posted March 18, 2019 07:37 PM            

Fast forward to Saturday night and we were hanging out and talking and I was really tired fell asleep at his place. I woke up to him doing things to me that I was really uncomfortable with (not rape but still bad). What upset me the most is we had a whole conversation about me staying there where we both clearly defined that nothing would happen and he said I could trust him and he would respect my boundaries.

When I confronted him about it the next day he seemed very remorseful and said he found me so attractive that he just got carried away and couldn’t help himself. Obviously this is a bull sh*t response because everyone has control over their actions and I think he’s a jerk now. Still I was wondering if there was anything in our charts or his that could point to something like this happening or him having those kind of feelings for me.

I have cut him out of my life and want nothing to do with him now but I feel like I need to forgive him in my mind in order to move on from this. I think if there was something between us or in his natal chart that would point to this lack of self-control maybe it would help me do that.

I do notice we have a lot of Saturn in our charts together so maybe this happened to teach me to be more careful I’m not sure.

I’m pretty upset about it because we were good friends and I trusted him.

Synastry

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Composite

His natal

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Please note that his TOB is an estimate

posted March 18, 2019 07:46 PM            

Pisces can be boundless, without boundaries, and in some cases, causes people to not respect boundaries at all.

Either Pisces individual will ATTRACT a person who doesn't respect their boundaries, or, the Pisces individual WILL BE the one who lacks respect.

Boundaries simply seem undefined.

The 8th house contacts tell a lot too, synastry wise and even his natal. "deep, dark desires"

And as for Sagittarius, they can do "naughty" things because they're fun, "feel good."

I don't even think he meant to do anything other than be naughty. Also there's Gemini moon. They can be casual and flirty.

Sagittarius heavy friend of mine essentially grabbed me and groped me. And he wasn't the first (sagi) one :P

Honestly, Sagittarius's new nickname should be "The Fondler" or "El Groper"

All in all, if you're really so distressed, it's good you cut him off.

But if it were me, I'd not feel like it's such a big deal because I'd realize just how un-serious and ridiculous his intentions were, it wouldn't even matter to me. But that's just me.

I also get that it's been a couple of months, but really, how well did you know him in such a short time? That's a clue.

posted March 18, 2019 08:10 PM            

If I were you I'd file a police report against him. (laws vary by location). It doesn't matter if they decide not to charge him with anything. What matters is getting this in writing, because if he was willing to do this to you, he's very likely willing to do much worse to another girl someday. If there's record of him doing this it will be easier for his next victim to take action against him. Just go to your nearest police precinct and tell them what happened and that you'd like to file a report and just do the report and ask for a copy of it even if they say they can't charge him with anything. You could seriously help his next victim by doing this.

posted March 18, 2019 08:20 PM            

Now for the charts, he has his moon in your first house conjunct your ASC, this aspect and overlay tends to make people trust each other and feel safe and comfortable and open up, so it makes sense why you trusted him! That’s actually one of the best words for this aspect lol is trust.

Your Scorpio stellium conjunct his IC gives a very similar energy. Induces feelings of safety, comfort, security, trust etc. And like you’ve known each other a long time and strong sense of familiarity.

posted March 18, 2019 08:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lalafortunaea:
After I read that, before I even looked at the chart, I thought Pisces/Neptune had to be involved, and Jupiter/Sagittarius.

Pisces can be boundless, without boundaries, and in some cases, causes people to not respect boundaries at all.

Either Pisces individual will ATTRACT a person who doesn't respect their boundaries, or, the Pisces individual WILL BE the one who lacks respect.

Boundaries simply seem undefined.

The 8th house contacts tell a lot too, synastry wise and even his natal. "deep, dark desires"

And as for Sagittarius, they can do "naughty" things because they're fun, "feel good."

I don't even think he meant to do anything other than be naughty. Also there's Gemini moon. They can be casual and flirty.

Sagittarius heavy friend of mine essentially grabbed me and groped me. And he wasn't the first (sagi) one :P

Honestly, Sagittarius's new nickname should be "The Fondler" or "El Groper"

All in all, if you're really so distressed, it's good you cut him off.

