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Author Topic:   Why do we argue so much?
ChildofVenus
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posted March 20, 2019 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I’ve been friends with this Virgo for four years. I’ve been helping him financially for about year. Because he’s having a difficult time. When we are together it’s nice we get along. But when we aren’t together we argue via text and social media. He’s helped me a lot with my academics and he gives me things I need for school. He even bought me a laptop that I could use for my classes. One minute he’s saying that he’ll always have my back. Then the next we are arguing. I know it’s because we have a lot of harsh aspects. But I really want us to get along is there anything that can be done to make this easier? We’ve been through a lot together and he’s like family to me.


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vansio
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posted March 20, 2019 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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LunaIscariot
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posted March 20, 2019 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LunaIscariot     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You have 3 of the worst and really tough/unpleasant mercury aspects with each other; their Saturn square your mercury, and their mars/Pluto conjunction opposite your mercury. Your mercury is being negatively being hit by all 3 malefics! Lol your poor mercury. And it being in Aries conjunct Jupiter in the 8th, you’re not one to hold back your opinions or afraid to speak your mind or back down from an argument (your mars in Gemini as well lol).

The Saturn makes this person very critical of your ideas and opinions, very dismissive as well. Probably don’t even want to hear you out or might even ignore you etc. and they make you feel stupid or call you immature/impractical etc. And his own Saturn squaring his mercury means he has a very critical mind anyway, and will feel like he needs to tell you how wrong or stupid you are or reprimand/correct you (Saturn is like the stuffy old wise teacher/parent archetype who “knows best” or needs to discipline you lol), and with mercury conjunct Uranus, he can be dogmatic or a know-it all like a Mercury in Aqua. Mix these two energies together and this person can be a challenge to communicate with for anyone regardless of aspects.

The mars/Pluto opposition means they like to challenge your ideas, and play devils advocate (their mercury in libra shows this naturally but these aspects are really going to set it off). They will also be condescending/arrogant or controlling/manipulative and might even try to gaslight you or play mind games with Pluto... they get impatient with you too when you’re talking with the mars, might cut you off or speak over you etc. And your Jupiter involved in all this is just blowing this all up, making it worse... doing what Jupiter tends to do; make things bigger, but this time in a negative sense. Just amplying all these negative dynamics.
Also, you have mercury opposition mercury (totally different ways of thinking and communication) and his own Saturn is square his natal mercury, so that square from his Saturn to your mercury as well is creating a t-square. So it’s like you’re caught in this repetitive negative loop/dynamic (t-square is a closed pattern formation).

So it’s just a big lack of understanding and mental incompatibility to put simply, which of course is the root of all arguments. Mercury aspects are very important, since the main thing we do with another person is communicate lol you can’t have any sort of connection or relationship without it. So I suggest if you can’t work through these issues (which tbh, having all 3 of these aspects there’s a really strong probability you won’t, one ok sure, two MAYBE, but 3 is a big challenge plus the mercury opp mercury )... you should stop talking since arguing all the time with someone is very toxic and not benefiting either of you.

His mercury in your 3rd house helps a bit though....

You should post the composite as well, I’m curious.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 12:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@LunaIscariot Yeah I know it’s really bad sometimes but it’s not like that when we are in person. We don’t argue when we are together physically. It’s only like this when we are apart communicating via text. But I notice whenever I talk to him about academics or when I want him to teach me about something it’s a lot easier. Or w He does trust me but I think that’s due to the house overlays. He tells me when he’s having a rough time etc. That’s why I wish we could get along.

So I wonder what’s keeping us from calling it quits? He says he won’t talk to me anymore. But he always does I guess it’s the Saturn aspects?

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 12:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by vansio:
You cannot, I repeat, cannot *argue* with a Virgo. I come from a family of them (as an Aquarius). It’s a losing battle of wills. Don’t argue with them – they won’t see your point (in the moment) because their point really matters more then, especially when they have one to give – just listen to it, no question about it. Trust me on this. Learn to never argue, even if they are literally argueing you (that’s their main way of relating, they can’t see themselves or it as such), and you’ll be fine, and feel loved if you can recognize it sooner than later. They crave respect for their opinion (criticism, nitpicking, mental charade). That’s what they want - like a love language. No one asked for their “service”, but that’s what you’re getting and why a harsh backlash for not seeing it for what it is. lol Take this as doubly-true seeing that Venus in Virgo.

