posted September 02, 2020 04:14 PM            

Why do I remain hung up over this person? We've been friends for a few years and live in different cities now (still hang out/keep in touch), but I've been interested early on (which came outta left field for me). Unsure what their feelings are at this point.

EDIT: Synastry aspect table

posted September 03, 2020 07:23 PM            

I’m wondering if part of the reason you were drawn to him is your Descendant/his Ascendant in Saggitarius - he’s also got Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune in your 9th house conjunct your Moon and Venus, but his Jupiter squares his Scorpio Mercury in your 6th/his 11th house.

So there may be a discrepancy between how he thinks & how others sometimes perceive him. You may be particularly drawn to his curious/exploratory/open side whereas he may have another strong & important side to him, which is more solitary, cautious or protective. I’m guessing you may be aware of this side too, but I’m not sure if he always has the confidence of being able to express these different sides of himself to others (?)

I’m wondering if he is comfortable being more solitary than you, & you would desire more closeness/warmth sometimes than he needs or is always seeking?

posted September 03, 2020 11:01 PM            

@livvywatermonkey Hello, thanks so much for your response!

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Originally posted by livvywatermonkey:
I’m wondering if part of the reason you were drawn to him is your Descendant/his Ascendant in Saggitarius

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Yeah, I was definitely eyeing the ASC/ASC opposition. My Pluto is also conjunct my descendant, which I've read could mean I'd be attracted to Plutonic/Scorpio people...

I'd definitely say all of that is accurate, though, esp. with his different sides and expressing (or not expressing) himself. Is there a way to (gently) encourage him to express these more hidden parts of himself? My friends and I all generally agree that he can be pretty closed off at times, and we just want him to be comfortable and not be afraid to show those parts of himself.

posted September 04, 2020 01:16 AM            

I would say part of letting him know he’s okay just the way he is, & helping him feel like it’s acceptable/safe to show up to others as the whole person he is, is not making him feel weird for needing alone time.

I would say make sure you value his observations/the things he notices, even if you or your friends feel tempted to dismiss his observations sometimes because of the side of him that’s at times more antisocial; let him know you value his presence when he does engage, but that you don’t expect him to engage more than he’s genuinely comfortable with ...

then he feels free to engage when that works for him & when he’s engaging he doesn’t feel like he needs to censor that other side of him for fear of coming across weird/different/unacceptable to others. Don’t try & change him, just encourage him in the person he already is

posted September 04, 2020 09:29 PM            

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Originally posted by livvywatermonkey:
Well I feel like you guys would have great intellectual conversations with each other but are different enough to complement one another, too

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Is it our trine Mercuries that make you think so? I also notice my Mercury is in his third house - it's always been pretty easy talking to each other, we can talk about anything random to intelligent.

I'd say we're similar but also different enough where things aren't boring. Which aspects/placements stick out to you the most? (good or bad) Would it be long-lasting (friendship) or is it just not worth it? I'm unsure how he feels, if anything.

posted September 04, 2020 10:21 PM            

But his Venus-Mars is square your Mars?
Could that be why you two are still platonic?

I think that implies different sexual manners... as in...it could imply sexual incompatibility....

I think your friends might think he’s closed off because his Sun-Chiron and Mercury are in Scorpio...... also his Moon is in Virgo.... that might make him slow to warm up and share with them.
but his love nature (Venus-Mars in Sag) is quite different..... so that throws me off a bit!

Just what I see! I’m by no means an expert. Very new to this. Lmk what you think! xx

posted September 05, 2020 07:12 PM            

I can’t speak to how he feels but I feel like you would have the capacity to be warm with him & show him support & acceptance

posted September 05, 2020 09:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Dwhelps:
his Venus-Mars is square your Mars?
Could that be why you two are still platonic?

I think that implies different sexual manners... as in...it could imply sexual incompatibility....