But if it were me, I'd not feel like it's such a big deal because I'd realize just how un-serious and ridiculous his intentions were, it wouldn't even matter to me. But that's just me.

I also get that it's been a couple of months, but really, how well did you know him in such a short time? That's a clue.

Point being is you could see him as not even worth your time. He's a fly, that's it. Swat him and be done.

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Tbh I find your post very uncomfortable and inappropriate since you seem to be making light and justifying this type of behaviour. What happened to OP is and was a big deal, it’s considered sexual harassment and even borderline rape. She was sleeping and she woke up to him sexually touching her without her consent or knowing, that’s super creepy and not ok and very violating. He has no right to touch her. Stop trying to use signs and astrology to justify that it was just “lighthearted” and Gemini is just flirty blah blah he didn’t mean anything by it. He did mean something by it, his intentions were one thing and one thing only; he was sexually taking advantage of her. You don’t accidentally molest someone in their sleep 👍 he knew what he was doing.

posted March 18, 2019 08:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Tbh I find your post very uncomfortable and inappropriate since you seem to be making light and justifying this type of behaviour. What happened to OP is and was a big deal, it’s considered sexual harassment and even borderline rape. She was sleeping and she woke up to him sexually touching her without her consent or knowing, that’s super creepy and not ok and very violating. He has no right to touch her. Stop trying to use signs and astrology to justify that it was just “lighthearted” and Gemini is just flirty blah blah he didn’t mean anything by it. He did mean something by it, his intentions were one thing and one thing only; he was sexually taking advantage of her. You don’t accidentally molest someone in their sleep 👍 he knew what he was doing.

And no, saggitarius shouldn’t be called “the fondler”. What the hell. I’m sure a lot of sag people would be annoyed you’re making them out to be perverts. Your male friends are creeps who just so happened to be saggy. That’s it.

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Mercury is retrograde :P I think you misunderstood my intentions and what my point was.

But I hope you understand that what you got is your personal perception.

It was what it was. Everything you're saying goes without saying and is understood regarding touching people without consent. In no what did I ever mention it was okay. The morality of the situation is already understood.

quote:

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You don’t accidentally molest someone in their sleep 👍 he knew what he was doing

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quote:

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He has no right to touch her.

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Who said he had a right?

quote:

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Stop trying to use signs and astrology to justify that it was just “lighthearted” and Gemini is just flirty blah blah he didn’t mean anything by it

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Oh, sure, it was serious what he did, but he might not have thought so. Otherwise he would not have done it. Doesn't make it okay :P

quote:

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And no, saggitarius shouldn’t be called “the fondler”. What the hell. I’m sure a lot of sag people would be annoyed you’re making them out to be perverts

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I'm attempting to provide insight into Sagittarius and touching, and while I get that you may be personally offended by this, this does not have to describe every single Sagittarius.

The point here is that they like to touch and fondle (Gemini is also "handy" as well.Albeit if they know they are allowed to, it is no big deal, perhaps, in their mind.

But any quality a sign may have can turn into a negative. It's also not very fair to want to disregard any unpleasant characteristics a sign may or may not have simply because it bothers you. We all often openly know and accept and talk about, for example, the "edgier side" of Scorpio, for example. So, I don't see how or why we would have to tip toe around other qualities of other signs.

And I do note you made no comment about Pisces and "boundaries" and did not disapprove of that. I'm merely pointing out a discrepancy here.

It's not so much about a judgement as an observation of qualities they possess, and when and if the individual in question happens to be "nefarious" in some way, such qualities could be used in a negative way: I.E touching without consent and not caring about boundaries.

Everything we've got that could be good, could also be an explanation for what is bad, equally.

quote:

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Your male friends are creeps who just so happened to be saggy. That’s it.