You also have Mercury opposition Mars, classic arguing aspect. One persons way of doing sets the other off mentally - can be dynamic, don’t fall trap to how it plays out in a lower conscious. Saturn square Mercury, Saturn opposite Mars. Have more self-discipline and patience when dealing with one another, doesn’t come easy but a part of the picture.


Yeah I know maybe taking breaks with communicating would be a good idea. Sometimes he’ll actually tell me to take a break lol. He’ll say let’s take a couple of weeks off. I don’t like it but maybe that’s what we need sometimes.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 12:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Something that he does that I think is strange. He’ll make fake social media accounts and then talk to me from the other accounts. This is something that he’s been doing for awhile. He does this with other people too as well. I asked him why he does this and he said for personal freedom. But It’s just odd he’ll tell me that he doesn’t want to talk to me. Then he’ll turn around and do this. I guess he has some personal issues with himself that could also be a factor.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 21, 2019 06:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Something that he does that I think is strange. He’ll make fake social media accounts and then talk to me from the other accounts. This is something that he’s been doing for awhile. He does this with other people too as well. I asked him why he does this and he said for personal freedom. But It’s just odd he’ll tell me that he doesn’t want to talk to me. Then he’ll turn around and do this. I guess he has some personal issues with himself that could also be a factor.

That just screams of Pluto. Check his natal... he has Sun/Mars/Pluto conjunct. He has obsessive tendencies. So do you actually (lol) that's why you've been posting about him.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
That just screams of Pluto. Check his natal... he has Sun/Mars/Pluto conjunct. He has obsessive tendencies. So do you actually (lol) that's why you've been posting about him.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
That just screams of Pluto. Check his natal... he has Sun/Mars/Pluto conjunct. He has obsessive tendencies. So do you actually (lol) that's why you've been posting about him.

It depends on the person though I don't feel obsessive about everyone I meet. We have a lot of Pluto in our synastry which is why. But it's funny though because I can easily get over the person as well. Venus/Uranus when someone else more exciting comes along lol.

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Hikaru29
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posted March 21, 2019 10:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
It depends on the person though I don't feel obsessive about everyone I meet. We have a lot of Pluto in our synastry which is why. But it's funny though because I can easily get over the person as well. Venus/Uranus when someone else more exciting comes along lol.

Pluto's obsession doesn't have to be towards people though it can be, and definitely not towards EVERYONE (lol) or you will go mad. It can also be obsession towards certain subjects/matters/things, e.g. when a subject intrigues me I can get really obsessed over it until I thoroughly exhaust the topic. My Pluto in 5th quincunx/parallel Sun also gives me obsession tendencies towards the one I love and I attract similar energies. For those I don't seriously like I drop them in a heartbeat (Uranus also in 5th opposite Sun). So in love either my Pluto plays out or Uranus depending on my feelings towards the person.

I noticed you have talked about this guy on different threads which shows you're obsessed with him as well... you're probably obsessed with why he's obsessed with you? Hee.

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LunaIscariot
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posted March 21, 2019 01:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LunaIscariot     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The composite is bad. Shows an unhealthy, toxic, and rather manipulative/controlling relationship with lots of power struggles with Pluto square aspects to the sun, moon and mercury, and there aren’t any postive aspects to offset these tendencies. The moon/mercury is in the third house as well lol so makes sense you have bad communication.... Pluto is conjunct the ASC as well. Highly plutonic relationship, that’s where the obession Hikaru mentioned is coming from. The main dynamic/theme of your relationship is obsession, but with Pluto being afflicted and rather hidden and insidious sitting in the 12th (you’re not aware of all this going on) all the negative aspects of Pluto as well; manipulation, power struggles, controlling behaviour. Him always saying he’s not talking to you again, but then creating new accounts etc. this is strange manipulative, controlling behaviour and a good example of this toxic energy manifesting.

The Venus t -square with Jupiter and Neptune looks like you’re not seeing this person clearly either. Venus is the chart ruler and it’s opposite Neptune (confusion/deception).