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Yeah, idk how to feel about the Mars square Venus, haha. From videos and what I've read, people seem to swing one way or the other - that it's intense and sexy because there's like a mutual "pull" to each other, or it's stressful bc squares are are stressful. I've also heard some say any kinda contact between Venus/Mars in synastry is better than none, but all in all I've no idea, haha. I just take people's word that at the very least it's an intense placement that involves some kind of attraction.

posted September 05, 2020 09:47 PM            

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Originally posted by livvywatermonkey:
& maybe your North Node in his 9th ...

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I'll have to read up more on that, thanks @livvywatermonkey!

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I can’t speak to how he feels but I feel like you would have the capacity to be warm with him & show him support & acceptance

With Venus square his Psyche, you may need to learn how to appreciate his perspective & lifestyle/way of doing things, it may not be as automatic a process for you to understand him as others but then again that may be one of the reasons he intrigued you [/B]

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Yeah, I'd agree that when it comes to emotional outreach/warmth, I'd be the one more likely to take the first step than him. But I think we're both fairly guarded with our more...vulnerable emotions overall, heh.

It's weird, though, because when it comes to like, being playful/touchy he's always the one initiating it, so it's like mixed signals? *sigh* Maybe he likes me but not enough. Also find it intriguing that he could potentially find me intriguing in the first place, hahaha, he's told me before he respects me (.e.g he's admitted that when he's made decisions he'll think, "what would skynote do") which means a lot.

posted September 05, 2020 10:28 PM            

Sounds like you have a generally good vibe going on ^_^

posted September 06, 2020 11:31 AM            

Yeah, I definitely see those mutual Vertex points as significant! Because they are touching personal planets for both of you, I think it's quite beautiful.

I also agree with what you said about the Mars square. I've seen a bit of everything on the web, either/or. Certainly something's there, an aspect is better than none. There must be some sort of strong connection of sorts.

All in all though, I think my impression is similar to livvy's, that you two seem like a promising match.

The vibe I get is that he definitely cares for you.

I'm glad you told him how you felt!
From the sounds of it, and from your charts with him - I definitely don't think it's that he specifically doesn't want anything with you.

Perhaps he really is focused on working on himself right now. Especially since he's been rejecting others.

His Chiron is quite close to his Sun... is it? Natally, I mean?
So maybe that's why he's focused on his self growth right now.

Composite wise - off the bat I notice the Sun-Mercury-Venus conj.. that is REALLY nice. And the Vertex conj NN. Significant relationship.
But again I see Mars-Uranus... not sure what that means... and relationship to Chiron.
But overall, the vibe is more a good one, I feel.

He might come around with time!
in any case.. it looks like you two offer a lot of support and care to one another...

Maybe @todd can weigh in???

posted September 06, 2020 08:06 PM            

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Originally posted by livvywatermonkey:
In terms of warmth I don’t think you always need to be the one who reaches out first, but if when he initiates you can be a warm presence without feeling/indirectly expressing you’re dissatisfied with him progressing things (whether romantic or otherwise) more slowly than you would naturally expect him to if he had feelings, I think that’ll make a huge difference to his levels of trusting himself with you

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Yeah, I'm always grateful when he makes the first move (and by "first move", like I said it's being touchy/playful, but nothing deeper than that) bc he's usually not as forward. I have a feeling at times I may have seemed too direct for his taste, even if it felt normal for me. Ever since I came forward to him with how I felt a while back -- since then I've been careful not to come off as too "obvious" (even though I really don't consider myself that much!) or too flirty bc I don't want to give him this idea that I'm constantly pining after him and/or make him feel pressured. Granted, because we live in different cities (though he is planning to move closer soon!), we don't see each other often, but when we do I try to strike this...balance, so to speak.

posted September 06, 2020 08:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Dwhelps:
His Chiron is quite close to his Sun... is it? Natally, I mean?
So maybe that's why he's focused on his self growth right now.

