is a drastic change from us talking for at least a couple of hours daily. I have tried to talk to him... I told him I was willing to give us a second chance and I thought that this is also what he wanted - since he said his entire life would be ruined without me (only a few days ago).

His reply was that I was also busy myself... and that he is usually the one always waiting for me... and he thinks he is doing me a favour - because this way we can both focus on our work... and we will be able to save the money for a house faster.

So he is literally giving me the silent treatment and barely replying to anything at all I have to say... but when I bring up "breakup".. he says I am being totally unreasonable, and that he is actually just busy right now...

My impression about this is that - it's supposed to be some sort of revenge... over me not sending him the nude photos... kind of like "if you don't meet my sexual needs... I won't meet your emotional needs".... or "I won't give you as much attention"..
I am getting this impression for many reasons.. mainly because he has said certain things back to me.. that I had said regarding the nude photos... like "respecting boundaries"...
He wants his boundaries re: "working 12 hours per day" respected...

I am hurt by his behaviour because there are so many mixed messages going on. And most of all because this is not the person he was for the first 2.5 years we were together. These past two months have been very strange for me... because he is acting almost like a different person. He is very cold and arrogant towards me. He avoids saying "I love you".. and only says it when I have (which hasn't been often)... I can't actually have any kind of conversation with him. I've tried to tell him that playing games ends badly .. and that we are usually both mature people and I really didn't expect this from him. I told him I am not a vindictive person... and I want to actually make this work and sort things out maturely... but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. For the past two days... he has sent me photos instead of messages (which is another hint that this is some kind of vendetta)...

When I told him I felt ignored and this is making me feel like leaving again... He said he didn't understand why I cant wait... until things get a bit easier for him at work... and that "there are many times when he felt lonely in our relationship and he didn't leave"....

^ This kind of thing makes it pretty obvious that he is intentionally being a jerk to me... but he still won't admit to it...
He talked to two of his friends apparently... and he said they also didn't understand why I can't wait for him.. and why I'm threatening breakups.. and their "bright idea" was that I might be cheating on him....

I'm very confused by this situation. I feel a bit gaslighted... I really resent manipulative behaviour...
I do miss him and I miss what we had together, back when he was acting normal.. But I feel very betrayed by his passive aggression and "silent treatment".

So what would you guys do?

posted January 21, 2019 02:01 AM              

Remember the Male Stress Syndrome (do psychologists still talk about that? or am I dating myself here? LOL) -- men are taught to control, come to need it. And Taureans think in terms of possession. I think the two concepts are being conflated here: signs that he can control your behavior (exactly what kind of pictures you send, how they're taken, etc.) are proof that you're still *his*.

Maybe he's trying to keep you too busy to cheat on him?

And some people (though I'd expect this more from the Arien half of the partnership than the Taurean one) have a need for periodic drama in life in general or they get bored. So they start arguments/fights to alleviate the emotional boredom. I've met too many with that dynamic going.

But that's just off-the-cuff, mind you. I could be wrong.

posted January 21, 2019 02:32 AM            

But in any case, asking for the nudes is a bit alarming to say the least. Please be careful or you might get blackmailed later on. *hugs*

My friend had a similar situation with her FIANCÉ who later dumped her after doing you know what and she's emotionally shattered.

She had an ex who had some pics (not nudes) but he sent them to her fiancé who told her it's okay as long as she's loyal to him and that he couldn't care less about her ex.

Be careful with matters relating to men. If he's just buttering you up for sex, he most likely won't marry you.

Sorry if that sounded harsh but most of my friends who had a break up went through the same path: nice talk- force for sex- leave regardless

PS: I know a Taurus Sun Aquarius Moon man who acts all decently but is a fan of one night stands.

Love,
Anne

posted January 21, 2019 03:25 AM            

Eyeful - We are both pretty talkative.. maybe it's the Mercury/Mars double whammy... but we did have a lot to talk about everyday.. It was never boring. Well now it's boring because we've iced each other out (especially him).
That's definitely true about earth signs though...
I wanted to make him happy... I just don't feel comfortable with nudes...

AnneFrank - To be honest I would be more worried about nude photos possibly being seen accidentally.. if he left his phone somewhere or if his phone was lost/stolen... or even hacking...
I do trust him.. despite all of this... I would be about 95% sure that he would never do anything with my photos... even if he hated me or if something horrible happened. He's not like that... I mean one can never be completely sure, so you're right about being safe.
But I mostly do trust him.....

I wish I wasn't so hurt. I'm kind of triggered by him deleting messenger now. I guess I should stop taking everything personally... and just mind my own business until this blows over... and if it doesn't - then I guess it wasn't meant to be

#heartbroken

I can't actually believe how 'easy' things seemed between us for such a long time... I guess this is what makes me suspect possibly another woman.. or something else I don't know about. Because the change has been pretty drastic.

posted January 21, 2019 05:11 AM            

Try to speak with him on the issues worrying you. Let him know you're uncomfortable with it. I'm sure he'll understand and give you some support

Communication does help a lot

posted February 01, 2019 08:44 AM            

Thank you for telling us how you are and what's been happening. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been so hurt and had such a tough time of it all. Sending big reiki hugs.

You do know that this guy is being very abusive? Going on about his ex, picking flaws in your character, never acknowledging your feelings or wishes.

I can't imagine why you're still with him. It's a major plus that this relationship is long distance and you never have to bump into him.

What I'm feeling here is that you're upset about the dreams of a future you built up in your mind. You had this utopia of a great relationship, partly created by the fact you've never really known this guy very well, so you could fill in the gaps and turn him into the dream partner.

Right now the idea of you entering into a mortgage with this guy is alarming. If he's this abusive from afar, the chances of it getting much worse if you are in proximity are very high You know this deep down. You're hooked on him but believe me he's a black cloud over your head.

Within a month you will feel so much happier and more free if you move forwards and live your life. You are such a kind gentle, forgiving person, you deserve to be celebrated as such.

Sending reiki~~~

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