There’s only 2 soft/positive aspects (Venus trine Pluto, mars sextile Saturn) and these aren’t even that postive of aspects, especially compared to all the other aspects going on. This isn’t strong enough energy to balance the negative aspects out. So this is always going to be a more negative, stressful, toxic dynamic. Something to think about 👍 I strongly suggest you cut this relationship off, from an Astro perspective and personal perspective from what you’ve told us here. It would be in your best interest to do so. Sometimes we care about people, but that doesn’t mean we should have them in our lives if our connection with them isn’t healthy, and if that’s the case, it’s better to love/care about someone from a distance.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes I know obsession is a theme between us. But why is that we don't argue when we are actually with each other in person? Maybe because we are having sexual relations? That's one of the things that is actually good between us. The sex is great that's one of the reasons why I don't want to stop seeing him. I thought we could have a fling at least. I know we will never actually have a romantic relationship. But I'm fine with us having a fling and being friends.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 21, 2019 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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ChildofVenus
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posted March 22, 2019 12:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmHC6ug1GXM&app=desktop

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Hikaru29
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posted March 22, 2019 03:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmHC6ug1GXM&app=desktop

I wonder if she's talking about synastry or composite as she refers to the "Pluto person". Anyway, yes, I agree that plutonic relationships are very addictive and hard to walk away from. It can be very destructive if both parties are immature. You need to step back and review - do you really love this person or is this just an obsession?

Because of Pluto's manipulative ways, people tend to dismiss it as not a true love relationship (and it may indeed be the case). A lot of people are simply obsessed, not in love, but let's flip it around because I like to play devil's advocate (haha)... how many people are actually in true, self-less love in this era, with or without Pluto hard aspects in their charts? We all say we truly care for the other person and want them to be happy (and I have no doubts about it) but I hardly know anyone who doesn't expect anything in return which is what self-less love is all about.

Pluto hard aspects bring out a lot of insecurities in us and that's why we become controlling/manipulative/jealous, even if we never used to be like that. So removing mind games and replace it with honest communication is necessary.

I believe love can also be present in Plutonic relationships. You may have lotsa loving aspects as well just that Pluto makes people express their feelings in a wrong way... like what Jewel said - "misplaced passion". But it doesn't mean no love. My friend and her husband have Pluto square Venus/Mars in composite and Pluto square Moon/Venus/Mars in Davison, and as far as I know they're in a close, happy marriage. They also have Mars square Uranus btw, but they're definitely A LOT more stable than people I know w/o Pluto hard aspects in their composite.

So don't confuse Pluto obsession with love but also don't immediately dismiss a relationship when you see Pluto hard aspects because other aspects play a part too.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 22, 2019 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I wonder if she's talking about synastry or composite as she refers to the "Pluto person". Anyway, yes, I agree that plutonic relationships are very addictive and hard to walk away from. It can be very destructive if both parties are immature. You need to step back and review - do you really love this person or is this just an obsession?

Because of Pluto's manipulative ways, people tend to dismiss it as not a true love relationship (and it may indeed be the case). A lot of people are simply obsessed, not in love, but let's flip it around because I like to play devil's advocate (haha)... how many people are actually in true, self-less love in this era, with or without Pluto hard aspects in their charts? We all say we truly care for the other person and want them to be happy (and I have no doubts about it) but I hardly know anyone who doesn't expect anything in return which is what self-less love is all about.

Pluto hard aspects bring out a lot of insecurities in us and that's why we become controlling/manipulative/jealous, even if we never used to be like that. So removing mind games and replace it with honest communication is necessary.

I believe love can also be present in Plutonic relationships. You may have lotsa loving aspects as well just that Pluto makes people express their feelings in a wrong way... like what Jewel said - "misplaced passion". But it doesn't mean no love. My friend and her husband have Pluto square Venus/Mars in composite and Pluto square Moon/Venus/Mars in Davison, and as far as I know they're in a close, happy marriage. They also have Mars square Uranus btw, but they're definitely A LOT more stable than people I know w/o Pluto hard aspects in their composite.

So don't confuse Pluto obsession with love but also don't immediately dismiss a relationship when you see Pluto hard aspects because other aspects play a part too.



She has a lot of videos about Plutonic relationships. She said that they are meant to help us grow and transform. This is the first time I've ever experienced this kind of relationship. It's really hard to walk away I honestly don't want to. But I'm Plutonic myself so maybe I'm drawn to Plutonic relationships. I like the bonding and intensity but I hate the arguing. I wish there was a way that we could at least remain friends.

