posted April 27, 2019 12:45 AM            

Anyways I have been dating this cap man. Idk what it is, his cap sun/mars are on my NN his aqua venus opps my mars.
The thing is he bores me. Sighh. I like his personality hes really nice and sweet, overall he seems like a really good person.
Its been a while since ive really dated someone, im not getting any younger, and i feel lonely. So i dont want to just walk away.
Im really trying. But he just bores me in the private spot 🤔. He just doesnt get it done. If u know what i mean. Im not pleased. He seems more interested in himself, not concerned about my enjoyment.
Is this a common cap thing. Or is this because leo/cap energy dont jive well together. I keep trying but im just not feeling it.

posted April 27, 2019 03:24 AM            

Have you tried subtly "directing" him to what you like? Most people want to please the other person in bed and don't intentionally mean to be self involved.And Cap is no differently.

The trick imo is to arouse each other BEFORE you get to bed. As most times its really the attraction towards someone(Venus) that inspires an orgasm(Mars).

So with Mars opposite his Venus, you could come across too fiery for his more cerebral/detached way of relating.Or unconsciously irritate him the more time spent together.

Mars in Cap can take time to relax and get into intimacy. Often times very reserved sexuality wise, they can need to be encouraged and given time to "unfurl".Trust(Saturn) is linked to sexuality expression(Mars).And there is a tendency of being turned on by being the boss(Saturn rules Mars)

So perhaps having two "bossy" types i.e Sun rules Leo Mars and Saturn rules his Mars in Capricorn, could mean there are two captains who want to steer the ship.

Whilst yout approach may be confident and energetic. Cap can be self conscious in sex-worried about whether they are "doing the job right" more than enjoying the experience.

Start by arousing each other BEFORE the bedroom through conversation(Venus in Aqua is aroused by great mental sparring as are all Air Venus/Mars signs).

When it comes to sex, express to him what you like "I really like how you kiss me like that" or "hold me just like that" etc. give him practical directives and congratulate him for going the "right" direction as that will build his confidence that he knows what he is doing etc.

You have to make sex to be more sensual(earth Mars is strongly sensual) and don't expect theatrics just yet. Not until the confidence builds up as earth Mars likes to"master" the practical aspects of sex and can focus on technique more than connection(water), versatility (air) or passion(fire).

Mars in Cap (essentially) wants to please.And as they become more comfortable, they can surpass "expectations". Just be diligent in your encouragement.

posted April 27, 2019 01:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kikisaan:
Is his Mars combusted? This could hide the sensitive, pleasing side of his Cap Mars.

Lioness

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posted April 27, 2019 01:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Always so awkward to meet someone who doesn't "gel" with you sexually. And sexuality is such a hugely sensitive subject "as is".

Have you tried subtly "directing" him to what you like? Most people want to please the other person in bed and don't intentionally mean to be self involved.And Cap is no differently.

The trick imo is to arouse each other BEFORE you get to bed. As most times its really the attraction towards someone(Venus) that inspires an orgasm(Mars).

So with Mars opposite his Venus, you could come across too fiery for his more cerebral/detached way of relating.Or unconsciously irritate him the more time spent together.

Mars in Cap can take time to relax and get into intimacy. Often times very reserved sexuality wise, they can need to be encouraged and given time to "unfurl".Trust(Saturn) is linked to sexuality expression(Mars).And there is a tendency of being turned on by being the boss(Saturn rules Mars)

So perhaps having two "bossy" types i.e Sun rules Leo Mars and Saturn rules his Mars in Capricorn, could mean there are two captains who want to steer the ship.

Whilst yout approach may be confident and energetic. Cap can be self conscious in sex-worried about whether they are "doing the job right" more than enjoying the experience.

Start by arousing each other BEFORE the bedroom through conversation(Venus in Aqua is aroused by great mental sparring as are all Air Venus/Mars signs).

When it comes to sex, express to him what you like "I really like how you kiss me like that" or "hold me just like that" etc. give him practical directives and congratulate him for going the "right" direction as that will build his confidence that he knows what he is doing etc.

You have to make sex to be more sensual(earth Mars is strongly sensual) and don't expect theatrics just yet. Not until the confidence builds up as earth Mars likes to"master" the practical aspects of sex and can focus on technique more than connection(water), versatility (air) or passion(fire).

Mars in Cap (essentially) wants to please.And as they become more comfortable, they can surpass "expectations". Just be diligent in your encouragement.

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Very good info. I dint have an issues saying what i like or foreplay . I am a lioness so the more attention i get the better .
Age could be a factor also. We both could just be happy we are getting some. Lol. I just get the feeling from him that hes just not concerned with my pleasures. Maybe im just not getting enough attention in the act. Im leaving feeling unsatisfied and disappointed. I left with thats it?

I dont mean to sound rude, but its just really bothering me.

posted April 27, 2019 03:18 PM            

it's very important to me that the person i'm with gets off

i can't really relate to what Aries23Degrees wrote tbh, i feel like there's degrees of intimacy with sex and in a relationship i take it seriously as far as an emotional/spiritual connection goes

outside of a relationship i'm still fine with doing **** like exploring fetishes and having a good time based on mutual preferences (i'm also willing to do stuff i'm not necessarily into but know the other person is because getting them off helps me get off; i don't have many lines) but i'm not going to engage in **** like tantric sex with someone i'm not deeply intimate with

i do enjoy being in charge but i'm fine with the reversal, more in an bdsm way but also not

as far as encouragement goes, it's pretty obvious when someone is enjoying themselves and i prefer physical rather than verbal encouragement if any is given rather have nails in my back or feel teeth than get practical advice during sex; that sounds like a turn off

i think all the parts of sex he listed are important too, depending on the person i'm having it with

posted April 27, 2019 04:35 PM            

I'm not a Cappy Mars, but I am Cappy Sun & Venus and can confirm there's often a submissive side to Caps when it comes to sex. Maybe its because we spend all that time trying to be in control at work and in other areas that in private we just want to roll over and let someone take control instead!!