Composite wise - off the bat I notice the Sun-Mercury-Venus conj.. that is REALLY nice. And the Vertex conj NN. Significant relationship.
But again I see Mars-Uranus... not sure what that means... and relationship to Chiron.
But overall, the vibe is more a good one, I feel.

He might come around with time!
in any case.. it looks like you two offer a lot of support and care to one another...

Maybe @todd can weigh in???

Edit: I just noticed in synastry, your NN/SN is also square his ASC/DSC axis. Not sure what that means but sounds significant!

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I didn't realize how close his Chiron was to his sun until you pointed that out! tbh Chiron is one of the last things I look at in natal charts, and I've less of an idea of how they play in synastry...

Yeah, it's like in both charts I see some really positive/significant stuff (e.g. Synastry vertex/sun ) but also challenging stuff (Moon OPP Mars + Mars square Mars and Uranus square sun??), as you've mentioned. It makes me nervous, haha bc I don't know which ones balance each other out.

If @todd could give their honest input that'd be awesome! But @Dwhelps you and livvy have definitely been helpful too, I'm so grateful!! The idealistic part of me of course hopes things will come around in my favor, but of course the cynical part of me is...crossing her arms and squinting lol.

posted September 07, 2020 05:14 PM            

This pattern always adds a "otgerworly". Like there is some higher resin to meet.very often the other person can totally relate to unusual or confusing things that have happened in you life.often with this aspect ,you find someone who has had similar but different feeling and experiences that you thought you would never be able to explain to anyone else.so this aspect often gives a immediate sense of familiarity because here is some one that gets you...even if you don't get yourself.
By itself the node shows a psychic connection.you think along the same Libes and always know what the other is thinking.adding the vertex can make this connection a bit confusing because the vertex adds " psychic"input that may to really relate to your relationship.the vertex can add phantasmagorical feelings and thought which just are too strange to integrate.so the vertex can interfer with trying to get to know some one intimately.
Here Chiron is sextiles to this stellium so there is a mental or intellectual basis to the relationship.Chiron dhows that you are both very sharp and articulate and are very investigative in that you want to know everything the other is thinking or feeling.
So the danger I'd that you both over think things and become befuddled by all the possibities.
But this is a excellent aspect for a platonic relationship because of the undelying commitment to truth.
Again,the node/vertex gives a great energy and just this energy might make you shy off from each other..that is be content with men at connection.

posted September 10, 2020 01:18 PM            

If I'm honest, I read your response a few days ago but I needed time to mull it over. There's a lot to absorb. If I understood you right, your observations regarded the composite chart 7th house placements, particularly the NN with vertex aspects.

It's interesting about the "higher reason" in meeting. I've never really thought of it that way, as we always were in each other's vicinity - we grew up in the same hometown and he transferred into my school, I'd occasionally interact with him. All of high school we had the same homeroom but never spoke. We rode the same bus bc we lived very close ( < 5 min) to each other, then I started driving. We only really started connecting senior year of high school; from having zero classes together to half of our classes with each other, and I'd started connecting with different members of his friend group.

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Originally posted by todd:
By itself the node shows a psychic connection...adding the vertex can make this connection a bit confusing...the vertex can interfere with trying to get to know some one intimately.
...
both over think things and become befuddled by all the possibilities.
But this is a excellent aspect for a platonic relationship because of the underlying commitment to truth.
Again, the node/vertex gives a great energy and just this energy might make you shy off from each other..that is be content with men at connection.

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So, essentially, does the vertex conjunction function like a double-edged sword here? Where it's so powerful that it both attracts and repels if too close?

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Originally posted by todd:
But I would say it is more that worth the chance that you might both acknowledge a strong emotional and physical attraction for each other.Your psyche/Eros midpoint is square to the midpoints of your Uranus/mercury,mars/mercury,Venus/Uranus a d Venus/mars midpoints.this pattern is totally hot.extreme sexual and emotional attraction.
Very romantic and idealistic yet very passionate. A possible rub is that Uranus is very u stable emotionally and any relationship might just become an brief affair.

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