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ana_bee
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posted March 22, 2019 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
[B]I’ve been friends with this Virgo for four years. I’ve been helping him financially for about year. Because he’s having a difficult time. When we are together it’s nice we get along. But when we aren’t together we argue via text and social media. He’s helped me a lot with my academics and he gives me things I need for school. He even bought me a laptop that I could use for my classes. One minute he’s saying that he’ll always have my back. Then the next we are arguing. I know it’s because we have a lot of harsh aspects. But I really want us to get along is there anything that can be done to make this easier? We’ve been through a lot together and he’s like family to me.


You can only reflect upon your own behavior and the impression you make on someone. Change that, and the other person might follow up.

What I see is this:

You take them for granted. (Their sun in your 2nd house, your Moon in their 2nd house) This is how they might feel, hence the arguing.

You stirr up their emotions. Your Uranus conj their moon comes off as very erratic, your Saturn conj their moon restricts their emotional expression towards you. They feel rather judged. Since all of this happens in the 12th house it’s not a conscious feeling, which makes it worse.
They feel restricted but can’t really put a finger on it.

With your sun in their 4th house and their moon in your 4th house, you also feel like family to them, at least you reach them at their most private, hence making them rather vulnerable towards you.

Show them how much they mean to you and that you appreciate them, once in a while. This should soften the edges.



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ChildofVenus
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posted March 22, 2019 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ana_bee:
You can only reflect upon your own behavior and the impression you make on someone. Change that, and the other person might follow up.

What I see is this:

You take them for granted. (Their sun in your 2nd house, your Moon in their 2nd house) This is how they might feel, hence the arguing.

You stirr up their emotions. Your Uranus conj their moon comes off as very erratic, your Saturn conj their moon restricts their emotional expression towards you. They feel rather judged. Since all of this happens in the 12th house it’s not a conscious feeling, which makes it worse.
They feel restricted but can’t really put a finger on it.

With your sun in their 4th house and their moon in your 4th house, you also feel like family to them, at least you reach them at their most private, hence making them rather vulnerable towards you.

Show them how much they mean to you and that you appreciate them, once in a while. This should soften the edges.



This is the same exact thing an astrologer told me that did a synastry chart for me and this person. But I told him that I was sorry if he felt judged or criticized by me. So even though I feel like family to him he still feels
criticized by me? He has told me that he doesn’t feel like I appreciate him. That’s insane though because I help him financially so I don’t understand how he could feel this way. That is his own insecurities because I don’t feel I take advantage of him.

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llewsacm
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posted March 22, 2019 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for llewsacm     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
You have 3 of the worst and really tough/unpleasant mercury aspects with each other; their Saturn square your mercury, and their mars/Pluto conjunction opposite your mercury. Your mercury is being negatively being hit by all 3 malefics! Lol your poor mercury. And it being in Aries conjunct Jupiter in the 8th, you’re not one to hold back your opinions or afraid to speak your mind or back down from an argument (your mars in Gemini as well lol).

The Saturn makes this person very critical of your ideas and opinions, very dismissive as well. Probably don’t even want to hear you out or might even ignore you etc. and they make you feel stupid or call you immature/impractical etc. And his own Saturn squaring his mercury means he has a very critical mind anyway, and will feel like he needs to tell you how wrong or stupid you are or reprimand/correct you (Saturn is like the stuffy old wise teacher/parent archetype who “knows best” or needs to discipline you lol), and with mercury conjunct Uranus, he can be dogmatic or a know-it all like a Mercury in Aqua. Mix these two energies together and this person can be a challenge to communicate with for anyone regardless of aspects.

The mars/Pluto opposition means they like to challenge your ideas, and play devils advocate (their mercury in libra shows this naturally but these aspects are really going to set it off). They will also be condescending/arrogant or controlling/manipulative and might even try to gaslight you or play mind games with Pluto... they get impatient with you too when you’re talking with the mars, might cut you off or speak over you etc. And your Jupiter involved in all this is just blowing this all up, making it worse... doing what Jupiter tends to do; make things bigger, but this time in a negative sense. Just amplying all these negative dynamics.
Also, you have mercury opposition mercury (totally different ways of thinking and communication) and his own Saturn is square his natal mercury, so that square from his Saturn to your mercury as well is creating a t-square. So it’s like you’re caught in this repetitive negative loop/dynamic (t-square is a closed pattern formation).

So it’s just a big lack of understanding and mental incompatibility to put simply, which of course is the root of all arguments. Mercury aspects are very important, since the main thing we do with another person is communicate lol you can’t have any sort of connection or relationship without it. So I suggest if you can’t work through these issues (which tbh, having all 3 of these aspects there’s a really strong probability you won’t, one ok sure, two MAYBE, but 3 is a big challenge plus the mercury opp mercury )... you should stop talking since arguing all the time with someone is very toxic and not benefiting either of you.