posted April 27, 2019 04:51 PM            

He was on top of me, hes a muscular heavy guy, and i couldn't breathe, i couldn't even say anything because i couldn't breathe. Lol. So i tap him, hes not paying attention doesn't see that its not pleasurable. Just keeps going, then it was just over. At that point i had to let out a sighh of relief because i could breathe again. Lol

So clearly he really wasnt paying any attention to me, or checking to make sure i was enjoying the moment. I then felt that he was more concerned with him and not me.
Also i like aggressive men, not domineering but in charge types. Idk he seems more on the passive side.
Maybe hes not that comfortable yet, or its something
else.

Maybe its just me

posted April 27, 2019 05:27 PM            

i'm more dominant in bed than out of it personally, i'm cool with being submissive that can be a good time too but generally speaking i'm not

though it also depends on whether i'm with a woman or a man for me

@Lioness

no problem, and honestly lol that sounds like a him issue not a you one

if the guy isn't paying enough attention to notice that you can't breathe then he's definitely ******* up otherwise lol and i don't think that's a comfort thing at all just sounds like he's inattentive and selfish

if he's sensitive and you don't want to hurt his feelings you could always just tell him things you like and see if anything changes though being real i'd rather just hear the truth about something so i can do what the other person wants instead of continuing to do **** they don't like for an extended period of time

it would bother me more to not know, because what the person i'm with likes is a priority for me

posted April 27, 2019 06:14 PM            

I like to be tossed around, flipped and turned. Not just have someone put all of their weight on my chest. Lol.

posted April 27, 2019 06:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Lol. Now u understand what i mean. Its not the fact that it happen, its that he is clueless even afterwards that it happen. So hes more into him self is what I'm thinking.

I like to be tossed around, flipped and turned. Not just have someone put all of their weight on my chest. Lol.

I can play the aggressive part also, when the time is right. 😉

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into himself and lazy too, he could at least support his own weight

posted April 27, 2019 07:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Lol i didn't even think about it being lazy. But now that u mention it. It is lol

Ok at least now i know i know, its not just Me that would feeling bothered by it.
Im really upset he didn't realize . Feeling he only out for him self.

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lol well not going to lie i'm sure every guy has been there before, tired as **** long night, having sex anyway you're might be a little lazy about it here and there

but not supporting your weight at all the entire time, every time, not mixing it up, not changing positions etc that's lazy, selfish and boring

like i said i'm bi so if i was with a guy like that who was going to insist on being a top i wouldn't be happy about that either lol that was one of my issues with my last fwbs he could be too lazy for me and it got to a point where i just lost interest, and he wasnt even as bad as this guy sounds (he's an aquarius mars, cap retrograde venus)

i guess it's possible he doesn't realize a woman isn't going to be satisfied with just that, but lol i can't imagine how really

does he at least go down on you or some **** to make up for the laziness? because if not you shouldnt feel bad about being upfront

if i had been ******* chicks like that i'd want to know i was ******* up so there wasn't a group of them out there somewhere who could have a conversation like this about me lol

posted April 27, 2019 08:51 PM            

Yeah ill try to talk to him, kinda hard to find the polite way if saying u suck in the sack!

I keep wondering if maybe hes not comfortable or its me. Only Im almost 47 and never had this happen to me in this way. Feeling a lil self conscious over it also.

I have uranus/pluto in h7. I need intense and crazy!
I theive off of intensity. Never wanna give it up

posted April 28, 2019 08:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:

I have uranus/pluto in h7. I need intense and crazy!
I theive off of intensity. Never wanna give it up

I miss my fishy. We never had any issues . It was always amazing! [/B]

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well being real, sex is important in relationships and out of them so yeah that'd bother me

someone's sharing their body with you why be selfish about it or not make them feel important etc and so on, i've had people who weren't important to me mistake sex with me as something more special than it was because i always make the experience feel meaningful even if it isn't and i care about the other person's needs

because i take it seriously (and i don't take very many things seriously) it would bother me yeah

you don't have to necessarily tell him he sucks, you can just suggest trying something different or even just having sex in a different spot where that particular position isn't available (******* in a chair or the shower etc doesn't exactly come with the same range of mobility but it also creates situations where throwing all his weight on you and being lazy isn't an option) and then make a point of saying what you have enjoyed etc

there's ways around it without outright saying it and ways of doing new things that might change what's being done

better than having bad sex all the time

with the comfort thing idk, but i wouldn't blame cap mars on that, i've been uncomfortable with someone and haven't felt like having sex but did it anyway because they were around (more than one occasion too) and wanted to and like i said they've thought it was special and felt wanted etc so comfort might not have anything to do with it at least in my view

but i wouldn't say that necessarily had anything to do with you some people just aren't very good in bed, the same way some people are terrible kissers

thing is when you aren't good at something enthusiasm at least helps, and if there's none of that then there's an issue

intensity is important with sex, maybe tell him you want to try something with him and take control and see where that goes though if you don't feel comfortable just telling him what you like or want or what he isn't doing

it's odd to me because i've had discussions with people about what i like/don't like and what they are/aren't into before the first time without dating or anything so i'm not really understanding why in a situation where you are there's that wall

part of sex is communication, needs to be there and that's something you can take a step to change without him needing to take charge

if he's more passive maybe you need to