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Okay, noted. No astro sign explanation. Leaves me to muse as to why you're here. You don't have to answer. Don't get me wrong. A sign is not a sex offender. But signs have qualities that can be used for such, and help explain the how, but not the why.

posted March 18, 2019 09:27 PM            

Anyway I considered filing a police report but didn’t do it.

posted March 18, 2019 09:42 PM            

I don't think I'd rape someone but lacking boundaries is right in my Piscean case.
I agree with what Lala said about the possibilty of Sag and Pisces placements being one of the astrologically responsible factors

posted March 18, 2019 10:31 PM            

And this isn’t Astro knowledge though!? Lol this is your own warped opinion. Sag is not known for touching or groping? That’s just YOUR personal opinion. There’s no literature or widespread knowledge about groping signs like wtf. So your comments about disregarding unpleasantness of signs is irrelevant lol.

Also, you saying “maybe he didn’t think it was serious or else he wouldn’t have done it” what lol? how do you know that he wouldn’t have done it still if he thought it was serious?You don’t. But there you go again trying to justify his behaviour 👍 point in case, thanks.

posted March 18, 2019 10:35 PM            

The OP is asking if there are any astrological reasons which she can use to forgive him.

posted March 18, 2019 10:53 PM            

Yeah that’s not the part I’m concerned about. I already know she has a questionable moral compass based on that comment 🙃, it’s the fact she keeps trying to justify the dudes behaviour through saying it’s sag or gemini, it’s something they do. It’s unfounded, weird, and potentially really damaging to be spreading this type of info.

posted March 18, 2019 11:00 PM            

I'd actually like too see OP's natal too if she wants to analyze it astrologically.

posted March 18, 2019 11:06 PM            

"These two are the most influential malefic energies in a horoscope. And when they sit together, their force may become destructive thus problems are obvious. The conjunction of Saturn and Mars is not considered positive. Natives with this combination are often inclined towards bad habits such as dishonesty, fraudulence and theft. They may have a tendency to conspire and find faults in others. Their view of life is pessimistic and they may not value religion much. They are more inclined towards immoral activities. " -indastro

I have personal experience with natives of this combination and they stab people in the back more readily than most. They are usually highly untrustworthy people who have little guilt when they set out to damage others around them. Add to this the fact that neither his saturn or mars aspect well with your planets and it just makes things worse.

posted March 18, 2019 11:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
^ Well there are astrological markers for ones who mostly rape and are mostly raped, people get p!!ssed off when their placements are blamed so it is not discussed widely and more objectively, and discussing them objectively is going to be difficult for someone who has those placements, which is natural.

I'd actually like too see OP's natal too if she wants to analyze it astrologically.

But personally this is one issue which I'd deal with without any astrological perspective or without relying upon any belief systems because all of them will just help you to rationalize the pain and find some excuses for it happening.

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Yes there are some, but none that are truly confirmed reliable or hold much merit consistently. But even so, lala wasn’t mentioning those, if she did that would make sense.

And I agree with much of what you said too 😊

posted March 18, 2019 11:47 PM            

Hmmm, well he does have a tense and difficult chart for starters. This can show an individual who incarnated with certain lessons, challenges and “complexes”, difficulties or issues they will have have to deal with or work thru in this lifetime. Not always bad, but it’s something to note. And If his TOB is fairly accurate, what’s interesting is his moon is his 12th ruler (which rules boundaries which was mentioned before) and it’s in Gemini, opposite saturn (Saturn traditionally rules boundaries, self control, discipline, restriction etc.) and his mars, and making a t-square with his Venus/mercury in his 8th as the apex. So he battles with emotional (moon) control (mars/Saturn conjunct opp his moon), and he tends to rationalize his emotions and impulses A LOT! Probably to an unhealthy extent with moon being in Gemini, and mercury square all this as the apex of the t -square. And interesting that the release and focus point of all this (mercury is the apex of his t-squares) is being released and funneled into his 8th house of sexuality, deep passions, hidden things/secrets. So he definitely uses and feels sex (8th house) as a release for all his chaotic and tense energy and is also going to be a big focus in his life and shows his lack of emotional control and discipline and rationalization is tied into sexual matters (8th house). Also his moon being his 12th ruler, and it being in Gemini and even square his mercury, he can definitely rationalize (Gemini/mercury) and even detached regarding 12th house matters like boundaries, and since the ruler and of course the funnel for this energy is mercury/Venus in the 8th house, this can manifest as lack of boundaries (12th house ruler being moon, moons ruler being mercury the dispositor and the apex/focus and release point of his t-squares) regarding 8th house matters, sex.
The other t-square with his moon/Uranus/mercury again is a very detached, rationalizing and impulsive configuration. Uranus also likes taboos, is rebellious doesn’t care about society or social conventions/rules/morality and can be quite perverse/weird in its lower energy or if it’s conflicted like his making only hard aspects and combined with all the other factors lol. Interesting too that Chiron is involved in all of this... so he has a very afflicted Chiron as well. Chiron shows pain/wounding but can also show healing etc. Maybe he has suffered some emotional (moon conjunct Chiron) wounds himself, maybe from an authority figure (opposite Saturn) and sexual in nature (opposite mars). This Chiron being involved could show HIM being the one who wounds as well.....