His mercury in your 3rd house helps a bit though....

You should post the composite as well, I’m curious.


This is PERFECT in regards to an interpretation. It might help to talk with this person face to face if possible.

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llewsacm
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posted March 22, 2019 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for llewsacm     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
You have 3 of the worst and really tough/unpleasant mercury aspects with each other; their Saturn square your mercury, and their mars/Pluto conjunction opposite your mercury. Your mercury is being negatively being hit by all 3 malefics! Lol your poor mercury. And it being in Aries conjunct Jupiter in the 8th, you’re not one to hold back your opinions or afraid to speak your mind or back down from an argument (your mars in Gemini as well lol).

The Saturn makes this person very critical of your ideas and opinions, very dismissive as well. Probably don’t even want to hear you out or might even ignore you etc. and they make you feel stupid or call you immature/impractical etc. And his own Saturn squaring his mercury means he has a very critical mind anyway, and will feel like he needs to tell you how wrong or stupid you are or reprimand/correct you (Saturn is like the stuffy old wise teacher/parent archetype who “knows best” or needs to discipline you lol), and with mercury conjunct Uranus, he can be dogmatic or a know-it all like a Mercury in Aqua. Mix these two energies together and this person can be a challenge to communicate with for anyone regardless of aspects.

The mars/Pluto opposition means they like to challenge your ideas, and play devils advocate (their mercury in libra shows this naturally but these aspects are really going to set it off). They will also be condescending/arrogant or controlling/manipulative and might even try to gaslight you or play mind games with Pluto... they get impatient with you too when you’re talking with the mars, might cut you off or speak over you etc. And your Jupiter involved in all this is just blowing this all up, making it worse... doing what Jupiter tends to do; make things bigger, but this time in a negative sense. Just amplying all these negative dynamics.
Also, you have mercury opposition mercury (totally different ways of thinking and communication) and his own Saturn is square his natal mercury, so that square from his Saturn to your mercury as well is creating a t-square. So it’s like you’re caught in this repetitive negative loop/dynamic (t-square is a closed pattern formation).

So it’s just a big lack of understanding and mental incompatibility to put simply, which of course is the root of all arguments. Mercury aspects are very important, since the main thing we do with another person is communicate lol you can’t have any sort of connection or relationship without it. So I suggest if you can’t work through these issues (which tbh, having all 3 of these aspects there’s a really strong probability you won’t, one ok sure, two MAYBE, but 3 is a big challenge plus the mercury opp mercury )... you should stop talking since arguing all the time with someone is very toxic and not benefiting either of you.

His mercury in your 3rd house helps a bit though....

You should post the composite as well, I’m curious.


This is PERFECT in regards to an interpretation. It might help to talk with this person face to face if possible.

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llewsacm
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posted March 22, 2019 09:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for llewsacm     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
You have 3 of the worst and really tough/unpleasant mercury aspects with each other; their Saturn square your mercury, and their mars/Pluto conjunction opposite your mercury. Your mercury is being negatively being hit by all 3 malefics! Lol your poor mercury. And it being in Aries conjunct Jupiter in the 8th, you’re not one to hold back your opinions or afraid to speak your mind or back down from an argument (your mars in Gemini as well lol).

The Saturn makes this person very critical of your ideas and opinions, very dismissive as well. Probably don’t even want to hear you out or might even ignore you etc. and they make you feel stupid or call you immature/impractical etc. And his own Saturn squaring his mercury means he has a very critical mind anyway, and will feel like he needs to tell you how wrong or stupid you are or reprimand/correct you (Saturn is like the stuffy old wise teacher/parent archetype who “knows best” or needs to discipline you lol), and with mercury conjunct Uranus, he can be dogmatic or a know-it all like a Mercury in Aqua. Mix these two energies together and this person can be a challenge to communicate with for anyone regardless of aspects.

