posted May 03, 2019 06:31 AM            

The question is, suppose a chart has a troubling aspect that reflects a real issue. Let's say that the chart aspect shows blockage and distancing in a relationship and in reality one of the involved persons had a past situation that led them to distance and avoid themselves.

Would overcoming the issue lead to capacity to overcome the relationship issue?
Because what a chart shows is the energy/tendency. It's our core energy, and in the case of composite, energy together.

I'm not sure how to put this exactly, but it's like the following logics:
1 - if charts shows inherent energy and inherent energy is well, the energy in us which however much mutable it's the "same";
2 - if we have the capacity to overcome situations;
3 - if a chart aspect reflects "trauma" caused by situations;

These ifs seems contraditory in terms of being changeable or not.

Personally I don't think that chart aspects rules us, but rather reflects what's in us. "As above so bellow", and not a kind of dictating who we are, if it makes sense.

posted May 05, 2019 05:07 AM            

This question popped in my mind because in a parent relationship composite I know, there is an aspect showing distancing and I can’t figure why.
Then some time after I went to a familiar constellation session and found the reason why, which is related to a past situation of the parent.

I was surprised because I thought more of a “personality” reason than actually a past situation.

posted May 05, 2019 02:15 PM            

First we are who we are. This will show in our natals. But life experience can change how we use that energy
For the good or bad.

Lets say u have an abusive husband to his wife.

The abusive behavior will show in his natal, and having an Abusive husband will reflect in her natal.

The composite /synastry will also reflect the abuse.

Can he change yeah he can, but most likely no. He will always be abusive to women.

Maybe at some point in his life he learns his lesson and changes and meets someone else and is not abusive to her,But then their composite would not show the abuse.

Does that make any sense?

posted May 06, 2019 06:30 AM            

I think the natal shows areas of potential hurt and weaknesses. Composites show where certain established relationships trigger these, or heal these. Divorced from whatever the natals or the composites say, we shoulder the responsibility of knowing and studying our own upbringing and traits. Each relationship is a decision: we decide to ask a very specific question to ourselves with each relationship. It's on us to find out which question it is, and how to answer it.

I have been very close to a few people who were abused. Their abusers shared some core traits. Please imagine a man who grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household. He grew up with a very specific notion of what love and anger looks like. During adulthood, he found himself being attracted to dynamics that resembled his childhood household. In the beginning, he always consciously acts in a manner that will distance him from what he knows and hates about himself and relationships, but in the end, he evokes similar things in very different people. These issues are reflected both in his own natal, and the composites of the types of relationships he is attracted to.

As far as I know, the composites cannot possibly show at what point this man is going to say enough to his own abusive tendencies, and his ability to take and attract abuse, and start doing the very hard work of looking at things the way they are. (Abusive people are almost always answering to perceived abuse upon themselves. Surprisingly, it is them who is being abused first in their mind. Therefore, they must spend time and effort into re-wiring the way they understand and read compassion, and to process anger and disappointment. They must do the work of aligning reality with how they perceive other people.) His own natal might point to his own potential of dealing with problems or his own feelings - but what he is going to do with this potential is completely his own responsibility.

I despise violence against women and minorities, period. I also do think abusive tendencies and set behaviors are incredibly difficult to change - but I do believe this is possible through very hard work. A female friend of mine who was suffering from marital abuse was told by her therapist that men who have their wires crossed regarding their relationship with women often, on average need 5 to 7 years of hard work to change themselves. And she was told that it was better if this work was done outside of a romantic or marital relationship for the man. Mind you, this therapist was my friend's therapist, so her advice was towards her leaving her husband, rather than waiting for him to get better.