posted March 19, 2019 03:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
@virgoscorpio,
He molested you while you were sleeping. Pls just steer clear of this person. Seriously. And no, sleeping on the same bed doesn't mean you want him to touch you and he should not get that idea. If he had thought you wanted to get intimate with him, he would've touched you when you were awake, not when you were sleeping! So clearly he knew he would be rejected so he resorted to sneaky ways. So pls stay away from him. Furthermore, you have a bf. Don't jeopardise your relationship.

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posted March 19, 2019 08:31 AM            

"These two are the most influential malefic energies in a horoscope. And when they sit together, their force may become destructive thus problems are obvious. The conjunction of Saturn and Mars is not considered positive. Natives with this combination are often inclined towards bad habits such as dishonesty, fraudulence and theft. They may have a tendency to conspire and find faults in others. Their view of life is pessimistic and they may not value religion much. They are more inclined towards immoral activities. " -indastro

I have personal experience with natives of this combination and they stab people in the back more readily than most. They are usually highly untrustworthy people who have little guilt when they set out to damage others around them. Add to this the fact that neither his saturn or mars aspect well with your planets and it just makes things worse.

posted March 19, 2019 09:39 AM            

Moving on from that, I don't believe that sexual harassment/assault/rape etc. is an astro issue. There are just as many good and decent people for every aspect as there are evil ones. That's like saying all Mars in Gemini folks are cheaters. That's simply not true.

posted March 19, 2019 12:38 PM            

This is a simple right vs wrong. Theres no grey area. He could have had the best intentions in the world, but it’s still irrelevant. That’s what I was trying to explain to Lala since she kept trying to justify his actions, even reaching and going as far as saying things she couldn’t possibly know and didn’t have any basis in astrology “he maybe thought it wasn’t serious, OR ELSE HE WOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT”. !?
And she said she agrees and knows its wrong and the extent etc. yet still “personally wouldn’t bother me”. If you know it’s wrong then how could it NOT bother you Lala? Lol well, we can only logically deduce it’s because you actually don’t think it’s wrong, which is also why you kept trying to make light and justify his behaviour. 👍
And then you’re spreading ridiculous ideas about sag just being handsy and “the fondlers”, and your only basis for this is because you personally have male friends who would do this, and oh gee, it must be because they are sag suns and can’t possibility just be that they’re just disrespectful or creeps. Like please stop. These aren’t “astrological musings” or have any substance or research/validity behind them. It’s a personal problem. You need better friends.

Lol that’s like me saying, “yo I had 2 ex’s who were Capricorn and they cheated, so we should actually just start calling Capricorn’s “the strayers”. Do you see how ridiculous you sound now!? 🤦‍♀️

The only thing I’m “personally offended” by (if you could even call it that since that implies feelings are involved here and I can assure you they’re not LOL, I don’t operate subjectively or irrationally based on feelings. I’m a damn aqua sun/Virgo moon and don’t even have any water in my chart I’m basically a machine 😂 ) and this is my mars in libra talking now, is your painful lack of logic and you lying to try save face from looking 1; morally corrupt (justifying some weirdos behaviour because you don’t think it’s wrong) and 2; an idiot because your fondler theory is moronic and trying to make it seem like its my problem I didn’t understand you (nice lil deflective/manipulative tactic there) when I actually understood you better than you probably would have liked 👍 cuz now you’re exposed.
Case closed.