The mars/Pluto opposition means they like to challenge your ideas, and play devils advocate (their mercury in libra shows this naturally but these aspects are really going to set it off). They will also be condescending/arrogant or controlling/manipulative and might even try to gaslight you or play mind games with Pluto... they get impatient with you too when you’re talking with the mars, might cut you off or speak over you etc. And your Jupiter involved in all this is just blowing this all up, making it worse... doing what Jupiter tends to do; make things bigger, but this time in a negative sense. Just amplying all these negative dynamics.
Also, you have mercury opposition mercury (totally different ways of thinking and communication) and his own Saturn is square his natal mercury, so that square from his Saturn to your mercury as well is creating a t-square. So it’s like you’re caught in this repetitive negative loop/dynamic (t-square is a closed pattern formation).

So it’s just a big lack of understanding and mental incompatibility to put simply, which of course is the root of all arguments. Mercury aspects are very important, since the main thing we do with another person is communicate lol you can’t have any sort of connection or relationship without it. So I suggest if you can’t work through these issues (which tbh, having all 3 of these aspects there’s a really strong probability you won’t, one ok sure, two MAYBE, but 3 is a big challenge plus the mercury opp mercury )... you should stop talking since arguing all the time with someone is very toxic and not benefiting either of you.

His mercury in your 3rd house helps a bit though....

You should post the composite as well, I’m curious.


This is PERFECT in regards to an interpretation. It might help to talk with this person face to face if possible.

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LunaIscariot
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posted March 22, 2019 11:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LunaIscariot     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by llewsacm:
This is PERFECT in regards to an interpretation. It might help to talk with this person face to face if possible.

Thank you lol. My Virgo moon really appreciates your use of the word “perfect” 😂👍

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Hikaru29
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posted March 23, 2019 01:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hikaru29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
She has a lot of videos about Plutonic relationships. She said that they are meant to help us grow and transform. This is the first time I've ever experienced this kind of relationship. It's really hard to walk away I honestly don't want to. But I'm Plutonic myself so maybe I'm drawn to Plutonic relationships. I like the bonding and intensity but I hate the arguing. I wish there was a way that we could at least remain friends.

I get you. I wonder if it's hard for both, or only one party? 🤔 I've never asked them how they feel.

You can't change them or help what they think. You can only change yourself. Find out their language of love. Sometimes you think you have done everything to show you care but they're not receiving it.

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ana_bee
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posted March 23, 2019 04:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ana_bee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
This is the same exact thing an astrologer told me that did a synastry chart for me and this person. But I told him that I was sorry if he felt judged or criticized by me. So even though I feel like family to him he still feels
criticized by me? He has told me that he doesn’t feel like I appreciate him. That’s insane though because I help him financially so I don’t understand how he could feel this way. That is his own insecurities because I don’t feel I take advantage of him.

People who are closest to us (family) are the ones who can push our buttons the most! You don’t have a ‘socially appropriate’ filter like with the rest of society. These people sometimes trigger you in the most uncomfortable ways. When this happens in a 12th house area (like with your friend), there’s no place to escape; it’s also not rational.

The only thing you can do is be transparent and very honest about that. Don’t put up walls, too. Because this will make them even more defensive.
If this doesn’t work out, you should ask yourself if this relationship is worth it. The sex might be amazing, like you said, but this isn’t enough in the long run.

I’ve experienced this. I also thought the sex with my ex was the best, I would never be able to make a connection that deep.. I couldn’t imagine how this would even be possible! But as soon as you allow yourself to get over them, you’ll be open to be utterly amazed by someone else! I’m experiencing this right now. It’s so good!!

Edit: Maybe you should reconsider supporting them financially! In my experience this is seldom a good idea in the long run, whether in friendship nor in a relationship. The only people worth supporting financially are your parents and children or your marriage partner (where you merge assets anyway). Other than that it only causes problems! It messes up the whole power dynamic. You can’t have a partnership of equals, where one is financially supporting the other. Maybe that’s one of the reasons they have issues of confidence. They feel undervalued by you, because you’re supporting them, and they have an innate problem with that. Feeling guilty or less potent, because they can’t finance themselves.

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ChildofVenus
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posted March 23, 2019 05:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He helps me too though and gives me things. If I need something and he has it he’ll give it to me so it’s not one sided. He gave me books and a computer for school. I mentioned that the sex is amazing. But it’s not only about that he’s like family to me. That’s the reason why I don’t want to cut things off with him. Because he feels more like family than my real family. I’ve shared things with him that I’ve never shared with my family. That’s why it’s so hard to just walk away. I feel like I would be losing someone that means so much to me. And not in a romantic way but because to me he is family. It’s hard to explain if you’ve never actually experienced that kind of connection with someone.

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